KELLER'S TNA SLAMMIVERSARY REPORT
JUNE 13, 2010
ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW

OPENING THOUGHT: The pre-game show is better than anything on TNA Impact in selling the PPV (and, really, the entire promotion and everything and everybody in it). It's like a completely different mindset and perspective on how to promote wrestling goes into the pre-game show compared to Impact itself. The characters are so much more authentic, the storylines better explained, the issues so more believable. If they could parlay that and integrate that into the entire tone of TNA Impact, they'd really stand out.

-Mike Tenay and Taz introduced the show.

1 -- KAZARIAN vs. KURT ANGLE

The mic picked up a woman screaming over and over and over during Angle's ring entrance. It was a bit disconcerting after a while. The crowd enthusiastically chanted "Angle! Angle!" in the opening minute. Angle has begun growing out his hair out again. It gives him more of an edge when he does that. Kaz used a blatant low blow to break a back suplex. The ref was going to DQ Kaz, but Angle told him not to. Tenay said Kaz was using classic Ric Flair techniques. Kaz attacked Angle as he was still recovering "down there." Kaz threw Angle to the floor and then dove onto him at ringside. At 5:00 Angle exploded with a suplex, tossing Kaz across the ring. Both were slow to get up. They exchange punches mid-ring. Tenay noted that the crowd was very vocal tonight. Maybe Dixie Carter has been so excited because of a new policy to give free booze to fans before the show.

At 7:00 Angle applied the anklelock. Kaz flipped out of it and scored a two count. Kaz climbed to the top rope. Angle caught him up there and slammed him to the mat for a two count. The crowd began chanting "This is awesome! This is awesome!" Angle went back to an anklelock attempt. Kaz blocked it and fired back with a slingshot DDT for a near fall. The director went right to a close-up of Angle as he was clearly calling a spot after the first unreleased German suplex. Angle then hit a second suplex and a third. Kaz countered with a piledriver for a near fall. Taz said there's a reason Kaz is the no. 10 contender. Yeah, because Angle bowed out of the list and Kaz won a battle royal in which everyone was invited. So he's in the top ten basically by fluke.

At 12:00 Angle scored a believable near fall after an Angle slam. Kaz powerbombed Angle off the top rope and put his feet on the ropes for leverage but came short of a three count. Angle came back with another anklelock, which popped the crowd. Kaz crawled to the bottom rope, but Angle pulled him away and Kaz tapped out.

WINNER: Angle in 13:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Very good opening match. The crowd heat was pretty crazy for this. Not sure what's up with the crowd.

-They went to Tenay and Taz at ringside. They welcomed viewers to the eighth anniversary of TNA. He thanked fans for their loyal support for eight years. Taz thanked the pioneers from the beginning such as A.J. Styles, Abyss, James Storm (not Chris Harris), Kazarian, Jerry Lynn, Chris Sabin, Don West, Jeremy Borash, Bob Ryder, Mike Tenay, and the founder Jeff Jarrett. Tenay said it must be a bittersweet moment for him watching at home with is girls due to still recovering from the attack by Sting last month. Tenay shifted to hyping the line-up for the rest of the night.

2 -- DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. BRIAN KENDRICK

Taz said he ran into Kendrick in the rest room and asked him what he meant by his third eye telling him his destiny and he still doesn't understand. Tenay touted how sound Williams is as a technical wrestler. He did the head bob during his ring intro, which is nearly worth the price of the PPV alone. The crowd chanted "Brian Kendrick... Brian Kendrick..." at the start of the match. Tenay brought up Low Ki and Michael Shane as other X Division pioneers. Taz said he was always a fan of the X Division even when he wasn't in TNA. The crowd chanted at Williams, "You're a wanker!" Kendrick matched Williams's mat wrestling early.

The action spilled to the floor at 2:00. Williams back suplexed Kendrick onto the mat at ringside. Taz said Williams doesn't waste any motion in the ring, but just then he did his head bob thing, and Taz said, "Except for that. I don't know what that is." Kendrick made a comeback at 7:00 and scored a near fall after some kicks and knees. Kendrick followed up with a flying sidekick to Williams's face, inspired by Mirko Cro Cop last night. They went into a series of near falls and reversals. Williams hit a series of suplexes. Kendrick blocked the Rolling Chaos with a bite of Williams's hand. Williams came back with a tornado DDT for the win. The announcers said Williams was a hypocrite for demeaning flying traditional X Division style moves only to use a tornado DDT off the ropes to win.

WINNER: Williams in 10:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Another good match. Good engaged commentary from Taz to help play into the storyline of the match, that being the contrasting styles. I like the storyline of Williams being cast as a hypocrite for vowing to win with ground wrestling only to have to "resort" to traditional X Division flying moves to win.

-Christy Hemme interviewed Eric Bischoff and his cartoon assistant. Bischoff said Sting has his own agenda and whatever he has on his mind isn't in the best interest of the fans or the company. He said RVD makes them proud and TNA couldn't do any better. He said he hopes after tonight hopefully they can get Sting out of their hair for a while. The "eye candy" assistant is a heel gimmick as it comes off as Bischoff's proverbial red convertible sportscar that aging men buy to make up for diminishing in other areas. It's fine to have beautiful women sprinkled throughout a pro wrestling program, but this seems forced and "left over" from when Bischoff was being a dick to everyone a couple months ago.

3 -- MADISON RAYNE vs. ROXXI -- TNA Knockouts Champion

Rayne insisted before the match that she have a chance to say something. The crowd chanted, "Shut her mic off!" She asked Roxxi why for two years the Beautiful People have been dominated the Knockouts Division while she has been popping in and out of the company. She said she's putting it all on the line, then asked Roxxi what she's putting up. Rayne suggested Roxxi put up the same thing that Tara did - her career. Why in the hell would Roxxi even consider that? Rayne asked, "Are you scared? Are you scared?" Oh, the dreaded taunt that gets people to say yes to totally stupid things. Roxxi said, "You want my career, you have it." Rayne then hit Roxxi in the head with a mic. Rayne went for a quick cover.

Roxxi came up bleeding pretty heavily. She seemed stunned by her own blood. At 2:00 she made a comeback, though, and scored a near fall. After slamming Rayne on the mat, Rayne rolled to the floor. Roxxi threw her back into the ring, but was caught by a kick as she re-entered the ring. Rayne then gave Roxxi her finisher for the pin. Roxxi got emotional as she walked to the back. Rayne gloated that she made a deal and has to live with it.

WINNER: Rayne in 3:00 to retain the Knockouts Title and "end Roxxi's career."

4 -- BROTHER RAY (w/Devon) vs. JESSE NEAL (w/Shannon Moore)

A video package aired recapping this feud. Ray said he owes everyone standing in the ring an apology. The crowd chanted, "We want tables!" Ray said he's been "acting like a total douche bag." The crowd chanted, "You're a douche bag." Ray said Devon talked some sense into him the last few days. He admitted he shouldn't have talked to him the way he has. He is simply doing what he was taught to do by them. He said it's obvious the fans in TNA really love him. Devon applauded. The corwd chanted, "Jesse! Jesse!" Ray and Devon left the ring. Jesse shrugged and followed behind. Ray then - shock of all shocks - turned and attacked Jesse. Devon was not in on it as he had to be held back by security as Ray insisted the match with Jesse start.

Ray beat up Jesse as Devon yelled from the ring apron. Taz said Ray double-crossed everyone. Devon told Ray, "It's not over." Ray beat on Neal for two minutes. Neal made a comeback. The crowd chanted "Slammiversary!" Neal scored a near fall after a top rope bodyblock and a belly-to-belly. Taz said he was impressed. Ray made a comeback. The crowd popped as Ray stood on the second rope. Tommy Dreamer walked through the crowd. He yelled and extended his arms. The crowd chanted, "EC-Dub!" EC-Dub!" Ray pointed at Dreamer, who stood among the fans like in the old days. Ray went for a senton splash, but Neal moved. Neal then speared Ray and scored the pin. Dreamer smiled in response. Ray

WINNER: Neal in 4:00.

-Christy Hemme interviewed Hernandez backstage. She said it's huge news to see Dreamer in TNA. She also said Hernandez's return is huge news. Hernandez said for the past three months he's been sitting at home with a herniated disk in his neck because of him. He said tonight he gets revenge.

-Matt Morgan walked out wearing a neck brace. He said: "It is with deep regret that I have to be the one to come out here and inform everybody that "The Blue Print" Matt Morgan will not be performing on tonight's pay-per-view." He said the person to blame is Hernandez for injuring his neck by attacking him "from behind... again." He pulled a doctor's note and showed the referee that it said he cannot and will not be performing tonight. He said he's a quick healer and he will be back. He has dropped the "we" routine, which probably ran its course. Morgan continues to produce really good heel promos. He has really found a good approach to his character, so hopefully TNA doesn't screw it up. As Morgan left, Hernandez attacked him.

5 -- HERNANDEZ vs. MATT MORGAN

Taz said Hernandez "could care less about winning." He meant he couldn't care less. Taz clarified: "He don't care!" Okay, that's better. Hernandez ripped off Morgan's neck brace and threw him into the ring. The ref signaled for the bell to ring. Morgan begged off. Hernandez charged at him. Morgan side-stepped him and threw him to the floor. Morgan then hit a discus clothesline. Then he threw Hernandez shoulder-first into the ringpost. Morgan gleefully, methodically beat down Hernandez. Hernandez made a comeback at 5:00. Taz noted that Hernandez cut some bodyfat and is shredded. Morgan choked Morgan with his t-shirt. The ref pulled him away from the ropes. Hernandez tossed the ref, Brian Hebner, to the mat and Hebner had a somewhat awkward landing. The ref called for the DQ. Hernandez continued his attack at ringside. He ended up kicking the referee instead of Morgan when the ref didn't move as Hernandez went to give Morgan a boot to the face against the ringpost. Morgan fled to the back. The ref was down and wincing. His dad, Earl Hebner, ran out to check on his son. The other referees also checked on him.

WINNER: Morgan via DQ in 5:00.

-Hemme interviewed Hulk Hogan about the World Title match later. He said the feud is "beyond perspective," whatever that means. He said he's biased now because what Sting has done is way beyond the line. He said everyone wants the TNA Title. "All of us do," he slipped in. So he wants the belt? Hmmm. Hogan said there is an unwritten code of conduct that wrestlers live by. He said nobody should try to wrench his opponent's arm off his socket and rip it off his body. He said Sting hit below the belt. Hogan said the eyes of the world will be on Sting and we won't see a repeat of what happened last month with Jarrett. Why wasn't that promo on Impact last Thursday? At least it cemented Sting as a villain and explained why.

6 -- DESMOND WOLFE (w/Chelsea) vs. ABYSS -- Monster's Ball Match

Wolfe kicked a chair into Abyss's face early. This seems like a waste of Wolfe's talents. Wolfe wedged a chair into the corner. Abyss side-stepped Wolfe's charge and threw him head-first into the chair. He grabbed a couple trash cans, but when he threw them into the ring, Wolfe bashed one of the cans over his head twice. Wolfe chewed out Chelsea at ringside for some reason. Taz didn't know what his issue with her was. Wolfe pulled out a white stuffed bear wrapped in barbed wire. Wolfe didn't know what to make of it and took his eye off of Abyss for a ludicrously long time. Abyss splashed Wolfe from behind, knocking him into the barbed wire bear. Abyss then offered the bear as a gift to Chelsea. She accepted the gift.

At 5:00 Abyss pulled a black bag out from under the ring. He poured out broken glass. Wolfe was appalled. Wolfe used Chelsea as a human shield. Wolfe then jabbed Abyss with a kendo stick and then choked him with it. Wolfe dragged Abyss to the back and rammed him into the stage. He tossed him around the announcers' table, and then dragged him back into the ring. Next he set up a superplex onto a barbed wire wrapped table laid flat on the mat. Wolfe fought off Abyss and sunset flipped Abyss onto the barbed wire. The fans chanted, "TNA! TNA!" The camera showed close-ups of Abyss's arms bleeding. Abyss kicked out at two.

Abyss peeled himself off of the barbed wire. Wolfe began hitting Abyss with the barbed wire, then the kendo stick again. Abyss fell face-first onto the broken glass. Taz did a good job selling the weapon shots and big bumps. He said it "looks like a murder scene." Wolfe went for the pin, but Abyss kicked out. Wolfe insisted Chelsea hand him her purse. She did, but it was empty. He demanded to know where the brass knuckles were. She pulled them out of her top and tossed them over Wolfe's head and into Abyss's hands. Abyss KO'd Wolfe with the knux and then hit a Black Hole Slam for the win.

WINNER: Wolfe in 10:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Better than usual for this type of match. They made the moves they did count and sold them, and most of the moves weren't the type that shorten careers and cause brain damage (well, any more than typical wrestling bumps).

-Hemme interviewed RVD backstage. She said "the Internet is buzzing" and there's a feeling of anticipation in the Impact Zone. He said he wants to win the match for all of the fans for TNA because it'll be a dark day if Sting wins the belt. He said after what Sting did Thursday, stealing and vandalizing the belt. He said that bothers him. He said he's not sure about Sting's agenda, but his is to be the best. He said tonight it's bad news for Sting. He said it's not Showtime, it's "The Whole F'n Show-Time." Good RVD promo. Not great, but good, and much better than last Thursday's burn-out disinterested tone to his promos.

7 -- A.J. STYLES (w/Ric Flair) vs. JAY LETHAL

Tenay said Lethal has the passion and charisma to go with his wrestling ability. What in the hell does charisma have to do with his success in TNA, from the perspective of an announcer calling the show? Maybe some analyst outside of TNA can talk about the importance of charisma, but during a show, that makes as much sense as a patient on "Grey's Anatomy" asking a nurse whether he doctor has the charisma necessary to perform successful surgery.

After a collar and elbow hook up, Styles chopped Lethal's chest. Lethal shot back with a slap to the face. Styles staggered and rolled to the floor. The crowd battled with chants of "Let's go Lethal!" and "Let's go Styles!" Lethal went on sustained offense for several minutes. Flair and Lethal confronted each other at ringside at 4:00. Styles dropped Lethal crotch-first over the top rope and went on offense for several minutes. Flair choked Lethal at ringside. At 10:00 Lethal made a comeback and hit a flying leg lariat off the ropes. he followed with a moonsault bodyblock for a two count. Flair shouted to A.J. that Lethal is tired even though Lethal was in control. Styles made a comeback and scored a two count. Flair protested Earl Hebner's count. They argued.

At 14:00 Lethal countered a Styles Clash attempt with a released Dragon suplex. He went for a cover, but Flair put Styles's leg over the bottom rope. Flair denied he did anything. Lethal set up a figure-four. Flair freaked out as Lethal locked it in. Styles rolled over and grabbed the bottom rope. Lethal gave Styles a backbreaker and then went for a top rope flying elbow. Styles moved, then surprised Lethal with a Pele kick. Styles lost his balance when climbing the corner turnbuckles due to the effects of the figure-four. Lethal then caught Styles's subsequent backdrop off the ropes and turned it into a Northern Lights suplex for the pin. Tenay noted that he just beat the no. 2 man in the Top Ten.

WINNER: Lethal in 16:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Very good match. Two good athletes telling a good story with a good pace.

-Afterward Flair yelled at Styles for losing. Kaz entered the ring and talked to Flair. He told Flair that Styles just needs time to regroup. Taz said Flair must be humiliated that Lethal beat Styles.

-Sting popped into the camera's view and said he sent Hemme away. He said when he takes the World Title from the pawn Rob Van Dam, the veil will be lifted off of everyone's eyes around here. He said while some men want to rule the world and others want to make it a better place, some just want to see it burn. He asked which type of man he is and then laughed. He started the promo saying he's going to cover a lot of ground, and then he was done 12 seconds later.

-After a video package aired on the Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson alliance, Hemme interviewed Hardy and Anderson backstage. She asked how they feel as a new team facing an accomplished team such as Beer Money. Anderson said they need a name because every good tag team has a name. They decided their name will be "Enigmatic Assholes."

8 -- BEER MONEY vs. JEFF HARDY & MR. ANDERSON

Taz said he thinks Hardy & Anderson will provide a good challenge for Beer Money. TNA has deserves credit for doing a good job building up the idea of a tag team that has been together a lot has an advantage even over two good singles wrestlers teaming for the first time. This has been the best job Taz and Tenay have done so far as a team. Beer Money eventually isolated Hardy for several minutes. Anderson yanked Storm out of the ring to prevent a double-team. Hardy then came back and hit a Swanton at 6:00 for a two count. Storm yanked the ref out of the ring by his leg to stop the count. The ref then yelled at Anderson instead of Storm, telling him to get back to his corner, as Anderson was still at ringside. The ref apparently assumed it was Anderson since Storm pretended to be hurt after yanking on the ref's leg.

The heel duo went back to work on Hardy in the ring. At 12:00 Anderson hot-tagged in. Storm interfered and elbow dropped Roode when Anderson moved. Anderson dropped onto his hands and knees, then Hardy leaped off his back and flew at Storm at ringside. Roode surprised Anderson with a spinebuster for a near fall, which Hardy broke up. Storm then gave Hardy an Eye of the Storm. Storm put on his cowboy hat. Hardy threw him out of the ring. Then he surprised Roode by catching Anderson on a suplex attempt. Anderson then surprised Roode with the Mic Check for the win. Anderson bled from his forehead at the end of the match. Taz said he didn't expect that outcome, but Anderson & Hardy got it done. Anderson and Hardy announced each other as the winner. Hardy then said "Happy Slammiversary" and said, "TNA rocks!"

WINNERS: Hardy & Anderson in 14:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good formula tag match. Basic stuff mostly, but effective.

-They went to Taz and Tenay at ringside who previewed the TNA World Title match. A video package then previewed the match with those pre-show sitdown interviews that almost no one saw even though it was the best sales pitch for the PPV. In the "Tale of the Tape," Tenay said the Championship Committee hand-picked Sting as the no. 1 contender. He added that Sting considers RVD simply the being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

9 -- ROB VAN DAM vs. STING

The best ring announcer in the biz handled ring intros for this match from center-ring, giving it that "big prize fight feel." A collar and elbow hook-up led quickly to Sting throwing RVD to the floor and brawling into the crowd. They ended up back at ringside at 2:00 and battled against the guard rail. Sting backdropped a charging RVD into the crowd area again. Sting settled into a chinlock at 5:00. RVD made a comeback and scored a two count after a flying sidekick (which Tenay inaccurately called a thrust kick; come on Taz, give Tenay the 101 lesson on what defines the basic karate kicks - side kick, hook kick, wheel kick, axe kick, front kick, thrust kick, tornado kick, crescent kick). The guys who's a stickler for calling Lucha Libre moves correctly should take five minutes one of these years to learn the basic karate kicks wrestlers use all the time.

At 8:00 when RVD took out the ref inadvertently with a bodyblock, Sting introduced a baseball bat into the match. Jeff Jarrett walked to the ring which got almost no pop. He entered the ring and hit Sting with the baseball bat. The ref was still down. He jawed at Sting, then jabbed Sting in the jaw with the butt end of the bat. Tenay said Jarrett evened the playing field. RVD hit Rollign Thunder and dragged Sting to mid-ring. The ref then counted, but Sting kicked out just before three. Sting avoided a charge by RVD in the corner. Sting went for a Stinger Splash, having totally recovered from the baseball bat shots. When RVD moved, Sting hit the corner hard. RVD kicked him and then hit teh Five-Star Frogsplash for the win. The ref counted very slowly, RVD complained during the count, but Sting still didn't kick out before three.

WINNER: RVD in 11:00 to retain the TNA World Title.

STAR RATING: (**) Eh, not much of a main event. If that's all Sting's got, keep him in semi-main events and out of the main event World Title picture. RVD should be having Match of the Month candidates to create a buzz with one part of the crowd TNA is trying to win over to increase PPV buys, and this wasn't even close. It followed the storyline well enough, although somebody should get a message about Jarrett given the lack of pop he got coming out in front of this otherwise super-enthusiastic crowd.

-Tenay signed off by thanking the loyal fans as RVD celebrated.

QUOTEBOOK

Desmond Wolfe: "I know Abyss has a two-digit IQ. I know he is not smarter than a fifth grader."

Taz: "I have yet to see the rule book. I don't know where this rule book is."

Mike Tenay on Jay Lethal: "From under the radar to through the roof here in TNA. Quite honestly he's got the passion and the charisma to go with the in-ring ability."

Mr. Anderson: "What do you get when you cross an Enigma with an Asshole?"

Hardy: "Charismatic Assholes."

Anderson: "Assholes of the Night."

Hardy: "Creatures of the Assholes."

Anderson: "The Enigmatic Assholes."

Taz on RVD: "He has an extreme, pun intended, side."

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