By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

We discussed this topic on the Wednesday PWTorch Livecast, but with the big wedding coming up tonight on TNA Impact, this is probably the perfect time and place to go over some of professional wrestling's classic wedding storylines. This isn't a comprehensive list, not by any means, but it should give a newer wrestling fan a look at possible scenarios for tonight.

- Scenario #1: Couple gets married, lives happily ever after.

The best example of this happened at WWE's Summerslam 1991, where "Macho Man" Randy Savage married his real-life spouse, the lovely Elizabeth, in the middle of the ring at Madison Square Garden. The wedding went off without a hitch, and fans of the happy couple got to see a momentous occasion in the lives of Randy and Liz.

The dastardly Jake "The Snake" Roberts disrupted the wedding reception, but the viewers didn't get to see that until it was shown on television the following weekend. You can also have other reception related mishaps, like the bride seeing a video of the groom nailing the wedding planner (Edge-Vickie Guerrero-Alicia Fox, July 2008) or something as innocuous as a food fight (Paul Vachon & Ophelia, December 1984)

Happily Ever After: The Savages broke up a year or two after the wedding. Fortunately, there's no connection between professional wrestling weddings and what would happen in a real-life ceremony.

- Scenario #2: The wedding is a complete circus, but the couple gets married anyway.

Your best example of this happened in August 2004, when the lovely Amy "Lita" Dumas had her shotgun wedding with the monster, Kane. This was part of an epic storyline that I won't even begin to recap now. Seriously, this was better than "Tony 'n Tina's Italian Wedding." We had a Bible reading from Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff, a special video recap done to the tune of "Having My Baby," Trish Stratus interrupting the ceremony and having a catfight with the bride, Matt Hardy running in to attack Kane, Kane chokeslamming Hardy off the ramp through tables, and EMTs tending to Matt Hardy as the show went off the air.

Happily Ever After: That part's waaaaay too complicated to describe in the space provided.

- Scenario #3: The Heels Attack the Bride and/or Groom, and the wedding doesn't happen.

The textbook example of this comes from TNA, where Kurt Angle and Karen Angle were set to renew their wedding vows for Valentine's Day (TNA Impact, 2/14/08). However, the groom was attacked by rivals Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash, and the minister wound up marrying Karen to A.J. Styles instead. Oops. For a variation on that, you can have the best man stopping the wedding and declaring his love for the bride. (Jay Lethal-So Cal Val-Sonjay Dutt, June 2008. Yes, two wedding angles by the same promotion in four months. Really.)

Happily Ever After: Well, Mr. and Mrs. Angle ARE happily married five years later. Married to different people, that is.

- Scenario #4: Breaking Up At The Altar

In this scenario, something happens between the bride and groom that stops the wedding in its tracks. A fine example happened when Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Stephanie McMahon were set to renew their vows on WWE Raw in February 2002. Before the ceremony, Triple H discovered that Stephanie had lied about being pregnant with their child. Triple H, instead of renewing his vows, gave Vince McMahon a Pedigree and demanded a divorce. For an alternate scenario, you can have the bride ditching the groom after revealing that the groom's not the real baby daddy (David Flair-Stacy Kiebler, September 2000)

Happily Ever After: Hey, it eventually worked out for Mr. and Mrs. McMahon-Levesque, both in storyline and in real life.

I don't really have time to get through Scenario #5 ("Bride Leaves With Mr. McMahon"), Scenario #6 ("Bride Is Secretly Married To Triple H"), or Scenario #7 ("I, Vince Russo, Was Booked To Be The Father All Along, And That's The God's Honest Truth, Wade"), but if we get that far down the list, we'll be covering a much bigger story this evening.

Pat McNeill of Richmond, Virginia has been a PWTorch Columnist since 2001. His own wedding went off without a hitch, despite Bruce Mitchell being in attendance.

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