By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

...And Then There Were Four: McNEILL previews TNA Genesis 2013!

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA Wrestling pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Eric Bischoff, Brother Love, Dave "I Want Wrestling" Lagana or anybody else in Carter Country. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything's made up and the points don't matter. No TNA employees have been harmed in the writing of this column. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive the Hoover Portapower Vacuum. All the power of a full-sized vacuum in a neat, lightweight, compact canister. The Portapower from Hoover. And remember, if you come within $100 of the actual retail price of your showcase, you win both showcases. This is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had control over Total Nonstop Action, unless it's not funny enough.

Do you really think we're going to make fun of TNA this month? The promotion is going down to FOUR live pay-per-views per year. Free at last, free at last! We're down to the big four TNA pay-per-views, and that's a win-win for all of us.

More on tonight's event later. Let's go on to this week's Wrestling History Lesson. Twenty years ago, on January 4, 1993, World Championship Wrestling stars appeared on the New Japan Supershow at the Tokyo Dome. Here's the entire WCW video release of the event, headlined by Sting battling Hiroshi Hase.



Here's the main event of last week's episode of TNA Xplosion, and it's a classic. Kenny King goes one-on-one with big Jessie Godderz. Jeremy Borash and Todd Keneley are on commentary.



TNA was nice enough to provide FREE access to their copy of the Genesis 2011 pay-per-view, which was headlined by...Mr. Anderson vs. Matt Morgan? Really? Mike Tenay and Taz have the call.



On with the projections!

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim vs. Mickie James vs. O.D.B. vs. Velvet Sky (Gauntlet Match): Five of the top TNA Knockouts are in action to get a shot at Tara and the Knockouts title at a later date. Good deal. Projection? Brooke Tessmacher beats O.D.B. Mickie James beats Miss Tessmacher. Gail Kim beats Mickie James, and Velvet Sky rolls up Gail to take the win. Velevet was brought back to TNA for a reason, folks.

Sgt. Devon vs. Joseph Park (Non-Title): Yes, Joseph Park has gone to wrestling school at Ohio Valley. For the moments, we'll forget that Mr. Park was doing okay in the ring before he went to wrestling school. Obviously, if the attorney beats Devon, he's in line for a shot at the TV Title on Impact. Projection? We're all pulling for Park, because he's a lawyer and all. But one of the 30,000 members of Aces and Eights hits Park with a blackjack, and Devon gets the winner. It's one thing for Mike Knox to lose, but the lead dog needs to go over.

Kenny King vs. Christian York (TNA X Division Contenders Match): Kenny King has a somewhat interesting storyline, so let's roll with it. Projection? King hits York with the Coronation to earn himself the title shot

Rob Van Dam vs. Top Contender (TNA X Division Title): Yes, it's the cocky Kenny King getting a second shot at Rob Van Dam. This is a fun little storyline, but there's more to come. Projection? Van Dam blocks a splash from King and hits Rolling Thunder to keep the X Division crown.

James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels: Last month, Daniels took out A.J. Styles. Now, he has his eye on the Tennessee Cowboy. Projection? Kazarian runs in and eats a superkick to protect Daniels, and the Fallen Angel hits Angel's Wings to keep his recent streak going.

Sting vs. "Doc" Hankinson: You know, if Mike Knox doesn't come out with a cast on his hand after Thursday's Impact, I'll be very disappointed. Projection? Well, they have some extra wrestlers in town this weekend for yesterday's taped pay-per-view. So, let's say Sting wins by disqualification after the Aces and Eights guys attack. Sting pulls off another mask, and the new Aces and Eights member is...Anthony Nese. Why not?

Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez vs. Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan (TNA World Tag Team Championships): Is Matt Morgan still feuding with Hulk Hogan? Sort of? Great? Projection? Ryan catches Chavito with a low blow and Morgan hits Guerrero with the Carbon Footprint, giving the Morgan and Organ tandem the TNA Tag Team Titles.

Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Robert Roode (Triple Threat Match - TNA World Heavyweight Title): The Aries-Roode mini-feud made for some fun television over the holidays. But neither Aries nor Roode has been set up to win the title. Projection? Roode falls to the Twist of Fate, and the Chrismatic Enigma rolls on as your TNA Heavyweight Champion.

Aftermath: Well, we have a wedding on Thursday. Logically, it's time to start pulling all these threads together. So, what if Bully isn't the one who's been corrupting Brooke Hogan? What if Brooke Hogan is the one corrupting Bully? I vote the wedding is a fake, and that Brooke Hogan is the leader of Aces & Eights, with Bully as her enforcer. There is no wedding. It's a setup for Aces and Eights to beat the crap out of Hulk Hogan and Sting. Again. Some more. She's a better reveal than Garret Bischoff. It explains how Aces and Eights had the run of the Impact Zone for months. And there's no way Brooke can be as bad as a heel as she is a babyface, right? Right?

***
Pat McNeill of Richmond, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He's proud that he snuck a reference to the band Genesis into this preview for another year. Contact him at patmcneill@live.com

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