By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors, it's time for our exclusive WWE pay-per-view projections!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are based on what the columnist would do if he were booking this event, instead of Paul "Haircut" Levesque, Stephanie McMahon Levesque and WWE President Vince "Business Dinner" McMahon. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything's made up and the points don't matter. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive Misty Harbor's latest in rainwear. Fashionable raincoats to keep you in style in good weather or bad. From Misty Harbor. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. These predictions are based on what the columnist would do if he had creative control over WWE, unless it's not funny enough.

This month's big story is the elbow injury to John Cena, which caused WWE to put "Big Hungry" Ryback in the main event Hell in a Cell match against C.M. Punk for the WWE Title. This has broken down into an argument as to whether WWE should have Ryback win and make him a big star, or to have Punk keep the title so the promotion can have Punk wrestle The Rock in January at Royal Rumble. Obviously, there's no way to tell in advance whether Ryback can draw money as a main eventer. But he has a better chance of succeeding if C.M. Punk puts Ryback over strong and Ryback captures the title.

Before we continue the discussion, let's get to this month's edition of the Wrestling History Lesson. Twenty years ago, the World Wrestling Federation taped a month's world of television shows at the Saskatchewan Center in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. This match was the main event of the October 26, 1992 edition of Prime Time Wrestling. No, really. It was Crush locking up with Papa Shango. Sean Mooney and the late Lord Alfred Hayes had the call.


Papa Shango vs Crush

Did you get the see the final match on "Friday Night Smackdown" last night? No? Well, here it is, as WWE World Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan takes on Damien Sandow.



What happened on WWE Raw fifteen years ago? I'm so glad you asked! From October 27, 1997 (taped in Tulsa, Oklahoma) we have the second hour of Raw (the War Zone). And yes, it kicks off with Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against former UFC Heavyweight Champion Ken Shamrock. Enjoy!


WWF Raw Is War 10/27/97 Part 2

Michael Cole, Jim Ross and John B. Layfield will probably be announcing this show. On with the projections!

John Cena will address the "scandal" involving him and A.J. Lee. No, we still don't know why John Cena would be having any sort of "business dinner" with A.J. Lee. Over the past five years, we've established that John Cena can pretty well do whatever he wants on WWE television, and that A.J. didn't do any sort of long term planning as General Manager. We've also seen previous GM's engage in hanky panky and other sorts of blatant favoritism over the years, including a lengthy stretch where Stephanie McMahon ran the company at the same time her (storyline) husband Triple H held the WWF Title. And Cena and A.J. are both single (as far as I know.) So, what's the big deal? Anyway, Cena will promise to defend A.J.'s reputation against Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler and their ilk.

There are six matches scheduled for Atlanta. I'm guessing we'll have a seventh match added, with Antonio Cesaro successfully defending the WWE United States Title against top contender Justin Gabriel.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez): El Patron's last feud was against Sheamus, a feud that ran for four months, but felt like it lasted for at least forty. So it seems unlikely WWE will wrap up the Orton-Del Rio feud right away. Projection? Let's go with an old fashioned finish of Del Rio covering the Viper while Ricardo Rodriguez holds Orton's leg to keep Randy from kicking out. Del Rio breaks his lengthy pay-per-view losing streak.

Team Hell No vs. Rhodes Scholars (WWE Tag Team Titles): There are those who feel it's time for Rhodes and Sandow to capture the tag team titles. But believe it or not, Daniel Bryan and Kane have only held the championships for six weeks. If it seems like Team Hell No have owned the titles longer than that, it's only because of three-hour episodes of Raw, and the fact that our champs are often called upon to put some actual entertainment in our sports entertainment. Projection? Daniel Bryan gets the No-Lock on Damien Sandow while Kane blocks Cody Rhodes from making the save. The champs keep the titles. For now.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz (WWE Intercontinental Title): It's been less than two weeks since Kofi Kingston defeated The Miz to capture the Intercontinental Title on WWE Main Event in a very good match. While The Miz certainly deserves to be taken seriously, so does Mr. Kingston. Projection? Miz goes for the Skull-Crushing Finale, but the Dreadlocked Daredevil is able to counter it into a float-over DDT for the victory.

Sheamus vs. Big Show (WWE Opening Match World Title): I don't know what's worse. Is it the fact that Big Show is once again in a major title match, or that Show is actually a more interesting challenger than previous number one contender Alberto Del Rio? Projection? Sheamus survives a couple of haymakers from the World's Largest Athlete, but is able to surprise Show with a brogue kick for the pin. After the match, Sheamus is still celebrating when Show knocks Sheamus out with the WMD punch. Sure enough, Dolph Ziggler makes his way down to ringside to cash in his "Money In The Bank" title shot. And, sure enough, John Cena comes in through the crowd, hops the rail, and puts the Showoff and his briefcase through the announce table. Sheamus leaves with the title.

Eve Torres vs. Layla El vs. Kaitlyn Bonin (WWE Divas Title - Triple Threat Match): Well, we've figured out why WWE doesn't use Kaitlyn's last name on television. Projection? There's only one way to go here. Eve hits Kaitlyn with the Heart Breaker in order to retain his championship.

C.M. Punk vs. Ryback (Hell In A Cell - WWE Heavyweight Title): Is Ryback the next big star in WWE? Well, we don't know. Can C.M. Punk survive a loss to Ryback on Sunday? That, we DO know. Punk will come out of this just fine. And WWE has an option here. If Ryback gets off to a slow start, C.M. Punk can beat Ryback in a tables match at the TLC show in December and get his title back in time to face The Rock at Royal Rumble. Projection? Punk tries kicks, Muay Thai offense, throwing Ryback into an exposed turnbuckle, some brass nucs and anything else that could drag this bout past the eight minute mark. Then Ryback bounces Punk off of every wall in the cell and hits the Shell Shocked to win the WWE Heavyweight Title.

Aftermath: The next pay-per-view is "Survivor Series," which takes place in three weeks. (Three weeks?!) Figure on Ryback vs. John Cena for the WWE Title and Dolph Ziggler defending his newly won Smackdown Title against Sheamus in a rematch.

***
Pat McNeill of Richmond, Va. has been a PWTorch Columnist since 2001. He'd take Oklahoma to beat Notre Dame tonight in college football. You know, if gambling were legal.

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