RADICAN'S TAKE TALES FROM THE PULPIT 9/17: Who won "The Taint" award for the week of 9/17? Nominations and winner announced! Sep 17, 2008 - 3:05:01 PM

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By Sean Radican, PWTorch Columnist

Once per week, where applicable I give out my weekly "The Taint" award for the dumbest moment or segment in wrestling that I've watched or read about in the past week. There have been many moments in the past week that deserve "The Taint" award. Without further adieu, let's take a look at the nominees for this week! Remember, if you see something you feel worthy of "The Taint," email me at PWTorchSean@gmail.com with your nomination.

"I cut promos while my theme plays in the background": Imagine if we all had custom soundtracks for each time we had something to say? Well, Kane does and it's dumb. Watching Kane talk made me wonder which Rolling Stones song fellow columnist Bruce Mitchell would use for his audio updates. Perhaps Wade would be backed by The Cure or Depeche Mode on The Daily Keller Hotline. I know one thing is for sure, Radican Audio Showcase co-host Derek Burgan's song would be the old music from the Vonage commercial that played when the kid threw his baseball bat through the window.

"Damn, I should have known the bitch was gonna turn on me": Jay Lethal, portrayed to be only slightly above Eugene when it comes to intelligent babyfaces in the annals of wrestling history, had So Cal Val turn on him on the Ring on a Pole match at the "No Surrender" PPV last Sunday. Val couldn't have really been that stupid all along when buying those explanations from Dutt, could she Jay? As Farooq once eloquently put it, "Damn."

"I paved the way for you guys, no seriously, I really did": Will someone tell Sting or whoever is scripting these stupid promos for him to just shut up. Last time I checked, there weren't a bunch of goofs running around the national wrestling scene with their faces painted cutting lame promos we can tell that couldn't care less about. Nobody watching Impact cares that Sting doesn't go on the road like Samoa Joe and A.J. Styles have been for house shows. Nobody cares about Sting making ridiculous claims that he has to make sure the young people in the business have respect before he leaves. Just leave TNA, Sting, and go have a three month run in the WWE so we can all see you face the Undertaker.

"White Jeans is back in the building mother-------!" Everyone's favorite babyface, Jeff Jarrett, is back in TNA and he's got his white jeans on, so watch out. The southern fried babyface, good ol "Double J" Jeff Jarrett returned to TNA last Thursday on Impact. Luckily for him, creative kept all of the babyfaces cool while he was gone so he could come back and prove he could (not) draw just as well (or worse) as them. Maybe when he faces Kurt Angle at "Bound For Glory," they can put Mick Foley on a poll and whoever takes Mick down first can use him as a weapon. Hey, don't tell me it sounds any dumber than the other things TNA creative has cooked up.

"I shouldn't have made the obvious joke": Ever since cracking on the employees responsible for making sure WWE employees are actually peeing in the cups when they're drug tested, WWE management has suddenly figured out that MVP can't work. What a coincidence! Not only is there heat on MVP for his comments to the drug testers, but according to the Wrestling Observer's Dave Meltzer, management now thinks Shelton Benjamin is a better worker than MVP and he proved it when he beat him in a recent match on Smackdown. The sky seemed to be the limit for you until you cracked that joke MVP, maybe Vince will change his mind since dick jokes seem to be right up his alley judging by his warped sense of humor that's been on display for years.

"We'll lowball Gail and then add this guy to the Beautiful People and ruin one of the best things on Impact": The beautiful people just haven't been the same since Cute Kip came along and joined them. He ruins just about every segment he's in with them. The knockouts division was always good because it was booked logically for the most part, unlike anything else in TNA. Something had to change, right?

Winner: Cute Kip & TNA Creative "We'll lowball Gail and then add this guy to the Beautiful People and ruin one of the best things on Impact." The beautiful people just haven't been the same since Cute Kip came along and joined them. He ruins just about every segment he's in with them. The knockouts division was always good because it was booked logically for the most part, unlike anything else in TNA. Something had to change, right?

The voting booth is open!: Next week, I'll present "The Taint" of the week award for the week of 9/24. "The Taint" award goes to the single most idiotic moment of the week in wrestling. You can email me your nominations up until midnight tonight at PWTorchSean@gmail.com. Vote early and often if you see something worthy of "The Taint." Make sure you put "The Taint" in the subject line for your nominations. Be sure to check right back here to see who wins "The Taint" this week!

Sean Radican and Derek Burgan deliver state-of-the-art wrestling audio each and every weekend exclusively at PWTorch.com/members. When not writing his obnoxiously successful “Tales from the Pulpit,” Sean collects matches to help Derek burn bridges. Contact him at PWTorchSean@gmail.com.

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