RADICAN'S TAKE TALES FROM THE PULPIT 7/21: The man who talks poopy and defies fire can’t escape the windshield of doom! Jul 21, 2008 - 11:11:52 AM

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By Sean Radican, PWTorch Columnist

I’ve openly wondered on the Radican Audio Showcase with co-host Derek Burgan, just what the heck WWE is thinking when it comes to what they’ve come up for John Cena creatively this year. He’s taken several pinfall losses, he’s been booked to talk about taking big dumps and even went on to spray paint poopy on JBL’s limo, he’s walked through fire on PPV, but yet he can’t take going through a windshield.

Cena is one of the stars WWE needs to remain strong at all times. With an aging roster, they’ve got nobody else with the proven track record of Cena to turn to, but how much more of this crappy (pun intended) booking can his character take?

Last night, Cena was involved in a terribly corny Parking Lot War with JBL. There was no commentary until both men came through the curtain as Cena drove a forklift that held a car with JBL inside of it. Prior to this, JBL had beaten Cena senseless, tossed him into a car, and lit the car on fire. I laughed harder than I had in a long time when Cena simply walked out of the car and started attacking JBL. It reminded me of something I might have seen with Hulk Hogan 20 years ago, but I was wrong.

You see, Cena went on to beat on JBL for several minutes and even set him up for the FU finisher on the stage in front of the sold out crowd in Uniondale, N.Y. So what happened? JBL escaped Cena’s clutches and tossed him through a car windshield beneath the stage before pinning him.

That’s right, JBL, who can barely move, pinned Cena clean on PPV. That wasn’t the only thing we found out last night at the Great American Bash. We also discovered that Cena can brave being trapped in a car set ablaze, but if you toss him into a windshield, he’s screwed.

And to think the same people responsible for Jericho-HBK came up with this.

Sean Radican and Derek Burgan deliver state-of-the-art wrestling audio each and every weekend exclusively at PWTorch.com/members. When not writing his obnoxiously successful “Tales From The Pulpit,” Sean collects matches to help Derek burn as many bridges as possible.

Email Sean Radican.

Click here to read Radican’s BLOG of Conscience for the Great American Bash.

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