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Cold open. Michael Cole announces that the biggest star of them all is here in Charlotte tonight. Jerry Lawler breathlessly adds he's there for something more than naming a new General Manager.

What could it be? Maybe he's going to read the Wellness Policy suspensions on the air.

There are three world championship matches tonight, even though there's only one world.

Chris Jericho, the best act in wrestling, is out to explain why Raw is in the toilet. The G.M. quit, the championship is vacant, and you, the fans…

Rey Mysterio's mask will be his downfall, and only Chris Jericho can set him free.

Apparently Rey isn't all that upset about getting unmasked by Jericho, because he owns another one he's wearing tonight.

Todd Grisham and Jim Ross call Chris Jericho defending the IC belt against Rey Mysterio.

Hey, a commercial! I thought this thing had none of those. My faith in the greed of Bonnie Hammer is restored.

Jericho is going for the mask, the new one, again. Ross is strong here explaining what the mask means to Rey. This turns into a very good TV match. Rey is in the middle of a West Coast Pop when Jericho pulls at the mask and then crisply hits the Codebreaker for the pin. This is a good start to the show.

The God of Wrestling is preparing for his close-up.

Randy Orton recaps his angle backstage. John Cena mocks him ad calls Legacy "The Baby Oil Boys' Club." Here we go.

Mr. McMahon announces that when opportunity knocks, you have to walk through the door. He's selling Monday Night Raw. "We want Flair." He's there, but that doesn't sound like him. I can't imagine Mark Cuban or any other real bazillianaire spending their Monday nights on this circus. Porn is on the skids, maybe Larry Flynt is looking for something new to do.

Tommy Dreamer defends the ECW Title against Christian. One guy chants "ECW." Somehow a clock in the corner knows how long this match will be, or at least that it's going ten more minutes because The Fatal Four-Way between Triple H, John Cena, Randy Orton, and Big Show is next.

Dreamer wins with a small package.

Bella and Kelly Kelly think Paris Hilton or the President bought Raw.

They show photos from Batista's surgery and announce that he'll be out for months. Wonder if Randy Orton and Legacy will pay Batista's medical bills and make up his pay from being out for months? They did break his arm, after all.

Randy Orton versus Big Show versus John Cena versus Triple H for the WWE Title… in that order. This match is on now? Cena and Triple H face solo just at the nine o'clock hour, in strark contrast to Wade Keller's rant about TNA Impact often being in commercial on the hour a couple of shows ago. Big Show finally breaks that up to do a few Giant spots.

Big Show delivers a long, slow spear on Triple H, who sells I like a champ. He's getting a lot of offense, so maybe he's taken the pin.

Big Show takes a Pedigree, broken up; Triple H takes an Attitude Adjustment, broken up; Big Shows takes an Attitude Adjustment, broken up; Big Show takes a RKO – new champ, Randy Orton.

New WWE Champion – is it historic if it happens every week?

Mr. McMahon comes out to intro the new "owner" of Raw. "It's got be such an emotional moment for Raw." Lawler suggests Jerry Richardson, owner of the Panthers. Good one, Jer.

McMahon has "a heavy heart." Oh, now, he has a heavy heart.

He has "a history" with this guy.

Donald Trump.

Well, he is a wrestling character. He's going to do something new, something never been seen before, he's going to hot-shot the hell out of it, you know, as opposed to having good wrestling shows.

He does a nice job reading off the teleprompter – next week Raw will be presented commercial-free. It's the same cadence he uses when he does pretty much everything. He'll be at Raw next week.

McMahon cuts him off after Trump reminds him he shaved his head. McMahon says he'll be back next week to give his good-bye speech.

The live crowd didn't much seem to care, but at least McMahon has a billionaire buddy to play with, after he got his feeling hurt by that Denver Nuggets rich guy.

Donald Trump made a lot of money for WWE at Wrestlemania a few weeks back.

We've got more than an hour and a half to go, so you have to figure there's more big stuff to come tonight.

Rosa Mendes (without help from Beth Phoenix) faces Mickie James. Diva champion (and management fave) Maryse is at ringside. James wins.

Goldust and Hornswoggle are in the ring shooting out t-shirts to the ring. The Miz comes down with a mic. He has a message for Donald Trump - if he's ready to take Raw to the next level, the new face of Raw is The Miz. Hey, that's right, he whacked John Cena with a chair last week. This week he's winning the big Battle Royal to get the title shot against Randy Orton at the Bash.

Goldust is disappointed in Miz's creativity. He once made out with Ahmed Johnson. Who? "Change your name from the Miz to the Wiz, because that's what everyone goes to take when you start talking." Miz rightfully makes fun of how lame that line is.

After some more "entertainment" from the script writers, Miz bests up 'Dust and shoots Hornswoggle with the t-shirt gun.

Lawler points out that's not a real gun, for all the kids at home watching.

A heavily-edited recap of Edge being mean to his soon-to-be-ex-wife is shown. I wonder why it was so heavily edited. C.M. Punk tells Josh Matthews he has no regrets. A vocal ,onority doesn't like it, because he beat Jeff Hardy, instead of of Edge. Matt Hardy tells him he shouldn't have any regret, in the same situation he'd have done the same thing.

Me and you, we're not the same. I've done everything the old fashioned way – by earning it." Well, except for wininng the world title from a guy who never did anything to you by pulling the rug out from under him at his highest moment.

On one hand Punk has a calm, babyface demeanor. On the other hand a jealous cheater like Matt Hardy would have done the same thing. On the other hand, he followed the WWE rules to the letter. On the other hand, he didn't have the guts to use the MITB to face Jeff Hardy head-up to find out who the real champion and better man is.

My head hurts.

C.M. Punk versus Jeff Hardy versus Edge for the World Title. I'm told the announcers were instructed specifically not to sell Punk's cowardice, because if they do and WWE Universe (not Nation) roots for Punk over Hardy, they've "lost control of their audience."

I think the WWE Universe is into stars, not stories, and Punk is a star that they like, just like Hardy and the announcers aren't cuing the fans that Punk's action against Hardy was gutless. In the end, all this means is that the angle won't mean much.

This is a pretty good match. Edge is the heel, Punk is babyface, Hardy is a super babyface. Punk injures his knee on the steel steps after being tossed off the top turnbuckle by Edge. Edge and Hardy keep fighting. Punk recovers long enough to bust up a Whisper in The wind. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb on Edge, but Punk busts that up, shoves Hardy backward in the steps, and steals the pin. Ross says Hardy earned the win, "to become the world's champion for the first time" (wrong) and Grisham praises Punk's resourcefulness.

Smackdown G.M. Theodore Long declares that Punk defends against Hardy at the match.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, two thirds of Legacy (I guess that Baby Oil Boys name didn't take) are at the announce table to watch the next match.

Tyson Kidd & David Hart-Smith, the Hart Dynasty, face Carlito & Primo Colon in non-title match. The Colons will defend against Rhodes & DiBiase. Just as Carlito is about to pin Kidd, Tully and Arn, I mean Rhodes and DiBiase jump in and stomp on the Colon brothers.

Triple H heads to the ring for the battle royal to determine the number one contender at 10:30 ET. Something big is definitely coming later on the show. No way the Battle Royal is that long.

Santino Morella wants to tell Mr. McMahon something. He wants to know whether Donald Trump is going to go for that twin sister dodge. McMahon thinks Trump might be attracted to his sister. McMahon takes a fake phone call from Trump. Trump wants to make an announcement tonight.

"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a billionaire with a huge ego."

Morella agrees, then starts stammering when McMahon gets mad. Cute.

Santino and Trump has comedic potential.

Rhodes, DiBiase, MVP, Matt Hardy, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Whozit, Big Show, Triple H, and John Cena go for the Orton title shot. Three Guys (Cena, Game, Show) just lost a title shot earlier tonight. They had their big chance. Shouldn't they get out of the way so someone else who didn't just lose can have a shot?

Okay, sorry, I'll be serious now.

Everyone throws out Show. That makes sense. Everyone throws out Triple H.

Okay, okay. I'll stop.

Orton watches from the ramp.

Cena and Triple H are the last two. Wait, Miz is still there. He's going to… oops, no he's not… Cena is out too. Triple H wins.

Donald Trump yells, I mean, announces that the title match is next week in a Last Man Standing Match. The Game laughs, but Orton winces.

I'll be glad when these companies dispense with this pay-per-view pretense and just admit they're TV shows.

Score (5.0): Donald Trump "buying Raw" should get some mainstream publicity, although not as much as last time. More importantly, it should help Vince McMahon feel better. The rest of the show, with the exception of Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio, was mediocre work from the usual suspects.

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