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Torch columnist Bruce Mitchell's Raw Mojo Review is made exclusive to Torch VIP members for a first-look on Monday nights.
We start with The Nature Boy, Ric Flair. Maybe this is the week he gets his ass kicked in. Flair accepts on behalf of the Mid-Atlantic Parade of Champions. He'll be glad to watch the MAPC beat Chris Jericho and shut his mouth for good.
Jericho interrupts, since it's not a Ric Flair WWE promo unless someone interrupts. Jericho explains how pro wrestling is real but movies are a work. Fans at home reflect on how pro wrestling is a work, thanks to Jericho bringing up the subject.
Chris Jericho is going to give Flair's friends a disgusting, uncomfortable beat-down, then euthanize them.
"We refuse to be judged by insignificant punks. We love to be appreciated, and we respect the people who respected us. I'll be so proud to stand by my Hall of Fame brothers as they beat you."
Jericho punches Flair in the face. He pulls Flair's jacket down and beats him up outside the ring. I'm curious whether Flair juices. He does, eating a camera in the head – in the first hour of the now-PG13 show.
Jericho beats the bloody Flair up at the announce table in front of Jerry Lawler, who yells his objections every few seconds. Boy, does he look like a shmuck. He tears Flair's shoes off and throws them to the crowd. There's no need for that. Those shoes cost more than your car.
Flair rises for a hope spot comeback. Jericho leaves him in his torn t-shirt and bare feet. Jericho gets the big heat for this.
It's a great segment, but in the end it's not Ric Flair getting revenge on Chris Jericho at WrestleMania.
Jeff Hardy faces Dolph Ziggler in an Extreme Rules match. Hardy asked for this match to send his brother Matt a message. Apparently the message is Jeff is easy to beat up. Michaels Cole says the tragic accidents that befell Jeff in recent months "may" have been caused by Matt. I, for one, appreciate subtlety.
Jeff makes his comeback, wears out Ziggler with a steel chair, then hits him with a twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb.
Hardy tells Matt that's not extreme, but he'll witness at WrestleMania will be. This was straightforward and too the point.
John Cena reads a poem about the Vickie Guerrero love triangle and winning the title. It's very clever, except that same old line about "throwing up in my mouth." It's also why this angle isn't drawing the interest a John Cena program should.
Another eight-man Money in the Bank preview match is up. It's so, exciting Ric Flair yells in the middle of it. Christian wins. Who says he wasn't right to leave TNA? Finlay whacks a few of them around with a ladder to remind fans of that aspect of the Money in the Bank match.
Randy Orton points out good reasons why he isn't a coward, like Triple H claimed on Smackdown. After tonight no one will claim he's a coward.
Edge is out for his match with Big Show. Vickie Guerrero, who loves both, is back in her wheelchair. Edge goes to kiss Vickie on her cheek, and she turns her head.
Jerry Lawler: Hell knows no fury like the wrath of a woman speared.
Words to live by…
She won't look at Big Show, either. Boy, is this stupid.
Cena plugs his appearance tonight on Jay Leno, and then gives them both a pep talk. Even he thinks this is stupid.
Show has Edge trapped in the ropes, much like Cena was at the end of Raw last week. Vickie doesn't want Show to beat up Edge. Chavo, who is a ringside, tries to save Edge and ends up speared by him. Big Show knocks out edge with one punch. He then walks out of the ring with all the energy I feel watching this.
Rey Mysterio faces William Regal. JBL is at ringside.
JBL: "Hello, King. Hello, Queen."
Michael Cole: "Didn't you learn your lesson already about trash-talking wrestling announcers, cowboy?"
Rey wins clean with a 619 against the best three minute wrestler in the business. He also kicks JBL in the mouth for good measure. I'm assuming the JBL face-turn is off. Rey can bring the star power, and JBL can bring the promos.
Kid Rock will be at WrestleMania.
Undertaker does a basic Taker promo about his match with Shawn Michaels, then Michaels does a hell of a promo that uses all the best of WWE's production's values. It's the best thing on the show, and maybe the best thing in the WrestleMania build-up so far.
If Santino Morella beats Mickie James with one hand behind his back, he's man enough to compete for the crown of Miss WrestleMania. The guy has a hard enough time working matches with both hands.
The other Divas fix it so he loses anyway.
Jerry Lawler calls out Chris Jericho next week on Raw. The better option is on free TV.
Triple H faces Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase. Let's see, I've seen WrestleMania main events like John Cena vs. Edge, Big Show vs. Edge, and now Triple H vs. Randy Orton. Why didn't the NFL have the Pittsburgh Steelers face the Arizona Cardinals in an exhibition game the week before the Super Bowl? I bet ratings would have shot through the roof for the Super Bowl then.
Cody Rhodes, the third Horseman, climbs out from under the ring. The Horseman handcuff Triple H to the ropes. Orton goes for the sledgehammer to cave the Game's skull in, but Stephanie H runs down.
No! Get back!
The WWE Head of Creative begs Orton not to ruin her 'Mania main event.
Legacy chases Stephanie in the ring, where Orton catches her. They milk Triple H begging Orton not to do it, but finally he DDTs her.
Crazy-eyed Orton goes for the sledgehammer, but he can't decide whether to cave in the skull of the Mr. or the Mrs. He puts the sledgehammer down and taunts the handcuffed Triple H, then clocks him one with the sledgehammer as the show goes off the a
This is a hell of an angle. The only thing that hurts it is the stuff that came before in previous weeks. This was enough by itself to drive a WrestleMania main event.
FINAL THOUGHTS (7.5): John Cena's program with Edge and Big Show is still too silly, but tonight's work reversed the trend of over-the-rop nonsense with Triple H and Randy Orton. They executed a strong, clear babyface/heel angle where fans want to see the villain get his, an dwill feel like they missed something if they don't buy in. Orton's timing and pro wrestling acting was tremendous here. Ric Flair and Chris Jericho did everything there was to do with their angle, and their execution also was top-notch. I also liked Shawn Michaels's video promo. That was one of those things WWE does that no one else can touch. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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