MITCHELL'S TAKE
MITCHELL: Whatever Happened To Bad Wrestlers? Every silver lining has its cloud
Oct 7, 2008 - 4:46:52 PM |
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By Bruce Mitchell, Torch columnist
It's a dull time for wrestling.
WWE has had the same eight or nine wrestlers on the main event carousel for ten years now. We've seen how these same eight or nine guys talk, we've seen how they walk, we've seen how they face off against each other as faces, we've seen how they face off against each as heels, we've even seen how they face off against each other as faces who don't like other faces. We've seen them get chokeslammed and Sweet Chin Music superkicked, and STF'd and Pedigree'd and Bombed. We've seen them in cages, in cells, in chambers, on tables, climbing ladders, and swinging chairs. We've seen them back down to Mr. McMahon, to The Game, to The Undertaker, carry John Cena, get carried by Shawn Michaels, we've seen how they walk funny after the match, we've seen it, over and over.
About the only thing new about WWE is how skinny they are now, well, you know, except the chosen ones...
Sure WWE has got all those new acts, either black guys or sons of old stars, they're halfway pushing halfway to the top. One might leap high and another might throw heavier kicks, but they pretty much wrestle alike and sound alike and look alike and Triple H can't wait to tell them they don't work hard enough, like he did, to get to the top.
Then there's Ring of Honor. They wrestle a little harder and a little closer to the edge each time out and they're what they are and they are where they are and it isn't going to change.
TNA, they're losers. They never learn from their mistakes, and they'd rather lose then admit that Jeff Jarrett isn't a star and Vince Russo knows nothing about today's pro wrestling. It's really too bad.
And let's consider that word "bad" for a moment, shall we?
Every cloud has a silver lining, and all that. Chris Benoit murders his family? That's a cloud, all right. But the feds and the athletic commissions stepped in, laws were passed, and the wrestlers' lives are now exponentially better.
See, there's that silver lining.
The silver lining in this dull time for wrestling, in the generic way everyone wrestles and talks, is that you just don't see the really bad wrestlers on TV much anymore. There's no Mighty Igor, or Dick the Bruiser, or The Sheik, or all of Bruno Sammartino's buddies (the '70s) stinking up arena shows for months.
There's no (Giant-like) Big John Studd plodding through body-slam challenges, no Warlord or (Bad) Vlad Petrov (Nikita "Treat Him Like a Jobber" Koloff's heel replacement) walking in the ring like they've got concrete shoes on, no Mighty Wilbur or Billy Jack Haynes or buzz-brained Von Erich brothers or Motorcity Madman or AWA (the '80s) or Psycho Sid grimacing or big fat Awesome Kongs or big fat Earthquake and Avalanche or Downtown Bruno or the Spirit of America or Ultimate Warriors.
And there's no Natural Born Thrillers or Above Average Mike Sanders or Big Vito or the Butcher or Ice Train or Reno or NWO Sting or Horace Hogan or WCW Thunder who or much of any of the dozens and dozens trained at WCW's Power Plant (the '90s, too).
Or John Heidenreich or Kenzo Suzuki or the Flying Elvis or Rellik (this century)...
It helps that Jerry Jarrett and Jerry Lawler aren't paying baloney money in Memphis anymore or that dying territories aren't around, much less getting or holding on to TV deals. Most of the featured wrestlers in all three national promotions are making a living wage.
Sure there's the occasional Kute Kip grandfathered in, and The Great Khali is awful, but as awful giants go he's not so bad and he definitely serves a purpose with the little kids he awes.
Also, there's that "You can't wrestle!" thing.
The main thing, though, is that WWE management thinks wrestling is only one way, that sports entertainers should be a certain size, and wrestle a certain way, and have a certain look, and say the lines the way they're written. That precludes bad wrestlers from getting on TV, since if WWE isn't interested in acts (Bryan Danielson, Morishima, Colt Cabana) someone other than they know is good, they sure aren't letting in the cruddy acts either. They have their template for what pro wrestlers are, and it doesn't include bad workers.
It also doesn't include the next Cactus Jack or Dusty Rhodes or Midnight Express with Jim Cornette or Shawn Michaels or Jerry Lawler or the Junkyard Dog or Hulk Hogan.
Because, conversely, every silver lining has its cloud.
Listen to Bruce Mitchell and Wade Keller discuss current events, historical events, wrestling's biggest names, and answer listener questions every weekend for around two hours on the Bruce Mitchell Audio Show at PWTorch.com/members in the Audio Show section. Email: bmitchell51@triad.rr.com.
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