MCNEILL'S TAKE
Stand Up For Rock 'N' Roll: McNEILL previews WWE's 2008 Royal Rumble!
Jan 27, 2008 - 4:23:59 PM |
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By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist
Wake the pets and call the neighbors, it's time for our exclusive Royal Rumble projections!
DISCLAIMER: Projections are based on what the columnist would do if he were booking this event. Projections are not predictions, because this columnist is neither a McMahon nor a Levesque. This preview was sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive a year supply of Hulk Hogan Childrens’ Chewable Vitamins. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing.
Due to the columnist spending another weekend with his girlfriend, this will have to be a snappy, peppy preview.
Chris Jericho vs. John B. Layfield: Two former WWE heavyweight champions meet for the first time in several years in what may end up as the least important match on this card. Projection? This feud must continue until WrestleMania. Therefore, we’re going to have to stretch things out. Bradshaw uses his feet on the ropes to pin Jericho.
Montel V. Porter vs. Ric Flair (Non-Title Match – Flair’s Career On The Line): Flair’s big run to WrestleMania has really fizzled over the past several weeks. The match stipulations give away the finish. Projection? If Matt Hardy can walk in a straight line, he’ll be wrestling M.V.P. at WrestleMania. That makes it set. Hardy appears at ringside at an opportune time, allowing Flair to roll up Montel for the pinfall.
Edge vs. Rey Mysterio (Smackdown Heavyweight Title): The new champ faces the most serious challenge of his latest title reign, as the flashy Rey Mysterio wants a piece of him. Projection? Rey has the champion beat when the Edge-heads run in for the convenient disqualification finish. This feud must continue.
Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy (WWE Heavyweight Title): There is a growing movement behind the scenes in WWE to have Jeff Hardy shoot to the top while the Intercontinental Champion is red hot. The problem is, if WWE is serious about making Hardy the top gun on Raw, Jeff has to win the title at WrestleMania. If not, Jeff can’t win the belt from Orton. Either way, we’re getting the same finish tonight in New York. Projection? After numerous close calls, Orton blocks the Twist of Fate and finally scores the victory with the RKO.
The 2008 Royal Rumble Match: We know twenty-five of the thirty participants in this match. Let’s add five more in the form of Trevor Murdoch, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Super Crazy, Elijah Burke and The Big Show.
Projection? Here’s your order of entry. 1- Hornswoggle, 2- The Miz, 3-Finlay, 4- Trevor Murdoch, 5- Shawn Michaels, 6- Chuck Palumbo, 7- Jamie Noble, 8- Triple H, 9- Elijah Burke, 10- John Morrison, 11- Big Show, 12- Mick Foley, 13- Great Khali, 14- Tommy Dreamer, 15- Snitsky, 16- Kane, 17- Umaga, 18- Hacksaw Jim Duggan, 19- Carlito Colon, 20- Cody Rhodes, 21- Mark Henry, 22- Undertaker, 23- Santino Marella, 24- Batista, 25- Super Crazy, 26- Hardcore Holly, 27- Big Daddy V, 28- C.M. Punk, 29- Shelton Benjamin, 30- Ken Kennedy.
Triple H dominates until he gets tossed by Big Show, with a possible assist from Regal. Hunter swings by later with a sledgehammer to get back at Show. Michaels nearly goes wire-to-wire until Ken Kennedy dumps him. We get down to Batista, Undertaker, Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin and Big Daddy V for the finish. Undertaker finally dumps Big Daddy V over the top, only to get finished off by a Batista clothesline. Big Dave wins the Royal Rumble for the second time in four years.
Aftermath: We go to No Way Out on February 17th, where we get an Elimination Chamber match with Ken Kennedy, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Chris Jericho, JBL and Big Show all battling to earn a WWE title shot at WrestleMania. We also get a big Edge vs. Rey Mysterio no-disqualification rematch, and Batista defending his Number One Contender spot against The Undertaker.
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Pat McNeill of Fairfax, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. If anyone would like to own the Washington Redskins, please feel free to buy them from Dan Snyder so Mr. McNeill can see another Redskins Super Bowl in his lifetime. His longer "McNeill Factor" columns appear in the Torch Newsletter. Pat McNeill’s first book, "The Tables All Were Broken", is still available from many fine booksellers.
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