MCNEILL'S TAKE
Land of 10,000 Tacks: McNEILL previews TNA Turning Point
Dec 2, 2007 - 2:43:42 PM |
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by Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist
Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA pay-per-view preview column.
DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Vince %$@&*!ing Russo. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive a supply of baked goods from Sara Lee. Sara Lee bagels and muffins are a perfect and healthy way to start your mornings. Nobody does it like Sara Lee. High performance luggage with style and quality, Pathfinder is best of the best for experienced travelers. Furnished by Paragon Luggage. And remember, four Whammys will bring tears to your eyes, and put you out of the game. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had booking control over Total Nonstop Action.
A press release that came out last week from our friends in Nashville listed Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, Booker T, Christian Cage, Team 3-D and Abyss. That probably came as news to Samoa Joe, who is technically the top babyface in TNA going into tonight's show in Orlando.
On the Live Pre-Show: This will likely be the pretaped "Road to Turning Point" special, featuring the Abyss vs. Black Reign match from last month's "Genesis" pay-per-view.
Angelina Love & Velvet Sky vs. ODB & Roxxi Leveaux: You can be as skeptical as you want, but I think the Knockout division can only get better now that we've given the job girls stripper names. Projection? ODB and Roxxi can't get along. Kip James attacks ODB, leading to Angelina Love scoring the pin on ODB. And the feud must continue.
Eric Young vs. James Storm (w/ Jacqueline): People on the TNA booking team can't get enough of Eric Young. That is another way that the TNA booking team differs from wrestling fandom. Projection? Storm wins the match, Young wins the postmatch drinking contest.
Feast Or Fired Battle Royal: This is the stupidest idea for a gimmick match in recent TNA history. It would be nice if the company did something to explain why on earth a wrestler would risk being fired in order to participate in this match. While I have no idea which wrestler has asked for his release, this would be a good chance to find out. Projection? Who's on the roster who isn't on the show? There's the Voodoo Kin Mafia, Triple X, LAX, Lance Hoyt, Jimmy Rave, Raven, Petey Williams, The Steiner Brothers, Ron Killings and Sonjay Dutt. Rave gets the X division title match. Christopher Daniels gets the tag title shot for Triple X, Homicide gets his paws on the World Title shot. Killings get the fourth envelope and gets "fired".
Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong (TNA Women's Title): Amazingly, the TNA Knockout belt is now the third most important title in the promotion. It is obviously that more people are interested in the Women's title than in Jay Lethal's X division belt. Projection? Gail is game, but there's too much Kong, as the Awesome One wins with a power bomb in our final TNA title change of 2007.
Jay Lethal & Motor City Machineguns vs. Johnny Devine & Team 3-D (Six Man Tables Match): The X division has been fodder for the former Dudleys, who have been fighting at even strength against six to eight guys in each part of this battle. Projection? There might as well be something coming out of this match, so let's have the former Dudleys score the victory, ending with Johnny Devine putting Jay Lethal through a table.
Abyss & Rhino vs. Black Reign & Rellik (10,000 Tacks Match): Despite the fact Abyss already beat both heels in a handicap match, we're having a tag match tonight. There are thumbtacks involved, just because it's Abyss. Projection? Abyss chokeslams Jobber, I mean, Johnny Stamboli into a pile of thumbtacks for the win, but Judas Mesias comes back to attack the Monster after the match.
Booker T & Kaz vs. Christian Cage & Bobby Roode (Match created so Booker and Christian don't have to job): The original idea of Booker feuding with Christian doesn't seem so hot, now that both wrestlers have to build momentum after their respective losses at Genesis last month. Projection? The Book scores the victory over Bobby Roode as Kaz and Cage brawl at ringside.
Samoa Joe & The Old Outsiders vs. Kurt Angle & The Angle Alliance: For some reason, the winner of the fall is going to be TNA champion. If this sounds like a copout way to have Sting or the mystery man capture the belt by Kevin Nash, well, it is. Projection? Joe does the heavy lifting for his side, allowing Hall and Nash to pick their spots. The finish comes when Christian Cage runs out and provides a distraction, so that Hall can pin Tomko after a big boot from Nash.
On Thursday, Christian Cage introduces Hall and Nash as the new Christian Coalition. Hall and Nash seem noncommittal, but they would like a shot at the Angle Alliance.
Aftermath: Next month is Final Resolution with Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage, Styles and Tomko against Hall and Nash, and Jay Lethal vs. Johnny Devine.
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Pat McNeill of Fairfax, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. His condolences go out to the friends and family of Sean Taylor. His "McNeill Factor" column appears weekly in the Torch Newsletter.
Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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