Just throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Is there nothing that I can say
to make you change your mind?
- Genesis (1986)
Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA pay-per-view preview column.
DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Vince %$@&*!ing Russo. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive the Pathfinder Revolution LT wheeled luggage set. High performance luggage with style and quality, Pathfinder is best of the best for experienced travelers. Furnished by Paragon Luggage. And remember, if you land on "Bankrupt", you lose your cash but not your prizes, 'cause once you buy a prize, it's yours to keep. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had booking control over Total Nonstop Action.
Yes, TNA bumped up their rating for this week's episode of Impact of Spike TV to a 1.1. The fact that Impact received its first 1.1 rating twenty-two months ago and haven't done much to improve their television audience since January 2006 isn't a big deal down in Nashvlle. What IS a big deal is that a former world championship will be debuting on Sunday as Sting's tag team partner, and there's a decent chance this tag team partner is about to capture the TNA heavyweight title. Let's go to the projections!
On the Live Pre-Show: This will likely be the pretaped "Road to Genesis" special which is airing on Spike TV Saturday night. There may be a great Ultimate X match from Bound for Glory in here somewhere.
Motor City Machineguns vs. Team 3-D: The ongoing struggle between the exciting X division and the former tag team legends reaches a fever point in what TNAwrestling.com sees as the least important match on the show. Projection? The former Dudleys get most of the offense until Sabin rolls up Brother Devon after a high-low double team. Don't worry. This feud isn't done yet.
Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode (w/ Our Ms. Brooks): Wow. Look how far Samoa Joe and Robert Roode have come over the past two years. Okay, you can stop looking now. Projection? Samoa Joe, pissed off at being trapped in the midcard, defeats Roode clean with the Muscle Buster. Roode finally fires Tracy Brooks after the match, allowing her to finally turn babyface.
Abyss vs. Black Reign w/ James Mitchell (Shop Of Horrors Match): Come to think of it, we haven't seen Abyss thrown on thumbtacks or stabbed with broken glass recently. Projection? Dustin Rhodes' bodysuit comes in handy, as it prevents Abyss from cutting him open with sharp objects, but a Black Hole Slam should wrap this baby up.
Kaz Kazarian vs. Christian Cage (Ladder Match): Styles and Cage are Big Wrestling Stars, so they get to be on Genesis in a semi-important match because the real pay-per-view matches got used up Thursday night. Projection? Sure, Kazarian deserves to break through the glass ceiling, but we haven't been given nearly enough reason to care about poor Frankie. Christian wins as the two wrestlers try to steal the show.
Gail Kim vs. Angel Williams vs. ODB vs. Roxxi Leveaux (TNA Women's Title): There have been a whole lot women around TNA this past month, but not a lot more in the way of character development. You have to like the Voodoo Kin Mafia acting as Roxxi's managers. It's a good role for them. Projection? Gail pins Angel Williams with a tornado DDT to hold on to the Women's title. Amazing Kong drops by to beat up the survivors.
A.J. Styles & Travis Tomko vs. The Steiner Brothers (TNA Tag Team Titles): The new champs are a good team, even if there seems to be an issue over who the team captain is. Scott Steiner, if nothing else, is still a really fun promo guy. Projection? It is way too soon for another tag title change. Christian comes to ringside and serves as a distraction, allowing Styles to pin Rick Steiner. Scott Steiner vs. Christian is on deck for next month.
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt (TNA X Division Title): Hey, remember how there was supposed to be more time for the X division after Impact went to two hours? Projection? Lethal gets the win thanks to the inspiration of the lovely So Cal Val, who cheers Black Machismo on from ringside. Dutt turns heel after the match and smashes Lethal with the tambourine.
Kurt Angle & Kevin Nash vs. Sting & Mystery Partner (TNA World Heavyweight Title): For some reason, the winner of the fall is going to be TNA champion. If this sounds like a copout way to have Sting or the mystery man capture the belt by Kevin Nash, well, it is. Projection? It'll be Booker Huffman teaming with Sting in this match. Sting and Booker have the advantage for the first ten minutes or so, then we watch Karen Angle's fiendish plan unfold. Karen tried to interfere, only to be blocked by Sharmelle. Bobby Roode and Chris Harris hit the ring and it is four on two. Jeff Jarrett runs out to make the save, but bashes Sting with the guitar, allowing Kurt Angle to pin the Stinger and keep the title.
After the match, Karen Angle introduces the men assigned to protect her husband's title reign. Bobby Roode, Chris Harris, Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash. The Next Wrestling Olympians. As for Stinger's response, and where Scott Hall stands on the issue, all that can wait until Thursday. TNA will have a new heel stable to play with, and Samoa Joe has a list of targets on his way to the TNA title.
Aftermath: Next month is Turning Point with Kurt Angle vs. Booker T, Sting against Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe vs. Scott Hall, and Eric Young, James Storm and Jacqueline against Roode, Harris and Rain.
*** Pat McNeill of Fairfax, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. His Clemson Tigers are one win away from going to the ACC Championship football game. His "McNeill Factor" column appears weekly in the Torch Newsletter.
LATEST PRO WRESTLING TORCH NEWSLETTER #1039 (17 PAGES)
This issue begins with a cover story by Wade Keller who attended Brock Lesnar's first UFC victory on Saturday night in the semi-main event in front of a record-setting crowd in his hometown. Keller's BBL looks at Lesnar's place in MMA and in what ways he seems more comfortable than ever... Bruce Mitchell's Memo examines the dilemma of Chris Benoit and the Hall of Fame... Sean Radican reviews the two latest TNA DVD releases... In-depth coverage of the TNA Hard Justice PPV including Keller's match report with star ratings and the newsletter-exclusive Roundtable Reviews... Jason Powell's "Page 2 Buzz" with scoops and insider analysis... WWE Newswire, TNA Newswire, and ROH Newswire with insider news, big story analysis, and notebook tidbits... Plus Keller's reports on Raw, Smackdown, and Impact, the Top 5 Stories of the Week, and more....
