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McNEILL's BLOG FACTOR: Who's To Blame For The Nick Hogan Fiasco?
May 23, 2008 - 4:27:00 PM |
By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist
Hell Comes To Blogtown. America's favorite right-wing attorney thinks way too much about pro wrasslin'. Sometimes he shares those thoughts with you. Updated on a semi-regular basis.
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Updated Friday, May 23, 4:27 p.m.
We've all heard the tapes of teenager "Nasty" Nick Bollea cyring and begging for his mommy on his first night in the pokey. It's terrible in there. He's locked in his own cell. He can't make friends with the other inmates, because prison officials are (rightfully) concerned that some of them won't be so friendly with the young man. The cell's half the size of his bathroom. There's no booze, no fast cars, no teenage girls and no weed. Not even a window.
Sure, The Hulkster told him to man up, which is good advice for any unaccompanied minor in prison. Somehow, during this media circus, we have completely lost track of who's to blame for this mess. I am here to point the finger at the two people ultimately responsible for Nick's predicament: Wade Keller and Jason Powell.
Let me take you back to the spring of 2002. In editions #702 and #703 of the Pro Wrestling Torch weekly newsletter, Wade and Jason put together a two-part parody of a Hulk Hogan reality show, based on "The Osbornes." Hogan, a big fan of pro wrestling's insider press, took the idea and ran with it, giving us the "Hogan Knows Best" reality show, and turning Nick Hogan from the spoiled check of a C-list celebrity to a C-list celebrity in his own right.
Without the exposure from that show, maybe Nick isn't able to show off for the cameras. Maybe Nick develops some common sense. No drag racing, no crash, no hospital stay for John Graziano, and no prison sentence. Maybe.
As the great Cherilyn Sarkisian once sang, "Words are like wespons. They wound sometimes." If we could turn back time, maybe we could find a way to save Nick Bollea. Meanwhile, all of us columnists should strive to be more careful in our choice of words.
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Updated Tuesday, February 5, 10:37 p.m.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.0): There were two things that really stood out about last night's episode of WWE Raw. Naturally, the first one was the segment where Mr. McMahon invited Hornswoggle to join the "Kiss My Ass" club. There was a funny moment leading up to the in-ring segment, where McMahon had the guy buff his rear end. But then it got interesting.
The punchline was Finlay persuading Hornswoggle to bite Vince on the buttocks. For those of you who didn't read Mick Foley's latest book, this was the exact spot Foley suggested that Terry Funk do with McMahon in order to get ECW over. Obviously, giving the bit to the happy leprechaun was one more way to stick it to Mick Foley. But that's not all. The reason Jim Ross had to work overtime to sell the spot was that Vince McMahon didn't show any pain. Let me repeat that. Vince McMahon refused to sell getting bit in the ass. Why? Who knows? But it really put a damper on what was supposed to the creative team's "funny" moment. Fans should also thank those in attendance in Austin for letting Mr. McMahon know what they thought of his lame attempt at humor.
The other thing that stuck out on Raw was the absence of wrestling. Outside of the main event, the other matches were squashes with very little at stake. The six-man was good, but not great. It is also worth noting how dead the WWE brand split is. Mark Henry came over from Smackdown to work with John Cena and no one even blinked. The good news for next week is the prospect of Jeff Hardy against Shawn Michaels. A mild thumbs up.
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Updated Tuesday, January 29, 1:32 p.m.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (7.0): All the highlights on Raw happened in the first hour. We found out that Cena is wrestling Orton at No Way Out, and that WWE is doing a Raw Elimination Chamber match in Las Vegas. If you missed the second hour, you didn't miss a whole lot.
The wrestling highlights were a couple of very serviceable tag team matches. Triple H has obviously adopted the old Dusty Rhodes formula of standing on the apron and waiting for the hot tag. A little light comedy and a pinfall loss for Yellow Teeth Snitsky never hurt anybody.
The tag team main event was unexceptional. The Jericho-JBL feud feels like it belongs in a different promotion than the interaction between Orton and Jeff Hardy. Probably the highlight of that segment was JBL bailing out on Orton and leaving him for John Cena. That, combined with the comments in the DX interview, sets up the second straight month of "every man for himself".
The Mike Adamle Experiment isn't going well, and we're only two nights in.
WWE is gambling by making No Way Out into a mini-WrestleMania. It's understandable that the company wants to keep the momentum it picked up from the Rumble on Sunday, but Hardy and the return of Cena opens up a whole new set of main event possibilities for Raw. There are fourteen major shows per year to fill, so you wouldn't think they'd be in such a rush. Thumbs up overall.
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Updated Tuesday, November 27, 3:42 p.m.
WWE Raw 11/26/07 - 7.0 out of 10:
Raw was built around two fresh faces this week. Ric Flair and Chris Jericho provided a nice change for a show that had been built around the same three babyfaces for all of 2007. Flair and Jericho teaming up to get under the skin of the anti-charismatic Randy Orton was predictable, but fun. There are some obvious flaws in the entire Flair retirement storyline, (and Bruce Mitchell did a fine job of pointing those out in his VIP reviews of the show) but it was a nice moment for Ric Flair in his hometown and an acceptable way to kick off The Nature Boy's last major Raw storyline.
The downer here was the silliness involving Hornswoggle and Carlito, which seriously screwed up the fell-good vibe of the evening's wrestling show. It baffles me that WWE can't tell the difference between Looney Tunes gags that work on television, and Looney Tunes gags that don't work. This was horrible, and the entire Vince McMahon-Hornswoggle story arc completely ceased to make sense weeks ago. Have Gewirtz rent the Austin Powers trilogy, and learn how to book the Evil Genius/Evil Midget storylines. Then get back to us.
Despite having to drag Santino Marella through a lousy wrestling match, Chris Jericho got over. Santino needs to become a full-time manager and spend weekdays working in OVW. While storylines and angles are certainly important, WWE has to put some effort into putting decent wrestling matches on television. Gene Snitsky was in the best match on the show, I [excrete] you not, and that should never happen on a two-hour wrestling program. Thumbs up for a good show, but there's room for improvement as WWE heads into its money season.
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Updated Tuesday, November 20, 1:42 p.m.
WWE Raw 11/19/07 - 5.5 out of 10:
Poor Randy Orton's never going to get his Torch delivered to him at this rate.
The big story on Monday night's episode of Raw was the return of Chris Jericho. WWE probably should have pulled the trigger on Jericho's debut a few weeks ago. The part I liked about Jericho's segment was that he had his pulse on the crowd's reaction, and did an excellent job of covering the portions of his speech the crowd wasn't reacting too, while milking the audience pop successfully at certain points. It was also interesting to note how skinny Jericho is by main event wrestler standards.
Not that it matters. By being absent for two years, Jericho is a fresh face. WWE fans are certainly clamoring for someone other than the current top four on top of Raw. We'll see what sort of boost Y2J provides to ratings and buyrates in future weeks.
The Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga match was pretty good before Gene Snitsky came down to ruin the finish. A lot of people are upset with WWE over Snitsky's latest push, but if the promotion needs someone to feed to Triple H for a couple of months, it might as well be someone who had no chance of ever getting over again.
There were also two segments on Monday night's show which might tell you why we're not giving out more points for Raw. There was Hornswoggle vs. Carlito. Outside of watching Finlay wallop Carlito, there was nothing enjoyable about this. You can feel the air going out of the live crowd every time Hornswoggle appears these days. Also, the ladies' match was dreadful. Thumbs in the middle.
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Updated Tuesday, October, 1:59 p.m.
WWE Raw 10/29/07 - 4.0 out of 10:
Good news for Chris Jericho. The former undisputed champion picked the right night to stay away from Raw. We had two hours of wrestling with only one decent match, a lot of material that wasn't entertaining, and what looks a rerun of a DX versus Vince McMahon feud that didn't work last year.
The highlight of the program was, of all things, Jeff Hardy teaming up with young D.H. Smith in a tag team match. Davey Boy's son still needs a lot of polish, but if he's wrestling on television every week, he's bound to improve. Carlito wrestled like he was actually interested in the match. Jeff has become the highlight of this program every Monday night, and WWE ought to strike while the iron's hot.
The rest of the show featured too much of the material which has kept wrestling fans away. Mick Foley had fun refereeing that awful Hornswoggle segment, but WWE could be using their former champion better. I'd have to check, but I don't remember Bruno Sammartino or Randy Savage officiating any midget matches after falling off the top of the card. The Diva search is finally over, thank goodness. By taking so long to have Steve Austin get to Santino Marella, WWE runs the risk of turning the amusing Santino babyface, much like the promotion did a decade ago when Austin ran down the absent Bret Hart every week. Maybe that's the point. Thumbs down.
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Updated Tuesday, September 25, 9:09 a.m.
WWE Raw on 9/24/07 - (4.5 out of 10):
Well, this settles it. Triple H is the new Norma Desmond. He is big. It's the other wrestlers that got small. Fortunately, The Game was able to find someone else who's big, and that's Mr. McMahon. As always when WWE is in crisis, Vince McMahon entered the ring on Monday night, all jacked up, to show everyone how it's done. Best of all, Triple H finally got to put someone over. Goodness knows he had wanted to since his return for injury, but he hadn't found anyone worthy of the rub.
The John Cena segment, where the champ and Hornswoggle worked together to outsmart Coachman, may have been predictable, but it wasn't a bad payoff. What was disturbing was the babyface cruiserweight champion surprising Melina in the shower. Yes, Melina's character is a bitch, but that didn't make the scene any less creepy. Nor does it explain why a WWE camera was hanging around in the ladies' shower.
Ron Simmons wrestled on Raw. I know the roster is thin, but...damn! The most athletic contest of the night was the mixed tag team match with Jeff Hardy and Candice against Beth Phoenix and Shelton Benjamin. It was good to see a healthy Hardcore Holly, but it wasn't good to see his match against Cody Rhodes. It was also good to see The Rock, even if he was just there to hype his new movie.
Thumbs in the middle, slightly down.
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Updated Wednesday, September 5, 8:06 p.m.
WWE Raw on 9/3/07 - (6.5 out of 10): For some reason, we got more wrestling on Raw this week. That could be due to the holiday weekend, or due to the reshuffling caused by the suspension. Either way, it was an improvement.
There are probably a bunch of wrestlers on the WWE roster who would like to be buried the way Umaga got buried on the way to his suspension. Jeff Hardy wins a flukish victory over the big guy and the Bulldozer gets to look like a legitimate monster for standing up to the bully Triple H and his sledgehammer. The Hardy-Umaga match was the in-ring highlight of the show. There were lots of subtle things to enjoy on this epsiode, including McMahon rolling his eyes after Coach talked about how reliable he was, Daivari's "Sonny and Cher" style duet with Jillian Hall, the build for an actual tag team title match on pay-per-view, and Santino's Borat-like insults of the state of Ohio.
C.M. Punk's video package was a nice touch, and lent some steam to Wade Keller's specualtion of Punk being the illegitimate McMahon child. Whoever advised Jerry Lawler to wear T-shirts on camera at the announce desk should probably reconsider. That isn't a good look for a King, or a color commentator, for that matter.
This was far from the worst Raw ever. Thumbs up.
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ECW on SciFi 9/4/07 - (7.0 out of 10): If you're an older fans, the weekly ECW television show might remind you of the old USWA weekly television programs. There were only a handful of top guys, and feuds used to take forever to play out. For an example, go find the old tapes of the 1990 Dallas feud of Chris Adams & Toni Adams against Lady Blossom and Steve Austin. They wrestled in various combinations every week, and it took all summer to play out.
C.M. Punk and John Morrison finally got their big, long match, going about seventeen minutes on ECW last night. And you know what? It was great. What was even better was the crowd reaction in Cincinnati for this match. I don't know how much sound sweetening was involved, but this felt like a big moment on a show that never seems to have enough big moments. Making Punk earn his way to the ECW title, instead of just handing it to him back in June, was the right move. It is a shame that it took Morrison's (alleged) suspension to rock the C-show like that. Morrison did a fine job on his promos this week, and he's obviously starting to flesh out the character a little bit.
The rift within Extreme Expose and the ongoing war between The Boogeyman and Big Daddy V are playing out well. They'd be throwaway storylines on either Raw or Smackdown, but here they'll get time to develop. Kudos for the goofy clips of Balls Mahoney on the Stan Lee superhero show. I was almost tempted to watch it. Almost.
VIP Members can hear me discuss the Ric Flair situation with a special guest on this week "Real Deal w/ Pat McNeill" audio show.
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Updated Friday, August 24, 10:59 a.m.
TNA Impact for 8/23.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (4.0): This wasn't as stupid as some recent episodes of Impact. However, there's no way that TNA can deliver two hours of Impact every week with this lousy writing team in place. They should be concentrating on basic wrestling angles and letting their talnet do the talking.
Want some examples? Okay. After weeks of teasing dissension to sucker the announcers and Samoa Joe before the last pay-per-view. The Bickering Angles teased dissension again on this show, with Karen crying over possibly having to wrestle, and it was another ruse. Who would have thunk it?
Team 3D teased that they were sorry about their heel actions, but it was all a ruse so they could come out and beat down the Steiners. Shocking. Who would have thunk it?
The Christian Coalition teased dissension, and that Christian was staying at home and wouldn't go to the Impact Zone. Turns out it was all a ruse to lure Samoa Joe into an ambush. Shocking. Who would have thunk it?
The PacMan and Killings beatdown was lame, both for the reasons Wade Keller talked about and for the fact that ESPN won't come around the Impact Zone again unless Adam "PacMan" Jones actually wrestles a match. Of course, that's the one thing PacMan Jones is not contractually able to deliver for TNA. It was also a mistake to talk about how Karen Angle probably deserved a beating from the Steienr Brothers.
On the other hand, the James Storm video and the Judas Mesias/James Mitchell segment were short and effective. Thumbs down for an utterly predictable hour of TNA Impact.
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Updated Wednesday, July 18, 6:36 p.m.
WWE Raw Review for 7/16.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.0): Wow. That opening segment featuring Jerry Lawler facing off with King Booker got a lot of heat and built anticipation for, of all things, a match between the old King and the slightly younger King Booker. Nice work. Then we never heard about it again. It would be one thing if WWE had a slow build planned, but what we saw was nothing like a slow build.
For the second week in a row, Jeff Hardy got over with the Raw faithful. Of course, it helps when one is in the ring with Regal and Shelton Benjamin. The Charismatic Enigma's reward for all this hard work is, of course, the opportunity to work with Umaga one more time. The setup for Sunday's bullrope match between Dusty and Randy Orton was good stuff, but now I'm confused. Wasn't Dusty supposed to be the setup guy who got his son over?
It is good that WWE tied up the loose end with Ken Kennedy and Super Crazy, but the Big K needs to start dialing it up in the ring if he wants to get a main event push. Then again, he might still be hurt. The Cena-Lashley debate was one-sided, but at least Lashley wasn't handicapped by the crappy material the WWE writers give Cena. Thumbs up.
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Updated Monday, July 16, 9:49 p.m.
TNA Victory Road 2007 Review
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.5): This was a good show. That's what happens when TNA cuts back on the stipulation matches and silliness to let the wrestlers showcase their abilities.
Sure, there was some silliness at Victory Road. The Voodoo Queen bit died because of a lack of interest in VKM, and a lack of interest in Christy Hemme. The Orlando fans had a good time, but the number of chant monkeys in the crowd is growing, which is probably why TNA is looking to leave town more often.
But the good mostly outweighed the bad. The segments where Kurt Angle beat down random X division guys were fun, unless you happened to be one of the random X division guys in question. The 10 Man Gauntlet Match, like all the Ultimate X matches, was good except for the dangerous bumps, like Elix Skipper somehow getting himself wishboned over the ring apron and that insane diamond cutter spot from the scaffold. The Triple X reunion is fine except that we've had months of Daniels talking about how insignificant the X title is.
The other highlight was Team 3D actually breaking a sweat in the main event against Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle. In another tremendous of TNA booking, the former Dudleys actually had the upper hand on the two top wrestlers in the promotion when they were attacked and taken out by the half-crippled Steiner Brothers. Assuming Scott Steiner ever gets doctor's clearance, the buildup for that Steiners/3D match has been pretty strong. For those people complaining about how long the Joe vs. Angle feud has been running, these are the right two guys to do a long-term feud.
Also, there was an Abyss match without thumbtacks or broken glass, and it was good. Thumbs up for the evening.
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Updated Wednesday, July 11, 3:45 p.m.
WWE Raw Review for 7/9
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (4.5): This show felt odd, as if WWE's management and creative departments were somehow distracted from giving the program their full time and attention this week.
Still, there was some fun stuff on the program this week, like the ongoing double turn with Umaga and Santino Marella. The fans are taking to Umaga because he likes to beat people up and nearly kill them. Makes perfect sense to me. The backlash against Marella started soon after his debut, and WWE decided to start the double switch by having Santino woo fair Maria. You see, in WWE World, guys who are actually smooth around attractive women are heels. Guys who behave like idiots around attractive women (like, you know, showing them pictures of their junk in a tanning salon) are babyfaces because they keep it real.
John Cena made a drive-by visit, which was fine. It was interesting that WWE chose to make Jeff Hardy the mystery partner for Bobby Lashley. It make for a decent match, but having Hardy stand next to Lashley sure spotlighted the disparity in the two wrestlers' appearances, if you know what I mean.
The Dusty Rhodes- Randy Orton segment showed everything that Dusty still has it when it comes to cutting a money promo. The one good thing that has come out of ending the split brand pay-per-views is that each major show now has a deeper undercard.
Is Triple H coming back any time soon? I wish they'd give us a hint or something.
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ECW Tuesday Night Heat Review for 7/10.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.0): This wasn't a bad hour of television. WWE started off the ECW hour on a strong note by finally coming up with new entrance music. "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" just wasn't cutting the mustard any more, and the generic music from the TNN days wasn't doing the program any favors. Another positive was the video package for Tommy Dreamer. The short personality clips are good fun for those of us who like being reminded of the old promotion, or the fans who have no idea who Tommy Dreamer is.
If you noticed a trend tonight, all the matches featured "original" ECW wrestlers taking the pipe from the wrestlers WWE actually wants to push. The CM Punk-Stevie Richards match was pretty good, but it ought to be good given how many times these two have gone at it on ECW television. The reintroduction of Viscera as Big Daddy V adds something to his character while ridding us of one of the stupider wrestling names of the past fifteen years. Let's give this a mild thumbs up.
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ROH Supercard of Honor 2 DVD Review
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (9.0): When you have a huge show in the home city of WrestleMania on WrestleMania weekend, that's one thing. When you title the show "Supercard of Honor II", that's another. You see, last year's Supercard of Honor was the runaway choice for Major Wrestling Show of the Year. It may have been the best wrestling show in the history of Ring of Honor, and that's saying something. No matter how talented you are, it is difficult to produce a sequel that's as good as the original.
The main event six man tag was almost as good as last year's Dragon Gate match. There's no way around it, especially since last year's match had the advantage of being "first". The one criticism of this match, that there wasn't a storyline behind it, is baffling. Look, CIMA's heading up one team and Dragon Kid's heading up the other team. That's about all you need to know. It's as much as we knew about the Dragon Gate contingent last year.
The BJ Whitmer-Jimmy Jacobs cage match is a good barometer of how many Ring of Honor shows you've watched, which is why there were so many video packages devoted to it. The feud that wouldn't die finally came to an end. BJ Whitmer, the Tommy Dreamer of Ring of Honor, is an acquired taste, which is why so many of the Detroit fans were cheering their guts out for Jimmy Jacobs. This was a bona fide violent spectacle which capped off the longest midcard feud in ROH history, and opened a new chapter in the "Jimmy loves Lacey" saga.
The other highlights included Nigel McGuinness clotheslining TORCH mascot Johnny Fairplay somewhere into the next century and Roderick Strong's decisive victory over former stablemate Austin Aries. Contrary to some opinions, the latest round of roster shakeups isn't going to affect the quality of the main events. But it is going to take a little while for ROH to build up the bottom half of its roster again.
This was an excellent wrestling show. Go check it out.
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Updated Friday, June 22, 2:45 p.m.
TNA Impact 6/21
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.0): This was a respectable outing for TNA Impact. Now that Kurt Angle (finally) has the TNA title, he's turned heel. That's not a bad thing. Neither is the fact that Angle looks a lot healthier and less bloated than he did a year ago. What is bad is that Kurt's back to what's he comfortable doing, playing the comedy heel role. There's a reason people in WWE kept trying to move Angle back toward being a serious wrestler. There are already enough goofs atop the Total Nonstop Action. If you need a goofy heel, Christian Cage is RIGHT THERE.
After a month of watching WWE flounder through the setup of their major shows, TNA did a fine job of letting everyone know what to expect at Victory Road in three weeks. The problem is, this show still feels rushed in a way that ECW television, which also lasts an hour, does not.
Thumbs slightly up.
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ECW Tuesday Night Heat 6/19
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.0): There were more matches on Tuesday night's one-hour ECW television show than there were on the two-hour Monday night episode of Raw. And if you skipped Raw, this was a particularly interesting event because you got to see all the "highlights" of the continuing Dead Crazy Vince storyline.
This show didn't have any really good matches, but it had a focus to it. Anyone who sat through the hour knows that CM Punk and Chris Benoit are battling for the vacant ECW title on Sunday at the Vengeance pay-per-view. In theory, that should bring in some of the ECW diehards. Benoit and Elijah Burke had a fine television match. None of the other four matches were given any significant television time.
Kudos to whoever decided that Boogeyman should wrestle for fifteen seconds. Maybe we can get a thirty second cap on all future matches. Also, it will be riveting to watch Kelly and Brooke fight over The Miz, especially with all the great acting that's sure to be involved. Thumbs in the middle.
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Updated Friday, May 25, 6:45 p.m.
ECW Tuesday Night Heat Review 5/22.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (4.0): And now, a recap of ECW on Sci-Fi in haiku form:
Tommy Dreamer's here
The "O" on his black T-shirt
Are his total wins
Mr. Tuesday Night
Is there to put Snitsky over
Poor Rob Van Dam
Two long Raw recaps
Mediocre heels in action
I must have dozed off
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Ring Of Honor "Fifth Year Festival – Chicago" DVD: After finishing up this DVD last night, I can recommend it both from a wrestling standpoint and a Ring of Honor storyline standpoint.
In many ways, this show is the end of an era. It is the final time Samoa Joe appeared for Ring of Honor in the United States. It also marks the beginning of the Briscoe Brothers reassuming the mantle of ROH's top tag team. The battle between the Lords of the Ring and the Briscoes was a potential Match of the Year candidate before getting bogged down near the end.
As violent as the Colt Cabana-Jimmy Jacobs match much have seemed at the time, we've all seen worse since that, including an incredibly bloody death match in Orlando a couple weeks ago. The finish to the main event was the right move at the time, preserving the potential Samoa Joe vs. Morishima rematch while moving Nigel McGuinness toward an ROH title shot and cutting off the departing Samoa Joe and Homicide from the ROH title picture.
With all the other recent ROH releases flooding the DVD market this weekend, this is still a show to remember, and a show to watch.
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Updated Thursday, May 3, 11:55 a.m.
ECW Tuesday Night Heat Review.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.5): Good news. Bobby Lahsley's promo wasn't that bad, and the opening segment had a happy ending with Bob the Big Boy beating up Estrada again.
The dissolution of the New Breed is happening a lot faster than any reasonable person would have anticipated following CM Punk's attack on Elijah Burke last week. This is a curious decision. There are only two actual storylines on the ECW television show, so why rush through one of them before it has the chance to play out?
The hardcore finale wasn't bad. Since WWE, back in the Austin era, conditioned fans that Steve Austin was a tough guy because he beat up his own boss, fans expect to see wrestlers take a swipe at Vince, and the wrestlers who don't end up looking like cowards. But hey, this is only ECW we're talking about.
It's good to see the talked about Brian and Brett from WWE developmental. Maybe this will kick off the long-rumored ECW tag team division. I'm not holding my breath.
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Updated Tuesday, April 24, 1:10 p.m.
WWE Friday Night Smackdown Review.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.5): The first ever Italian episode of WWE Smackdown featured an unusual strategy for promoting a big pay-per-view match. Undertaker and Batista are the headliners on the Smackdown side, but the story is all about these two getting the crap kicked out of them by Ken Kennedy and Fit Finlay. It isn't a bad storyline, but it isn't a particularly engaging one either.
The other thing that really stood out about Friday Night Smackdown was the two lengthy segments promoting The Condemned, the new Steve Austin movie vehicle. With all the television time WWE is devoting to it, this better be a hell of a film.
Deuce and Domino aren't much better than the other dozen or so teams that have challenged Brian Kendrick and Paul London for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles, but this was still an acceptable way to set up the title change. My concern is that under the new system, we won't get good resolutions to undercard feuds on Smackdown. At least Smackdown gets occasional help from Matt and Jeff Hardy. Their appearance was one of the highlights of the program.
This program is perfectly okay, perfectly competent, and adequate for a Friday night wrasslin' fix, but it isn't engaging, and doesn't stack up well agai8nst the fresher Raw show.
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WWE Raw Review for 4/23/07.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (8.0): What we had on Monday night with John Cena and Shawn Michaels was the best WWE match of 2007 so far. Both men deserve a tremendous amount of credit for this, Shawn for leading the dance and John Cena for following. The last twenty minutes must have pleased the McMahons, as it was a great example of WWE Main Event Style without run-ins or gimmicks.
There was some other material on the show, but that stuff wasn't as important. It was interesting to see Mick Foley on the program and interacting with Edge. Could it be that Mick Foley is the backup plan in case stupid Randy Orton is about to take an extended vacation from WWE?
The Robbie Brookside matchup against the McMahon Wrecking Crew was self-indulgent and tedious, but it did get across the basic point of the ECW title match at Backlash. Yes, Bobby Lashley should have a tough time wrestling three men. It doesn't make sense to have the big Lashley vs. Umaga rematch for free on this week's ECW television show, but that's a problem for tomorrow.
Is it just me, or is WWE pushing The Condemned harder than they did the first two WWE Films projects?
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Updated Friday, April 20, 11:11 a.m.
TNA Thunder Impact Review.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (4.0): Welcome to the weekly TNA post-show roundtable, where the bookers are the fish, and the Impact Zone is the barrel.
For all the complaints about the program, this is going to be an interesting eight weeks or so. Jeff Jarrett and his buddies are going to push Jeff Jarrett, and the Impact Zone isn't going to care. There was almost no crowd reaction to Double J's first two appearances, and this week's episode elicited barely a murmur. It will be interesting to see just how desperate TNA is to get Jeff Jarrett cheered. The fact that his wife's cancer is now part of the storyline, instead of a good reason for Jarrett to be on sabbatical, tells you all you need to know about the company's priorities. The idea that Kurt Angle would be a gym teacher but for guys like Jeff Jarrett and Sting is a hilarious statement for veteran babyface wrestlers to make.
The wrestling on this show was fine. We even had a match that broke the vaunted five minute barrier. Of course, it was a title match, and it featured a major babyface turn and a postmatch beatdown by the heels, but it's still a step in the right direction and we'll count it.
Other dumb stuff on this show? After weeks of internal bickering, and then after losing their big Six Sided War Gamez match, Christian, Scott Steiner, Styles and Tomko are suddenly all on the same page and have each others' backs. Kevin Nash gets thirty seconds to cut an insider video on how he's booking the X division. It's one of those things where you hop fans couldn't understand what Nash and the X dwarves were talking about, but it'll never draw if they do
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Updated Wednesday, April 18, 1:45 p.m.
ECW Tuesday Night Heat Review.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (7.0): Maybe this is wishful thinking, but it sure looks like we're getting a subtle, yet interesting storyline on ECW television. CM Punk is part of the New Breed, but we're getting signals that he's still a good guy and plotting to destroy the faction from within, as he battles with Elijah Burke over leadership of the group.
The Punk/Burke intrigue is essential to this show, because ECW Champion Bobby Lashley hasn't wrestled here in weeks. The overseas trip was good for Big Boy Bob. He got the sort of superstar reaction Lashley hasn't received yet here in North America. It was also a good night for the new guy, Santino Marella. Somebody in WWE finally figured out that short promos can be effective too. And Joey Styles filled in the background on Santino, admitting that the new champ had trained to be a wrestler, and was "visiting his family", not a full-blooded Italian.
The wrestling was as average and competent as it usually is on the program, and Extreme Expose didn't make the trip. So, thumbs up! With the current pace of ECW storylines, we can rest assured nothing's going to get rushed on the road to One Night Stand.
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Updated Tuesday, April 17, 5:15 p.m.
WWE Raw Review.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.5): We started off the evening's festivities with WWE paying their usual lack of attention to their undercard wrestlers. What am I talking about? Vince McMahon comes out with Umaga and offers any wrestler in the back a free shot at Umaga's WWE Intercontinental Title. Now, it's easy to understand why John Cena and Shawn Michaels would pass up his opportunity, because they're fighting over a bigger title. You might be able to make the case as to why all the heels would pass up this chance. They're heels, and they're cowards to boot. But what about Ric Flair, The Hardys, Super Crazy or any other babyface on Raw? Way to make a group of folks look like wusses. As for putting the title on Anthony Carelli, that was fine. WWE still has to do some follow-through with Santino Marella before the folks back home are going to care about the little fella.
Other than the shocking title change, this was a flat, dull maintenance episode of Raw. The main event wasn't good until the precise finishing sequence with Cena, Edge, Orton and Michaels. Michaels and Cena's rematch next week in London ought to be more entertaining.
The Diva fashion show was an extremely uninteresting diva moment, from a promotion that has given us so many of them. The Ric Flair and Carlito breakup is progressing nicely. Jeff Hardy had a nice little match with Lance Cade. The other matches were filler. Thumbs in the middle.
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Updated Monday, April 16, 12:45 a.m.
In order for this show to be viewed as a success, the fans would have to enjoy the main event and forget about a lot of what happened before that match. The Lethal Lockdown match was a fun spectacle. More importantly, it was the sort of fun spectacle that the fans in Missouri were hoping to see, and the fact that TNA ripped off a lot of material in this match from last year's Lethal Lockdown didn't seem to matter to these people. Sure, TNA Director Keith Mitchell missed a bunch of key spots in the match (again), but there's no point holding a grudge.
The Electric Cage match featured some solid work from the participants. then again, so did the Chamber of Horrors back in October 1991. This was an awesome pay-per-view shipwreck, complete with cheesy sound effects and a "electric pipe" that apparently delivered the 1.21 jiggawatts to the flux capacitor hooked up at ringside. The announcers somehow forgot to mention that steel is a poor conductor of electricity, and everyone involved seemed to forget whether the cage was electrified or not.
Senshi and Austin Starr had a really good little match with a stupid finish. At the beginning of the match, Don West informed us that Senshi and Starr were "two of the best wrestlers you'll ever see". He's right. He never explained why two of the best wrestlers I'll ever see were working a meaningless match on the undercard of this show, but Don was busy tonight, and I'm certain he'll have an explanation for us in due course. The Escape match and the Lynn vs. Daniels match were also good. Petey Williams and Robert Roode's match was less good. Christy Hemme's acting on the pre-show deserved all the accolades that Konnan heaped upon her during his promo.
The blindfold match was not out of sight, nor was it out of mind. It didn't really have a place on this show. Storm's execution during the match was okay. Harris's execution? Yeah, I'm in favor of it. The women's match wasn't great, but I'm looking forward to the return match, the one where Gail Kim goes for revenge on Jackie Moore for not catching Gail when she dove off the top of the cage.
The fans chanted "Fire Russo", but they're wrong. Not that Russo shouldn't be fired, it's just that they're thinking too small. Panda Energy should fire everyone in this fiasco. That includes Russo, Dixie Carter, Jeff Jarrett, Dutch Mantel, Terry Taylor, Keith Mitchell, the clapper loader, the boom operator, the Foley artist, the best boy, the gaffer, the key grip...Everyone. Except maybe some of the wrestlers... Score: 4.0.
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Updated Tuesday, April 10, 11:39 a.m.
WWE Raw Review.
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.0): It is going to take some time to repair the damage done by the final segment of Monday night's episode of Raw. WWE is obviously serious about pushing Bobby Lashley, and we can tell this because they gave him a primo spot on WrestleMania and the final segment on the past two episodes of Raw. So how do you explain freaking Shane McMahon going toe-to-toe with the ECW champion? This is supposed to get Lashley over? How do you explain Lashley being held into place by Armando Alejandro Estrada? Or how pitting Lashley against the guy dressed like Captain Dudley Smith is going to draw dime one? Seriously, we know Vince is crazy and that Vince thinks the solution is to getting any babyface over is More Vince. But this mostly made Lashley look like a chump, and WWE can't afford to be doing that.
By the way, since Shane McMahon lost the title versus hair match, shouldn't Shane-o-Mac have gotten his head shaved? Heck, I would have settled for Jim Ross pointing out that Shane had been disqualified and lost the match, but the announcers were probably told not to mention it. Nice bait and switch there, WWE.
The Michaels-Orton match was disappointing, especially when you remember what Michaels has been able to do against Cena and Edge in singles matches over the past few months. Orton needs to improve if he's ever going to be one of the guys WWE leans on. It was also curious that Shawn came out to his music, not the DX music he's been using since Triple H's injury. Decent match with a poorly executed finish.
The other matches were nothing special. The diva tag match was better than expected. Maria and Candice are improving. The other two tag team matches were fine examples of the five minute tag match genre. I'm willing to have a different child as general manager each week if that gets us out the same "fight the power" evil authority figure storylines WWE has fed us for the past decade.
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Updated Wednesday, April 4, 4:55 p.m.
ECW Tuesday Night Heat Review
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.5): For all the flaws with this hour of ECW on Sci-Fi, at least we didn't have to watch Bobby Lashley wrestle a mediocre opponent. You have to appreciate that.
There was nothing to see here, except that Tazz actually called CM Punk's finisher the Go To Sleep, which was certainly encouraging. It's rarely that anyone would feel sorry for Hardcore Holly, but that was certainly an ignominious way to go into your injury-related hiatus. My guess with Snitsky's push is that the Sci-Fi channel still wants a science fiction theme, so WWE told them Snitsky is playing Frankenstein's monster.
The eight man tag was a darn good garbage match. The problem with this show, is that ECW is now getting the worst deal of the three brands. Smackdown and ECW wrestlers can drop by Raw every week, and Raw wrestlers can go appear on Smackdown, but ECW didn't get any outside starpower for their first show after WrestleMania, and this is the show that needs it the most. Lashley vs. Snitsky and CM Punk against the New Breed aren't the feuds that will jump start this program. Thumbs in the middle.
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Just for fun, let's talk about some of the other stuff I've watched this past week. Ring of Honor's "International Challenge" DVD was good, but not nearly up to the level of the show that followed it, "Final Battle 2006". However, there were some supremely entertaining moments. The Lords of the Ring promo where Matt Sydal talked about his "million dollar smile" while Christopher Daniels and Allison Danger looked at Sydal like he had two heads was plenty good. Colt Cabana had his usual fun match with Brent Albright, and boy, are Ring of Honor fans going to miss Cabana after next month. Albright played his role well and deserved credit for that. Jimmy Jacobs hasn't always been a good promo guy, but when he's doing his emo-style promos about his love for Lacey, that sells.
The real highlight of the show was the main event, which saw Daniels and Sydal defending the Ring of Honor tag team titles against CIMA and Shingo Takagi. This felt like Daniels and CIMA decided to show their young sidekicks how tag team wrestling worked.
Tag team wrestling is a lost art here in North America. WWE held WrestleMania on Sunday and the only tag match on that show was the short ECW eight man tag. This was different. CIMA and Shingo worked a heelish style, and got tons of heat with Matt Sydal, who was banged up anyway after the previous set of Ring of Honor events. Daniels, in turn, did a great job when he finally got the hot tag. And, unlike, way too many spotfests lately, the match ended with the best spots instead of having everyone kick out of everything and a rollup finish.
This show itself is wildly recommended, but be sure to check out the main event if you get a chance. It's too good to be lost in the DVD shuffle.
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Updated Tuesday, March 27, 1:47 p.m.
Raw review-
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.5): Sure, it was the final episode of Raw before WrestleMania, but the emotional highlight was the announcement of Jim Ross's induction into the WWE Hall of Fame this Saturday night. Ross obviously knew the announcement was coming (or else heard the rumors) but his response to the praise of his colleagues and the roar of the fans was the sort of spontaneous, heartfelt moment we don't often see on WWE television. You also have to love how the fed segued from this right into the Great Khali vs. Ric Flair match, almost as if management was saying "Oh, yeah? Call THIS, Barbecue Boy!"
Vince McMahon scored his big pre-WrestleMania victory against Bobby Lashley. The ridiculous amount of outside interference is the perfect setup for Steve Austin's involvement on Sunday. Many of us aren't crazy about the whole evil McMahon cheap victory segment, but at least it was a non-title match. McMahon didn't give himself the ECW title. At least, not this week.
The other headline moment on Raw was Shawn Michaels finally hitting the superkick on John Cena. Not only did it cap off several weeks of Raw and set the table for WrestleMania, but it also raises the question of what happens on next week's show, when Michaels and Cena are still co-holding the Raw tag team titles.
Everything else was okay. The Diva match was bad, but that wasn't the point. The point was to get Candice, Torrie and Ashley in the ring at the same time. Steve Austin works well in small doses, like when he beat up Coach. The show was nothing special, but it didn't do anything to hurt what should be a strong buyrate for the big show.
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Updated Monday, March 26, 5:23 p.m.
TNA Impact review
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (4.5): Judging by the ratings, one percent of America watches TNA Impact along with me every Thursday night. But it doesn't appear that anyone in TNA management is watching this show. If they are, they're not paying very close attention.
Here's a case study. Brother Ray and Devon hit the ring for their interview segment.and Mike Tenay pretends that Team 3-D is there unannounced and that he's surprised to see them. Which show is Mike watching? It seems like Brother Ray is on Impact every single week, cutting the same "lack of respect" promo on the LAX. Then, the babyfaces open up their toy chests and offer to put their "legacy" of toy wrestling belts up against the NWA Tag Team Titles. Konnan, the heel, calls 3-D and challenges them to a dangerous stipulation match, one so dangerous that the legendary babyface tag team doesn't accept right away. This is either incompetent booking or someone flat out doesn't like Ray and Devon. Or both.
The match with the clean finish here was the opening six-man tag. It says something about TNA that even the job guys have a contract, a gimmick and a former World Champion as their manager. The entire Sting and Abyss storyline makes no sense and it just won't end.
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WWE Smackdown review
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (6.0): This was a perfectly acceptable wrestling television show. The highlight, from a wrestling standpoint, was Chris Benoit and Gregory Helms putting together a nice little five minute match. Helms did a good job bumping and selling, and Benoit was Benoit.
Kudos to whoever decided not to let Batista wrestle on Smackdown unless absolutely necessary. Undertaker did a good job holding up his end of the handicap match, and the sequence where hit the running front DDT on Finlay was either very tight or very well-edited. You knew this was a serious match because Finlay's midget didn't interfere.
John Layfield toned down his usual bulrush of the announce table, but we can expect some serious antics from the Longhorn next week in the Undertaker-Batista face-to-face interview. The MVP bit where he battles the United Nation of Jobber should probably continue after he wins the United States title. Vince McMahon turned in some tremendous facial expressions as Bobby Lashley decimated his Army of Underachieving Caucasian Muscleheads. Plus, it was nice to see The Rock on Smackdown, even if it was just a ten second blurb for the Wild Samoans Hall of Fame video. All in all, a decent way to kill two hours.
And a final note to all my fellow Washington DC readers: Smackdown has been preempted this week on the local CW affiliate for a Washington Capitals hockey game. Sure, Alex Ovechkin and the mighty Caps are in the middle of a death struggle with Chicago and Phoenix for the second draft pick, but that's probably not what the station hoped for when they scheduled the game for television.
In any case, the upshot of this is that Smackdown will air this Sunday afternoon at 3 PM. WWE fanatics can enjoy an extra two hours of action before WrestleMania, a move that seems guaranteed to piss off even the most devoted spouse, roommate or significant other. Enjoy!
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Updated Wednesday, March 21, 2:03 p.m.
ECW Tuesday Night Heat on Sci-Fi review
Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist (5.0): Blah, blah, blah. This was a mediocre show with a bunch of uninteresting matchups. The lone highlight was CM Punk defeating Hardcore Holly after the New Blood…er…New Breed interfered. Isn't anyone else worried that the main angle in ECW (Old Farts vs. New Guys) is directly cribbed from WCW's main angle from 2000? That's a bad sign, don't you think? But the Punk-Burke dynamic is interesting, and it is, at least, one storyline that's going somewhere.
Also, you had to enjoy the announcement of Ed Farhat being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, complete with a very un-WWE like set of old Big Time Wrestling clips. This is WWE, so we can't mention how a booker like Farhat killed his own territory by featuring himself as the main star when he was way past his expiration date. This video package fit ECW television better than it fit WWE Raw.
Unfortunately, I have to take issue with fellow columnist James Caldwell for complaining about the length of the matches on the program. After last week's show, nobody should ever complain about the lack of lengthy ECW matches again. This isn't TNA, where there are wrestlers who can carry twenty minute matches and are forced to cut it down to three. All twelve ECW wrestlers made it onto the program, Chris Masters wasn't featured in a long match, and it didn't suck too horribly. Thumbs in the middle.
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Updated Monday, March 19, 10:24 p.m.
WWE Raw rating: (8.0)
For the moment, we're going to ignore the fact that there was only one good wrestling match tonight. WWE Raw was another solid brick in the WrestleMania wall. Everything seems to be clicking. Chris Benoit, despite his unenthusiastic facial expressions during his ring entrance, did his job and make John Cena look like an unbreakable WWE champion. JBL's deal didn't make a bit of logical sense, but he cut a couple of nice heel promos in his audition for an eventual general manager spot on one of the three brands. Took a nice bump, too.
The bit where Bobby Lashley broke the Masterlock probably did more to get Lashley than the past three weeks of ECW television combined. The Masterlock challenge got a lot of buildup, and this was the best payoff WWE could have come up with. Edge's battle royal victory was a textbook way to build up heat for the Rated-R superstar while not putting the injured Adam Copleand at risk. It also played into the inside knowledge that Edge is hurt, but that's just a bonus.
The bit where Lawler sacrificed himself for the hot diva was inspired. Todd Grisham made the most of his opportunity tonight. The Grish still doesn't sound inspired or passionate about the business, but he was very well prepared and he got his points across. You can't ask for much more than that from your backup announcer.
Eugene was a good choice for Vince McMahon's Billionaire Bully segment this week. It was a little disappointing that no one mentioned McMahon's "fractured pelvis" when the boss talked about wrestling next week, but that's a small thing. Thumbs up, and a good job of hyping next week's show as well.
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Updated Monday, March 12, 8:42 a.m.
TNA Destination X rating: (4.5)
Let's give credit where it is due. This columnist was amused and entertained by Destination X. Of course, the show was amusing and entertaining for all the wrong reasons, like watching Bruce Willis and Danny Aiello's musical number during Hudson Hawk.
The main event between Christian Cage and Samoa Joe was a good piece of business. You can make a very strong argument that it's too soon to have Joe win the belt, and that the TNA title has moved around way too much over the past six months. This was the right finish for Christian as a vulnerable heel champion, better than the cheap tricks Jeff Jarrett used to employ to keep the NWA title. But it was the wrong finish on Sunday night, with the entire crowd rabid for Joe and Joe getting a huge reaction from the Orlando crowd, by far the biggest of anyone present. TNA looked completely out of step with its fans. Again.
The Elevation X scaffold match was good in that no one was seriously hurt. AJ Styles did everything he could to make it interesting, put it's impossible to have a good match on a scaffold. It is even worse when the match is on pay-per-view, and the cameras are catching the fact that guys are scared to do anything (and with good reason.) The idea of making Rhino scared of heights is insane. Rhino's entire gimmick is that he's a hardcore warrior and former ECW champion. The company needs to come up with a better way to make three-dimensional characters.
Sting vs. Abyss was a so awful that it was perversely entertaining. The best part was Abyss acting like the fake tombstone was a eighty pound slab of concrete, and then Sting grabbing the same fake tombstone and swinging it around like the cheap plaster knockoff it was. The downside of having an entire arena chant "Fire Russo" is that Russo's incompetence will distract Panda Energy from the incompetence of Vince Russo's bosses. Scott Steiner against Kurt Angle was awful. Everyone in the building figured out that Steiner refused to take the sunset flip powrbomb from Angle, and that killed whatever street cred Big Poppa Pump had left. Angle had a look of relief after the match. Hopefully, he's relieved that the feud is over. Chris Daniels received an awful gimmick makeover, so that he now resembles every other half-assed indy gimmick in North America.
One day, Vince Russo will realize that his target audience has already seen the Jackass movies, and that those movies succeeded because fans didn't have to pay $30 to watch them on pay-per-view. Thumbs in the middle, leaning down.
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Updated Friday, March 2, 7:02 p.m.
TNA Impact on Spike TV: 5 out of 10, and it could have been worse. Sure, this was a decent way to kill an hour on Thursday night, but not much more than that.
The best part of the evening was the interaction between two of TNA's biggest loose cannons. Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle were at their best threatening to tear apart Universal Studios in order to get their hands on each other. The match itself will be suspect due to the physical condition of both men, but never let it be said the Olympic Hero and Big Poppa Pump didn't put in their best effort.
The rest of the show was the usual confusing mess that only Vince Russo and the TNA All-Star Booking team can deliver. We had six of the company's most athletic X division wrestlers work a match where the goal is to get Bob Backlund, Kevin Nash and Randy Savage. (You don't think so? Well, you explain it.) Nash also managed to interject himself into the Brother Ray-LAX confrontation, which made about zero sense. It also didn't make sense for Shelley and Starr to be on the same side after their months of bickering, but we'll let that slide.
What To Do With Lashley: Look, we've had a full week of Vince McMahon ramming ECW champion Bobby Lashley down our throats. How far did it get us? Lashley is still the same static character he was a week ago. We all heard the incredible reaction (a sort of groan) when Trump announced Lashley as his wrestler for WrestleMania 23. On the bright side, Donald Trump didn't screw up Lashley's name on MSNBC this morning. Of course, he never mentioned Lashley.
It is time to try something different with Lashley in order to get the mainstream attention WWE wants out of this. Here's a suggestion. Instead of having Lashley show up for Raw, Smackdown and ECW this weekend, have the big guy report to New York City and spend a week as part of Trump's entourage. Have Trump and WWE spin this into Lashley being Trump's personal background. Trump will learn more about the soft-spoken ECW champ, and be able to put him over on interviews. Trump will also feel important because, hey, WWE sent him one of their top wrestlers to bodyguard him for a week. Get a couple of shot of Lashley in an expensive suit standing with Trump, and we're good to go.
Or maybe you'd rather watch Lashley wrestle on television three times next week.
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Updated Monday, February 27, 12:20 p.m.
Raw Rating: (8.0)
WWE did a fine job letting everything percolate this week as we get another step closer to WrestleMania. The first segment was clever, with Edge and Orton doing a pretty accurate rundown of Shawn Michaels' history as a heel with the promotion. It is about time the newer fans got the details of the Heartbreak Kid's history, so that they could set up the central question of whether Shawn will turn on Cena in order to get a better shot at the WWE title. The match was right up there too. It wasn't an instant classic, but it told a good story. Everyone watching was in suspense as to whether Michaels would blindside the champ.
The other headline segment saw Trump choose Bobby Lashley as his partner and a huge pullapart between Lashley and Umaga. It started slow, but there was some good intensity by the time everything was sorted out. It was a good move by Vince McMahon to retroactively decide that Umaga was going around eliminating potential superstars for Trump to use, like Rey Mysterio. That added context to the storyline.
There were two problems here. First was that Trump wasn't in the arena. That's more a problem with Trump's schedule than with WWE's creativity. Still, there needs to be a video with Trump and Lashley in the same shot at the same time, in order for Big Bobby to get the rub. The other problem was the incredible lack of reaction to Lashley when Trump announced his name. No one in the audience seemed particularly happy to see him, which is probably why ECW did that record low rating last week. If Lashley still can't get over after this angle, it will be time to move on to something else.
There was more wrestling than usual this week. Jeff Hardy's victory was fun, even with the badly blown springboard spot. It was good to see Carlito and Kenny Dykstra get some ring time, since that's the only way they're going to improve. Plus, the show made effective use of Chris Masters and Super Crazy, and even set up a Women's Title match in a prominent sot for next week.
Did anyone else notice how WWE went out of their way not to show Hall of Famer Jerry Lawler wrestling in front of lackluster crowds during the non-WWE footage in the induction video package? Wouldn't want people to accidentally conclude that someone could actually be a wrestling superstar outside WWE, would we?
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Updated Friday, February 16, 2:20 p.m.
Quick thoughts on all the wrestling television of the week as we head into No Way Out weekend (or, for some of you, Fifth Year Festival weekend).
ECW on Sci-Fi: The Originals versus New Breed feud gave ECW some life over the past two weeks, but the supreme pussification of the old guys isn't helping. Can you imagine any circumstances where, in the old ECW, Sandman, Balls Mahoney and the crew would let Vince McMahon, Mr. Anti-ECW, eviscerate them on a promo without kicking the crap out of Vinnie Mac? Yeah, me either. It continued this week as Sabu, Rob Van Dam, Sandman and Tommy Dreamer all went down to defeat at the hands of the newbies.
Also, the start of the CM Punk- Gene Snitsky feud, where Punk is obviously going to be used to get Snitsky over, shouldn't fill anyone with confidence. If you, like WWE management, believe that bigger and bulkier sells, having Snitsky beat down the skinny tattooed guys isn't going to impress anybody. But the wrestling was decent, and that goes a long way.
Wrestling Society X: This might have been the last WSX episode, as it turns out. There's not too much to say about it. It is unusual that we've reached a point where Teddy Hart can electrocute another wrestler and nobody cares.
However, you might want to check out the past couple of WSXtra episodes on the WSX website. Colt Cabana's run as Matt Classic is (in my opinion) better than anything the company's put on the air, and his online match with Scorpio Sky was quite entertaining. Hopefully, this is the next step toward making Scott Colton/Colt Cabana/Matt Classic a household name.
WWE Raw: Once again, Raw delivers with another good wrestling show. Bruce was right about the sound sweetener for Trump, but there were audible gasps from the Portland audience when The Donald proposed the hair versus hair match, and those probably weren't faked. The interaction between Ric Flair and Carlito was also very entertaining.
Normally, I'd be more critical of this week's huge WWE crossovers, what with Batista, Undertaker, Kennedy and MVP dropping by Raw and a bunch of Raw wrestlers visiting Smackdown, but everything's been enjoyable. Plus, it does add something to the buildup of WrestleMania, if it’s the one time of year where wrestlers are trying to improve their position in the promotion.
TNA Impact: Look, you already know how messed up Total Nonstop Action is. All I have to do is lay out the segments for those of you who didn't watch or tape the show:
Segment #1: Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle have a promo battle over a bunch of stuff that happened in WWE.
Segment #2: LAX wins a squash, and are interrupted by a big screen promo from Brother Ray and his cousin, Bobby Baccala. No idea why Ray thought any Sopranos fan would be scared of Bobby Baccala. Of course, that means Ray is related to Janice Soprano, and the threat of a visit from Janice would have been enough to send the LAX hightailing it out of Orlando for good.
Segment #3: Ex-WWE divas Gail Kim and Jacqueline Moore have an arm-wrestling match. No, really. Raw went to commercial, and I flipped over to Impact, and that's what was on. Plus, Jacqueline was wearing a Confederate cowgirl hat. Outside of professional wrestling, have you ever seen an African-American wearing Confederate anything?
Segments #4-6: TNA's Gauntlet for The Gold, their version of a Royal Rumble. Jim Cornette jumped in on commentary, which was a good idea. In order to let everyone know what an exciting alternative TNA is to WWE, WWE has its top six wrestlers in the ring for the closing match on Raw, and the TNA Gauntlet comes down to Samoa Joe and (wait for it) Tyson Tomko. Joe won, thankfully. Then Joe squared off with the B-team of ex-WWE wrestlers until Kurt Angle came out for the save and the post-show staredown. So, it's Joe vs. Christian Cage at the next TNA pay-per-view.
Next week's episode of TNA will feature a five-way ladder match to determine the number one contender for the X division title. The twist is that Mister Bob Backlund is choosing the competitors (Well, that's what Bob said). No work as to whether we'll get a prematch Harvard Step Test challenge.
Come back later this weekend and we'll take a look at Sunday's No Way Out pay-per-view.
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Updated Friday, February 9, 6:06 p.m.
The Tuesday Night Wars: The second week of the ECW/WSX battle on Tuesday night cable television is in the books, and Wrestling Society X closed the gap on WWE's Extreme Championship Wrestling in the ratings war. That's the good news for WSX. The bad news is that the ratings for both shows dropped. The WSX ratings dropped by a smaller amount than ECW's did.
In fact, the hourlong struggle between ECW and WSX has had an unintended consequence. Last week's combined rating for Tuesday night wrestling was a 2.5. This week's was a 2.1. About one-sixth of the people who tuned in to the see the first shot in the ECW/WSX war decided not to bother checking in for Week 2.
Neither show was a thumbs-up effort, but you have to give WSX the victory in the crucial area of post-show buzz. Let's say you missed the shows, and people who watched give you short descriptions of each episode:
WSX TV – Vampiro slams Sean Waltman on an exploding coffin.
ECW TV – Gene Snitsky is back. He's bald and has no eyebrows.
Which description would get you more fired up about next week's show.
Another Completely Horrible Idea: Our good friends at Total Nonstop Action will be celebrating the Westminster Dog Show by airing a two-hour primetime special on Monday Night, featuring five previously unaired pay-per-view matches.
Sounds great, right? Well, there's a catch. One of those matches is the infamous Slammiversary 2006 King of the Mountain match. You know, the one with Abyss, Christian, Jeff Jarrett, Ron Killings and Sting battling over the NWA title in that reverse ladder penalty box match. It is an interesting choice, to say the least, because you get the impression that TNA has spent the last four months trying to make its fans forget that this match ever took place.
If you've already forgotten TNA booking from last spring, the finish of the King of the Mountain match saw authority figure Larry Zbyszko and referee Earl Hebner turn heel and interfere against Sting and Christian Cage to help Jeff Jarrett regain the NWA Heavyweight Title. For some reason, even though new authority figure Jim Cornette saw the chicanery, Jarrett was allowed to keep the title. The fans in Olrando were so displeased by the sight of Jarrett ascending to hang the belt that they bombarded Double J with water bottles.
That was TNA at its worst, following up a lot of decent wrestling action with an awful finish that sucked the air out of the building. Nobody thought the finish constituted "good heat" except for Jarrett himself. Double J quickly spun around, lost the title a few months later, started a babyface turn and took himself off of television. Even if this was the greatest match ever, why would you put a match on that features Christian Cage as a huge babyface and Jarrett as a top heel at this point?
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Updated Friday, February 2, 3:16 p.m.
TNA Impact Thoughts for 2/1
As always with TNA, it’s the random stupid stuff that kills us wrestling fans, slowly grinding us down into the carpet until we give up and switch to CSI or hit the mute button.
This week’s examples? Well, here’s a couple. Robert Roode, the Hottest Free Agent in wrestling, goes through a huge managerial search where random Hall of Famers show up and offer Roode money and power in exchange for his services. For this to make sense, you have to have to ignore the fact that Roode is the same midcarder we’ve all been watching on TNA for years, but let’s roll with it. Roode passes on several offer, choosing to sign with Ms. Tracy Brooks because of her huge breasts. Okay.
A month passes. Roode is somehow a rich guy, the head of “Robert Roode Incorporated”, even though he’s still a midcard. Now Roode is bossing around Tracy, and instead of Tracy owning Roode’s contract, Roode owns Tracy’s contract and is ready to fire her. Now, instead of wanting to be treated with respect, Roode wants to be a fan favorite, so he sends Tracy to seduce Eric Young and sign him to a contract. But, for whatever reason, Tracy won’t let Eric sign the contract until Eric sleeps with her.
Eric’s willing to sleep with Tracy, and apparently willing to sign the contract too, but Tracy’s demanded that Eric wear a condom. So, instead of stopping off at CVS or Eckerd on the way back to the Sleep Inn or wherever the wrestlers are staying now, Tracy leaves the condom purchase to Eric, and it’s taken three weeks for Eric Young to buy condoms. Roode loses his temper and threatens Tracy. Eric Young, who was about to beat up Tracy a minute ago, makes the save for Tracy, beats up Roode, and leaves with Tracy. Roode is apparently okay with this.
That was the second dumbest portion of this week’s TNA Impact show.
The dumbest portion of this week’s TNA Impact show took place when Don West is reading some promotional copy for Lockdown and is interrupted by Abyss’s music and the arrival of James Mitchell. You see, West had no idea Mitchell was coming out to talk about the Prison Yard match, because he somehow missed the set director constructing A GIANT PRISON YARD SET ten feet in front of him at ringside during the commercial break, just for Mitchell’s promo.
This week’s score? Let’s see. Three matches, three run-in finishes. Let’s give it a 3.0.
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Updated Wednesday, January 31, 3:26 p.m.
Raw Rating: (7.0)
Another week, another really good top angle and main event match on Raw. What is this, three weeks in a row? The introduction of The Undertaker make for a strong cliffhanger and should muddy the waters for a few weeks as to who gets the WWE title match against John Cena at WrestleMania. Also, the promotion has done something with the simmering tension between Edge and Randy Orton. Now that they've lost the tag team belts, there's a prime opportunity to set up a feud between the Rated RKO guys, if WWE wants to go in that direction.
The Donald Trump video appearance was a good idea in more ways than one. Let's say the next two or three times McMahon shows up on Raw to announce something, Video Trump drops more money from the ceiling. Imagine what that would do for live attendance, if people started thinking they had a shot at grabbing $100 bills. And it still costs less than the show-opening wave of pyro or destroying vehicles in the parking garage for an angle.
The other matches tonight weren't that great, but most of them had a storyline point to them. It was good to see Benjamin and Haas scoring a victory on television over the Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Cryme Tyme, especially since we're going to need some heel tag team challengers in the near future. If someone knows what the point to the Super Crazy/Carlto vs. Chris Masters/Kenny Dykstra tag match was, please drop us a line. At this rate, Carlito and Masters will be appearing in the same segments five years from now.
Somebody has to have a talk with the people who put together promos for WWE. If you're watching Raw, which promo is more likely to persuade you to check out the following night's ECW program? Vince McMahon showing up in ECW or the promise of Bobby Lashley wrestling Test for the umpteenth time?
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Updated Wednesday, January 24, 1:54 p.m.
ECW On Sci-Fi: You can chalk up last night's episode of ECW television as a 5 out of 10. With the show airing opposite President Bush's State of the Union speech in most of America, WWE has to be expecting a bump to around 1.8 in the ratings this week.
In case you haven't been watching this show for the past few weeks (and judging by the ratings, you haven't), WWE has given up on this program. There are no more special guest stars from Raw and Smackdown, and it's clear the show has settled into a pattern. You'll get a Bobby Lashley match, a Marquis Cor Von match, a CM Punk match, and something else involving the undercard wrestlers. This is now a developmental territory for about six guys. Sure, you'll still see Rob Van Dam and Sabu and Test, but those fellows are pretty much around to help get the new kids over.
Did you notice that Kelly Kelly and Leyla are apparently putting together an ECW version of the Nitro Girls? That's got to be a letdown for Kelly. She's been promising to get naked for months now, and nothing comes of it. You don't need Paul Heyman to figure out that's not how a babyface operates.
Cryme Tyme: Monday's episode of Raw was damned good, but it featured one big speed bump. Of course, I'm talking about the Cryme Tyme skit. In a typical example of the sort of fantastic humor WWE television is known for, Cryme Tyme ripped off Super Crazy and Eugene with fake Royal Rumble numbers, and sold a fake painting to noted art critic Ron Simmons.
Just a thought for the geniuses over in WWE Creative (you know, the ones who like to pretend you need an actual SCRIPT to write a wrestling television show, instead of a sheet of looseleaf and a fresh Number 2 pencil). Wouldn't Cryme Tyme's stunts be more effective if they were abusing the heels?
See you after the special Wednesday night TNA Impact.
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Updated Saturday, January 20, 12:54 p.m.
Bam Bam Bigelow: The former WrestleMania headliner passed away yesterday in Florida at the age of 45. He joins an extensive list of wrestlers who starred in the 1980's who wound up dead before their time.
Granted, we don't know the exact circumstances behind the passing of Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow. But we do have his own words, from an interview in the St. Petersburg Times fourteen months ago. Bigelow had just recovered from a motorcycle accident, one where local police believed he'd been driving while intoxicated.
Bigelow admitted that he had been hooked on Oxycontin for most of his eighteen year career in professional wrestling, and that he was still in pain. He talked about the deaths of some of his close friends. Ted Petty. Jerry Tuite. Chris Candido. "And it's all due to wrestling," Bigelow told the reporter. "It's that simple."
Professional wrestlers are grown men, capable of making their own decisions. But it is increasingly obvious that the "wrestling cocktail" of painkillers, muscle enhancers and illegal pharmaceuticals leads to all sorts of physical problems, plus an increased ring of dying before one's time. Hopefully, this lesson has sunk in for the current generation of wrestlers.
As for Bigelow, I join with the rest of the TORCH staff in expressing heartfelt condolences to his friends and family, and the hopes that we don't have to watch similar scenes play out in the future.
Getting Physical: There were two really enjoyable matches on WWE television this week. Not surprisingly, they featured the company's best wrestlers. On Smackdown last night, Chris Benoit and Chavo Guerrero had a no disqualification match over the United States title. It was a physically demanding match, with some painful looking bumps. The match ended within ten minutes, which was good. It made the chairshots and missed moves off the top rope seem important, something occasionally lost in other promotions.
The other really good WWE moment for the week was the final segment of Raw, with the handicap match that had been built up for an entire show. Shawn Michaels is very good about getting the babyface in peril scenario just right. He took his beating, but showed fire and determination in surviving the two on one scenario. This was also a physically violent match, ending with a vicious looking chairshot by Michaels on Randy Orton.
While the level of physicality made for better television, it's hard not to think about all the bumps and charishots involved. One veteran wrestler I talk with has been explaining to me how damaging the big bumps are to the long term health of a wrestler, claiming that, over time, they cause more damage to a wrestler's body than steroid use does. While steroid abuse can't be good for anyone, there's certainly cause and effect between years of taking high-impact bumps and chairshots and chronic pain. Pain leads to painkillers, which leads to the potential for painkiller abuse. That's worth thinking about the next time you see a match that focuses on in-ring action and matwork rather than stunts and tricks.
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Updated Thursday, January 11, 6:30 p.m.
WrestleMania Fever: While many diehard wrestling fans are making their plans for Detroit and WrestleMania 23, there is a lot of speculation as to where WrestleMania 24 will be held when April 2008 rolls along. The Olympics, the Super Bowl and the World Cup may be important to some cities, but WrestleMania can draw a good sized crowd, especially if the industry's having a good year.
The three names being thrown around in the rumor mill are Orlando, Miami and Las Vegas. Despite WWE's poor showing for WrestleMania at Caesar's Palace in 1993, Vegas is a party town with a ton of hotel rooms. Sunday night is usually a dead night in America's Adult Playground. And let's face it, Las Vegas is a different city than it was fifteen years ago and WWE attracts a different audience. It could work.
It is easy to figure out why Miami made the short list. South Florida is a natural after two straight WrestleManias in the cold weather. The McMahons' winter home is in South Florida, so it'll be a short trip for the boss. Plus, it's the hometown of The Rock, if WWE feels like going in that direction.
The whole idea of WrestleMania in Orlando is borne out of spitefulness. It isn't that there's anything wrong with Orlando, and they do have nice weather and plenty of tourist attractions. But the motivation behind WrestleMania in Orlando is to stick it to Total Nonstop Action. WWE can deny it, but they're keenly aware of TNA's existence. A sold-out show with a large gate at Orlando Arena would remind everyone just who controls the pro wrestling game in North America.
Since WWE is kicking around ideas, there's a few more cities the promotion could consider for next year's Biggest Spectacle of Sports Entertainment.
London, England: In April, WWE's going to be doing Raw, Smackdown and ECW from Earl's Court, and you can bet on the promotion packing the arena. The time difference isn't a problem. Start the show at 9 PM London time, and the show airs live at 4 PM Eastern. Then you can have two replays for all us daft Americans who have to watch our wrestling pay-per-views at the regularly scheduled times.
Boston, Massachusetts: One of WWE's traditional hotbeds, and a major league sports town. WWE could celebrate a WrestleMania in John Cena's hometown, the anniversary of Pete Rose's first piledriver from Kane, and the tenth anniversary of Steve Austin winning the WWF title, all in the same night.
New Orleans, Louisiana: Yes, there's people in the WWE front office who have no problem bringing a touring crew to Baghdad but look askance at the notion of a major wrestling event in the Big Easy. The Louisiana Superdome has undergone a $185 million dollar renovation since Hurricane Katrina. Last week, the Dome held 75,000 people for a college football game, and they'll be hosting an NFL playoff game on Saturday night. I think they've worked all the bugs out. This would also buy the company a ton of good publicity, not that they need it with the civic-minded Vince McMahon at the helm.
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Updated Friday, December 22, 5:20 p.m.
Brother Brad: The most interesting portion of this week's ECW telecast saw former WCW Light Heavyweight Champion Brad Armstrong make his ECW television as a guest commentator during the epic Balls Mahoney-Matt Striker tilt. The only point to his appearance seemed to be the start of a rivalry between Brad and the regular commentator, former ECW heavyweight champion Taz. Which, by the way, is a great idea. The main ECW feuds are dull these days, and with some clever maneuvering, WWE could keep Bradstreet versus The Human Suplex Machine simmering until they eventually lock up at One Night Stand 2007.
That's not the most entertaining part of this story, though. Brad is the older brother of Brian "BG" James, chief talker for the Voodoo Kin Mafia, the duo that's trashed the McMahons, Degeneration X and WWE writer Christopher "Fat Naked Oily Guy" DeJoseph over the past several weeks. There has been speculation about WWE releasing several ECW wrestlers in the near future, since the company no longer has to worry about filling out house show lineups.
Vince McMahon has a history of taking talent relations very, very personally. When Jeff Jarrett signed with WCW in 1996, it didn't take long for the WWF to fire back by making Brian into Jesse James "The New Double J", as a way to get their revenge on the future King of the Mountain. In 1997, when Bret Hart left the World Wrestling Federation, Vince McMahon took out his anger on Hart's former partner Jim Neidhart, having DX humiliate The Anvil live on Raw before letting Neidhart go to World Championship Wrestling. More recently, where Eddie Guerrero committed the unforgivable sin of dying in the middle of a major push, WWE vented their frustration toward his best friend, Rey Mysterio, through a series of dumb and humiliating angles which surrounded Rey Rey's run with the World Heavyweight Title.
If Brad Armstrong earns a regular or semi-regular role on ECW television, it shows how little WWE concerns itself with the Voodoo Kin Mafia, or anything else that's happening in Orlando.
Cease And Desist: Speaking of the Voodoo Kin Mafia, their skits (which will be continued next week) have them traveling to a WWE Raw house show in Knoxville, Tennessee. The punchline is that BG and Kip want Triple H, Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon to sign a petition agreeing not to sully the DX name with any more stupid skits. It isn't a bad goal, but WWE already started giving Hunter and Shawn a more serious story arc as we build toward their match against the tag team champions at New Year's Revolution.
Well, charity begins at home. How about TNA helping out wrestling fans by not showing the thong-clad Tiny the Timekeeper? We've seen him twice inside of two weeks, once at Turning Point and once as part of last night's Paparazzi skit? That's two times too many.
Enjoy the long weekend.
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Updated Friday, December 15, 1:50 p.m.
Johnny Nitro/Melina Interview Recap: On the way to work, I caught Johnny Nitro and Melina Perez being interviewed on WJFK-FM in Washington DC. The duo was on the "Sports Junkies" morning show. This was the final new episode of the year, so the Junkies did the show while intoxicated as part of a "don't drink and drive" public service message.
The hosts asked Nitro and Melina about their alliance with Kevin Federline, which they were proud to talk about. When asked about their relationship, the two admitted they were romantic involved, and are allowed to talk about it since their characters are also boyfriend and girlfriend. This led to a variety of sex questions, which Nitro and Melina fielded as gracefully as possible. Suffice it to say, they like each other. One of the hosts tried to get Melina to talk dirty to Nitro in Spanish, but she instead told Nitro she loved him in Spanish. The hosts then went after Nitro, informing him that he would never get a hotter woman than Melina, and telling him he should marry her already. Nitro agreed with the first statement, but the talk of marriage made him uncomfortable.
The hosts were mildly interested to learn that Johnny Nitro was a Tough Enough winner. Nitro played it off, saying that being paired with Melina and Joey Mercury was a much bigger break than the Tough Enough victory. The only caller was an inarticulate wrestling fan who was way too excited about the way Nitro beat up John Cena on Raw Monday night.
All in all, Nitro and Melina were very polished and respectable talk show guests. Nitro doesn't have the credibility to headline Raw by the time WrestleMania rolls around, but there's no reason why this tandem shouldn't be leading up the heel side of WWE in 2008.
The TNA Pay-per-view Drinking Game: It is only a month until the next TNA pay-per-view event, so that's plenty of time for all you wrestling fans to prepare for Final Resolution 2007. That also gives you and your buddies plenty of notice and time to stock up for the official Blog Factor TNA Pay-Per-View Drinking Game.
1) Begin pay-per-view.
2) Whenever director Keith Mitchell misses an important spot in a match, take a drink.
3) Have a designated sober person swing by an hour into the show. This person calls 911, puts away the leftover booze, lets the paramedics in, holds the door as the EMT's roll the participants out on gurneys and locks up after the room's been cleared.
Please drink responsibly.
We'll be back soon with a WWE Armageddon Preview.
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Updated Wednesday, December 6, 3:45 p.m.
At the insistence of management, it's time to take a break from tricking out my MySpace profile to update the mighty Blog Factor.
WSX: According to Black Label Society (and Zakk Wylde wouldn't lie to us) Wrestling Society X will make its MTV debut in eight weeks, on Tuesday night, January 30th at 10:30 PM. That would put the new WSX venture on opposite the second half of ECW on Sci-Fi. That's both good and bad for the rookie promotion. The bad news is that they're directly competiong with another wrestling show. The good news is that WSX will be on as part of the MTV "10 Spot", a prestigious timespot that averages over a 1.0 rating. All WSX has to do is hold onto most of that audience, and they're within striking distance of TNA's Impact ratings (or even ECW's ratings).
TNA: The rumors out of Orlando are that the problems with last month's "Genesis" pay-per-view weren't necessarily the fault of the booking committee. The main event was cut ten minutes short as an ad-lib called by Kurt Angle or Samoa Joe (depending on who you believe) and the finish to the NWA Title was botched by Sting or referee Rudy Charles (again, depending on who you believe.) The trouble is, people within TNA have delivered enough alibis for the failures Jeff Jarrett and Vince Russo over the years that these rumors have to be taken with a grain of salt, if not the entire salt shaker.
Besides, it doesn't matter whose fault "Genesis" was. What's important is whether TNA can improve its woeful prime-time ratings and maintain the improvement in their buyrates at this weekend's "Turning Point" show. So far, there hasn't been a ratings increase, and the lineup for Sunday isn't setting the world on fire.
ECW: Wasn't the original plan to make the new Extreme Championship Wrestling a developmental for Raw and Smackdown? You know, you take the semi-talented young guys, put them in with the grizzled ECW veterans and WWE guys who are glad to have roster spots, and see who breaks out of the pack.
Well, it hasn't worked that way. We're six months into the ECW experiment, and it's produced one potential breakout star for Raw and Smackdown. Of course, I'm talking about CM Punk. But that hardly counts, because those people watching Ohio Valley Wrestling knew that Punk was ready for the big time a year ago, no matter what Triple H thoughts. Mike Knox is a good enough talker for a midcard spot on Smackdown, but not a good worker. Elijah Burke is an undercard wrestler who can talk. None of the other newbies are getting television time. Where's the development? Anyone?
We'll talk more ECW this week on the "Real Deal" audio show, and don't miss the TNA "Turning Point" preview later this week.
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Updated Thursday, November 9, 5:50 p.m.
Wrestling writers are sometimes criticized for nitpicking a promotion's booking without bringing any contributing helpful suggestions to the discussion. In this week's Torch Newsletter, editor Wade Keller and senior columnist Bruce Mitchell have good solid booking ideas to help improve WWE and TNA (respectively).
In order to complement their hard work, the Blog Factor has some ideas on how to freshen up one of the more stale acts on the stale WWE roster. Eugene Dinsmore finally turned heel this past Monday on Raw. Now WWE has a mentally challenged bad guy, something the promotion hasn't done since the days of George "The Animal" Steele back in the early 1980's. While wrestling fans may not be politically correct, poking fun at the differently abled is guaranteed to rub people the wrong way. Fortunately, there are a number of different directions for WWE to take Eugene Dinsmore's character, if Vince McMahon and the creative staff do some lateral thinking.
- In homage to cheesy sitcoms of the past, make Dinsmore play the duel roles of Eugene and Eugene's smart younger brother Nick. Nick, a talented amateur wrestler, can arrive in WWE to put his big bro back on the right path through a series of backstage skits.
- Cut Dinsmore's hair, give him a generic mask, bodysuit and gimmick, put him with Armando Alejandro Estrada, and put the Eugene gimmick out of our misery once and for all.
- Have Eugene flip all the way out and turn into one of his favorite wrestlers from the early 1990's, Doink the Evil Clown. WWE still holds the rights to the character, and Dinsmore's done the gimmick before.
- Eugene has another nervous breakdown and Uncle Eric Bischoff has him committed to a "special" hospital where they give Eugene experimental drugs that cure his condition and make him smart. Yes, this is a direct ripoff of the classic novel Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, but I won't tell anyone if you won't. Smart Eugene returns to Raw and outwits Jonathan Coachman and Eric Bischoff to become the new evil Raw General Manager, then goes into an extended feud with Mick Foley before getting hit in the head and losing his extensive brain power. (Come on, six months worth of unfunny backstage skits having nothing to do with pro wrestling? This is right up WWE's alley.)
Oh, and if the WWE writers need advice on how to script a nervous breakdown, there's a crazy…er, eccentric character backstage they could look to for some inspiration.
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Updated Friday, October 27, 5:02 p.m.
So, last night was an important show for Total Nonstop Action, as the company began its big run to the one man everyone is dying to see, the titanic battle between the Olympic Hero and the Big & Tall Undefeated Samoan Wrassler of the Year.
But that was the final segment of the hour. The first segment saw one of the classic wrestling, where the strong young babyface challenger calls out the wily heel champion, demanding a title shot. The heel champion promises the challenger a title shot…just not anytime soon. (Boo!) Then the heel produces a weapon he'd been hiding on his person, and beats down the poor babyface challenger.
Wait! You mean Sting was supposed to be the good guy last night when he quoted Tony Montana, refused to grant former champ Christian Cage a title shot, and then wore out Captain Charisma with a baseball bat is supposed to be the good guy? Ay yi yi… Yeah, Sting likes to write his own material, but shouldn't someone have clued him in to how bad this looked?
On the bright side, as confusing as last's night's Reverse Inside Outside Upside Down Battle Royal was, it was still more fun than watching WWE's flagship show, Monday Night Raw. It was kind of exciting to watch one of the top heels in American pop culture make his return trip to Raw, until he spoke into the microphone.
Mr. Spears is probably one of the most annoying, unpopular faux celebrities on the planet, someone who has yakked his way into a longer public approval rating than the American Congress. Does he really need a McMahon-McMahon-Gewirtz promo to get people to hate him? Especially when it's the same heel pabulum we get from any other heel in any other twenty minute opening segment?
Hey, I know K-Fed needs the publicity for his new album (and having Jonathan Coachman endorse the disc on WWE.com was a stroke of genius), but why would anyone trust WWE to write their material for them? The company can't figure out how to make their top babyfaces, Triple H and Shawn Michaels, likable. How were they planning to improve upon an American original like Kevin Federline?
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Updated Wednesday, October 4, 5:32 p.m.
Last night, WWE changed the main event of Sunday's "No Mercy" Smackdown brand pay-per-view on five days notice. This was supposed to be Bobby Lashley's first shot at being top babyface for a major show. Now, he'll have to share those honors with Dave "Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down" Batista.
Before uninformed wrestling fans dump on Lashley for his lack of skill, his demotion isn't happening through any fault of his own. It's the fault of the genius WWE creative team. Don't believe me? Fine. Let's try a little exercise together. We're all regular Smackdown viewers here. Tell us everything you know about Bobby Lashley.
What, you're stuck already? Fine, I'll kick things off.
- He's African-American.
- He's got a shaved head.
- He's jacked to the gills.
Ummm...
- He's a former United States Champion.
- He uses Ron Simmons' old finishing move, The Dominator.
- He's from Colorado Springs.
- He's some kind of All-American in some sport or another.
Whew, that was exhausting. But there's got to be more to Lashley than that. Let's check his profile on WWE.com! Hmmm. Nope. Guess not.
You have to wonder how Lashley's going to fit in during his special guest appearance on the other network Monday night. You know, the network that says "Characters Welcome"? Poor Bobby won't have a place to dress.
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Updated Saturday, September 16, 6:38 p.m.
NCAA Separation Saturday: For those of us who watch American college football, that was one hellacious game earlier today between LSU and Auburn. Auburn's defense shut down a really good Louisiana State offense that kept on fighting and ended the game six yards away from beating LSU. There were probably more exciting games today, but none of them were harder fought.
Sorry, went off on a tangent.
Jarretts Just Don't Understand: For the past few years, TNA owner/booker/champion Jeff Jarrett has had the goal of being the Stone Cold Steve Austin of Total Nonstop Action, the badass dude who doesn't take crap from anybody and always comes through the end.
If Jeff Jarrett or any of Jeff Jarrett's friends, family members or cronies don't understand why this will never work, all you have to do is watch Thursday night's episode of TNA Impact on Spike TV. They're repalying the show later tonight.
One of the big stories on that show was Jeff Jarrett's desire to get out of his match with Samoa Joe at No Surrender. Fair enough. Jarrett's plan was to get his stooge on the Championship Committee, Larry Zbyszko, to cancel the match. Jarrett had already conspired with the "Living Legend" to steal the title in the first place, back in June.
But the thing it, Stone Cold Steve Austin was the consummate loner. Except for his heel run in 2001, Austin never needed a stooge. The person who used stooges and tried to weasel out of matches was Austin's arch enemy, Vince McMahon. That makes sense, because Jarrett has the same level of control within TNA that Mr. McMahon has in WWE.
Unfortunately, as we saw Monday night on Raw, no one cares about Vince McMahon anymore either.
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Updated Tuesday, September 5, 3:36 p.m.
Full Circle: Obviously, we all watched WWE Raw last night. But how many of you flipped over every so often to check out the college football game on ESPN?
The 24 hour sports network decided to create a special viewing experience for last night's Floirida State vs. Miami tilt, using all the ESPN Network property. You could watch the game on ESPN, watch the multi-screen "Director's View" on ESPN2, or watch the game with alternate commentary from noted wrasslin' hater Colin Cowherd on ESPNU. There was also other game-related material on ESPNNews, ESPN360, ESPN.com and ESPN8 "the Ocho".
That's fine for the opening weekend of the ACC season, but why should real sports get all the fun? WWE likes to stay ahead of the curve on modern technology. Hopefully, it won't be long before we get multiple feeds of important events. As a test case, let's try out the idea with next week's big Triple H vs. Vince McMahon match from Madison Square Garden. Here's my proposed lineup.
USA Network – regular 'ol WWE Raw broadcast.
Sci-Fi Channel – alternate commentary from ECW owner Paul Heyman and special guests of his choosing.
WWE 24/7 – "Dunn Cam" version of Raw. A multi-screen presentation, similar to what WWE director Kevin Dunn sees from the production truck, complete with a bonus camera locked on Dunn's favorite on-air talent, that dreamy Todd Grisham.
WWE.com – Bonus feed of Maria watching paint dry for another two hours.
VIP members who follow Ring of Honor should check back later this week for a very special "Real Deal w/ Pat McNeill" audio update.
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Updated Thursday, August 24, 8:40 p.m.
The Morality Play: About twenty years, veteran character actor Wilford Brimley gave an interview explaining why he liked professional wrestling. Brimley told the interviewer that wrestling was one of the last remaining "morality plays" on television, a place where (eventually) good triumphed over evil.
Flash forward to this week, where WWE owner Vince McMahon has his own official video autobiography, "McMahon", out on DVD. People call Vince McMahon immoral, and there are certainly plenty of examples over the years of McMahon partaking in over-the-top behavior. But Vince McMahon hasn't forgotten his fans, a group that includes a lot of pre-teen and teenage boys. There is one consistent lesson that these impressionable viewers can learn every week on Raw, Smackdown and ECW.
Women are evil.
Look at the facts. You put yourself on the line for them, to show them what a "good friend" you are, and they whack you in the nuts, humiliate you and leave with a rich guy.
You try to make peace with your mortal enemy just to shut them up, and they betray you and go off with your enemy.
They promise to get naked for you, but their boyfriends won't let them.
They cheat on you and humiliate you. They fake pregnancies and cry sexual harassment. They file police reports against you, forcing you to spend your hard-earned money to shut them up.
They use you for money, jobs, television time, and introductions to key people at Playboy magazine, then they go off with their poorer, less macho, younger boyfriends and forget to call you.
Some of them pretend they're not impressed with your good lucks, your obscene wealth, your power, your virile physique and the fact that you're willing to drop your pants for them at a moment's notice and show them what they're dying to see anyway. Who the hell do they think they are?
Listen to WWE, fans. The only people you can trust in this world are the lesbian stalkers. And Pat Patterson.
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Updated Friday, August 18, 6:00 a.m.
A lot of people have been telling me for months that I need to start watch UFC's reality show "The Ultimate Fighter" on Spike TV. I've been deliberately avoiding the program. The main reason is that, as a TORCH columnist, I watch too much television as it is.
But yes, I did finally break down and watch the show last night on Spike TV. The dynamic between Matt Serra and Shonie Carter was fun to watch. And yes, there is one basic lesson that pro wrestling promoters can learn from this show.
Why are so many viewers, especially wrestling fans, hooked on this series? Because every week, the main event has consequences. Somebody wins, somebody loses, and the loser goes home. Too often in pro wrestling, major matches are thrown out there on the weekly television shows with no mention as to how they fit in with the grand scheme of things.
In fairness, over the past couple of months, there has been one televised wrestling program where every single main event match has consequences and is made to feel important, where every main event is viewed based on how it fits in to the championship picture.
If that's the sort of detail that matters to you, maybe you should start watching ECW on Sci-Fi Network every Tuesday night.
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Updated Friday, August 11, 4:08 a.m.
Right now, WWE Smackdown is the weak sister of the three World Wrestling Entertainment brands. The show has drawn mediocre reviews over the past several weeks. One of its top heels, Great Khali, is so awful in the ring that he can't be trusted to work a live match or even to cover and pin an opponent. Two of the three Smackdwon wrestlers who headlined WrestleMania have been moved to other brands, while the third, Rey Mysterio, needs time off to recover from injuries. The freshest new act on Smackdown, Johnny Nitro and Melina Perez, was stolen and transferred over to Raw. In return, Smackdown received spunky diva Ashley Massaro.
Mysterio, who is the most popular Smackdown wrestler and the guy selling the most merchandise on the brand, has been moved so far down the depth chart that he's now feuding with Chavo Guerrero. Meanwhile, the brand has been riddled by medical-related suspensions and holds on wrestlers, which meant that Bobby Lashley, the young babyface WWE has been pushing the hell out of, couldn't perform at the Great American Bash.
The greatest indignity of all for WWE and Smackdown fans is the multiple preemptions of the Smackdown TV show. Major US markets, especially New York, Detroit and Washington DC, have delayed the show for baseball games so often that fans don't where to find the program from week-to-week. WWE has even taken to issuing e-mail notices to fans in the affected areas.
Despite all this, it isn't time to give up on WWE Smackdown. On September 22nd, the show will start airing on the new CW Network, a joint venture of CBS and Time Warner. CW is actually pleased to have Smackdown, judging by the videos hyping the show on CW stations and the CW website. Of course, the videos contain lots of clips of Kurt Angle, Randy Orton and Melina, but it's a start. WWE is also really looking forward to the switch, and to not having to deal with the lame duck UPN Network and their increasingly cranky affiliate stations.
Plus, let's not forget that Smackdown is in the final year of its current television deal. Vince McMahon will be looking to impress CW Network and NBC Universal in order to pick up some leverage during the upcoming round of negotiations. The CW debut also falls right in the middle of WWE's hard sell for No Mercy, the next Smackdown brand pay-per-view. WWE will be looking to put its best foot forward going into the fall.
Business is going to pick up on Smackdown, but you might have to wait a few weeks before noticing a difference.
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Updated Sunday, July 30, 4:08 p.m.
If you missed the Great American Bash, well, you didn't really, because three of the top four matches from the pay-per-view took place this weekend on free television. It's a good value for Smackdown viewers, but it doesn't positively reinforce anyone''s decision to order the company's pay-per-views.
Here's what I didn't like. Chavo Guerrero is giving a "satellite interview" and says he's not in Detroit. Michael Cole, who should know that Chavo is in Detroit, doesn't call Chavo on it, so when Chavo comes out and interferes in the main event, he looks like an idiot. This was poorly thought out.
Vito actually showed some enthusiasm this week in his squash match and is starting to havce fun with his character, which is the only way this stands a chance of getting over. Kennedy's latest fluke win over Batista had a slightly awkward finish, but otherwise wasn't too bad. The debuts of Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke were good. Terkay's gimmick has real potential, and WWE has gotten better at aping the while Ultimate Fighter gimmick since the Charles Wright/Kama Mustafa deal in the mid-90's. The over-the-top King Booker entrance has crossed the line into being too long and too drawn out. It's a good gimmick for Booker and Sharmelle, and Booker will be a fine transitional champion. Kudos to Rebecca for doing her best to make the Diva Search segments a little more entertaining.
This show reminded me of the Bash in that the main matches featured good, competent work and came up as uninspiring. A slight thumbs up, and a show worth watching if you're trying to catch up on Smackdown going into SummerSlam.
Updated Monday, July 17th, 6:20 p.m.
WWE puts out three hours of live wrestling television per week, and it's easy to forget how perilous live television can be. The company relearned that lesson on Saturday night when big monster strongman Mark Henry, known for injuring four good Smackdown wrestlers (in the storyline, people), shredded his patella tendon while doing basic spots against noted powerhouse Rey Mysterio. So much for the scheduled Dave Batista-Mark Henry match this Sunday at WWE's Great American Bash.
Vince McMahon and his crew are hastily attempting to put together a new main event caliber match for the big show in Indianapolis. We'll know soon enough who will be replacing Mark Henry in the big match, but there's no reason we can't pass the time with some idle speculation on the leading contenders.
- Ken Kennedy. Booking 101 dictates then when you're making a last-minute substitution on a major show, you plug in the top wrestler available. On the Smackdown side, that's Mis-tah Kennedy. Kennedy has struggled since his return, but he has the size to make a convincing opponent for Batista, plus it's as good a way as any to wrap up Kennedy's undefeated streak.
- Sabu. Hey, don't blame me. Putting Sabu in important matches against career WWE wrestlers is the latest rage. Besides, can you imagine yourself turning away from the car wreck that would be Batista vs. Sabu? Maybe we could contest this match under "Extreme Rules".
Yeah, you could go with Big Show here, but Show needs to remain undefeated until Van Dam comes back, and Batista shouldn't be losing either, so that doesn't work.
- JBL. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are on the shelf, but surely Vince McMahon has given some thought to letting Smackdown's most hated heel risk his health and return for one more shot at The Animal. Then again, that would leave either Steve Romero or Sho Funaki as the color commentator, and most of us wrasslin' writers couldn't handle that prospect without a bottle of absinthe nearby.
-Kane. If you go back seven months to Armageddon, there's some history between Big Dave and the Big Red Machine. Plus, now that Kane has killed off Fake Kane and his movie is out of theaters, it's not like the big lug has anything else to do. This would be my pick.
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Updated Sunday, July 9th, 5:10 p.m.
Due to baseball preemptions, WWE Smackdown aired last night in this market. After watching two hours of Smackdown, and the July 4th episode of ECW, it's obvious that there needs to be some sort of change.
Let's start at the top. John "Bradshaw" Layfield is running roughshod over play-by-play man Michael Cole, mowing down whole groups of people with casual racial slurs, and generally controlling the tone and tenor of WWE's sole primetime network show.
This is not to say that Layfield is an awful color commentator. He's doing a fine job of getting across the undercard angles. JBL may talk a good game about how big men can destroy smaller wrestlers, but he acts genuinely interested in the Psicosis vs. Super Crazy and Kendrick/London vs. Pitbulls matches that are on tap for the Great American Bash, and he has been pushing the hell out of both of them.
Still, after mediocre ECW and Smackdown shows, WWE really needs to shake things up on next week's broadcasts. And there's a perfect solution for it. Have the newly heel Paul Heyman trade Tazz back to Smackdown for JBL. Let Layfield do the ringside commentary for ECW, and put Tazz back next to Cole where he belongs. Tazz won't have to shill for ECW, JBL can rip the silliness of the modern ECW without having to break character, and Cole will be able to get a word in edgewise. The only loser in that scenario is Joey Styles, and JoJo is just there to collect his check at this point.
===
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From McNeill's Mailbag:
Mr. McNeill,
In your honest opinion how long do you think the "new and improved" ECW will be around?
- GlitzY2J
Well, WWE is supposed to do their second ECW-themed pay-per-view of the year on the first Sunday of December. So I imagine they plan to continue through then.
===
If you love our website's polls (and who doesn't?), here's a special treat for you non-subscribers. This is your opportunity to weigh in on the Pat McNeill Zone's "Question of the Week".
Who was the best wrestler never to hold a major World Title? (Yes, the NWA World Title is considered a "major" title for the sake of this question.)
Your responses are welcome via e-mail.
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Updated Friday, June 9th, 10:00 p.m.
As we begin one of the biggest wrestling weekends in recent memory, WWE and ECW have some catching up to do. TNA has a sellout crowd at the New Alhambra in Philadelphia tonight that just got done watching Samoa Joe defeat AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. Tomorrow night, down in TNA country in Orlando, Heyman disciple Gabe Sapolsky will try to get on the scoreboard with a big ROH/FIP combined show headlined by Bryan Danielson defending the ROH strap against Colt Cabana.
In 2005, this weekend was all about a battle between ECW reunion shows, a battleground which gave Heyman all sorts of advantage. It won't be that easy in 2006, now that WWE is trying to operate ECW as a going concern. Heyman's challenge is to keep the Hammerstein crowd pumped up about the notion of John Cena, Edge and Randy Orton stepping through the ropes on an ECW show.
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Yeah, yeah. Bruce Mitchell is right. The Do Fixer versus Blood generation match from Ring of Honor's "Supercard of Honor" show is impossibly good. I know ROH wants its matches to be "American puro", but it's difficult when the real puro guys kick so much ass.
But while we're here, there's a couple of other matches that deserve to be singled out. ROH's "Best in the World" show on March 25th featured a great main event, with Bryan Danielson and Samoa Joe tagging against KENTA and Naomichi Marufuji from Pro Wrestling NOAH. Not only is this a stellar match, but it also sets the table for KENTA's return to the States next weekend.
Also, after reviewing Volume 1 of "Shimmer: Women Athletes", I can declare with confidence that Sara Del Rey versus Mercedes Martinez is the best wrestling match between two women that I have ever seen. And I saw Joan Collins versus Linda Evans on Dynasty.
====
From McNeill's Mailbag:
Which band was bigger in the 80s, Europe or Asia?
-M2J
While I certainly don't want to disrespect Europe's contribution to 80's rock, Asia's self-titled 1982 debut album, with its murderers' row of Heat of the Moment followed by Only Time Will Tell and Sole Survivor, carries the day.
Yes, these are my readers. Eat your heart out, Bill Simmons.
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Updated Thursday, June 1st, 2:05 p.m.
Hold the phone! I have a vision. A vision of how the now-defunct Extreme Championship Wrestling can be brought back from the dead.
It won't take much to bring ECW back to life. All you need is:
- a two-hour prime time "WWE vs. ECW" special on USA Network
- another "One Night Stand" pay-per-view to relaunch the brand.
- the use of WWE World Champion John Cena, World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio, Edge, Lita and Mick Foley
- to move WWE stars Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle over to the ECW roster – permanently.
- to steal the lead play-by-play man from Raw and the lead commentator from Smackdown.
- a live hour of prime time television, every week.
- an ECW brand pay-per-view every six months.
- twenty-two house shows in two months, more than Raw or Smackdown.
What? You mean that's what Paul Heyman and Vince McMahon already have planned?
Here's the thing. If anyone outside the McMahon family had proposed allocating all these resources to ECW three months ago, they would have been laughed out of Titan Tower. The rebirth of ECW already has more WWE infrastructure and attention than the WCW invasion of five years ago.
But what about the people watching the twenty-two ECW house shows and/or the ECW show on the Sci-Fi Network? Outside of Terry Funk, Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle, ECW will feature a group of wrestlers that WWE has already deemed not good enough to play on the first team (WWE Raw) or the second team (WWE Smackdown).
This creates an interesting paradox. If the ECW wrestlers are inferior to WWE's performers, it's Vince McMahon having faith in Paul Heyman to get these wrestlers over, and a vote of no confidence in his handpicked creative team's ability to draw fans with better talent. If the ECW wrestlers are as good as or better than WWE's, it's a vote of no confidence in his talent selection process, and specifically in John Laurinaitis's roster management skills.
But, you ask, what if the both Paul Heyman and the wrestlers are inferior to WWE, and the product flops? Well, that would mean that Vince McMahon was wrong. So that won't happen.
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Quick DVD Viewing Report: If you're a Ring of Honor fan, and you want to check out what's going on with ROH's spinoff fed, Full Impact Pro, go grab a copy of the FIP "Payback" show from June 2005 on DVD. It's the first FIP disc to give you an "ROH length" event (almost three hours). The main event is a good (and fun) match between Colt Cabana and CM Punk. Your reaction to this show is a good indication of whether you'll enjoy the FIP product in general.
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By the way, if you can't get enough of the McNeill Cult of Personality, my own custom radio station is up on Pandora.
Go to Pandora.com, look up the shared stations (you might have to register first) and then plug in my e-mail address, patmcneill (at) pwtorch.com. In mere moments, you'll be listening to my own custom blend of eclectic tunes.
Or you could use the site to create a station more in tune with your own musical tastes. But what fun would that be?
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Updated Wednesday, May 24, 9:29 p.m.
Our sources in TNA inform me that Kevin Nash is indeed medically cleared to wrestle, and that he has undergone a thorough cardiological exam. So I feel obligated to issue the following clarification.
I was wrong when I wrote that Kevin Nash has a bad heart. I meant to write Kevin Nash has no heart.
The TORCH apologizes for my error.
====
It's good to see Mick Foley dropping a little weight and preparing for his next series of matches. It's a pity that the storyline he's involved with isn't more original.
Mick Foley used to take his storylines and promos very seriously. His original ECW heel turn in 1995 was well-crafted, both by Foley and by Paul Heyman, to take advantage of Foley's real emotions and use them in order to make money.
In fact, the upcoming tag match at One Night Stand on June 11th resembles the main event of Novemeber to Remember 1995 at the old ECW Arena. The only difference is that Foley will be teaming with Edge instead of Raven.
Paul Heyman and friends will have a tough time recapturing the magic of the 1995 feud. Mick Foley, Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer are all eleven years older, and have accumulated a lot of mileage on their buddies. Instead of wrestling in front of a stoked South Philly crowd, they will be in front of a jaded group of New York fans and pay-per-viewers who have seen all the hardcore spots you can imagine, twice.
Fellow columnist Bruce Mitchell asked, rhetorically, why Monday's Paul Heyman promo on Raw didn't discuss anything but the joys of hardcore wrestling. It's simple. The old ECW had world class wrestling to back up all its chairshots, from the likes of Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio , Chris Jericho and Dean Malenko. Even last year, One Night Stand at least payed lip service to the workrate of Extreme wrestlers past. But this year? Chris Jericho is gone. Eddie Guerrero passed away. Benoit is hurt. So is Rey Mysterio. Who is left to deliver the good technical wrestling match on June 11th?
That's why it's important that Foley, Funk and Dreamer wake up the echoes of ECW shows past with their match on June 11th. There's not a lot left in the ECW bag of tricks.
======================================================
Updated Wednesday, May 10, 2:09 p.m.
Worst contract negotiations ever. In other news...
Over the years, I've had occasion to talk to many professional wrestlers about this business we cover. All of them, once you draw them out, have strong opinions as to what matters most in a wrestling promotion. Those opinions are as varied as the wrestlers themselves.
But there's one thing you can count on. Every wrestler I've ever talked to has enough of an ego to believe that their specialty is vital to a promotion's success. The highspot kings believe that athletic high-risk moves bring in the fans. The guys who take bumps on thumbtacks believe that hardcore wrestling is still the way to go. The bleeders tell me that no one should be a headliner unless they know how to get a little color at the right time. The great talkers wax eloquent on the importance of promos in getting fans to buy tickets. Plus-sized wrestlers tell me that fans aren't impressed with the skinny guys who wrestle in tennis shoes.
(And for that matter, as a former ring announcer, this columnist believes that a good ring announcers improves a show, while a bad ring announcer can kill it.)
Why do you need to know this? Well, the next time former WWE and WCW champion Kevin Nash tells a wrestling reporter that you can't be a wrestling star unless you're a guy whose size makes people turn heads at airports, you'll know exactly what Kevin Nash specializes in.
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If you love our website's polls, here's a special treat for you non-subscribers. This is your first opportunity to weigh in on the Pat McNeill Zone's "Question of the Week".
The hot-tempered Jim Cornette announced earlier this week that he has an agreement to work for Total Nonstop Action.
Who will be the first TNA wrestler or employee to be physically assaulted by Cornette?
Your responses are welcome via e-mail.
===
Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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