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KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
SEPTEMBER 11, 2009
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

WHAT HAPPENED

-The show opened with Undertaker's ring entrance. As he stepped into the ring, Todd Grisham said, "The Undertaker is back." Jim Ross asked if he is destined to be the new WWE Heavyweight Champion. The crowd stood as Taker said, "The sands of time have fallen slowly through the hour glass, but in two days I will reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship." Fans cheered. He said he will cast his shadow of darkness over Smackdown. He said he's sure that C.M. Punk by now has been growing very tired and constantly waking up in the middle of the night in his own sweat consumed by fear because he knows that his breaking point will be realized when he feels the grip of Hell's Gate. He said when Punk submits to him, not only will he relinquish the World Heavyweight Championship, but he will personally hand him his soul and the symphony of lies shall end. Punk's music played and he walked out onto the stage, laughing with bobbing shoulders.

Punk began: "Symphony of lies? Well, if that's not the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is." He said he sees through the smoke and mirrors. He said if Hardy was the Charismatic Enabler, Taker is something worse. He said the fans believe in him, that he has magical powers from the dark side, that he actually has a chance at taking his title. He said he has an impressive list of victories such as Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and Shawn Michaels. (But not Triple H?) He said he's stronger than all of them. He said he's not after Undertaker's soul; he's instead after one thing - making him tap out. He fantasized how about fans would react to losing Hardy and then having their "heroic icon" submit to the Anaconda Vice. He said they'll retreat to their little world and grab four 40 ounces of liquid courage and make themselves feel better. He said the fans will get a glimpse of it when he makes Matt Hardy tap out later. He begged Taker not to interfere.

Taker said he got something wrong. He said fans won't be saying "Just say no." They'll be saying "Rest in Peace."

1 -- FINLAY vs. MIKE KNOX - Belfast Brawl

Knox took early control including brawling at ringside. When Finlay brought a chair into the ring, Knox kicked it into his face. They cut to a very early break. [c] Knox was still in control after the break. He bashed Finlay at ringside several times with a trash can. Finlay made a brief comeback, but Knox went back to beating Finlay in the ring with trash cans and a table. No surprise that the match ended with Finlay scoring a KO with his shillelagh out of nowhere. Ross said those were two of the toughest men on Friday Night Smackdown.

WINNER: Finlay in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4

-Backstage Michelle McCool met Dolph Ziggler at the door of the Diva's locker room. They knocked and Layla walked out. She said Maria wasn't there. McCool asked Ziggler what he sees in her. She asked, "What I meant was why would you be with a ditzy little girl like Maria when you could be with a sexy woman like me?" She then pretended to loser her balance and grabbed his ass. He held her up and gave her her crutch and backed off. Layla walked up to McCool and showed her that she got the picture. That would work if not for the fact that Smackdown is televised and Maria can see for herself or hear from others that the picture was staged and deceptive.

[Q3] [c]

-Highlights aired of Raw is Bob Barker.

X - DAVID HART SMITH (w/Tyson Kidd, Natalya) vs. THE GREAT KHALI (w/Ranjin Singh)

If Khali and Singh are brothers, why do the have a different last name? Before the match could begin, Kane attacked Khali from behind. Khali came back with a chop to block Kane hitting him with a Singapore Cane. Then he gave him his Punjabi Plunge. Nice little angle - and quick - to give a little juice to their likely debacle at Breaking Point.

-They showed Chris Jericho and Big Show heading to the entrance tunnel. [c]

-WWE Fact: Last Friday, Smackdown was the no. 1 entertainment show for all male viewers, beating every show on cable and broadcast TV.

2 -- CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW vs. CRYME TYME

When JTG got an early flurry against Jericho, sending him to the floor, they cut to a very early break again. [c] At 7:00 Jericho finally tagged Show. Shad shortly thereafter also tagged in. When he leaped off the second rope at Show, Show bashed him in the chest with a slap punch. JTG and Jericho picked up the pace at 11:00. Show tried to interfere, but Shad knocked him out of the ring and then hit him with a shoulder tackle at ringside. Jericho tried to steal a win with his feet on the top rope for leverage. The ref discovered the infraction. JTG almost scored a pin seconds later. He then skinned the cat back into the ring, but Show hit him with his signature KO punch leading to Jericho scoring the pin.

WINNERS: Jericho & Show in 13:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Pretty good start to finish, with a nice structure and build-up and an especially nice sequence of near falls and chaos at the end.

[Q5]

-Vince McMahon approached G.M. Teddy Long backstage. He said Smackdown is good, but he didn't build his empire on good, he built it on excellence, and that's not what he's seeing out there. He asked him what he's going to do. Long said he has a huge surprise next week that will change the face of Smackdown. McMahon seemed intrigued. He asked if he had any plans for Breaking Point. Long said he has to think about it and he'd have something good. McMahon said he didn't want good, he wanted excellent. Long said he'd deliver. McMahon then asked what happened to his picture that used to hang in his office. Long said he doesn't know but he'll find out. The camera stayed on Long for a few seconds who was just frozen by the pressure and insanity of dealing with McMahon. He learned that look from the writing team backstage.

[c]

-It's a bit shocking to see Eddie Guerrero (vs. JBL) and Brock Lesnar (vs. Big Show when the ring collapsed) appearing in the ad for the "Best of Smackdown" DVD which hits shelves on Tuesday.

3 -- CHARLIE HAAS vs. JOHN MORRISON

Haas showed off three different armbars in the minute of offense he was given in this three minute enhancement match for Morrison. Morrison hit a shooting star press for a two count. Haas hit an armbar DDT for a two count seconds later. Morrison countered Haas trying to drive his knee into his shoulder off the top rope and then hit Starship Pain for the win.

WINNER: Morrison in 3:00.

-Morrison addressed the crowd. He talked about beating Rey for the IC Title. He threw to images of his post-win celebration. Morrison said, "Rey, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You are a great competitor and an even better champion." He said anytime he wants a rematch, he just needs to ask. Dolph Ziggler then stepped onto the stage with mic in hand. Ziggler complained that he earned an IC Title match and then he and his buddy Rey decided to have an IC Title match with each other and now he's the IC Champ. Morrison said that's exactly what happened. He asked if Dolph wanted to lose to Rey a third time. Dolph said he was just softening him up, and third time's a charm. Dolph said he deserves to have a title match. Morrison said he's welcome to that match "right here, right now." Ziggler said, "No, no, no, not now." He said he wants to have his title match on his terms when he says so. Morrison began throwing out variations of Dolph's name, showing the wit and timing last seen with The Rock. He kept interrupting Dolph as he tried to redeem his ego and clarify his name. He was just messing with him relentlessly, calling him Mr. Ziggles. He encouraged the crowd to join in. He sang, "Mr. Ziggles!" to get the crowd going and we learned there that Morrison cannot sing a lick. Ziggler said, "Stop it right now or I will leave this stage." That's always a great heel tactic, in this case Jericho-like in execution. The crowd taunted Dolph with a "Mr. Ziggles" chant. Dolph backed down slowly. His body language was too subtle to satisfy the crowd. He needed to throw a bit more of a hissy fit to convey to the fans they got under his skin. This felt like a segment between two people still finding their voice on the mic without a lot of experience doing that type of segment, but as imperfect as it was, it's so nice to see these two getting time in this position as they need this type of segment to grow and be tested.

-Josh Matthews interviewed Matt Hardy backstage. Hardy said he and Punk didn't get to finish their business the way he wanted to last week. Hardy said after tonight, Punk will tap out and beg for mercy, just as he will do at Breaking Point to Undertaker. Hardy said Punk will be lucky to make it to Breaking Point. He said when he locked on a submission hold, he's not letting go. [c]

4 -- MELINA vs. LAYLA (w/Michelle McCool)

Ross and Grisham had a fun exchange about pronouns. Vince McMahon doesn't let announcers use pronouns. He wants full names (or first names in the case of women, who often don't have last names) used each time to drive home the identity of the wrestlers - I mean, sports entertainers - and avoid any ambiguity. McCool used a crutch jab to KO Melina and lead to Layla getting a quick win.

WINNER: Layla in 2:00.

[Q7]

-Matthews interviewed R-Truth. He asked about Drew McIntire. Truth said in his neighborhood, if you kick his dog, he kicks your cat. Really? You'd kick someone's innocent cat because of what they did to your dog? Seriously? How about you kick the person who kicked your dog instead of taking it out on his poor cat? Where do these saying come from? Truth also said he's going to be all over him like a monkey on a cupcake. Drew then attacked Truth on the interview set. [c]

-A replay aired of the McIntire attack. Why? Didn't it just air three minutes earlier? Was it so important that it had to repeated just for those people who tuned in at this very minute?

-Ross and Grisham stood center-ring and plugged the Breaking Point line-up.

-C.M. Punk's ring intro took place for the main event. Clips aired of Undertaker attacking Punk last week on Smackdown. [c]

[Q8]

5 -- MATT HARDY vs. C.M. PUNK

Matt worked over Punk's legs early. Punk escaped a figure-four leglock, which Hardy sold awkwardly, and then Punk shoved him shoulder-first into the ringpost twice. Hardy spilled to the floor at 4:00 and they cut to a break. [c] Punk methodically worked over Hardy for a few minutes with mat holds and a couple legdrops in a row. Punk hit a knee in the corner at 11:00, but Matt reversed momentum immediately afterward and applied a figure-four out of nowhere for a dramatic moment in the match. Punk cried out in pain and eventually reached the bottom rope. He got up gimpy. Hardy clotheslined him in the corner and dropped him to the mat. When Punk rose, he hit a Side Effect and then signaled for a Twist of Fate. Punk instead set up a Go To Sleep. Hardy reversed it and applied a half Boston crab. Punk was caught mid-ring. Punk again reached the bottom rope after some damage was done. Punk roundhouse kicked Hardy to the side of his head and then applied the Anaconda Vice for the win.

WINNER: Punk via tapout in 14:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Good TV match. Right in line with what you'd expect from these two putting on a really honest good effort and given the time to tell a story. Hardy still seems short of 100 percent in his movements and in terms of his timing and wind.

-As Punk celebrated his win, the lights went out and then came back on. Punk's belt was missing from his arms and appeared in Undertaker's 100 feet away on the stage. Punk looked freaked out.

QUOTEBOOK

Jim Ross on The Undertaker: "His Hell's Gate submission would encourage Satan to move north."

Undertaker: "Submission is the only alternative to an eternity of pain."

C.M. Punk: "You are like this generation's 'Alice in Wonderland.' You see, 'Alice in Wonderland' took an entire generation of worthless hippies and led them to experiment with magic mushrooms and recreational hallucinogens."

C.M. Punk: "You're all going to crawl into a bottle, maybe pop three or four extra pain pills, just to numb yourself from the reality that your hero, the Undertaker, tapped out."

Todd Grisham on Finlay: "Don't let the music fool you, folks, this is one of the most brutal folks in all of WWE."

Mike Knox on predators feasting on the shed tail of a lizard: "Tonight, Finlay, hunger won't be satiated by just the tail. I want it all."

Jim Ross: "Mike Knox seems like the kind of man who would enjoy a headache; it gives him more to analyze."

Jim Ross on Big Show's fist: "It's like getting hit in the face with a microwave."

Todd Grisham: "That's what they say."

Jim Ross in response: "We're not allowed to use pronouns out here."

Todd Grisham in response: "You! Knock it off."

R-Truth: "Where I'm from, you kick my dog, and I'm going to kick my cat. He gets no ghetto pass from me."

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