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KELLER'S ECW REPORT
AUGUST 26, 2009
LIVE FROM PHOENIX, ARIZ.
AIRED ON SYFY NETWORK

-They opened with clips from Summerslam of Christian beat William Regal in seconds with the Kill Switch, followed by Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson attacking Christian.

-The ECW opening aired, and then Josh Matthews and Matt Striker introduced the show.

-Regal, Kozlov, and Jackson walked to the ring as Regal's music played. Regal said the fans are looking at the reason ECW will never be the same. Regal said "you people" lack the creativity, imagination, and influence that he possesses to shock the world and unite Jackson and Kozlov, "two incredible specimens." He then addressed Christian and said he hoped he was listening, because the countdown clock on his ECW Title reign is nearly at zero. Christian's music interrupted. He said, "The only thing about to reach zero is the amount of people watching this show if you keep talking." He said Regal left out the fact that he beat him in eight seconds. Regal said he wasn't ready and asked where the sportsmanship was in that. Christian repeated "eight seconds" a dozen times and said it broke a record. Regal called Christian "sunshine" and demanded a rematch that he said he deserves. Christian asked if he minded if he called him Bill. Regal said, "Don't call me Bill." He said that's a name for commoners, and he's not a commoner. He said he should call him William. Christian called him "Bill" anyway. Christian said he wants to move on to other challengers whom he hasn't defeated in eight seconds. Tiffany's music played and she walked onto the stage.

Tiffany, who insultingly doesn't have a last name, stood next to Christian and said Regal has to earn a title shot. She said he can face Christian and if she wins, he'll get a title shot. She said that match is later tonight. Then she gave her signature "I did a good job, didn't I?!?!" head-bob that she does after every one of her announcements.

-They went to clips of the Goldust-Sheamus feud and Striker hyped that it was up next. [c]

(1) Goldust wrestled Sheamus to a double countout in 4:00. Good action with a renewed Goldust continuing to show better agility and speed than he has in years. (*1/4) [c]

-The Bella Twins begged Shelton Benjamin to sing. He did a Louie Armstrong impersonation. That's one of those things someone does and you just can't take them seriously afterward. Zach walked in and asked Shelton to dance. Shelton said he was about to smack his face. Tiffany walked in and told them to stop it. She told Zach to get ready for his tag match. He asked what match that is. She said he's facing Tyler Rex & Yoshi Tatsu. He asked whom his partner was. She said Shelton.

-They showed Mathews and Striker at ringside. They threw to a clip of Hurricane beating Paul Burchill last week. They announced a rematch would air on Superstars this week.

-Courtney Taylor, a new interviewer, asked Paul Burchill for his thoughts on his match against Hurricane. Burchill and his sister, Katie Lea, gave her a hard time. He said if she wants to last longer than a cup of coffee, don't insult his intelligence by calling him The Hurricane. He said his name is Gregory Helms. He said last week he understimated him, but this week it'll be a different story. He said this week he won't be saving anybody, especially himself. Courtney looks like Taylor Wilde from TNA.

-They showed Regal, Jackson, and Kozlov chatting backstage. [c]

[Q3]

(2) Tyler Reks & Yoshi Tatsu beat Zach Ryder & Shelton Benjamin when Tatsu pinned Ryder in 4:00. An inset interview aired before the match with Reks and Tatsu. Reks said he and Tatsu are from opposite sides of the Pacific, but they are on the same vibe. Tatsu then talked and Reks said he had no idea what he said. Tatsu hot-tagged in against Shelton at 3:00. Shelton made a comeback and yanked Ryder into the ring. Ryder threw Tatsu into Shelton, knocking him to the floor. Tatsu caught Ryder with a high roundkick to KO him and score the pin. Good short match. Afterward, Shelton gave Pay Dirt to Ryder in the ring. (*1/4) [c]

[Q4]

-A video package aired of Summerslam Fax Axxess.

(3) William Regal (w/Ezekiel Jackson, Vladimir Kozlov) pinned Christian in 13:00 to earn an ECW Title shot. We got the obligatory "1985 house show time-killer" side headlock from Christian in the opening minute. At 2:00 they cut to a break with Regal regrouping at ringside. [c] The pace picked up after the break. Regal yanked Christian by his arm off the ring apron onto the floor. Christian barely beat the ref's count back into the ring at 8:00. Things picked up considerably from there. At 10:00 Christian made a comeback and hit a top rope dropkick and then a tornado DDT off the ropes leading to a near fall. Christian punched Kozlov unprovoked at ringside at 11:00. Back in the ring Christian went for a Kill Switch, but Regal escaped and Kozlov drove a shoulder into Christian as he hit the ropes. Regal then hit Christian with a running kick to the face and got the three count. Kozlov and Jackson helped Regal to his feet and held his arms in the air afterward. (**3/4)

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