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KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JULY 24, 2009
TAPED IN RICHMOND, VA.
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV
WHAT HAPPENED
HOUR ONE
The show opened with clips of last week’s main event between Jeff Hardy and Chris Jeicho with C.M. Punk at ringside. Then the Smackdown opening montage aired. Jim Ross and introduced the show and hyped Punk vs. Rey Mysterio as the TV main event.
Jeff Hardy made a full ring intro. He then held the mic and told the crowd, “Wow! Greetings and salutations, Richmond, V.A.!” He brought up that last week Punk said he’d become a statistic and that he despises the example he sets for the WWE Universe. Hardy said he’s going to despite it a lot more when he becomes World Heavyweight Champion. He said he stands on his soap box and preaches his straight edge lifestyle and tries to shove it down everybody’s throat, and he’s sick of it. He said on Sunday that will all end.
(1) Jeff Hardy pinned Chris Jericho in 11:00. Hardy clotheslined Jericho over the top rope to the floor at 1:00. When Hardy went for a swinging leg kick at Jericho through the ropes, Jericho caught his legs and yanked him to the floor. They cut to a break. [c] Back from the break, Jericho had Hardy grounded as Ross and Grisham talked about Jericho mystery partner choice to be revealed at Night of Champions. Jericho threw a goofy looking elbow off the second rope that left the announcers speechless since it wasn’t clear what was supposed to make contact. Jericho went for a pin with his feet on the bottom rope. The ref stopped his count when he saw Jericho’s feet on the rope. Hardy went for a Swanton at 6:00, but Jericho moved and then struck quickly with a Lionault for a near fall. The Lionsault is one of those signature moves that just doesn’t look like it’d hurt an old lady 80 percent of the time given the “rolling” soft impact and usually off-target landing. Hardy came back with a swinging kick in the corner, but Jericho caught his legs and went right into a Walls of Jericho. That was a nice sequence. Jericho went for a catapult, but Hardy landed on the ropes and rebounded with a Whisper in the Wind for a near fall. Jericho hit a Code Breaker. Hardy bumped to the floor. Jericho went to him at ringside and tried to pick the limp Hardy up and throw him into the ring for a pin. Jericho did so and scored a two count. Hardy came back with a Twist of Fate a minute later at 10:00. Hardy yanked off his shirt and threw it to the crowd. Jericho knocked Hardy off balance in the top rope and then set up a superplex. Hardy punched out of it, shoved Jericho to the mat, and hit a Swanton Bomb for the clean win. Good TV match. (**3/4)
Backstage Michelle McCool told the make-up woman, “I don’t think people relize how amazing I really am.” She said her track record proves she’s the greatest Diva ever. She told the make-up lady she looks like she’s been around for a while, so she must remember Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, Lita, and Trish. She couldn’t remember her last name, but the make-up lady said, “Stratus.” Michelle said, “I didn’t ask you.” Melina walked up to her and said she invoked her return match, which means at NOC the Women’s Title will be back where it belongs. She then said she looks like she needs more make-up. She threw a ton of make-up powder in her face. She then said with a smile, “I also do hair!” That was a clear-cut case of McCool being a conceited heel and Melina being a funny babyface. [c]
A video package aired on John Morrison featuring highlights of him in the ring along with clips of announcers touting his skills and bright future.
(2) The Great Khali (w/Runjin Singh) pinned Mike Knox in 3:00. Knox’s bodytype is really changing quickly. He’d gained a ton of belly fat and just looks a lot less agile and athletic. A minute into the match, Kane’s ring intro interrupted. He stepped onto the stage and Khali stared back at him. Knox went after Khali from behind. Khali fended him off and took him down with a big boot and finished him with the Punjabi Plunge.
Afterward, Khali called Kane to the ring. Kane obliged, walking to ringside. But then he back-tracked. Grisham wondered aloud if Kane was playing mind games with Khali and questioned whether that was a wise thing to do. [c]
Cryme Tyme defined the word “goat.” It’s an acronym for “Greatest Of All Time.” They talked about the tag team DVD. The Hart Dynasty walked into the picture. Natalya asked Cryme Tyme if their family is on the DVD. Jesse then walked into the picture and said if anyone should be talking about tag teams, it’s him because like the Freebirds, he comes from Badstreet USA. After insulting them, Natalya called Jesse a misfit and said they better not find him getting involved in their match against Cryme Tyme later. Cryme Tyme walked away without Jesse, who then was left to awkwardly say those are his boys.
Dolph Ziggler walked to the ring with Maria. When Ross said Ziggler and Maria “make a striking couple,” Grisham asked, “A striking couple of what?” Ziggler said after Night of Champions, everyone will know him as “Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental Champion.” [c]
(3) Dolph Ziggerl (w/Maria) beat Finlay via countout in 4:00. Ziggler rammed Finlay’s shoulder into the ringpost early and then concentrated his offense on his arm. Ross said Ziggler introduced himself to him five times already today, but he said three less than last time. Finlay came back at 2:00 and hit three hard clotheslines and then a cannonball for a two count. Ross said his style isn’t “overtly fancy,” but it is “fundamentally sound.” Finlay kicked Ziggler into the announce table, then beat him up at ringside. Finlay climbed onto the ring apron to try to beat the ref’s count, but Ziggler dropped him hard onto the mat and then climbed in the ring to beat the count himself as Finlay was counted out. (*)
They showed Jericho chatting with Kane backstage. Ross and Grisham wondered if that had to do with his quest to find a tag championship partner.
Ross hyped that Punk would be issuing a challenge to the WWE Universe next. [c]
HOUR TWO
Punk came to the ring to his full ring entrance. He had a heelish, stand-off-ish demeanor. Punk stepped into the ring and said he was there to challenge the WWE Universe into seeing things his way and to “learn how to just say no.” He said the people who cheer for Jeff Hardy are just slaves to the vices associated with his “living in the moment.” He said he feels bad for his fans because they walk around almost blind and wear their prescriptions on their sleeves like they were badges of honor. “What was it the doctor told you? Take one every four hours, right?” he said. “Aside from myself, there’s not a person in this arena who hasn’t abused prescription medication or abused a recreational drug.” He said he knows it’s hard being Straight Edge.
He said he’s sure no one takes into account the consequences in the long run on their liver. He says it may be fun to drink now, but it spirals out of control to the point where you’re drinking just to feel normal. He turned to the smokers. He said he doesn’t know what’s more disgusting - a smoker pollute his lungs or listen to the smoker convince themselves they can quit whenever they want to. He said it takes a very strong person to quit, but an even stronger person would have never started smoking in the first place. He said he didn’t come out there to be the bearer of bad news, but he figures no one in the crowd will ever get the monkey off their back and quit their vices. He said it starts and can’t happen without learning how to say no to temptation. He challenged the crowd to say no to temptation and learn how to control themselves. Hardy’s music then started.
Hardy walked to the ring and told Punk he’s got a lot of nerve. He said he thinks he’s so right, but he doesn’t know about people could fill a whole book. He said he’s forgotten what it’s like to be human. He said people make mistakes, but people can change. Punk said people say they can change. He then said, “I’m not going to enable you right now.” He said he’s going to do what Hardy should have done a long time ago. “I’m going to just say no.” He then stepped out of the ring. Hardy was left standing. [c]
(4) Eve Torres (w/Cryme Tyme) beat Natalya (w/The Hart Dynasty) in 3:00. Eve and Natalya started. Eve gave Natalya an awkward looking headlock takeover. Not an encouraging start when that trips you up. Natalya put Eve in the surf board. Eve hit a moonsault off the top rope where it was clear that her feet took 99 percent of the impact, but it was good enough for the three count.
Backstage Jericho approach Khali backstage. He said there are a lot of rumors and speculation about who his partner will be. Jericho said Khali is one of the few who deserves the honor of standing next to him. He said he’s one of the finalists. Khali said something. Singh said he said he would love to be tag team champions, but he wouldn’t want his partner to be him. [c]
(5) R-Truth pinned Charlie Haas in 4:00. R-Truth sang his song on his way to the ring. It didn’t look good that the fans in the front row he walked past didn’t seem to care in most instances. Truth scored an early two count, then did a cartwheel seconds later. He sold a knee injury, and Haas seized the chance to take over offense. He wrapped Truth around the ringpost. Ross said Haas seems to usually be missing a little something despite being so fundamentally sound. He said he’s not missing anything tonight, though. That “little something” is charisma and star power, and in this business it’s almost everything. Truth took a beating for a couple minutes, but then stepped out of the way of a charging Haas in the corner and immedately hit his scissors kick for the quick win. (*) [c]
Ross and Grisham stood mid-ring and hyped the line-up for Night of Champions.
Punk’s ring entrance took place. [c]
(5) Rey Mysterio beat C.M. Punk via DQ in 15:00. Mysterio put a mask over the head of a young boy at ringside who had won a contest. His face didn’t make it on the air as Rey put the mask on him before the camera got a good shot of him. Punk slidekicked Rey at ringside, knocking him to the floor at 3:00 and they cut to a break. [c] Ross and Grisham discussed Punk’s comments earlier. Grisham called them disingenuous. Ross said he thinks Punk was sincere. Grisham said it’s not always what you say, but how you say it. Ziggler walked to the ring at 10:00. Ziggler distracted Rey during an offensive flurry giving Punk an opening. Rey came back and went for a 619, but Punk met him with a headbutt. Punk slid Rey headfirst onto the floor. Rey rolled through, avoiding a bad landing. He re-entered the ring and Punk went for Go To Sleep, but Rey punched out of it. Then he connected with the 619 and a springboard splash for a near fall. Ziggler broke up the pin and attacked Rey, causing a DQ. (***)
Afterward, Rey came back against Ziggler and set up a 619, but Punk cut him off. Ziggler stalked Rey as he got up and slammed him to the mat. He then gave him his finisher. Ross declared, “Enough is enough!” As Ziggler set up another move, Hardy ran right past Punk on the ramp and made the save. Punk then returned to the ring and attacked Hardy from behind, giving him the Go To Sleep.
THOUGHTS, OBSERVATIONS, NITPICKS
JERICHO VS. HARDY: This is a big match to give away on TV at the start of the show. What stood out more, though, is that they opened the show hyping Punk vs. Rey, but didn’t build up the Hardy-Jericho match as being something special. This should should have been introduced with an emphatic pronouncement of featuring two huge singles matches...
PUNK VS. MYSTERIO: This show continued to firmly place Punk in the heel category. It was strange to hear Grisham say he didn’t think Punk was sincere. The whole point of Punk’s gimmick is that he’s self-righteous and preachy with a superiority complex, not that he’s a phony. Ross called him on it and he was right... The match itself was what you’d expect from these two - well plotted and well executed. The finish was no surprise, but also made sense, since neither should logically job for the other going into Sunday, and the Ziggler interference adds some heat to his match against Mysterio. They also slipped in a final heelish move by Punk on Hardy. They covered the bases that needed to covered...
OTHER THOUGHTS: I find Runjin Singh the least appealing, most annoying, least needed on air character in WWE in years. There’s just something about him - especially as a babyface, that just seems totally superfluous... Grisham hasn’t given me any material recently on the “Todd Grisham Cliche Watch.” I admit to being mildly disappointed, as the memories of Gorilla Monsoon were fun... Overall, a solid final show before Night of Champions that pushed the right button...
QUOTEBOOK
Jesse to the Hart Dynasty: “Where do you come from, the rough streets of Canadia? What kind of fights you all been in? Snowball fights?”
C.M. Punk: “It’s extremely difficult to be me, but what concerns me now is that none of you realize how much more difficult it is to live the life that you all live.” Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
