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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 7/9: Results, thoughts, observations, nitpicks, and quotebook
Jul 11, 2009 - 3:29:41 PM |
By Wade Keller, Torch editor
KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
JULY 10, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
BOX SCORE BASICS
[Q1]
After a recap of last week's show, the title of the show flashed on the screen: "Foley's Last Stand?" The Impact opening aired.
Mick Foley walked to the ring to his music as Mike Tenay explained that an attempt to settle the differences between Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley didn't go well. He joked about how a guy can get 25 stitches above his eye and look cool, but get two stitches in his right nostril and look pretty silly. The right side of his nose was taped. He said he doesn't think TNA is set up to have two different deciders in the front office. He proposed to Jarrett that tonight one of them steps down from their decision-making capacity. Jarrett's music promptly played.
Jarrett walked out. He asked Foley if he considers even for a second what he says before he says them. Foley said not too often, as he wasn't born with a filtering mechanism. Jarrett said in the process of proving to the world that he's still got it, he became the TNA World Champion. Jarrett said the story should have stopped there, but in his quest to get a rematch after losing his title, he has put the company in danger. He said he will always be a true legend no matter what happens at Victory Road. West said, "He's laying it on a little thick, ain't he?" Jarrett asked Foley to begin doing one thing - think. Think about why he came here, which was to foster the development of the young wrestlers and their families who need them to make TNA work. He said together they can build TNA to heights they never dreamed could actually happen. He said it was their goal from day one. He said they can fix the damage the Main Event Mafia are doing to TNA together.
Foley said he appreciates what he's saying. He admitted it was stupid to say he was only going to defend the TNA Title once a year. He said he was upset with Jarrett hitting him over the head with a guitar. He said his kids haven't been hit in the head as much as he have, and his 17 year old pointed out that Jarrett hasn't hit him as much as he's hit Jarrett. He said by his math, since he hit him six or seven times and Jarrett's hit him once, "we're even-steven." He said Jarrett is wrong when he says he doesn't have anything left to prove. He said at Victory Road he has something to prove to himself, which is that World Championship reign was no fluke, and he will do it against the greatest wrestler in the world today, Kurt Angle. He said he misses the belt and wants it back. He said he'll do it this time for the right reasons.
Foley said in the spirit of unity, maybe they can make a main event tonight. He suggested Jarrett take on Angle in the main event. West said he liked that. "Non-title, of course," added Foley. Jarrett said he's liking that idea. Why wouldn't Jarrett make it a title match, if he has that power? Jarrett then said he wants to tweak the match a little, taking a play out of his playbook. He suggested it be a three-way dance - Jarrett vs. Angle vs. Foley. Foley suggested they let Angle decide on a special referee for the match. Jarrett said that's fine, but he'll make the final tweak himself. He said it can't be any member of the Mafia or Matt Morgan. Foley said it sounds like they've booked themselves one heck of a main event. They shook hands.He called for Jarrett's music "in the spirit of unity." West said Jarrett has something up his sleeve.
Lauren interviewed the British Invasion backstage. Doug Williams explained that if his opponents beat him later, the case goes to the winner (although the case was stolen from LAX). Brutus Magnus said they don't care for American wrestling fans, but they are in TNA to make money. He said Rob Terry has the best body in pro wrestling. He insulted Team 3D to close out the interview. [c]
[Q2]
(1) Homicide defeated Doug Williams in a ladder match in 2:00. Williams said he wanted a real opponent. Out came Homicide, making his return. Tenay said Homicide took time off because of the death of father, while Hernandez had been away since the backstage attack and getting neck surgery. West said he likes "the nerve" and "the balls" of Williams to steal a briefcase and then offer it as a reward as if it were his. When Williams climbed a ladder, Homicide tipped the ladder over and sent Williams crashing onto Terry and Magnus at ringside. He then climbed the ladder. When Terry and Magnus tried to interfere, Team 3D stopped them. Homicide won. Afterward, the British Invasion were joined by Sheik Abdul Bashir and and Kiyoshi in attacking Team 3D. [c]
Tenay and West hyped the rest of the TNA Impact line-up. West also plugged the weekend house show dates.
Tenay had a sitdown interview with Suicide. Tenay said the only clue they have about him are the lyrics to his intro song, which he understands he wrote. "Your pain just won't go away. Screaming voices driving you insane. Your body fights, but can't. It's paralyzed. Black inside, hollow-eyed. That sounds like a very tormented and troubled soul." Suicide then explained that he was in darkness and felt the pain. He said his torment is not his alone. He said his torment is shared. He said he was left with choices - life or death. Tenay read more lyrics: "Suicide comes alive, takes the pain from all who just can't see the light. Dark savior, he can save you. He'll take your nail and be the one they crucify. Suicide will come alive." Suicide said he was dead, but now chooses to see the light and come alive. "I am the dark savior. Suicide does not represent the end. Suicide represents the beginning."
[Q3]
A video played of the Joe-Sting storyline, then Sting came out to his full ring intro. He called Samoa Joe to the ring. Tenay said Sting didn't expect, as the head of the MEM, to be left out of the loop on something so important. Joe walked up to Sting. "You are every reason that wrestling is as bad as it is, why this company is as bad as it is right now," said Sting. He said Joe wants everything, but he's willing to work for it, so he took a payoff as his expense. Sting said he doesn't need four guys to fight this fight. He said things are wrong because "you pissed me off bad now, Joe." He yelled in his face and told him to do something about. He asked him who's stopping him. Joe said, "Fortunately for you, I've been instructed to keep my temper." He told Sting his time will come. Sting asked who is in his ear because he said he's not capable of doing it on his own. Joe said he's going to say it one last time: "You will find out at Victory Road." Sting said he's going to find out tonight by pulling him out of the darkness and tearing him apart piece by piece and feeding him to the crowd. West asked what the rush was. [c]
[Q4]
Lauren interviewed Jenna. Jenna said she won a million dollars on Survivor, invested it, and earned millions more. Lauren asked how she'll combat that SoJo is helping train Sharmell. Jenna said she went out and bought herself a trainer, Awesome Kong and Ryesha Saeed. Lauren said this was supposed to be about Sharmell and Jenna, not SoJo and Kong.
(2) Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm) defeated The Motor City Machine Guns in 3:00. Booker and Steiner joined West and Tenay on commentary. The Gunns, as usual, provided contemporary innovative cool athleticism. They also, as usual, were treated as basically jobbers.
Backstage, Velvet Sky chewed out Angelina Love for making everything always about her. Sky said she's not Love's pawn or Guinea Pig and said it was unacceptable that she left her out there with a spider. Sky said if Love doesn't have her back, they're done for good. Love smiled and said she knew the spider crawled up her butt last week, but she didn't know it died up there. Madison Rayne just looked on, not taking sides. [c]
A vignette aired for Sanita, who debuts next week.
[Q5]
(3) Tara beat Velvet Sky (w/Angelina Love, Madison Rayne) in 3:00. As Sky entered the ring, the cameraman's hand touched her butt. West got possessive and said that's his butt. He said she should sue for sexual harassment. Sky tossed Tara around the ring for the first two minutes. There wasn't a second two minutes, as Tara won after a kick, three punches, two clotheslines, and her Widow's Peak finisher. Afterward, Tara threatened to put her tarantula on Sky. Love told her from the safety of ringside not to do that again. West said, "That's what a friend does." Love challenged her. Tara said she'll face her as long as her TNA Title is on the line. Rayne pleaded frantically with Love to accept. Love said it was a deal. [c]
(4) Tara defeated Angelina Love in 4:00. After the break, Tara got a series of near falls. Love bailed out to ringside. When Tara tried to yank Love into the ring by her hair, Rayne grabbed Tara's feet. The ref ordered her to the back. Love attacked Tara at ringside. Tara came back and finished Love with her Widow's Peak. Good for a short TV match, and nice to see one go past the three minute mark on this show. (*1/4)
[Q6] [c]
Lauren interviewed Tara backstage who said she is so happy and at one time thought she'd never be happy in her career again. She said she feels so welcome in TNA. She then thanked her tarantula, "Poison."
West and Tenay hyped the line-up for Victory Road.
They went to Abyss barging into Dr. Stevie's office. He tackled Stevie as soon as he saw him and vowed to kill him. Stevie apparently drugged him with a glass of water as Abyss fell to the side and began convulsing. Stevie explained he gave him a drug that paralyzes him other than his ability to breath. Stevie said he can still feel pain, though. He slapped him hard across the face. He demanded that he focus. He broke the water glass over his head. [c]
[Q7]
(5) Daniels & A.J. Styles defeated Matt Morgan & Kevin Nash in 7:00. The heel duo beat on Daniels for a few minutes. At 5:00 Morgan accidentally hit Nash, leading to Daniels hot-tagging Styles. Styles went on a flurry against Morgan. Styles hit Morgan with a Pele kick. Daniels hit his BME and Styles followed with a diving splash for the win. (*1/2)
Afterward, Nash attacked Styles and Daniels from behind. Morgan recovered and put Daniels's leg in a chair and legdropped the chair. Daniels clutched his leg. [c]
Lauren attempted to interview Samoa Joe in the parking garage. Sting went up to a car and tried to attack the driver. Joe came up behind Sting and choked him out with a stick. So Sting's plan to find out who Joe's advisor is didn't work out as he had hoped.
A short vignette aired on Jeff Jarrett who vowed "I will become." That's not really a sentence. [c]
[Q8]
(6) Kurt Angle beat Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley in 9:00. Eric Young walked out first as the special referee. Angle walked to the ring without the TNA Title and without any Mafia members. Young stopped Jarrett from punching Angle in the corner. Jarrett didn't like that. As Foley beat up Angle at ringside, Tenay said Styles has taken Daniels to the hospital to have his ankle evaluated. Jarrett came up behind Foley and gave him a Stroke into the steel steps. [c] Angle had Jarrett on the mat after the break. Jarrett made a comeback and then gave Angle a Stroke at 8:00. Young stopped his count at two and paused, letting Foley in to break up the pin. Foley then put Jarrett in a sleeper. Jarrett grabbed the guitar and threatened Young. Foley applied the Mandible Claw on Jarrett. Angle broke that up and gave Foley an Angle slam. Jarrett broke up the pin and applied a figurefour on Angle. Foley broke that up with an elbow. Foley landed on Jarrett and scored a two count. Angle applied an anklelock and Young claimed Foley gave up. In fact, Foley was yelling, "No, no, no." Tenay called it a ridiculous travesty of justice. (*3/4)
Jarrett beat up Young afterward. Foley, meanwhile, went after Angle. Joe ran out and hit Foley with the TNA Title belt. Steiner, Booker, and Nash walked out with weapons and beat up Foley. They wrapped Foley in barbed wire. They easily fended off Rocco and Sal. Angle trash-talked Foley as more security ran to the ring and the show ended.
THOUGHTS, COMMENTS, NITPICKS
JARRETT-FOLEY: This was fine. I get that Foley and Jarrett's mutual interests brings them together. However - and there is a big however - it's difficult to take grudges and feuds and intense emotions in general seriously when one week Jarrett's fuming and hitting him with guitar and the next he's happily shaking hands and coexisting with him. It's like three months of a voyage taken in a week with a bunch of chapters missing in the story. It's just rushed...
SUICIDE INTERVIEW: The Suicide promo was a lot of unnecessary gibberish disguised as character backstory. It was trite and just out of place on a pro wrestling show. The name is terrible to begin with, and now we're to believe that he took on the name not because of "suicidal moves" (which was clumsy enough), but instead because he is actually suicidal and to rebel against suicide and the darkness and all that, he's named himself... Alive? Nope. Reborn? Nope. Dark Savior, even? Not even close. Born Again? Eh eh. He's named himself after a word that describes the act of people at their lowest emotional depths killing themselves. It's just convoluted and not really entertaining or compelling. Most often keeping things simple and keeping babyface moral and positive without all of this baggage is, I think, surprisingly most entertaining and effective approach to promoting. I just think this is an example of bookers trying too hard and overwriting a character. Raven's character worked because of the setting and timeframe and that he was really drawing from his reality. Suicide's character just seems contrived, and even if it didn't, just heavy and burdensome to watch on a wrestling show...
KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Tara has a good lead babyface character that seems to be athlete and fighter first, sex symbol second. She works with a credible style and projects well to the crowd... It is sad, though, when you want to celebrate a title match on a wrestling show going four minutes. No title - or generic match, for that matter- really feels important at under five minutes...
MAIN EVENT TAG: It was surprising there was no Angle promo during the show getting his reaction to the main event Foley and Jarrett concocted early in the show... They creatively got Foley out of most of the match with Jarrett giving him a Stroke at ringside early so he could "recover" safely for the rest of the match until the finishing sequence where he got involved again. In the end, what emotion are we supposed to be left with? The Mafia attack as a group, Jarrett's mad at Young, and the intentionally obnoxious sometimes rival of top babyface Jarrett - Mick Foley - took a beating with barbed wire. What does all of that add up to?...
OTHER THOUGHTS: Does it need to be explained how counter-productive it is to have a two minute ladder match?... It's nice that they addressed the obvious with Jenna, which is that she only won a million dollars, which after taxes is hardly enough to buy all the things and people she claims. The idea that she took her million and turned it into millions more - in this economy - is a stretch. But I give them credit for creating a story that at least establishes she's working with more than the 650K left over after taxes from her Survivor win... Only two minutes of in-ring wrestling in the first 49 minutes of the show... Booker's relentless obnoxious Wolfman Jack style commentary isn't entertaining or funny. He kept it to a minimum in the Beer Money tag match, thankfully... The Dr. Stevie-Abyss skits are also not entertaining. They're just to heavy for a pro wrestling show, made worse by fact that they're somehow also campy and worst of all, don't really lead to a money match...
QUOTEBOOK
Brutus Magnus: "We don't want to pander to American wrestling fans like Blubber Ray and Brother Devon Custard."
Scott Steiner on Beer Money: "There are two things I don't like: rednecks and white trash."
Tara: "There was a point in my career that I never thought I could have happiness. I've having a blast. I'm so glad to be part of the TNA family. I feel very loved here."
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