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BOX SCORE BASICS

-Tiffany said mid-ring with a smile and that signature head-bob at the end, "Welcome to a new era of E... C.... W!" She said while they lost some Superstars in the draft, they gained some as well. She said ECW will continue to be the place to see the most talented young Superstars in "the WWE" today. She head-bobbed again after saying, "Let's get things started right now."

(1) Yoshi Tatsu beat Shelton Benjamin. Matt Striker said Tatsu left behind fame and riches in Japan to join ECW. Shelton then went into an imitation of Tatsu. As Shelton mocked Tatsu with a bow mid-ring, Tatsu surprised him with a kick to the head and a quick win.

They showed the new "talk show host" Abraham Washington backstage on his way to the ring. He's a cross between The Rock and Denzel Washington. [c]

Abraham Washington walked to the ring. He sounds like a cross between Coach and Stephen A. Smith. He asked how much they spend on their hair weaves. They said they're 100 percent natural. He said, "Beep beep beep, the lie detector is going off." He asked how they're different, such as who is younger, who got kissed first, who went further first, who got better grades, who can do the splits, etc. His questions led to an argument between them. [c]

(2) Sheamus pinned Oliver John. This is just a weird show. Sheamus is a borderline albino redhead with spiked hair. He talked in Celtic with a strong Irish accent before the match. Striker, sounding dejected with his job at this point, said with the enthusiasm and inflection of a golf commentator that Sheamus hasn't done the customary hand shakes in the locker room as a new arrival. Striker said, with the tone of someone reporting that a neighbors cat just died, "Lost of new faces here in ECW." (1/2*)

Backstage William Regal told Vladimir Kozlov he wants him to follow the strategy they discussed. He said it's his first night and ECW and he doesn't want to be embarrassed. Kozlov said, "Embarrass you. I got it!" He walked away as Regal looked concerned with Kozlov's interpretation of what he said. [c]

WWE Fact: Last week, ECW was Sci-Fi's most watched show for the 39th straight week.

Tyler Rex walked up to Zach Ryder, whom he's wrestling on Superstars on Thursday. Rex talked about surfing "sick waves" in So-Cal, but it's nothing compared to the rush of being on ECW. Ryder said everybody knows the best beaches in the world are on Long Island. [c]

Striker and Matthews threw to a video package on Raw the night before.

Backstage Tommy Dreamer walked up to Christian and impatiently asked if he's ready. Christian said he's ready. Dreamer sensed something is wrong. He asked what it was. Christian said he's back in Fresno where he made his ECW return and it reminded him how his goal was to be ECW Champion, and it still is. Dreamer questioned Christian's timing since they have to team together against Regal & Kozlov next. [c]

(3) William Regal & Vladimir Kozlov defeated Tommy Dreamer & Christian in 19:00. Striker talked about Regal changing his first name from Steven to William. At 3:00 they cut to a break. [c] Regal and Kozlov focused on Christian's arm and shoulder after the break. Dreamer got a hot tag at 12:00 and went on a flurry, but it was cut off by Kozlov after a near fall. Regal tagged himself in, but Dreamer then yanked him into the ring and scored a two count with a sudden small package. He charged Regal in the corner, but Regal moved and Dreamer went shoulder-first into the post. Regal followed with an exploder suplex. Kozlov then tagged himself in, which seemed to upset Regal momentarily. Regal immediately chokeslammed Dreamer and got a three count on the ECW Champion. Regal celebrated with a dance and applause and a handshake. He lifted his arm. Striker played up the possibility that Kozlov stole Regal's thunder a little bit, but said he didn't embarrass him. Regal seemed to be working really hard to keep a smile on his face and be a "good teammate." (**)

Throughout the show there was a graphic saying ECW is on next week at a special time - Thursday at 7 p.m. Striker and Mathews, though, never mentioned in commentary.

THOUGHTS, OBSERVATIONS, AND NITPICKS

INTRODUCTION

It's like the head-bob at the end of every Tiffany sentence is her way of signalling a period. She also kind of talks like she's talking to a toddler or infant.

SHELTON VS. TATSU

Tatsu's intro music sounds like an early-1980s game show theme song, like "Super Password"... After Shelton did some ridiculously outdated stereotypical jokes about Godzilla and bad voice impressions of an old World War II era Japanese villain, at least even the jingoistic far-far-right wing Striker wasn't the least bit entertained, saying with a hint of boredom mixed with disgust that "at least Shelton" is amused by his antics. It is really disheartening that after all of these decades, wrestling bookers and promoters still think their target audience - which grew up most cases with many Asian-Americans in school who they saw as American as anyone - get a kick out of the same jokes made on Gilligan's Island fortysome years ago. The slack WWE gets here is that Shelton was made out to be a complete fool and ended up losing in the end to the Japanese wrestler. If the idea is to make Shelton out to be a complete dork, this worked, but I'm not sure that's how superstars are crafted. If the biggest acquisition was Shelton (or at least Shelton's potential), this was a step back...

ABRAHAM WASHINGTON

There's a reason Stephen A. Smith lost his radio show, his column, and his ESPN gig. His over-the-top schtick was annoying and phony and transparent and obnoxious. Thus, apparently, he's perfect for what wrestling fans tune in to ECW for. Last week Evan Bourne, this week a Stephen A. Smith knockout. His hair looked like he peeled it off a wax figure at a museum. He told awful jokes that may not have been intended to be awful. He said McMahon buying back Raw for twice what he sold it for was "dumb." He introduced the Bella Twins... This segment seemed like an answer to the ECW ratings dropping lately, so the idea is turn ECW into a bad skit show instead of a show built around wrestling. That wasn't pointless, but it was insufferably bad. The point was to introduce tension between the Bella Twins. Credit to Striker and Matthews, who didn't sell it at all...

MAIN EVENT

The main event tag match was solid, but not spectacular by any means. They teased some dissension before the match between both opposing duos. Then at the end of the match, they focused on a potential rivalry between Regal and Kozlov.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Not an electrifying new beginning for ECW. Regal was used fine and got to show off his range in terms of talking, facial expressions, and some good ring work. Shelton's debut was puzzling and not encouraging as the made him out to be an idiot in more ways than one. All of the new faces made this interesting as ECW definitely got a facelift, but it was a mix of lousy and forgettable for the most part.

QUOTEBOOK

Abraham Washington: "I have not seen that much pain and brutality since I had a chance to witness Paris Hilton in a spelling bee, you know what I'm saying?"

Washington to the Bella Twins: "Go ahead ladies, sit down, get comfortable. My name ain't O.J. Simpson. Relax."

Matt Striker: "I know gaelic is your favorite language, Josh."

Zach Ryder to Tyler Rex: "Why don't you go home and eat your avocado rolls or whatever you hippies do to get ready for our match on Thursday because you're going to need all the help you can get."



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