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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT TAKE
JUNE 25, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

BOX SCORE BASICS

[Q1]

-Freeze-frame highlights aired from Slammiversary 7 on Sunday. They ended with some provocative post-match clips of Mick Foley, Jeff Jarrett, and Samoa Joe making impassioned statements about what happened at the PPV. The title of the show was then on the screen: "Say it ain't so, Joe."

-The Impact opening aired. As the camera panned the crowd, Tenay said the main question coming out of Sunday is why Joe did what he did.

(1) Brother Ray beat Brutus Magnus via DQ in 2:00. The rest of the British Invasion along with Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir attacked Ray. Devon made the save and Team 3D gave Kiyoshi a 3D through the table. Magnus's chest was battered and bruised from this short match.

-Lauren interviewed Kurt Angle in the parking area. She fired off a series of questions as Joe got out of a sports car and hugged Angle. She asked whether Sting knew of their alliance, among other questions. Angle told Joe, "We've got a big night, tonight." [c]

-As Angle headed to the ring, Don West said he's usually pretty plugged in, but he didn't have a clue they were aligned. Angle stood center-ring and introduced himself to the TNA fans as their new TNA World Heavyweight Champion. He then introduced the newest MEM member, Samoa Joe. He has new edgier hip-hopish intro music. West called Joe joining MEM "sheer brilliance." Angle said with a smile he doesn't know where to begin.

[Q2]

Angle said Joe returned from the beating the MEM gave him a few months as an animal thirsty for blood, dominating and kicking ass week after week. He said they took notice and realized they had to sign him. He said Joe's pricetag was too steep for them. He then said Jenna came into the picture, investing her "millions" into the MEM so they could sign Joe. He said they were able to make morons out of A.J. Styles and everyone else. Angle said they had Joe take out Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Booker T. He said they all took a bullet for the "greater of the family" because that's what every family does. Booker put his hands on Joe's shoulder.

Angle bragged about how they'd all celebrate after he won the TNA Title. He said Samoa Joe said the same thing back, "so for those of you who didn't get it, you're frickin' morons." Angle then said he forgot to tell Sting and he sarcastically apologized. "What you didn't know didn't hurt you," he added.

Foley walked out and said he might owe Sting an explanation and Joe might owe Styles an explanation, but they don't owe him an explanation. He said they do owe him a rematch at Victory Road. Angle said Foley is washed up and has no power anymore. He said he has the power now and in his contract it states that he has the right to pick his opponent, not him. Foley said he loves being champion and he wants to be champ again as soon as possible. He said he pinned Angle in the course of that match, and by his (terribly flawed logic) he said in any other match other than King of the Mountain, he'd still be champion. Angle said he won't get upset because this is his night to celebrate. Angle suggested they go to the back, have a couple drinks, and work out an agreement. He said they have a lot to talk about.

-Lauren frantically ran up to Styles and tried to talk to him about Joe. Styles raised an open hand at the loud, obnoxious woman and shouted, "Lauren!" He looked upset with aggressive questioning. He then asked Kip, who was messing with lighting equipment, if he knew where Joe was. Kip said he saw him with the Mafia. [c]

-A video package aired on the Jeff Jarrett-Mick Foley relationship. They aired the clip of an emotional Foley right after losing the title Sunday night saying he's going to have to reflect on events and see if being part of TNA fits his plans.

-Tenay and West hyped the rest of the TNA Impact line-up. Tenay interviewed Jarrett via telephone. He said he'd make it short and sweet. He said the situation with he and Mick has gone far enough. He said he wants to rise above it and show up next week and resolve their differences once and for all for the good of TNA and everyone in it.

[Q3]

-A vignette aired on a new Knockout, Sarita.

-As Nash walked out for his match, Tenay and West hard-sold the idea that Nash was among the MEM members who went along with "the plan" regarding Joe. Nobody's explained convincingly what exactly MEM members taking a beating accomplished as part of the Joe plan, though. [c]

(2) Kevin Nash pined Abyss in 5:00. There were some poorly timed exchanges early, but some decent high-impact collisions, too. Nash went for a chairshot at 3:00, but Abyss moved. Abyss threw Nash into the ringside barrier and then the steps. He led the crowd in cheering. Back in the ring, Abyss wedged a chair in the corner, but Nash recovered during the set-up time and gave Abyss a big boot. He grabbed the chair. The ref stepped in. Dr. Stevie gave Abyss a taser gun to the gut as the ref's back was turned. Abyss was down and out. Nash walked over to a convulsing Abyss and made the pin. (3/4*) [c]

[Q4]

-Beer Money stood center ring and celebrated being tag champs. Robert Roode half-heartedly complimented Team 3D, then said they'd be willing to give them their rematch for the tag titles anytime, anyplace. Then Booker T and Scott Steiner interrupted and walked to the ring. Tenay continued to talk about the MEM master plan that they were in on but Sting wasn't. Booker said he had a history lesson for Beer Money. He preached about Harlem Heat, and called them the greatest tag team of all time. Steiner took the mic and said Angle is calling all the shots and making all the rules. He said he just left Mick's office and a deal is sealed and etched in stone. He didn't say what the deal was. Booker said, "What Scotty's trying to say is..." and then explained that Foley is going to get a title shot against Angle at Victory Road, Nash will get a shot at his Legends Title held by Styles, and he and Scotty are going to get a shot at their tag team titles. Roode said Booker and Steiner are each half of two of the greatest tag teams ever, but in TNA they're "just another nillin' bob." He told Booker to kneel down and "bob on this bottle here." Booker replied, "You didn't say that. Tell me you didn't just say that." Booker announced that Foley booked them in singles matches against one another, so get ready to get their asses kicked. Team 3D stepped out onto the ramp. Ray asked if anyone could understand what either Booker or Steiner were saying. Ray said Beer Money already agreed to give them their rematch at Victory Road and they plan on taking the rematch. [c]

-A brief video package aired on the Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde feud.

(3) Taylor Wilde defeated Daffney in 3:00 in a 10,000 Tacks Match. Daffney got the bag of tacks a minute in. Taylor kicked Daffney down and tried to oepn the sack of tacks. Daffney raked her eyes, then swung the bag of tacks at Taylor to knock her down. Daffney poured them onto the mat a 2:00. Daffney tried to slam Wilde onto the tacks. Taylor resisted and went for her own suplex. Daffney eventually won and dropped Daffney onto the tacks to win.

[Q5]

-Lauren interviewed The Beautiful People backstage. Lauren said Tara is short for Tarantula, then a real tarantula appeared on Angelina Love's shoulder. They screamed, then they cut to a break. [c]

-They went backstage to Jeremy Borash holding a mic for Team 3D confronting Foley in his office. They were upset with him giving Booker & Steiner the tag title rematch in exchange for him getting a rematch against Angle. Foley said he doesn't give a damn about their gripe, but they're not past the point of no return. He suggested next week they face Steiner & Booker and the winner goes on to take on Beer Money at Victory Road. Ray held up a barbed wire baseball bat. He said, "Listen, Mick, we like you, we respect you, you're wearing my flannel for God's sake, but do the right thing and tweak it again." Foley got on his knees and begged them to take the match. Ray set the bat down and they agreed to the match. Devon said they'd take the match, but warned him not to play mindgames with him. Borash asked Foley how Angle will feel. Foley said he doesn't care.

(4) Scott Steiner pinned Robert Roode in 5:00. West pushed that Sting wasn't in on this plan despite being the supposed leader of the Mafia. At 4:00 they exchanged near falls. Steiner set up a Steiner Recliner, but Roode battled out of it. Steiner got a backslide for a three count. Fine match. (*)

[Q6]

-Borash interviewed Kurt Angle. He asked Angle about Foley crossing him regarding the tag title situation. Angle said no one crosses the boss and he'll pay a price next week. Borash then asked Angle if he informed Sting what was going down with Joe. Angle said yeah, but so what, since he'd the Godfather. Borash said the other guy who thinks he's the Godfather is on his way to the arena according to a text message he just got. Angle said he doesn't answer to anyone. [c]

-Borash interviewed Foley backstage. He asked him about Jarrett saying he wants to bury the hatchet. Foley sounded a little skeptical, but he said nothing between them has been irreparable, as long as Jarrett was doing the apologizing. Borash said he just talked to Angle and "this tweak you just did, Kurt really took exception to it." He said Angle is going to deal with him next week. Foley said that's fine with him, but then he threw his desk clutter to the side and went on a rant about how he's going through mourning and can't comprehend clearing anything this week. He asked Borash to leave him alone.

-A vignette aired on Eric Young, saying he has paid his dues during his tenure in TNA, yet he feels empty and unappreciated, so he's looking for answers from the TNA founder who control his destiny.

-Lauren interviewed Young backstage, who asked him about walking out on Rhino last week. She said his friends don't know who he is. Young said, "Bless your sweet innocent heart, Lauren." He said he's one of the originals. He said he's been the Court Jester in TNA and he's tired of being the after-hours entertainment. He said he realizes there are no friends, just acquaintances. Rhino stepped up and said he took him at his word when he said he had his back. He asked him to explain himself. Young suggested they sort it out next week. Rhino asked why wait until next week. Young then headbutted Rhino. Laren freaked out. Rhino's student Jesse walked in and said they can get revenge on their time. Rhino then freaked out and shoved Jesse, accusing him of trying to be the teacher... [c]

[Q7]

-Lauren interviewed Booker T about facing James Storm later. He told Storm he's in trouble and show him what it's like to be a veteran. Sharmell walked in and said, "I did it! I did it!" She said she got a contract signed to wrestle Jenna. Booker didn't like the news that two MEM women would be fighting at Victory Road.

(5) James Storm beat Booker T (w/Sharmell) via DQ in 5:00. Tenay referred to the "female faction of the Mafia" as a "powder-keg." Storm rode to the ring on beer cooler turned into three-wheeler. Sharmell gave Booker a beer bottle which he broke over Storm's head. Not a tight match. Pretty awkward and clunky at times. (1/2*)

-They showed Sting pacing backstage with a baseball bat in hand. Tenay wondered aloud how he'd react to the Angle-Joe twist. [c]

-A.J. Styles entered the ring with mic in hand. He called Joe to the ring. Joe walked right up to Styles's face. Styles said, "Really, Joe? Really? You did it for the money? The money?" Who said that? Styles said they had a plan for King of the Mountain and he betrayed it. He said the plan was for either of them to come away with the title. The crowd chanted, "You sold out." Styles said Joe didn't want to win and sure didn't want him to win, so he screwed him and the company and the fans.

[Q8]

Styles said someone must be in his ear. Joe said Styles can ask him himself at Victory Road - a nice teaser for Taz's TNA debut. As Joe began to leave, Styles said he's not done. Joe said he is. Styles jumped Joe. They brawled. Matt Morgan ran to the ring and jumped Styles. He and Joe stomped Styles into the mat. The rest of the Mafia, sans Sting, ran out to join in the beatdown. Sting walked out, so the rest of the Mafia scattered. Tenay excitedly said they'd hear from Sting after the break. [c]

Sting accused Angle of working behind his back and suspected he did a lot more things than just work out a secret deal with Joe. He suggested he was working with Morgan. Angle said he had nothing to do with him. Sting said he's beyond pathetic. Sting confronted Booker and said he has the floor and "zip up." He called Steiner a dumb jock and said Booker cares only about himself. He said he was surprised by Nash, and asked if he remembers the WolfPac. "So you expected more from me?" said Nash. Nash explained that when Angle didn't want him in the Mafia, he told him he was okay. He said he was with him when he talked about respect and dignity. He said he believed in that. He said time after time, when "these jackals" wanted to cut him off at the knees, he told them not to do it. West said, "Kevin's a good man." Nash then said when Angle suggested Morgan take him out, he thought it was a good idea and he went along with it. Sting asked why. Nash yelled, "Look around! It ain't workin'. Your plan ain't workin'. His is. He's got the belt!" Nash said the honor and dignity thing is bullsh--. He said he believes in God, but he believes in the dollar bill, too. He said they bought Joe because they didn't beat him. "You can make friends or you can make money, but you can't make both in this business," he said, adding that he can't stand against the rest of MEM and succeed. He said Sting's approach is a fairy tale they tell their kids before they tuck them into bed. Sting said Nash told him he wanted his son Tristin to learn by his example. Nash told him not to bring him into it. Sting said he doesn't think this is the real Kevin he's known for years. "I'm not talking about Oz, Big D, or Big Sexy, but Kevin Nash," Sting said. Sting said Kevin should prove him wrong and take his bat and solidify his place in the Mafia and take him out "for the payoff." Sting handed him his bat and turned around. Sting pulled out a hidden baseball bat as a weapon in case Nash did swing at him. Nash swung at him, and Sting defended himself with a bat. Joe then picked up Nash's bat and bashed Sting with it twice. Steiner and Joe stomped and stabbed Sting on the mat. Booker joined in and trash-talked Sting. West said Sting should have just gone along with the program, not fought it. Tenay said the relationship between Sting and the Mafia is history.

THOUGHTS, OBSERVATIONS, NITPICKS

START: Good opening video package. It created a sense that TV viewers missing something big on Sunday at Slammiversary, plus added some compelling quotes from Foley, Jarrett, and Joe.

RAY VS. MAGNUS: Nice intensity at the start, jump-starting the show with high energy in an "unexpected" singles match-up. Magnus showed on commentary at Slammiversary that he's got quick wit on the mic, so if he can produce in the ring, he's a potential money player. Too bad he wasn't on Nitro in 1999 or he'd already be in the main event picture in TNA this year whether he could still work or not...

ANGLE PROMO: The line about those who don't get it are morons by Angle seems like the booking team rebutting accusations that this was an ill-planned hot-shot angle. The whole promo seemed like backtracking to try to take past events that clash with Joe being with the Mafia at Slammiversary and make it seem like it was planned all along. I don't buy into the argument that Nash, Steiner, and Booker took bullets for the family as a plausible explanation for anything. Why did they take bullets for the family? Why would Joe beat up his future teammates? To throw everyone else off? What would the point be of throwing everyone else off? It's not like anyone suspected Joe of being with MEM, so putting the other MEM members at risk against him - and Joe at risk facing the three top MEM members - headed into that match doesn't really serve a purpose. This seems like half-baked backtracking, but I'm willing to move past it if TNA bookers can make the Joe-Sting "trade" work otherwise, but I won't accept their argument that this was planned all along - and if it was, that's even scarier...

FOLEY-ANGLE: When Foley came out, the crowd was chanting passionately for Foley, who against Angle would presumably be considered the babyface in this situation after weeks of establishing him as a self-absorbed, self-preservationist heel willing to disrespect the value of the TNA Title... Sometimes it's like TNA has two booking teams, each with very different visions, who switch off controlling storylines every few weeks... When Angle said his contract says he can pick his opponents, this is part of the excessive "creative license" that bookers all over use to tell whatever story they're trying to tell. I do wish bookers would stick with a set of predictable, consistent rules such as automated title rematches for former champions, and in general who decides who wrestles whom and under what circumstances...

ABYSS-NASH: Make all the wisecracks you want about the potential of this match being a mess, and it had it's moments especially early of seeming like the first time these two had ever touched, but this is the type of intriguing match from a character and style standpoint that should get more hype and mean something when it happens for the first time. Just throwing it out there in the first hour without hype really devalues the notion of these two fighting. Set aside workrate expectations, from a push and stature and character standpoint, this was more intriguing than it's thrown-out-there placement. The defense of the way this was presented is that the match was a vehicle to get somewhere else, which was forwarding Stevie vs. Abyss, but the fans don't know that ahead of time, and nor should the "powers" who booked the match in the first place, from a storyline standpoint. This is an example of booking backwards, where the booker knows the match doesn't really matter and is a means to an ends, so they present it in a throwaway manner, but in the process it chipped away at the prestige of Nash and Abyss as main event caliber stars because it was thrown out there as if it was an undercard throwaway match... Tenay said Nash got the pin, but that's not the story, the story is Stevie tasering Abyss. Are pins every the story in TNA? Shouldn't they always be?...

TAG TEAM PROMO SEGMENT: Beer Money vs. Steiner & Booker looked like a nice change of pace for the tag division, but you knew Team 3D had to factor in since they're due a rematch (unless, like Angle, Beer Money magically had a clause where they could decide when and where and against whom they defend against). It's really saying something when Booker is the more articulate of a duo, but it was fun mic work having him interpret Steiner. The exchange between Team 3D and Steiner was also a blast. Steiner telling Ray to "show his abs" as a comeback to Ray mocking Steiner's mish-mash enunciating was funny...

DAFFNEY-WILDE: TNA has learned from ratings patterns to position the Knockouts match to start near the end of the first hour and carry over into the second. It's much better for ratings momentum than their old habit of being at a commercial at the start of the second hour, killing whatever ratings bump they should get at the start of a new hour with new viewers tuning in... Well, I take back that last paragraph because the match ended before the second hour began. Yep, a 10,000 Thumbtacks match, just thrown on TV also with no sense of gravity to the stipulations, lasted all of three minutes, even though Knockouts have shown ratings power in longer matches. This was one of those examples where the bookers show zero respect for wrestlers go through by having Daffney land on thousands of thumb tacks for almost no reason. The match didn't do TNA any benefit because there was no hype, it didn't last long enough to make a ratings difference, and it defined down the specialness of a thumbtacks match (as if they should exist in the first place) by treating it like a throwaway squash match at only three minutes. Nothing I could ever type that might upset management for being "too critical" would show more disrespect to the industry or wrestlers themselves than this type of booking, that takes no account of trying to get the most out of the sacrifices of the wrestlers and what they put their bodies through. It's not a perfect analogy (because what TNA is doing is worse), but it's the sports equivalent of asking a bench-riding basketball player to take hard charges late in the fourth quarter of a blowout 30 point loss. Or asking a back-up quarterback to get sacked time after time in a 30 point blowout in the fourth quarter when the offensive line was decimated by injuries rather than making quick handoffs to avoid sacks. In other words, it's asking Daffney to land on thumb tacks for no reason, but it's worse because it devalues all future thumb tack matches at the same time with no discernible gain or tradeoff to somehow justify it... And to add insult to injury, because the match was so ridiculously short, they ended up going to a break just seconds into the second hour, once again inviting potential new viewers to shop around other channels before getting invested in and hooked on Impact...

OTHER NEWS: Styles raising his hand at Lauren and shouting at her was one of those TNA moments where you cringe because of its misogynistic track record. He wasn't defending himself, he was raising an arm like a man raises an arm to a woman who's "just asking to get slapped." That's a retake in my book... Kip is doing the Chavo Guerrero "Amway" gimmick that Russo has a fondness for, where you riff on how if wrestlers weren't working for a promotion, they'd have to settle for "menial" work for much less pay... When Roode said Team 3D, when it comes to legends, "are definitely two of those legends," it was meant to be the faintest of praise, but the crowd applauded like it was this magnanimous praise... When Borash interviewed Angle, he sounded like that kid with all that blond hair with the crackling voice who used to be on those iconic computer ads 15 or so years ago... After Young headbutted Rhino backstage, Lauren acted as if Young had just gouged out Rhino's eyeball or someone just dropped a new born baby into a campfire. Calm down, already! She's so badly overacting, treating every situation as if it's life or death...

QUOTEBOOK - BOASTS, INSULTS, WITICISMS

Kurt Angle on recruiting Joe: "It was a masterpiece designed by the master himself... me."

Mick Foley after Slammiversary's main event title loss: "I'm going to have to go back and seriously think about whether this company, shareholder, any of it fits into my plans."

Robert Roode: "When it comes to legends in this sport, brother Ray, Brother Devon, without a shadow of a doubt, you two guys are definitely two of those legends."

Scott Steiner to Team 3D: "I understand you two fat-asses are frustrated because you have an overreactive pituitary gland."

Brother Ray in response: "Da da da da da da da he da da da da da da da da da..."

Steiner in response: "Show your abs, fat-ass, show your abs."

Mick Foley to Brother Ray: "Let me do something I've never done for anybody else in this business."

Ray in response: "What, take a shower after your match?"

Sting: "Scotty, I'm not surprised about you, either, because you're nothing but a brainless jock-head who plays follow the leader wherever you go."

West in response: "That's not nice."

West: "Sting, you're out! Joe, you're in!"

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