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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT TAKE
JUNE 18, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
BOX SCORE BASICS
[Q1]
-The opening video said Jeff Jarrett was suspended from the company he founded seven years ago by Mick Foley. (When was it established that Foley had enough power as what had been portrayed as an underling of boss Jarrett to suspend Jarrett?) The narrator asked what Jarrett has in store for Foley this year. The show's title is "Welcome Back, Jeffrey!" After the Impact opening aired, Mike Tenay introduced the show.
-Mick Foley walked to the ring with his security guys and a big clown. The ring was full of balloons and the ropes were draped with glittery streamers. He said his has his smile back. He had Earl Hebner with him. He said the medical tests came back and his injuries are mostly soft tissue damage. He asked the crowd to give Earl a round of applause. He then introduced A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, and Kurt Angle. Tenay said Angle didn't look amused by Foley's fun and games. Angle gave Foley a death-stare. He hadn't shaved in a while, either, as a beard has begun to show up. He then introduced his "guest of honor," Jarrett.
Jarrett opened by asking Foley if he's "absolutely lost his frickin' mind." Foley said not yet, and then ordered confetti to drop from the rafters. Angle shook his head in embarrassment or befuddlement. Foley announced the main event, suggesting it be called the "Can't we all just get along match." He said Joe and Styles are going to team against Angle and Sting. Nobody looked happy. Foley then said it's not a regular tag match. He revealed that a third team would be involved - Jarrett and Foley. He asked everyone to reach in mid-ring with their hands and yell "Go Team!" Foley is very entertainment, at his sarcastic best here. Jarrett left the ring. Styles and Angle reached in. Then Joe stepped up, but he punched Angle instead.
-They went to Jeremy Borash backstage with Raven sitting on the floor behind him and Dr. Stevie and Daffney by his side. Daffney talked about the first-ever mixed Monster Ball tag team match at Slammiversary. Daffney said it's what a promoter would call a match made in hell. Borash bent over and interviewed Raven on the floor. He said a "Clockwork Orange House of Fun match is anything but fun." He said he can sense and smell and taste Abyss. He said he and Abyss share a lot in common - broken families, distant mothers, and a realization they both deserve pain.
[Q2] [c]
(1) Daniels beat Amazing Red in 3:00. Don West ranted about how unfair it was for Jarrett to bring Daniels back. Red hit an, well, an amazing twisting flip bodyblock onto Daniels over the top rope at ringside. He threw a bunch of kicks at Daniels back inside the ring. Red continued on offense including a near fall after a DDT. Daniels came back and quickly won after a BME. It was classy of Daniels to give Rey so much offense before the quick turnaround at the end. (*1/2)
-Afterward, Shane Douglas appeared on the big screen and said he's a legend who deserves a second chance. He accepted Daniels's challenge to put his roster spot at stake. He said Daniels will be "ha ha, ha, ha... Franchised."
-Lauren interviewed Awesome Kong, Raisha Saeed, and Taylor Wilde. Taylor said she shouldn't have ever gotten in contact with Daffney. She said she heard she was looking for money and out of work. She said he wasn't there to help her against the Beautiful People. Kong said she's going to kill the princess first, the monster last. Lauren got creeped out. [c]
[Q3]
As Tenay and West hyped the Sacrifice line-up, Matt Morgan interrupted and invited Sting to the ring. Sting walked out to his full ring intro. Morgan implied he's a better athlete and smarter than Sting. He asked how he's supposed to become a World Champion if nobody gives him a title shot. He asked Sting if he knows where he's going. He told Sting he's always talking about respect, but he should start by respecting himself and then respect the Main Event Mafia by securing its legacy by giving him an opportunity to be a World Champion. He said he wants him to give "this young, hungry seven foot lion in front of you an opportunity" for the title at Slammiversary. He said if he turns him down, he's just admitting he's bigger, faster, strong, and better than him. Sting said he'll give him his position in the Mafia if he can beat him Slammiversary. Morgan accepted the offer. As Sting turned to leave, Morgan charged at him loudly. Sting sidestepped him and tossed him over the top rope. Morgan threw a fit at ringside. [c]
-Borash asked Jarrett to sit with him backstage so he could help him figure out Foley. He said he took notes, and then he ran down what Foley's been doing to him. Jarrett responded with boredom to Borash running down Foley's actions, then got worked up and said Foley is the champion who represents the company he founded. He said he never knows which version of Mick Foley is going to show up each week. He said he doesn't get rid of Foley because he has compassion for crazy people. He promised to bring the TNA Title back to where it belongs at Slammiversary. Tenay said he's given up predicting what Foley is going to next. He said he agrees Foley is crazy.
(2) Raven (w/Dr. Stevie) beat Jethro Holliday in 4:00. Holliday hit Raven with a trash can over the head a few times on the ramp to jump-start the match. There were two sides of a cage against the ropes with weapons hanging from them. Dr. Stevie interfered with a kendo stick to stop Holliday's moment.
[Q4]
Holliday made a comeback at 3:00. Raven threw Holliday into the cage wall which then tipped over to the floor. Raven pinned Holliday on the floor. Afterward, Daffney and Stevie joined Raven in trying to put Holliday in a straight jacket. Abyss made the save. [c]
-Don West's sitdown interview with Samoa Joe aired. "Take notes; this is the definition of broadcast journalism," he said. West asked if Joe's listening to someone. Joe said he's not listening to anyone, he's be advised. He said his advisor understands him better than he understands himself, perhaps. Joe said Styles is like a brother to him, and brothers fight, but they end up together again. He said he is on a seek and destroy mission and his target is Kurt Angle because he and the Mafia have stolen everything they have and disrespected the business.
Angelina Love headed toward the entrance tunnel. She told Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne to keep close to her because he can't trust "that by bee-atch." Rayne asked if she meant Kong or Taylor. Love said, "My partner." [c]
[Q5]
Lauren interviewed Abyss. He laughed maniacally and talked about Raven, Stevie, and Daffney. He said his body has been through war after war after war. He said sometimes in the middle of the night his scars begin to bleed. He said it's a "such a warm and fuzzy feeling." He said when they put their hands on the beautiful face of Lauren, his girlfriend, it made him sad and angry. Lauren broke and cried, which was very awkward. She just stood there crying as Abyss pointed at her scars in rage. She then finally apologized and said she couldn't stand there anymore. He said his mom told him not to hit girls, and he understands why, but Daffney isn't a girl, she's a "whacked out crazy bitch!" He said after Sunday at the Monster's Ball, he's coming to get Dr. Stevie. He said he won't need a doctor afterward, he's going to need a mortician.
(3) Awesome Kong & Taylor Wilde beat Daffney & Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne) in 4:00. Taylor and Wilde battled early. Wilde tagged in Daffney, then Kong got a hot-tag in also. At ringside, Sky sprayed Raisha in the face with hair spray. Kong, meanwhile, finished Daffney with an Implant Buster. Afterward, the Beautiful People attacked Kong. Tara (a/k/a Victoria from WWE) made the save. Tara cleared the ring and then went face-to-face with kong for the first time. Tenay said it's uneasy respect because they know some day they will have to face each other. (1/2*)
Borash interviewed Team 3D backstage. He talked about their trip to Japan to defend tag titles and then having to fly 20 hours to come back to TNA to defend their other tag titles. Ray expressed some dismay at Beer Money not being there for them when they have been there for them. Devon told Beer Money to explain themselves before Slammiversary.
[Q6] [c]
-Another vignette aired with ODB training The Deaner on the farm. He practiced a diving headbutt as his finisher. Then he caught himself a duck, so ODB declared him ready.
-So Cal Val interviewed Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Chris Sabin, and Alex Shelley regarding their eight-man tag match later. Lethal kept talking over her with gibberish. Val asked for some professionalism. Shelley tried to talk, but Lethal insulted Val. Shelley told him to stop it. He then took exception to Shelley claiming he would become X Division Champion. Sabin told him to kiss her. Val said no way. They broke into an argument.
-Val interviewed Beer Money, who said they don't owe Team 3D an explanation. They laughed at the suggestion. Team 3D walked up to them and asked where they were. James Storm said they were drinking beer and counting money and having fun with strippers.
(3) Team 3D & Beer Money beat Motor City Machine Guns & Lethal Consequences in 1:00. The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequence came out for their match against Beer Money and Team 3D. Team 3D and Beer Money brawled to the ring. Suicide jumped the Guns, then left before the bell. Team 3D easily finished Shelley with a 3D for the win.
[Q7]
-Val interviewed Styles and Joe. Styles said now that Joe has his back and Daniels is back, there's no stopping them. Joe said he knows Styles has a hairline fracture and doctor's haven't cleared him to wrestle, so he'll cover his back and handle everything. [c]
-Backstage, Borash asked Foley if he fixed the broken Jarrett picture yet. Foley said it'll be weeks, maybe months. Borash asked him what the hottest thing on the Internet now are their Tweets. He said they're calling them the "Tweet & Tweet Connection." He showed Foley a caricature he had made of both of them together. Foley said the picture of Styles vs. Angle has been bothering him for a while because Angle's package really stands out and he thinks he stuffed a sock in there. Kip James walked in with a handyman outfit. Foley asked him to remove the Styles-Angle pic and replace it with the Foley/Borash pic. How did Kip know that Borash was going to reveal a gift caticature to Foley of them together?
-Tenay and West were shown on camera. Tenay plugged the TV main event tag and touted its star power, then he and West hyped the Slammiversary PPV line-up.
-Borash interviewed Kurt Angle. He said ever since he lost his spot as the Godfather of MEM, his life has been less stressful. He said Sting has taught him he doesn't have to yell and scream to get what he wants, because he can just reason with people. He guaranteed Joe that Kevin Nash, Booker T, and Scotty Steiner will be in Detroit. He said he will kick Foley's ass at Slammiversary and become champion and MEM will celebrate together. [c]
(4) Samoa Joe & A.J. Styles defeated Sting & Kurt Angle and Mick Foley & Jeff Jarrett in 9:00. The match began with nine minutes left in the show. Sting opened against Foley. Sting tagged in Angle after a minute. Foley tagged in Jarrett. Jarrett twisted Angle's arm and tagged Foley back in. West was impressed with the teamwork and cooperation. Angle stomped away at Foley's legs to break him down. He took a swing at Styles. Styles ducked and punched Angle. Foley clotheslined Angle. Jarrett clotheslined Angle and went for The Stroke. Angle countered, and they wrestled each other to the mat with Jarrett landing on top for a two count. Foley joined Tenay and West on commentary. Tenay said Jarrett was leaving Jarrett high and dry. They cut to a break. [c]
Jarrett continued to battle Angle after the break. Jarrett reached for a tag, but Foley wasn't there. The ref called for Foley to re-join the match. Foley took his time in doing so. Jarrett managed to instead tag in joe. Joe took down Angle and a charging Sting. He gave Angle a powerbomb onto Sting's back. Foley told Jarett he was there for him, but he chose not to use him. Jarrett punched Foley. West called him ungateful. Jarrett swing a chair sideways at Foley. Then the gave the security guards chairshots to the head. Joe, meanwhile, hit Angle with a Musclebuster for the pin. Not much of the match actually aired, and it was more of an angle than match. Fine for serving its purpose, though. (*)
OBSERVATIONS, ANALYSIS, AND NITPICKS
-At the start of the show was Foley came out, they went with a wider shot of the Impact Zone than I remember seeing before on Spike. It really gave a sense of what the Impact Zone is like, including the size and layout... Raven's promo was really strong. He managed to reestablish his character's roots while also explaining the similarities and differences between himself and Abyss... TNA should have masked Amazing Red and made him their Rey Mysterio, doing everything they could to emulate him short of copyright infringement. He's more dazzling than Rey at this stage. If you have no plans to draw money off of Red, he's the right type of opponent for Daniels since it creates the image of Daniels being at least an average sized wrestler. However, you could make a case that Red, if pushed and marketed right, could make more money for TNA than Daniels (that's not a shot at Daniels, just an acknowledgment of Red's potential given what WWE has done with Rey)... When Joe said he's not listening to anyone, he's being advised, how does one get advice without listening? Is it written notes? Sign-language? Email messages?... Seriously, how many "Red Bulls" does Morgan do before he goes out on TV for his promos?... When Morgan concluded his promo by saying he's better than Sting, West added, "He definitely talks faster." Hilarious. West is always the smartest man in the room and doesn't get credit for it...
QUOTEBOOK
Mick Foley: "Some people call him the greatest wrestler ever. I call him TNA's second-greatest acquisition ever."
Raven: "We realize we deserve [pain]. We're both self-loathing, pain-addicted freaks of nature that have absolutely no chance of redemption ever."
Raven: "The only difference between Abyss and I is that I'm intelligent enough to fit into normal society whereas he's a mindless abomination who should be put down like a rabid dog."
Taylor Wilde: "Daffney, if you want to drag me through hell, I'm ready, because this petite blonde can be a bigger bitch than you."
Awesome Kong: "Monster will kill princess first. Monster will kill monster last."

Jeff Jarrett on Mick Foley: "The only reason I don't get rid of him is because you gotta have some compassion for a guy as crazy as him."
Don West excitedly: "You see the sexy Daffney out here with a little straight jacket action. How can I sign up for this?!"
Abyss: "When I'm done with you, Dr. Stevie, you won't need a doctor, you'll need a mortician."
Don West in response: "Why would Abyss have a problem with that?" Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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