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By James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

Chances are you clicked on this article looking for some hope again. Maybe an assurance that everything is going to be okay. Tell me, oh wise reviewer of Raw, what say you about the wretched state of the Raw brand...again?

You might be looking for some answers, just like last week. No, this is not deja vu. Well, maybe it is. You watched a Raw show that stunk. Maybe not quite as bad as last week, but Sgt. Slaughter didn't do it for you just like Dr. Ken didn't ... wait for it ... deliver The Goods with a pacifier stuck in his mouth.

You want the answer to a basic question like, "What does a match-up like Bourne vs. Swagger have to do to deserve some build-up?" Or, an even tougher question like, "If you add up all of the wrestling time allotted to the mid-card, would it fill a FOX Family re-run of Whose Line is It Anyways or would Drew Carey have to fill time telling jokes?

Now you might be pondering why in the world I selected WLIIA as the example I used in the previous sentence out of the hundreds of re-runs on TV. Well, considering your favorite Monday night program seems to be booked on the fly these days with random people like Eugene popping out of nowhere and The Miz being reinstated with zero fanfare or hooplah, I get the sense WWE is drawing ideas out of a hat. You remember that one game, "Scenes from a Hat."

Wikipedia describes it: "The audience submits written suggestions which are placed in a hat. The host then draws from the hat, and any of the four performers, who stand off-stage, may enter and develop that scene."

Specifically related to the mid-card, the show comes across like the writers are standing backstage with names of people in a hat deciding what's up next.

MVP, run-in! The Miz, get your hood and grab the contract! We have no other idea how to reinstate you! MVP, you were drawn again, you have ... Chris Masters! Slaughter ... give us another segment! What? Just do it! The Brian Kendrick ... wait, how'd his name get in the hat?! Hornswoggle and Henry... let's see ... Blair and Brunzell...no! Kidman & London...what the? Wait, we don't have any tag teams left... DiBiase & Rhodes, go get a win, but don't kill Hornswoggle, but don't look tough either. Don't ask questions. ... Lance Storm, run-in! ... no no no. We don't like Canada. Bret is still screwing Bret. Orton, run-in! Make it as ambiguous as possible!

I received an email this morning question this scribe's one-star ratings across the board for last night's matches. "Great insight," the reader said with sarcasm dripping from the keyboard. Ah, but an explanation is warranted. You see, that's where all of the undercard Raw matches are. They're all on the same level. Zero pre-match build up, about five minutes of TV time, following the exact same formula, and featuring the same joke material from Cole and Lawler from the past 8,038 episodes of TV's longest-running scripted entertainment show in prime time on Monday nights featuring a wrestling ring. Performers aren't standing out because everything looks the same. So, the matches are "just there" at a one-star level. WWE doesn't give this reviewer much to work with on a non-descript Masters vs. MVP match or anything involving a pole and a contract. And my hope for this show has been reduced to calling for a Swagger & Roma...er...Masters tag team. Young Stallions v.2 anyone? No? How about Power & Glory? Pretty Wonderful? Moving along.

You might also be looking for an answer on how Shawn Michaels was brought back. O, wise reviewer, how could WWE turn Michaels into another running joke standing next to Triple H? Don't you remember how lame he was in "dad jeans" during the DX vs. Spirit Squad feud? Doesn't WWE remember the greatness of HBK vs. Jericho, the fundamentally-sound HBK vs. JBL, and the emotion-stirring HBK vs. Flair? Doesn't this count for something?

Ah, but as I conversed with Microscope specialist Lee Stevens this morn, there are three problems. Flair is signing autographs at VFW halls, JBL is pitching energy drinks on the radio, and Jericho is a Canadian sympathizer. So, three strikes and HBK is out of serious contention for a serious program for his return. After all, WWE has a DX DVD to plug down the road. I bet you can't wait for those "HBK is broke and pitching DX merch to earn extra money for his family" segments all over again!

Bottom line is WWE isn't in a holding pattern right now. Mid-card is just there to fill time on the road to Summerslam. Heck, two champs, Kofi and Mickie, weren't even on the show. They didn't even hype Jericho & Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme at Summerslam. Meanwhile, WWE champion Randy Orton looks weak, he's getting chummy with his SS opponent, and the importance of the title hasn't been established.

Right now, WWE expects Raw viewers to buy Summerslam for an ambiguous feud between "weak" Orton and "mixed-reaction" Cena, Hunter & The Chef vs. Orton's weak henchmen (by virtue-of-association) who struggled to beat up Hornswoggle, and a tag title match where the emphasis is on the free TV version of Show vs. Shaq down the line.

Perhaps this will all sort itself out after Summerslam. A match like Bourne vs. Swagger will actually receive some measure of emphasis. There will be follow-up on The Miz being re-instated. DX really won't emasculate Cody & Ted after the slow, painful emasculation of Randy Orton since the Raw before the Royal Rumble.

This week's answer, like last week, is patience. Or, find something else on TV. Your Raw reviewer might even slip in a plug for the one-hour ROH TV on HDNet airing one hour before Raw starting next Monday. Or, maybe you can find a hobby until the show recovers. We'll be here covering it. We'll let you know when the show finds its balance or any material value again.

Until then, just remember that when long-term planning makes your head hurt, like a December budget or setting aside money for your child's college tuition, or when you don't know how to make yourself stand-out in the marketplace because you didn't provide a potential future employer with any pre-interview build-up on your resume, just remember you can always draw a plan out of a hat and hope it sticks. Caldwell, grab a Reax!

Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.

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