By Shane McKinley, PWTorch specialist

Total No-Decision Action




No sporting event is safe from TNA booking, as they literally take the whole “it doesn’t matter who wins or loses” thing way too far. Watch as your favorite sporting events end in draws and no-contests, because that’s what people want.

***

SyFy Network to replace NXT with The Gong Show




Despite recent "blank-offs" and Cole saying that this show sucks, amazingly, NXT continues to be the most embarrassing thing WWE has done in 2010. It can't just die quietly. No, it has to make a big spectacle of how much the show stinks just to get people interested. The Syfy network has confirmed that instead of showing NXT next week, they will instead show the 1970s game show "The Gong Show."




SyFy network president Harry McHauser: "I caught myself watching NXT when they were doing another blank-off...I think it was a joke-off to kill time. Cole then told everybody that they should go gong themselves and then he banged a gong. This NXT debacle has turned into a depressing spectacle. So we're instead going to show 'The Gong Show,' a show where wacky characters did crazy things that you never expected. And at least The Gong Show never tried to present itself as a serious competition."

***

Season 17 of Raw




Time catches up to us all, and boy, did it catch up to the WWE. Watch as top WWE’s stars like Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and Batista get up and leave. Now we’re saddled with doofuses that we’re trying to make into future stars.

Also on the three-disc DVD...

-Sheamus’s improbable winning of the championship, how we created him in a test tube.

-The hot Nexus angle, before we, um, killed it at Summerslam, and before it, ah, jumped the shark with NFL mascot wannabe Darren Young whipping Nexus.

-A inside look at the spiffy office of Mr. Triple H.

-Storylines that features wrestlers acting good when they’re not working on their super-serious movies.

-The Miz talks about “The Road To Awesome,” where one must wear Capri pants, be on the cover of a b.s. magazine, and get lap dances from fat, oily men on the way of awesomeness.

-An explanation of WWE’s "off-season" (a weekend house show in Guam is an off-season), "death clauses," liability, premature deaths, and absurd Raw guest hosts!

***

Hulk Hogan Get-Well Card From The TNA Fans




***

Halloween Costumes For Your Scary Whittle Monsters!




***

Serious content starring Triple H






***

John Cena and The Rock




Rock: What it is, baby? You’re talking to the Rock. Yep, I’m starring in another Disney movie. Big money, man!




Cena: You quitter. You should be ashamed of yourself. You can be a wrestler and a movie actor.




Rock: Well, I hear you’ve got that “Legendary” movie out. How'd it do opening weekend? Be honest, you only did that flick because you wanted to be like Martin Riggs from those “Lethal Weapon” Movies.




***

WWE Not Feeling The Mattitude




Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

We suggest these recent related articles...

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw: HBK To Crossbow Lesnar On Sunday, WWE Asks Paul Bearer's Ashes To Sell Mania, Punk & Triple H's Post-Mania Plans, Cash Cow Cena = Bieber?

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - State of WM29 Card: Rock & Cena To Sing About Buffalo Nipples To Get Heat, What Heyman Should Have Stipulated To Hunter, Punk To Relieve Himself In Urn To Get Heat

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw & TNA: Using The Recently-Dead For Storylines, Bully Ray King Of Da World, Swagger To Be Sold To N. Korea Post-WM29, And Raw Gets A Flat