By Shane McKinley, PWTorch specialist

-TNA's "Hardcore Justice" PPV will showcase the blood, sweat, and tears...of another company. But, I'm excited to see One Night Stand again. How weak is the Hogan-Bischoff regime? The second an ECW tearful reunion is highlighted, Hogan and company vanish from the picture. We're excited more about 1997 that what's happening in 2010 for the TNA roster. Ouch. But, hey, A.J. Styles won that Global tinfoil belt on Impact. I'm sure he'll get extra prestige and extra airtime for being a champion in TNA. Right? Right.

I suppose Dixie Carter was watching Sandman get crucified in her Southern mansion, got misty-eyed and thought, "Boy, we sure need to improve our slumping PPV ratings." The last PPV reportedly drew about 8,000-9,000 buys. It's not surprising it was that bad. The main event title picture lately is RVD vs. Insert Name Here.

Hey, did you miss that Angle PPV match? Don't worry, there's another one on Impact. Maybe they should do a promotion where if people purchase a TNA PPV, they get a raw piece of lamb meat branded by Abyss. Oooh, my TNA package came in the mail. No, I didn't order a sex toy, honey. I ordered a wrestling PPV. I'm going to hang that lamb meat that on the wall, honey. Wait, what? It's just a piece of bologna with a post-it note! It reads, "sucker!" Augh!

-I was at Clayton Bowl on Thursday night. It's a fine establishment for your bowling, drinking, and drug-dealing needs. An old TV was broadcasting a fuzzy picture of "Big Sexy: Kevin Nash shaking hands with Kurt Angle (I thought to myself that perhaps Nash was looking to personally book himself to end another streak).

A group of people was watching along with me. Nash and Jeff Jarrett then begin to yammer on about who knows what. Then, Mr. Nash uttered the line about "you left the log in a punch bowl." And then people realized that TNA actually thought that people cared about this crap. People then proceeded to bash themselves in the head with bowling balls to relieve them of the psychotic nature of TNA.

When I watched Double J and Nash blab in the ring, I felt that old familiar sense of frustration. True, NXT's promos often contain the excitement of a state water resources board meeting, but the message delivered by TNA and company during Jeff's exchange was this: some people need to let go. Sure, ratings are ratings, but must we keep going to this oh-so-tired fallback of old stars involved in pointless feuds?

So what if Double J is siding with "the enemy?" Jeff takes three weeks to decide if he wants butter on his waffles. Will he go with waffles? Or how about Pop-Tarts? You care about what Jeff's going to eat, right? Right? Jeff's just like Shawn Michaels, don't you know? Waffles? Pop-Tarts?

Perhaps The Founder of TNA has secret desires to eat oatmeal. Trust us, what Jeff eats for breakfast is very, very important. Just think about Jarrett's daughters and the tears on their faces as they realize Jeff decides to eat...scrambled eggs. Oh, how shocking.

-Hmm...Dixie Carter got the "idea" to bring in ECW oldies for a PPV. Jeff and Nash blab blab blabbing in the ring. Abyss in the main event picture. It's all so clear. You know when Sting was talking about "deception" by Dixie Carter and the gang? And he got suspended for not following in line? I think Sting was actually talking about "Inception." It would explain the baffling booking decisions.

Paul Heyman was right in pointing out that TNA doesn't have a brand, an identity. I'll take this ECW reprieve and enjoy it.

-That's it for me. On the possibility of The Miz becoming World champion one day: he'll either become a World Champion or suffer a mental breakdown trying to get to it. (Seriously, when does this guy sleep?) Both will be entertaining to follow. Hoo-rah!

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

We suggest these recent related articles...

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw: HBK To Crossbow Lesnar On Sunday, WWE Asks Paul Bearer's Ashes To Sell Mania, Punk & Triple H's Post-Mania Plans, Cash Cow Cena = Bieber?

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - State of WM29 Card: Rock & Cena To Sing About Buffalo Nipples To Get Heat, What Heyman Should Have Stipulated To Hunter, Punk To Relieve Himself In Urn To Get Heat

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw & TNA: Using The Recently-Dead For Storylines, Bully Ray King Of Da World, Swagger To Be Sold To N. Korea Post-WM29, And Raw Gets A Flat