KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
MAY 3, 2010
LIVE FROM JACKSONVILLE, FLA.
AIRED ON USA NETWORK

[Q1]

-Highlights aired of last week's Draft Episode. The Raw opening aired. Then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show and hyped the "Cutting Edge" segment with Randy Orton as Edge's guest.

-Batista walked out and said he should be the WWE Champion. He condescendingly explained what a Last Man Standing match is. He said if you beat a wrestler down in the match and he can't answer a ten count by standing up, you win. He said that's not what happened to him. He threw to video of John Cena duct taping him to the ringpost. He said that was the most embarrassing moment of Cena's career. He said actually that wa the most embarrassing moment of Cena's life. He said that was stooping low. "Are you serious? Really? Duct tape? That's something Hornswoggle would do," he said. "I did not lose." He said there's a Beat the Clock challenge tonight to determine who gets to pick the stip for his rematch against Cena at the next PPV, Over the Limit. He said his opponent is The Miz so he's not worried at all.

Sheamus walked to the ring. Cole called him the "Breakout Star of 2010." Sheamus taunted Batista for losing. "It's that simple," he said. "Unlike you, I won my match at Extreme Rules." He told Batista he did something that he never could do but wanted to do - he took out Triple H. He said maybe he didn't get a title match at Over the Limit because "I took out the son-in-law." He said if Batista wants to fight like a man, how about they face off tonight. He said if Batista wins, he'll walk away, but if Sheamus wins, he'll get his title shot at Over the Limit. Batista paused, but then said he had his chance and he lost. Sheamus said he wasn't pinned. He called him "fella" and told him to get out of his ring. Sheamus stared him down, then told Batista it's not over. He said he will be WWE Champion again, "sooner than you think."

-Cole and Lawler hyped that Batista vs. Miz was up next.

[Q2] [c]

-Miz entered the ring with his U.S. Title belt over his shoulder, but was dressed in street clothes. Batista stood ready to wrestle. Miz held a white envelope. He said there's nothing he'd like to do more than face him right now and give him a challenge someone of his caliber deserves. He said the trauma to his face after being suck-punched last week by "a walking Sasquash" prohibits him from wrestling. He said he had a doctor's note to prove it. He held up the white envelope that said, "Doctor's Note." That drew a laugh from the fans. He told Batista to find another challenge. This is strange seeing all heels on the opening two segments of Raw. Miz said he has an ideal candidate for him and then called Daniel Bryan to the ring. Cole said Batista must be "licking his chops." Miz told his rookie to put up a fight and try not to lose in 30 seconds. Bryan said he's going to make Batista tap out.

1 -- DANIEL BRYAN vs. BATISTA

Bryan scored an early nearfall with a roll-up. He followed up with an anklelock attempt. Cole said if Batista loses, Cena gets to automatically choose the stip for their match. Why does Cena get to automatically choose? Shouldn't he had to at least last longer than Batista before losing? Bryan went for a sleeper at 1:00, countering Batista's first attempt at offense. Bryan kept going for submissions. Batista came back with a clothesine and a big boot for a two count. Lawler said Bryan was impressing him. Bryan applied an armbar crossface, although it was a struggle for him to fully reach around Batista to apply it. Batista grabbed the bottom rope to force a break. Lawler said he was almost speechless. Batista went after Bryan's knee, then hit a spear for the win at 5:06. Batista gave Bryan a Batista Bomb afterward. Then another. He left the ring, but then re-entered and gave Bryan a third Batista Bomb.

WINNER: Batista in 5:06.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Well done at telling the story they wanted to tell. Bryan got in enough offense to not seem like a total jobber, but instead was given many good offensive spots and a lot of earned credit by the announcers.

-Lawler announced Cena would face Chris Jericho in his Beat the Clock challenge. Cole plugged that Wayne Brady, this week's guest co-host, would be up next. [c]

[Q3]

-WWE Fact: WWE offers all U.S. military personnel free tickets to its live events in the U.S.

-Eve told Wayne Brady it was an honor to meet him. He said he should thank her because he loves Raw and she's his favorite Diva. Jillian walked in and offered to sing his theme song. He said he wasn't planning on that. She sang, "You're gonna love forever! Wayne! Baby remember your name..." He danced her out of the room. Brady then thanked Eve again. As she readied for her photo shoot, she noticed her title was missing. Maryse blind-sided her with the title belt, knocking her down.

-Backstage Edge told a production assistant what he wanted in his opening vignette. It was all of his violent content. The assistant said he'd have to check, they may not be able to use that. Josh Matthews walked up to him and asked him if Randy Orton will have any physical retribution in mind after what he did to him last week. Edge said everything is PG now, but he is Rated-R. He said it's time to start an era of controversy again on this live show. He said they'll find out what Orton has to say to him.

-A commercial aired hyping "A-List" vs. "R-Truth" on NXT on SyFy tomorrow night. [c]

-Ted DiBiase walked out with the Million Dollar Title belt. They showed a clip of DiBiase last week asking R-Truth to be his Virgil. Back live, DiBiase shook his head. He said he would have thought R-Truth would have relished the chance to make himself financially secure. He said he makes good money in WWE, but what will he do when his career ends. He said maybe he'll sing, but he only has one song "and it's terrible." He said his first assignment for whomever his personal assistant turns out to be will be helping him slap some sense into the wanna-be rapper that is R-Truth. "And that's what's up," he concluded.

2 -- JOHN MORRISON vs. TED DIBIASE

Morrison gave his sunglasses to a woman at ringside, which made her very happy. DiBiase went after Morrison at the start, but Morrison knocked him to the floor and dove onto him. DiBiase walked up the ramp and got himself counted out.

WINNER: Morrison via countout in 1:00.

-Morrison said he didn't want his official Raw debut to end that way. He said he'd forget about the countout if DiBiase would restart the match. DiBiase kept walking. Morrison said if he restarted the match and DiBiase won, he would become his Virgil. That enticed DiBiase into accepting the match.

[Q4] [c]

2b -- JOHN MORRISON vs. TED DIBIASE

DiBiase had Morrison in a body scissors after the break. DiBiase dominated for five minutes after the break. Morrison escaped his finisher. DiBiase followed with a powerslam. Morrison kicked out. DiBiase again went for his finisher, but Morrison pushed off the middle turnbuckle and scored a leverage pin. DiBiase got bug-eyed and attacked Morrison during his celebration. Lawler called it another classless move. He said when you have cash you don't need class, apparently. R-Truth made the save.

WINNER: Morrison in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Basic solid TV match that got it's intended message across well.

-They aired some clips of Bryan holding his own against Batista earlier, then plugged Cena vs. Jericho later. [c]

-An NXT commercial hyped that WWE Pros are getting ready to vote.

-The Smackdown Rewind aired.

-John Cena made his ring entrance.

[Q5]

-Jericho walked out onto the stage and said he has already beaten and embarrassed Cena on so many occasions that to do it again would be a waste of his time. He said he did find a perfect substitute, though. He said this wrestler has been begging for the chance to humiliate him against these "parasitic troglodytes." Out walked Wade Barrett. He said he will not only last 5:06, he'll beat Cena. The bad news is we have to listen to that NXT theme song a second time.

3 -- JOHN CENA vs. WADE BARRETT

Cena applied an early headlock. Cena dropped Barrett onto a meddling Jericho at ringside. Jericho yanked Cena to the floor as Cena tried to re-enter the ring. The ref didn't see it. Jericho threw Cena into the announce table. Barrett then went after Cena at ringside and then in the ring with stomps and punches. Jericho bragged up Barrett to Cole at ringside. Cole said Barrett may be good on Tuesdays, "but this is the big leagues." Barrett methodically beat on Cena with less than a minute left. Lawler said it'd be a huge upset. Cena surprised Barrett with a sudden STF and got the tapout with 27 seconds left on the clock.

WINNER: Cena at 4:39.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Afterward Cena was about to announce the match stip for Batista at Over the Limit, but Sheamus charged to the ring and knocked Cena down with a front thrust kick to the head. [c]

[Q6]

-Cole hyped that the Cutting Edge would be on Raw for the first time in three-and-a-half years.

4 -- MARYSE vs. NIKKI BELLA (w/Bri Bella)

WINNER: Maryse with the French Kiss impact DDT in 1:00.

-Afterward, Maryse introduced her new photo shoot which she called Maryse's Sexiest Sexy photos or something like that. It was pictures of her posing over a KO'd Eve. Eve ran out and chased Maryse out of the ring. [c]

-Zack Ryder said everyone is talking about the biggest news coming out of last week's draft - that he stayed on Raw. He said he is single and ready to mingle. He said he brought two hot Divas to ringside to watch him wrestle, Gail Kim and Alicia. He said last week on Superstars he Zach-Attacked Primo Colon. He said, "I watch the news. Don't make me act like those senators from Arizona and force me to check your papers." Wayne Brady appeared on the big screen and said he has a perfect opponent for him. Out came Mark Henry.

5 -- ZACK RYDER vs. MARK HENRY

Cole said Ryder's single legged trunks are like when Lawler used to wrestle the singlet with one strap. Lawler said, "What do you mean, used to?" They kept showing Kim and Alicia reacting. Ryder got beat up early, but made a comeback and scored a whole one count. He hit the Rough Ryder for a two count seconds later. Henry shortly thereafter finished Ryder with a powerslam. The Divas left on Henry's arms.

WINNER: Henry in 2:00.

-Miz complained to Jericho about how Show tried to take his Money-Maker away from him, his ability to talk. He said people pay to hear him talk. They continued to share complaints about Big Show. "Between the two of us, we carried him for 16 months," Jericho said. He complained that he showed his gratitude by punching them both. Miz said there's not much they can do now that he's on Smackdown. Jericho said he had an idea. They walked away to talk further in private.

-Lawler and Cole hyped "The Cutting Edge." Lawler called it the most controversial talk show in the history of Raw.

[Q7] [c]

-Vladimir Kozlov told Brady that it's a good thing he's not foolish like MacGruber and he'll give him proper opponent. Santino walked in dressed like a member of the Brady Bunch cast. Brady said he couldn't be in that family nor could Santino because neither are white. Santino said he thinks he and Vlad would have good chemistry like Sandra Bullock and her creep cheating husband. William Regal walked in and told Vlad they have a match. Santino was upset and told Regal and Vlad that he was one of the "seven viewers" who saw their break-up. Regal said since then they've made up. Santino stormed off. Brady turned and asked Goldust if he's Alice. Goldust was dressed up as a maid, but he asked, "Who's Alice." Cole and Lawler chuckled. Cole said, "It can get a bit weird around here."

-Cole and Lawler reviewed the Raw acquisitions. Cole said he's excited about Ezekiel Jackson, who is currently injured. Lawler hyped Great Khali and The Hart Dynasty. They showed the Hart Dynasty heading toward the entrance tunnel. [c]

6 -- THE HART DYNASTY vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV & WLLIAM REGAL

Miz and Jericho joined Cole and Lawler on commentary. They took turns bragging themselves up and bad-mouthing Big Show. Jericho said they could combine forces and easily become tag champs again. Miz said if he was a seven foot, five-hundred pound giant and he sucker-punched someone, their head would be in the upper deck. DHS showed some fire and energy in a rapid-fire attack sequence on Regal leading to a tapout win with a Sharpshooter.

WINNERS: Hart Dynasty in 3:00.

[Q8]

-After the match Miz charged at DHS, but DHS turned it into a tackle and then punched away at him. Jericho entered and gave DHS a Code Breaker. Miz and jericho stood over DHS and admired their work together. Jericho raised Miz's arm. The crowd booed. Back to ringside, Cole and Lawler speculated about Miz and Jericho teaming up to win the tag team titles. Miz then gave DHS the Skull Crushing Finale. Interesting dynamic, and a good idea to team these two together. It makes sense storyline-wise since they both teamed with Big Show, but the dynamic can be fun and it can eventually lead to Miz vs. Jericho with one or the other turning babyface and feuding with each other. [c]

-Cole plugged that Flavor Flav would guest host Raw next week.

-Edge then came out to host "The Cutting Edge." They did a nice job teasing that something R-Rated or controversial could happen on this segment. It also portrayed Edge as a big deal. Lawler said Edge promised to do and say what he wants. Edge said the most controversial star in Raw history is back. He said fans may want an explanation for what he did to Orton last week. He said they don't deserve an explanation, but he'll offer one anyway. He said it's fun to play with their emotions.

He said when he returned at the Royal Rumble, he was poised to become the white knight on Smackdown. He said he was positioned to beat Jack Swagger and become World Champion, but last week DiBiase won a battle royal and he got drafted to Raw and, poof, there went all of that hard work up in smoke. He said he figured he had to start over on a brand new show. He said he was frustrated and angry. "You'll have to excuse me," he said. He said spearing Orton was an act of defiance, but it was cathartic. He said he may have cost Orton his championship, but when it was all over, he was the most talked about Superstar on Raw or any other brand after the draft. He then introduced Orton. Instead, Wayne Brady walked out onto the stage. He is in the building. Everything so far was backstage and possibly pre-taped.

Edge seemed happy. He smiled and welcomed him and said, "Randy Orton can wait." Edge asked how he was feeling and what brought him out. Brady said he's been a huge wrestling fan his whole life. He asked him if he can try to feel what it's like to walk in his footsteps just a little, to "walk in his shadow." Edge told him to have some fun. Brady then stood off the stool and asked, "What's up, Jacksonville?" He said he said he didn't come to Raw to challenge anyone, but tell any other guest host who wants to come on Raw that he's the best. He named some past guest hosts. He even told Bob Barker, "I am darker!" Orton interrupted and walked to the ring, looking quite serious. They went to some cool wide shots during the show with a roaming camera at the concourse or upper deck level. It changed up the stale camera angles they've stuck with for years.

Orton walked into the ring and waited for a chant of "Randy, Randy" to start. It didn't last long or get too strong as Orton gave Brady an RKO. Brady gets a C- for how he took it. Edge tried to keep his distance from Orton and told him he's not going to RKO him. Edge said it won't happen for two reasons. He said last week was a case of Orton being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Two, he said the last time he was a guest on the show was years ago, and something happened. A loud "RKO! RKO!" chant broke out. If only Edge had gotten a chant of "Spear! Spear!" that loud, he might not be standing there on Raw as a heel. He said they became Rated RKO and dominated Raw. He said he knows that it can happen again, only this time bigger and better.

[Q9] He said Cena and Batista will beat the pulp out of each other at Over the Limit, and then they can swoop in and pick their bones and be the real two-man power trip. He asked who could stop them. Orton slowly blinked and stared down Edge. Edge asked if that idea didn't appeal to him. He asked if he was too big of a star to share the spotlight now. He said he didn't plan to spear him last week, but now he's glad he did. He said he did everything one is supposed to do. He said he came back from an injury, filmed a commercial, and gave them a catchphrase to chant, "yet you didn't fully accept me." He said then there's Orton, a man who cares about no one but himself, and the people get behind him and support him. Nice play on reality. He said, "I don't get it. It's not fair." He said all of that work, everything he put into it, all gone up in smoke. He said it's not fair he got dropped into Raw because of a battle royal. "None of this is fair to me!" he exclaimed. He said Orton is going to listen to him.

He said Orton will join him because if he doesn't, that spear last week is just the start. He said he will do it week after week until he is just an afterthought on the show. He asked if Orton was listening and if anything registered. He demanded he say something. Orton continued to intensely stare at him and breath heavily. Orton went for an RKO, but Edge blocked it and kicked Orton in the mouth. Orton grabbed at his nose or mouth. Edge set up a spear as Orton slowly stood. Cole said Orton has no idea Edge is setting up for a spear. That meant Orton knew he was setting up a spear. When Edge went for the spear, Orton countered with an RKO. "Same old Randy Orton; dangerous as ever," said Cole. The crowd chanted, "Randy! Randy!" Cole said Orton's mental stability can still be questioned. An official checked on Brady's condition. Orton didn't care, as he stared down at Edge as he slowly came to from the RKO. The show closed with a close-up of Orton.

I liked that segment. It addressed the real life frustrations of Edge not catching on as a babyface on Smackdown. It simultaneously addressed the elephant in the room for the last couple months that Orton is getting cheered despite doing nothing to deserve it or atone for his past.

[Torch art credit Grant Gould (c) PWTorch.com]

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