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ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw & ECW: Jesse Ventura Tells Wrestling Fans That They Are Being Taken Advantage Of, Sheamus Is A Pale Umaga
Nov 25, 2009 - 12:18:03 AM
"Gimme the reason why the mind's a terrible thing to waste
'Understanding is cruel' the monkey said as it launched to space
Know that I'm gonna be your dangerous side effect.
Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away"
-"Mind Eraser, No Chaser" by Them Crooked Vultures
-Those too-long Raws feel more like the USA Network punishing WWE. Raw was a dull Thanksgiving family get-together. Highlights of the night were hearing the banter of two cranky uncles and hearing that Sheamus got promoted at his job. Sheamus wasn't even on the radar three months ago. And now he's facing John Cena for the WWE championship at the next PPV.
-Jesse Ventura did a good job. Hearing Jesse and Vince McMahon badger at each other during a crappy battle royal was just like the good ol' days. The only bit I think Jesse failed was him promoting his new "conspiracy show." It doesn't make sense. Ventura promotes a show that promises people to show them that they are being taken advantage of. Problem was, he did this to people who know they are being taken advantage of (e.g. wrestling fans). How much for DX glowsticks again?
-The big Sheamus push is a good deal. For one, WWE needs to push new blood. Their older stars are dropping like flies tThe Smackdown roster is especially hurting). Two, one of the main complaints against WWE is that it's the same old stars that you saw before. Three, I like Sheamus. I like the fact that he was involved in a neat feud with Goldust. I also dig that he injures refs for real and has goofy facial expressions.
How do we feel about Sheamus? He's a pale Umaga. Heck, we can call him "Palemaga," Shenitsky, or SheKnox. Whatever. He's just another monster for John Cena. I'm wishing that they will go with the "conspiracy" angle with John Cena, but more importantly I'm looking forward to Sheamus having a good showing at the PPV and for fans to buy into him. What's next for Sheamus after that? A Money in the Bank appearance. Then joining up with Umaga, Snitsky, and Mike Knox working at the car wash. Some say that Sheamus has "it." Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. I just want to eat my lucky charms in peace.
-It was hard to remember much from the Raw show, but the one thing that did pop up was that "Big Game Hunting" game for Wii. Fine piece of anti-hunting work. A grim Wii hunter shoots innocent animals and puts their severed heads on his wall. If I shoot enough critters, will I unlock "Drunk" Mode? The commercial was so cold they should have called in Batista.
-Speaking about Batty, kudos to WWE for having Batista walk out from his confrontation with Kane to drive home his coward heel persona. Now if they could only give Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, and Big Show titanium knee replacements, we would be in business.
-On ECW, Shelton Benjamin is facing Christian at the "Tender Loving Care for our old wrestlers" PPV in a ladder match. This matchup, for some reason, reminds me of the ladder match between Christian and Frankie Kazarian in a old TNA PPV that I saw. Shelton's still a face, so the angle of the match is that Christian and Shelton want to "steal the show" and show off some ECW pride.
-I can see why lately ECW is having "special guest stars" show up like C.M. Punk and Matt Hardy. They probably need it. Raw is bad, but it's not "Here's a Lance Archer squash followed up by a Abraham Washington talk show bit" bad.
-No one denies that it makes good business sense to protect concept matches (chair matches, ladder matches, etc.). You can pump up that these concept matches "happen only once a year." I still can't shake off the feeling that the PPV will be largely weak sauce, considering how the other "chaotic" WWE PPVs went down. If the TNA PPV delivers another epic sauce PPV, more people will start crossing the line.
-Good for ROH having PPVs on the Internet. One of the main knocks against ROH is that, for many, it's damn hard to find the product.
-Lastly, on ECW, Vladmir Kozlov is doing his best "mindlessly head nodding" ever, Yoshi Tatsu finished William Regal off with a quick kick (thus saving us from another fugly Tatsu-Regal match), and Ezekiel Jackson wants to quit his job of "mindless head nodder."
That's it for me. Have to go watch "So You Think You Can Dance." Can't miss Legacy and Katherine. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
