By Curtis Shanks, PWTorch Specialist

Welcome to the TNA Impact edition of Under the Microscope. This is not a detailed recap of the show, but a review for those of you that saw the show but didn't actually "watch" it. We're here to point out those little tidbits you may have missed, make some random observations, or use a little research to dig deeper into what was on the show. Cue the opening pyro.

Tell me a story

For some reason, we get Super Dave on this week's show. He's not too familiar with the product (did you catch him calling Borash B.J. later in the show?), as he was more concerned with plugging his new Spike TV show premiering in a couple days. Mick Foley joined in the hype during the opening segment, promoting that he has a new book coming out late in summer 2010.

Foley has written memoirs, as well as children's books in his writing career. The next release will fall into the memoir category, as "Cross the Line" will be out sometime towards the end of next year, according to a blog on Foley's MySpace page. As you can guess by the title, the book will deal with Foley departing WWE and embarking on the next chapter of his career in TNA. Two or three chapters are sure to center around Foley's love of art, specifically the cherished Tweet & Tweak Connection poster we have all come to love on Impact.

Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm

Jay Lethal doesn't see Super Dave, or even Bob Einstein (the name of the real life person who plays the character). Lethal instead sees Marty Funkhouser, a character Einstein played on "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Someone in TNA is a huge fan of the show, obvious by the Schmohawk references the past few weeks. But I prefer to go a different route, as I will always see Super Dave as Larry Mittleman.

Mittleman was a character on the brilliantly amazing show "Arrested Development." Equipped with a 'Surrogate' cap, a head mounted camera, and an expressionless face, the character acted as the eyes and ears of Jeffrey Tambor's character when he was under house arrest. If you're unfamiliar with the show, I suggest you take the time to watch it. Nothing is quite as funny as Larry being fired via headset while looking at his own reflection in the mirror.

Tracy Brooks's fight

As Alissa Flash focused her attack on the right arm of Tracy Brooks during their match this week, Tenay and Taz made reference to a disability that has caused pain in Tracy's arm. This is the first we've heard of it on TV, but the problem does exist for her. Brooks was born with Erb's palsey, a condition that can cause paralysis of the arm due to damage of the nerves.

She has done interviews in the past dealing with her difficulties training to become a wrestler while living with the condition. She has suffered from limited mobility in the arm as a result of the condition. It's not a story that every fan has heard about, or one that is making Internet news. But I applaud her for overcoming her obstacles and realizing her dream of getting into the ring.

The streak continues

Jay Lethal just can't win a match. With Lethal facing the past-his-prime Jim Neidhart this week, it looked as though Black Machismo would get a rare notch in the win column. But that was not the case, as Lethal fell victim to a powerbomb in relatively short fashion. If you want to find Lethal's last win on Impact or a TNA PPV you have to go back to May 24. But that was a three-on-three tag match, not a singles match. So when was Lethal's last one-on-one win?

You have to go all the way back to August 10 of last year when Lethal defeated Sonjay Dutt in a Black Tie Brawl and Chain match at the Hard Justice PPV. If you're looking for his last singles win on television, you need to go back even further. The last time Jay Lethal won a singles match on Impact was April 17, 2008 - 575 days ago. He defeated Johnny Devine in that contest, but was defeated soon afterwards when Petey Williams cashed in his X Division title briefcase.

Angle vs. Hogan

We've been seeing quotes from different talents as we go to and from commercials about Hulk Hogan joining TNA, and it's Kurt Angle's turn this week. He has some nice things to say about what Hogan can do for TNA (like they'd air anything else) and mentions his experience with Hogan in the ring as well.

After Kurt Angle was forced to shave his head, he began appearing on TV with a wig to cover the embarrassment. I still remember a Smackdown a few weeks later where Hogan promised to tear Angle's wig off his head - and did so by show's end. Angle later faced Hogan at King of the Ring, forcing him to tap out. Leading up to the HBK vs. Hogan match a couple of years ago, the two teamed during a Raw main event, only to have HBK superkick Hogan before the show faded to black. The main-event match before that storyline swerve saw HBK and Hogan facing Angle and Carlito.

We could also go back to Backlash 2000. That PPV gave us Angle vs. Big Show, not Hogan. However, Show was a comedic character at the time, impersonating different wrestlers. Hogan was the choice for that match, as I can hardly forget Big Show in a skull cap and bright yellow tights.

Proper UV protection is a must

Last week, I pointed out a Desmond Wolfe quote and its similarity to a Duran Duran song. This week it's D'Angelo Dinero's turn. Asked about his shades, he replies "Pope wears these shades 'cuz his future here in TNA, like yours, is very bright." This brings to mind Timbuk3 and their '80s hit, "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades."

We could also have gone in the direction of one-hit wonder Corey Hart, and his single "Sunglasses at Night." Please oh please say we can get a "You Spin Me Round" reference at the next TV tapings. Even a "Safety Dance" reference and I'd be happy. We can dance if we want to!

Surely That's False

As Samoa Joe applied an STF in this week's main event, Taz was gracious enough to explain the acronym - step-over, toehold with facelock. Mike Tenay chimed in with one that I have never heard of before, calling it a "Submission Through Fear." Surely there's more that STF could stand for. A quick Google search yields results like "Special Task Force," "Slips, Trips, and Falls" or "Saskatchewan Teachers Federation." Or we could just make up our own. Suspiciously Threatening Futon? But none of those have anything to do with TNA or wrestling.

If we want to relate STF to wrestling, we could just say "So Terribly Fake." If we're looking at TNA specifically, I know the perfect way to sum it up - with three STFs. Sometimes They're Funny and Sometimes They're Fascinating, but Sometimes They Frustrate.

Numbers crunch - Quantity doesn't always equal quality

Last week, we looked at every individual to hold a title in the big four promotions since 1990. We crunched some numbers on those 356 individuals, but only looked at the number of title reigns, not the actual length of each reign. Rather than looking at the quantity of titles for those wrestlers, this week we'll take a look at the quality of each talent's title reigns.

Which wrestler to hold a title since 1990 averaged the longest reign combining all their title wins? That would be Gillberg, with one total reign (the Light Heavyweight title) lasting 453 days. Wait...Gillberg? We can't let him top a number crunch. In order to find out who's got the best average duration for all titles won since 1990, we'll look at the individuals with five-plus title reigns.

Hulk Hogan - 158.9 days
Lex Luger - 143.5 days
Arn Anderson - 139.5 days
Shane Douglas - 137.9 days
Shelton Benjamin - 129.0 days

Not exactly the top five you'd expect in the last twenty years. Shelton Benjamin? On the other end of the spectrum is the short title reign. Our shortest averages since 1990 would be Lash LeRoux and Jillian Hall, who had their one and only major title wins last less than one day. So we'll again look at just wrestler's with five or more title reigns to get our leaders.

Buff Bagwell - 21.6 days
Juventud - 24.7 days
Mick Foley - 25.4 days
Elix Skipper - 28.2 days
D'Lo Brown - 29.0 days

Some wrestlers did not make either of those lists, but do have very interesting numbers when we look at the lengths of all their title reigns. Each of the first seven title reigns of Bret Hart's career lasted over 100 days, but not a single one of the next nine reached that milestone. Lex Luger had four different title reigns last less than a week. Take those out and he'd be number one for highest duration average at over 250 days per title run.

Yokozuna wins the hit-and-miss award for his four career title wins. He held the World title twice - once for 280 days, once for less than a day. He also won two tag team titles - one reign lasting 175 days, the other less than a day. Honorable mention for shortest average duration goes to Masato Tanaka. While he didn't qualify with only three career title wins, those three reigns combined for a meager total of 18 days - an average of six days per title run.

Curtis Shanks is a self-described wrestling nerd who, contrary to popular belief, does have a social life. Feedback is welcome as comments, suggestions and questions can be sent to Curtis at curtisshanks.torch@gmail.com.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt