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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 6/22 WWE Raw: Cena's new colors, Trump references WCW, A Bucket of Chicken, Goldberg's blonde wig revisited (w/VIDEO)
Jun 23, 2009 - 12:58:05 PM
Thank you for joining me as put Raw "Under The Microscope." If you're new to "The Microscope," this is not a complete recap of the show. Instead, it's a closer look at Monday's broadcast.
Power to the people
Thanks to everyone who voted in our first Microscope Poll. I will try to do this every Monday for Raw and every Friday for Smackdown. I will throw out possible topics for "a closer look" later in The Microscope. Since Raw is live and I don't look at spoilers for Smackdown, I will just use by best guess as to possible topics on the show. Thanks for supporting the column and thanks for voting.
The top two vote-getters were "Special Stunt Episodes" and "Donald Trump." At the time of this writing, they were separated by one vote, so let's look at both!
Would Donald Sorrytobotheryou have been as successful?
The Donald Trump era kicked off Raw as the new owner was seen at the start of the start of the opening montage and his name was prominently displayed on top of the Raw logo on graphics and the microphone cubes. It also prompted several fans to construct "Donald Trumps Vince" and "Trump Trumps McMahon" signs.
The word Trump, used in its verb form, is defined as "to get the better of," which Donald has been able to accomplish on numerous occasions. It's also a solid example of someone's name fitting their attitude or profession. Tiger Woods matches one of his most important pieces of professional equipment. In the 1970s, there was a baseball player who spent more time on the disabled list than on the field. His name was Mickey Klutts.
I'll leave it to you to figure out NASCAR driver Dick Trickle.
Go away! Where are you going?
You probably shouldn't take Vince McMahon's threat to Trump too seriously as the two seem to enjoy each other's company. Trump has hosted a pair of WrestleManias and even a World Bodybuilding Federation competition with McMahon. He was also responsible for McMahon's shorter hair cut as his wrestler of choice, Bobby Lashley, defeated McMahon's Umaga at WM 23.
Short term investing
"Trump Finally Invested In Something Good" could be seen from the audience, a rather lukewarm sign of welcome to the new owner. Although Trump has enjoyed success with several of his ventures, he has also fallen short, including declaring bankruptcy with The Trump Plaza Hotel and selling part of his stake in the Trump Taj Mahal.
More non-traditional investments include Trump Vodka, Trump Steaks, Trump Ice Cream, and Trump Bottled Water. Trump and McMahon also share a similar investment. McMahon has the XFL, while Trump was behind the USFL's New Jersey Generals. While McMahon's XFL lasted just one season, the USFL survived for three years.
Perhaps his most interesting marketing tool was Trump: The Game. Since it is all about the game and how you play it, the game is played by 3-4 players who each have a T-shaped game piece which will moved around the game board. The players buy property with Trump money and use Trump cards for other advantages or punishments. It's quite similar to Monopoly, but without the thimble.
As for the sign which said "Orton Can't Play The Game," Trump: The Game is for players 12 years and up. Granted, DiBiase may have to help him with the tougher moves.
If for any reason she can not perform her duties...
As we say goodbye to Miss WrestleMania, we say hello to the Miss California controversy. Trump apparently ended the Santina Marella love affair with his words, "something I did to Miss California, you're fired!" Trump recently took the crown from Miss California Carrie Prejean for breach of contract issues, stemming from allegedly not representing the title at organization-approved functions. Prejean came under scrutiny during the pageant for her answer about a gay marriage question and then scantily-clad photographs which were uncovered after the pageant.
Careful, Orton will kick you in the head for that
Jerry Lawler asked the pertinent question, "How many times do you think Trump has uttered the words "you're fired?" Of course, we would have no idea about his personal business dealings or what he does in his private moments "Trumping" around the house, but as for on television, we can get a more accurate estimate.
There have been six seasons of "The Apprentice" and two more years of the Celebrity version, resulting in 136 candidates. I believe he closes the season by not actually firing someone. Instead, his catchphrase changes to "you're hired." So, the winners and runner-ups don't get the firing treatment, so a friendly estimate is 120 times with the show, in addition to any commercial work, plus The Apprentice Video Game and you have a number greater than the number of people who would want his hairstyle and less than the number of people who are happy that their self-tanner didn't come out like his.
I didn't realize there would be so much math, let's move on.
You are so special
Although this was the first time someone else owned Raw, it's certainly not the first time WWF/WWE has gone the way of a special episode in the hopes of an increased rating. They celebrated the 10th and 15th anniversaries of the show, as well as the 800th episode. They televised several of the talent drafts and this year, The Slammy Awards made their debut on Monday nights.
February 1997 marked the first two-hour broadcast and the Raw Homecoming in October of 2005 celebrated the return to the USA network with a three-hour broadcast. The three-hour tour seems to be popular with someone in the front office as WWE has gone back to it several times including just last week with the 3-for-All episode.
Other special nights included The Raw Bowl, which featured the then-WWF's version of The Super Bowl as four teams faced off in a four corners match which featured cheerleaders, timeouts, and a marching band. The Smoking Gunns retained their titles in the match against Sycho Sid & The 1-2-3 Kid, Owen Hart & Yokozuna, and Razor Ramon & Savio Vega.
Raw has also served as salute to the armed forces with "Tribute to the Troops" and sadly, it's also been needed as a tribute to three different wrestlers who passed away under decidedly different circumstances. In May 1999, the show paid respects to the memory of Owen Hart, just 24 hours after he fell to his death during the previous night's pay-per-view.
In November 2005, the show stopped for Eddie Guerrero who was found unconscious in his hotel room, just before he was supposed to wrestle at the Smackdown tapings. In addition to the special episode of Raw on November 14, that week's Smackdown also was in honor of Guerrero.
In June 2007, WWE dedicated their show to Chris Benoit, who was found dead in his Georgia home at the time of that Monday night's show. He had missed the pay-per-view the night before as well as other live events that weekend. Benoit, his wife and their son were found around 2:30 that day and only after the broadcast was it determined that Benoit was the one who killed both Nancy and Daniel before committing suicide. Despite the earlier tribute, WWE quickly tried to put some distance between the Benoit name and WWE business.
Power to the people
Again, thank you for voting and we will do this again next week.
Woof
The most potentially disturbing sign of the night belongs to the person holding the placard which read "Hi Mama and Puppies."
There better be dogs at home.
Alex Wright is here?!?!
Although Trump did well in his role on Monday, he did have an unfortunate choice of words as he was heralding his matchmaking abilities. "Not only are you getting World Championship matches..."
Technically, he is correct, but the way it was worded, I quickly looked up to see if Lash LeRoux was going to be facing Elix Skipper.
John is modeling the summer line
Several readers wrote in to comment on John Cena's "new" wardrobe. He's still going with the t-shirt, wristband, and baseball hat look, but with markedly different colors. Several of you speculated that he was saluting the Packers for the hometown Green Bay crowd. Some of you even questioned whether he was making political statements with his choices of hues. I'll agree with those who went with the "John Deere" theory.
I do like the possibilities with the hometown colors as it would be a fashionable take on the old Mick Foley "cheap heat" of simple dropping the name of the current location into one of his promos. Ben Curtis and the late Payne Stewart had a similar agreement on the PGA tour as he would wear the colors of the local NFL team during that week's tournament.
Ah, memories
Cena tried to convince The Miz of his toughness by reminiscing. "I put my life on the line at Hammerstein Ballroom and came out in one piece," insisted Cena, referring to several happy moments at that particular venue.
One Night Stand in 2006 saw Cena compete against Rob Van Dam and the pro-ECW crowd quickly shared their thoughts with Cena including several chants of "You can't wrestle." The night ended with Cena being attacked by a man in a motorcycle helmet and being speared through a table. When the helmet came off and it was revealed to be Edge, the crowd started a "Thank you Edge" celebration.
Long before we couldn't "C" Cena, Hammerstein hosted the early episodes of Raw, featuring Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett on commentary. ECW's final Paul Heyman-run pay-per-view, "Guilty as Charged," emanated from the Ballroom and Ring of Honor has featured shows at the site.
Hammerstein has also hosted musical performances from artists such as Foo Fighters, Kanye West, and Kelly Clarkson.
NOOOO! Oh, it's a metaphor
"You find out the Real World has been cancelled."--John Cena
Apparently Cena was just trying to intimidate The Miz. The show has been picked up and the latest version from Cancun, Mexico will premiere later this year. In 2010, the show will move to Washington D.C.
Crisis averted.
I have to go really, really, really bad
Whatever you used to do during the commercial breaks took a week's break as Trump provided commercial-free wrestling on Monday. That didn't mean we were without revenue as Gillette Fusion Power made appearances on graphics for The Bash and the announcers got up close and personal with a bucket of KFC's, Kentucky Grilled Chicken. The Transformers new movie also made several selective appearances teasing the preview which was featured after the show.
Although I don't think it was a paid ad, someone should be happy with national exposure. During the segment featuring Vince McMahon and a soon-to-be very exhausted limo driver, a sign could be clearly seen in the background advertising a piece of land. "For Sale--This Corner 1.4 acres--Will Build To Suit." The phone number was at the bottom of the sign and I can only hope the phone was ringing.
No. No he's not
C.M. Punk attempted to compliment upcoming opponent Jeff Hardy with the line, "He's high energy, no doubt." He may be high energy, but he's no High Energy. That would be the tag team of Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware. Until Hardy comes out with baggy pants and bright suspenders, please use the lower case "high energy."
More math? Ugh.
As Rey Mysterio had Edge and Chris Jericho lined up for one of his favorite moves, the announcers got excited about a potential double 619, with Todd Grisham adding "make it a 12-2-18." At first I thought he was reciting one of those free long distance combinations until I realized that he didn't double the total number of 619 to reach the answer of 1,238. Instead, he took the digits individually as 6 was double into 12, 1 became 2 and 9 ballooned to 18.
I'm quite sure you caught onto this long before I did. If a train leaves Chicago traveling at 60 miles per hour...
Please solve for x and show your work.
4th stage, in-laws..and they brought luggage
The announcers reminded us that this isn't the first time WWE has traveled to the "Three Stages of Hell," but it has been "six and a half years." The last match featured Triple H taking on Shawn Michaels at Armageddon in 2002. The first match was a Street Fight, followed by a Steel Cage match, and then they finished with a Ladder match.
At Vengeance in 2005, Steve Austin faced off in another "Three Stages of Hell" match against Triple H. This pairing followed the path of regular match, Street Fight, and then Steel Cage.
It's gold Jerry. Gold!
Goldust continues to take us down memory lane as last week he brought us Ahmed Johnson and this week a former World Champion, albeit in a blond wig. "It worked so well for Goldberg," insisted Goldust as he tried the hairpiece on McMahon. When Goldberg debuted in the WWE, Goldust introduced himself in the locker room insisting that he was actually related to him in the "happy golden family."
Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." You can leave comments below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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