The Specialists
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 12/15 WWE RAW: True love with Kane Kane and Kelly Kelly, Santa Claus, the unpredictable Western Pennsylvania
Dec 16, 2008 - 8:47:34 PM |
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By Lee Stevens, PWTorch specialist
Before we put Raw "Under The Microscope," I need to salute John Payant, a reader who pointed out something from last week's show. During the C.M. Punk Slammy award acceptance speech, he thanked a long list of people, including Scotty Goldman, Mike Schmidt, and Rocky Balboa. John insists that he also heard a reference to the M.S. Posse. If that's true, it could be a long overdue mention of the Mean Street Posse. The Microscope can not confirm the reference, but we would like to thank John for taking the time to write and bring back Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs, at least for a brief moment. It's a Mean Street Posse Christmas, just as it should be.
A quick reminder for new readers; this is not a full recap, this is simply a closer look at some of the things you may have missed during the episode. Perhaps it's a recurring theme, a ghost of Raw's past, or a basic mistake, but regardless of the category, it's time to take a closer look at Raw by going "Under The Microscope."
She loves me, she loves me not
If you've been paying attention during the last decade, you realize that Kane's infatuation with Kelly Kelly will not end well. It's been almost ten years since Kane fell in love with Tori (not Torrie Wilson), only to be betrayed by X-Pac. As many of you know, you don't get over that kind of pain easily, so it was many years before our shy hero would ever allow someone else to touch his heart.
Several years later, he would learn to love again as he attempted to court Lita. To show his true feelings, he thought about flowers and jewelry, but instead, he went the kidnapping route. Despite his claim that he had impregnated her and the romantic nature of his actions, this was a love destined to fail as Lita eventually betrayed Kane for Edge.
Then there's Katie Vick.
(composing myself)
Sorry, it's still just too painful to talk about. If an emotionally scarred person who burned down his house, killing his parents, forcing him into a mental asylum, and prompting him to wear a mask, only to develop anger-management issues resulting in acts such as kidnapping, abuse of religious officials, and attaching jumper cables to a man's testicles can't work it out with the ladies, what chance do any of us have?
As for the current objection of his affection, Kelly Kelly, she was introduced to WWE television as the love interest of Mike Knox, who prevented her from sharing her exhibitionist tendencies. Just in case you wondered why he was extremely unpopular, there's your answer.
Thanks, but no thanks
As Kelly Kelly slowly walked away from Kane, she passed D-Lo Brown and Jamie Noble. While it was nice to see both men, for storyline purposes, Noble wasn't the best relationship resource for Kelly Kelly. The last time we saw Noble in a productive on-air role, he was busy losing Layla to the strong-armed efforts of William Regal. How to protect yourself from an overbearing suitor? Sorry, I have no idea.
A woman scorned
The choice of Miz to receive the jealousy inspired choke slam may turn out to be random, but for those paying attention, it could be long overdue revenge. When Kelly Kelly started spending time away from Mike Knox, she started spending time with Balls Mahoney, much to the amusement of one Miz, who regularly mocked Kelly Kelly and the less than refined object of her affection. Wait, someone who is ridiculed for their looks and who channels that embarrassment into violence? Maybe Kelly Kelly and Kane Kane could be a couple couple.
You know, the Fiji tracks
I appreciate WWE giving Deuce a second shot by reminding us that he's actually Jimmy Snuka's son. Plus, it's a natural fit for a possible association with The Legacy. I hope they'll continue readjusting his character from the '50s greaser, starting with his hometown. If he's going to play up his roots as the second generation of "The Superfly," it might work better to have him coming from Fiji or his actually birthplace, Hawaii. "The Other Side of the Tracks" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
On a similar note, it seems as if they're not quite sure what to do with Manu as they try to get across his island heritage, but still announce him as hailing from Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania. Of course, that's actually the truth, but since when is that the primary concern of the WWE? Part of the allure of The Wild Samoans was that they were from somewhere I had never visited. When I heard that they were from the Island of Samoa, I had no idea where it was, what they did there, or what to expect from them. I realize that 25 years later it's a different world and we understand other countries much better than we did then, but when I hear that Manu is from Lehigh Valley, I don't suddenly get nervous that "anything could happen." I've been to Allentown. Any place with that many Applebee's doesn't strike fear into my heart.
$hawn Michael$
The D-X ads featuring an upbeat Shawn Michaels are a bit confusing considering his current depressing economic situation with JBL, however it was a welcome moment of explanation to hear the announcers remind us that the ads were taped several weeks ago before his financial woes. I've read complaints from fans insisting that it's a ridiculous storyline because they don't actually believe that Michaels is bankrupt. While I respect your opinion, I don't believe that The Undertaker is actually dead and he's been popular for more than a decade.
If it happens off camera, does it make a sound
A wild, thunderous, standing ovation to the WWE for having a title switch not televised. I am not encouraging them to make this a habit, but having the Tag Team Titles change hands at a house show gives a sense of realism to the festivities. NFL records are often set in games that aren't on Monday Night Football and players frequently have career games even if the game wasn't televised. I don't feel that we missed anything by not having a title change live on TV. In fact, I think it adds something. That's a small detail that gives the viewer the idea that the WWE Universe is seven days a week and not just Mondays at 9:00 p.m. and then on Tuesday and then a long break until Friday.
You better watch out, you better not cry
Charlie Haas as St. Nick has extended his imitations to beyond the WWE ring, but it isn't the first time we've seen the jolly old fat man in the ring with mixed results.
Among Santa's big moments in the ring:
-- Kurt Angle dismantled Santa Claus in 2004 at the Armageddon Pay-Per-View after Claus submitted to the ankle lock.
-- Santa had better luck in 2003 as he surprised everyone by appearing at the Christmas event in front of the troops in Iraq and proceeded to give a Santa Stunner to Mr. McMahon. Stone Cold Steve Austin received additional gifts that year.
-- At the 2006 "Tribute To The Troops," Santa assisted Staff Sergeant Jose Avila as he won the Masterlock challenge against Chris Masters. JBL was Santa's special helper that year.
-- Of course, no tribute to the man from the North Pole would be complete without mentioning his evil brother, Xanta Claus, portrayed by Balls Mahoney. Xanta appeared at In Your House in 1995 and fought with Savio Vega.
Lee Stevens goes "Under The Microscope" for Raw and Smackdown. You can e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com
Comment on this Article Below
(CLICK FOR COMMENTS RULES OR TO REPORT ABUSE)
povo
16 Dec 2008, 17:33
Awesome stuff as usual Lee. Keep up the good work.
Cody L
16 Dec 2008, 18:25
I stumbled upon this randomly, and it's pretty interesting: In Hinduism,
"Manu" was the first king to rule Earth. Now that would be a cool take on
Afa Jr's character!
curtis
16 Dec 2008, 18:38
There was another interesting name of note that C.M. Punk mentioned in his
Slammy acceptance speech two weeks ago. Chris Guy. While not a well known
name, it should be for Punk. Chris Guy is the real name of Punk's former
Second City Saints partner in ROH, Ace Steele.
The Shining Wizard
16 Dec 2008, 22:00
"While I respect your opinion, I don't believe that The Undertaker is
actually dead and he's been popular for more than a decade."
lol, good line.
mooc
16 Dec 2008, 22:02
"Part of the allure of The Wild Samoans was that they were from somewhere I
had never visited. When I heard that they were from the Island of Samoa, I
had no idea where it was, what they did there, or what to expect from
them."
Thank you for advocating squeezing entertainment out of white America's
inclinations to view foreign countries as strange, exotic, and
barbaric/violent.
Seriously, one of the biggest problems I've had with wrestling was how they
always exploited people from other countries, or people who weren't white.
Booker T has to say "suckah." Tajiri couldn't just be the buzzsaw, he had
to be the JAPANESE buzzsaw. Not only could Umaga not speak English, he
acted like he was mentally retarded and violent - the ideal savage, the
same thing European explorers expected out of the people whose countries
they invaded. Funaki, Taka Michinoku, and virtually any other East Asian
wrestler they could get their hands on were portrayed as athletic losers -
sound like a familiar stereotype? Eddie Guerrero was LATINO Heat. And the
MexiCANS??? We obviously don't have to go there.
I, for one, am glad that WWE is starting move away from the stereotyping -
if ever so slowly. The Great Khali is not longer just some big angry
foreigner, and shows an individual personality. Manu isn't from "the Samoan
Islands." One of the reasons I stopped watching wrestling in the first
place was that I was constantly tired of feeling uncomfortable of seeing
the same racial stereotypes that could in fact be placed on me.
Eric Gall
17 Dec 2008, 01:58
On the other side of the coin, it's also a problem to find a problem with
everything racial. People are different; it gives them flavor. Really, is
there anything offensive to "The Japanese Buzzsaw?" Not really, not unless
you really want to find something there. I mean, come on, remember when
"East Asian" was known as "Oriental?" Can anyone tell me what exactly was
wrong with calling someone Oriental?
Now, those people of Oriental descent are instead called "Asian", which is
a sort of misnomer, because Asia happens to be the largest continent in the
world, including India, with over a billion people. While it's technically
correct to call someone from India an "Asian," according to the new
politically correct terminology, they have to be referred as "South Asian"
or something. At a certain point, the pendulum that was trying to do good
has swung in the opposite direction of overkill.
Don't think that xenophobia is a distinctly American phenomenon. What IS
an American trait, though, is this taught self-loathing into thinking that
anything but the most sanitized of terms is acceptable. Try going to Japan
some time, where the "No gaijin" signs are posted in bars on every street.
On a lighter note, one of the best hometowns ever was Sabu's Bombay,
Michigan. Perfect.
Greg
17 Dec 2008, 06:05
just for the record... Leigh Valley isn't remotely close to Western
Pennsylvania.
just saying.
The Microscope
17 Dec 2008, 09:10
First, thanks for all of the great comments.
Greg---I am an idiot. Let me repeat so that there's no confusion. I, Lee
Stevens, the writer of this microscope column, am an idiot. I was born,
raised and still leave close to Lehigh Valley and I have friends who live
in Allentown. I will now go back and remind myself which one is my left
hand. I am an idiot.
Cody & Curtis---thanks for the great bits of information. I appreciate
it.
Mooc--I completely respect your opinion and I could see how you could
possibly view that segment as having racial or etchnic stereotypical
overtones, but please know that wasn't my intent. I hope you will step
back from the obvious emotion of the topic and look at it this way: If you
see a new wrestler introduced from the deepest, darkest regions of (fill in
country), do you get the same feeling as you would if I said that new
wrestler was from Hoboken, New Jersey? I don't think you do and that's
what I was trying to express.
I hope I made that clear.
By the way, Lehigh Valley is in Southern Pennsylvania.
(I'M KIDDING!)
Eric Gall
17 Dec 2008, 12:36
Hoboken can be pretty scary...I believe it's the home of the Original Super
Masked Russian Phantom, Jr.
Mooc
17 Dec 2008, 21:41
Eric - It's NOT a problem to find a problem with everything racial. What,
you don't think that these stereotypes don't inevitably hurt real people?
What about the kids who watch these stereotype? The fact is, WWE/F has
always exploited stereotypes, and they should stop.
The Microscope - I know it's not your intent, but that's one of the
problems here. People don't seem to understand how their subconscious is
creating racist implications that they end up acting upon. It's like the
one time I thought an African cat was undomesticated because it was from
Africa - and unconsciously I thought that Africa was just uncivilized.
LeroyJ
18 Dec 2008, 01:57
"Part of the allure of The Wild Samoans was that they were from somewhere I
had never visited. When I heard that they were from the Island of Samoa, I
had no idea where it was, what they did there, or what to expect from
them."
_________________
When I was a college freshman my roommate had a geography class and had to
mark 50 places on a map including Samoa, we had no idea exactly where Samoa
was. I described to him the wild Samoans and he drew them on his paper
along with descriptions of them,weight, height, moves, etc. He got credit
for it too.
The lesson is, wrestling can help you in college.
The Microscope
18 Dec 2008, 05:32
LeroyJ--
I think you've discovered a new study method. However, was "Parts Unknown"
ever discussed in your geography class?
Thanks for taking the time to write!
Lee
Gerard
18 Dec 2008, 13:03
no one has mentioned Finlay? He's technically from the U.K, billed from
Dublin, Ireland with a thick as thick Northern Irish accent and in 2008,
walks
around with a leprechaun. I'm not going to pretend that my country is
consequential enough as to warrant a particular attention to detail from
the company that has a following that will chant "USA!" blindly at Muhammad
Hassan (who is American)or, that still has English men scripted like a
Campy Carry On Flick but really, that is borderline offensive to the
senses.
Ooc
18 Dec 2008, 13:57
Finlay and Hornswoggle are so ridiculous I think my mind just blanked them
out when I was thinking about stereotypes and WWE. It's so beyond
stereotyping that it loses touch with reality, and that's probably why it
slipped everyone's minds.
Ooc
18 Dec 2008, 14:03
Oh, and another example of the effects stereotyping: Why do does People
magazine name a fugly woman like Sandra Oh as "50 Most Beautiful People?"
Because they associate "exotic and strange" with "Asian." And in terms of
beauty, "exotic and strange" means ugly and weird-looking. Sandra Oh has
got to be the ugliest girl out there. Meanwhile, every other Asian woman
and man (let's face it, virtually everyone is better looking) on TV is
passed over, because the people who run that magazine have it in their
heads that Asian means exotic, and therefore even the ugliest girls (if she
were white, she wouldn't be on the list) are considered pretty if they're
Asian.
Sure, in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad a deal (considering
America's history of discrimination), but it still shows that we're
definitely influenced by stereotypes to this day and age.
marc
18 Dec 2008, 15:18
Hey genius, how is Manu being billed from anywhere other than a place "that
strikes fear into your heart" a valid criticism, but I'm supposed to just
fall ass bacwards into that pile of crap WWE calls an angle with JBL vs.
HBK and his bank account? Do you know how hypocritical that is, you
jackass?
By the way, I know Undertaker isn't dead. Big deal. And Festus' brain
probably doesn't melt at every ring bell. Are you proud of yourself for
figuring that out?
marc
18 Dec 2008, 15:21
And for all you 'casual fans' going off saying I should just enjoy
it;remember Katie Vick.
And saying 'it's a wrestling show'; then let them wrestle. plain and
simple.
Microscope
19 Dec 2008, 06:09
Marc,
Feel better?
Lee, the hypocrtical genius jackass
marc
19 Dec 2008, 08:03
much
thanks for responding, you hypocrite. in the future, I suggest you refrain
from mocking your readers.
Microscope
19 Dec 2008, 08:26
Marc,
Thanks for the suggestion and thanks for reading.
Lee
marc
19 Dec 2008, 08:39
wow, an open admission to the fact that you mocked those who don't buy into
the story line. real classy.
for the record, I normally enjoy your work. that one line just really
pissed me off.
Microscope
19 Dec 2008, 08:43
Marc,
I do appreciate anyone who takes the time to read the website, even those
who call me a hypocrite, a jackass or "genius."
I'm not sure why that line bothered you so deeply, but if you would like to
continue the conversation, I encourage you to e-mail me at
glstevens.torch@gmail.com
Have a great weekend and thanks for reading.
Lee
marc
19 Dec 2008, 08:48
I also try to refrain from calling people names on the inter-web. I'm one
in a million that way, but just for you I made the exception. no need to
thank me.
I just don't see how it's okay for you to critique Manu (as if it really
matters where he's from) but it's unrealistic for me to not to buy into the
HBK/JBL feud. If Micheals went broke tommorrow he would still make enough
to get out of any ruts come the Rumble.
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