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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 9/30 ECW: What I noticed on the show that you might not have Oct 2, 2008 - 5:10:53 PM
We are into Week 5 of the only column that dares (or perhaps, cares enough) to take ECW and place it Under the Microscope to uncover some of the things you may have missed, unless you tuned in to Sci-Fi at 10:00 EST only to find you completely missed out on your weekly dose of extreme.
Tuesday night's broadcast marked the (not so) heavily hyped first edition of the show in its new 9:00 EST timeslot. The hype for the broadcast was lost in the shuffle with the promotional blitz for WWE's two-night debut on MyNetwork TV this Thursday and Friday as well as the loaded pay-per-view this Sunday.
For those of you who didn't catch the show, and even for those who did, here are some of the things you probably missed…
We kick things off with the absolutely stunning Tiffany standing mid-ring with ECW general manager Teddy Long. For those who don't recognize her, she's actually Taryn Terrell, who came in fourth place in the 2007 Diva Search. Terrell was signed to a developmental contract and made her Florida Championship Wrestling debut back in February, later making her debut in ECW on the June 10th episode.
When the six-man tag main event was announced, I realized that every week since the 2008 Draft, at least one of these six men (John Morrison, The Miz, Mark Henry, Ricky Ortiz, Evan Bourne and Matt Hardy) have consistently filled the main event slot. John Morrison must have a record for the most main events wrestled since the rebirth of ECW. Strangely enough, he hasn't had a shot at the title in almost a year.
I know they're making a big about Wrestlemania making its "world broadcast premiere," however that is far from the truth. The first Wrestlemania to be shown on broadcast television was Wrestlemania 11, which featured the much talked about match between Bam Bam Bigelow and controversial football star Lawrence Taylor. An hour-long special was aired on Fox in late 1995. When the Wrestlemania 24 special airs Thursday, it will actually be the second time the major show will be broadcast over the air.
Lenny Lane made his return to the national wrestling stage in a losing effort aga inst Jack Swagger this past Tuesday night. Lenny Lane was perhaps best known as being half of the West Hollywood Blondes in WCW, along with Lodi. The gimmick implied they were homosexuals, later brothers, and were rather quickly pulled from WCW television. Lane has since made the rounds on the independent scene, appearing in TNA, Steel Domain Wrestling and the American Wrestling League.
Has anyone noticed the design on The Miz's shirt is backwards? Let me explain. Miz proclaims himself to be a chick magnet, right? Well, his shirt seems to say the opposite. There is a picture of a chick on the left, and a picture of a magnet on the right, with rays separating the two. The rays are coming from the chick, attracting the magnet, not the other way around. So instead of The Miz being a chick magnet, the chick is more like a Miz magnet.
Did any of you understand that? Do you even care? Hey, that's why Lee, Curtis, John and I are here. Going Under the Microscope isn't easy. We're here to appeal to all of you wrestling nerds out there, because deep down, we are too.
Speaking of wrestling nerds, the penultimate wrestling nerd, Matt Striker let many of us down when musing about the possibility of Rey Mysterio losing his mask. Striker asked to himself, "What does Rey Mysterio look like under that mask?"
If you don't remember, Rey Mysterio lost it in a "Hair vs. Mask" match20at WCW SuperBrawl 9, which pitted Kevin Nash and Scott Hall against Konnan and Mysterio. He continued to wrestle without his mask for over his two years in WCW. Maybe Striker conveniently "forgot" that time, or maybe he wasn't a WCW fan towards its latter years. I can say I blame him, not many of us were.
Striker, aside from the incident above, was golden. In a funny moment, he compared Mark Henry to some of the other "great big men in our sport like Gorilla Monsoon and King Mabel." For a moment, I lost all of my respect for Striker with that one statement. Then I remembered Matt Striker actually managed King Mabel during his last stint in WWE under the name Big Daddy V.
Striker regained his credibility later in the night saying, "With respect to Arn Anderson, Mark Henry is the real "Enforcer." While I don't necessarily agree with his sentiment, that is mighty high praise heaped on the former ECW Champion. Arn Anderson made his indelible mark on the industry being a significant part of the Four Horsemen, capturing tag titles with Ole Anderson, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Paul Roma, and Tully Blanchard.
Last week, Matt Striker proved to everyone everywhere that along with being a wrestling nerd, he is an all-around nerd with a Pokémon reference. This week, he's regained some of his cool factor in the main event, saying Ricky Ortiz has found himself in a Quagmire. The definition of the word is " a difficult, precarious, or entrapping position," however many viewers recognize the term as the name of perverted Family Guy character, Glenn Quagmire.
Giggity!
That’s going to do it for our weekly look at ECW "Under the Microscope." If you have any suggestions, complaints, praise, or anything to get off your chest, please feel free to drop me a line at Sironsim@aol.com. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading, and join me next week!
Michael Simmons has been a wrestling fan for 17 years. He likes to think he has a pretty inquisitive mind. Quite often, he goes into deep thought about some of wrestling’s greatest mysteries. You know, thought provoking questions like, "Did anyone ever call Ernest 'The Cat' Miller's mama?" If you know the answer, please e-mail him at Sironsim@aol.com.
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