KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT - HOUR TWO
NOVEMBER 30, 2009
LIVE FROM BALTIMORE, MD.

[Q5]

-Instead of Orton coming out, Ted DiBiase snuck into the ring and attacked Kingston from behind, going after his leg. The referees escorted him to the back quickly, but Kingston was left clutching his knee in the ring. Kingston insisted to the referee that he wanted the match to go on. Orton's music played again and this time Orton did come out, making his way to the ring faster than normal, shortening Kingston's recovery time.

2 -- RANDY ORTON vs. KOFI KINGSTON

Orton dominated from the start. The crowd chanted "Kofi! Kofi!" Orton wrapped Kingston's legs around the ringpost at 1:00. At 3:00 Kingston showed brief signs of life, which Orton cut short quickly with an RKO and a three count. Afterward, Orton didn't stop, DDT'ing him of the middle rope.

WINNER: Orton in 3:00. Good segment overall, not giving away a fair battle between these two, and instead saving it for PPV, while adding heat to their feud with heelish tactics by Orton and his henchmen. It's just that simple to sell tickets sometimes. Lawler said Orton looks like a tortured soul who's obsessed.

-Cole plugged that the guest host was Verne Troyer. [c]

-A commercial plugged ECW as "the future of the WWE" and listed a number of ECW's relative unknowns: Lance Archer, Yoshi Tatsu, Zach Ryder, and Tyler Rex.

-Backstage MVP was playing videogames with Troyer. Troyer was Undertaker. Henry warmed up in the background. Jillian walked in front of the screen and told Henry that he may have no personality, but she's bursting with it. She asked Verne if she could since a Beyonce song. MVP told her to sing it. She began signing... terribly. Henry grinded with her, but then they fell and Henry landed on her. Troyer said, "Hey guys, I think she's dead." He then went back to his videogame as MVP and Henry walked to the ring.

-They went to Cole and Lawler at ringside. Cole chuckled and said, "Is this the day the music died?" They went into a plug for the TLC line-up.

-They showed Cena arriving in a sports car. He stepped out with his title belt over his shoulder.

[Q6] [c]

-They showed scenes of Downtown Baltimore. Eighteen years ago I handed out free copies of the Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter in front of that arena before the Sting victory over Ric Flair at the Great American Bash. We had a great return rate on subscriptions from that hand-out, and more than a few of you are probably still reading today because of that.

-Cena walked to his music. He said Sheamus put him through a table last week to make a statement. He said he hasn't won anything yet, though, because last time he checked, he's still WWE Champion. He said even if Sheamus does beat him, he's entitled to a rematch. He said if he needs the rematch, he will use it at TLC. He said when Sheamus signed the contract last week, he told him to be ready for war. He said that means no more waiting, no more talking, tonight they go to "WAAAAARRRRR!!!" He tonight he is making a statement. He declared he wanted to defend his title against Sheamus tonight. The crowd cheered as Lawler said, "What!?!" Carlito walked out. Lawler said: "Carlito's back! His hair looks the same." Cole said it's an interesting little twist. Carlito said he doesn't like Sheamus, but he likes what he represents. He said there's a whole locker room full of Superstars who want to see him lose. He said the ECW and Smackdown locker rooms feel the same way because "we're tired of you." He said Sheamus will put him through a table and become the new WWE Champion. Cena told Carlito to listen to him because he's never been more serious. He said, "You picked the wrong guy on the wrong night, and your mouth is about to back you into a fight you want no part of." He said if he doesn't like who he is or how he does things, then step up. He held out his title belt. He said if he makes a move toward him, he'll unleash hell on him. Cena's suddenly become Michael Chiklis from "The Shield" in his demeanor and intensity. If he'd only lose those oversized jean shorts. Cena punched Carlito, knocking the apple out of his mouth, and then gave him an intense Attitude Adjustment. Sheamus then stepped out. Cena called him to the ring, but Sheamus just huffed and puffed from the stage, then returned to the back. The crowd chanted "Cena" and then booed when Sheamus left.

-After plugging the main event, they showed Miz heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Q7] [c]

-Back to Verne Troyer. Cole said emptily, "What a night Verne Troyer has had as guest host." Verne introduced two "good friends, bros, homies, MVP and my man Mark Henry." MVP walked onto the stage and introduced Henry, who then went into a full-fledged rap routine. He was better than R-Truth within five seconds.

-The Jeff Hardy "Live for the Moment" DVD commercial aired. It hits stores tomorrow. [c]

3 -- MARK HENRY vs. THE MIZ

One hour and forty minutes into the show, there has been about five minutes of official in-ring action in the previous two matches. Wow. That might be a record. Miz jumped Henry at the start, but Henry flipped him off of his back. Verne continued to watch the match from his stool on the stage. Miz then dominated for a couple minutes, but he was caught coming off the top rope. Don't leap at Henry off the top rope! He powerslammed Miz and scored a clean pin. Cole said that decisive win puts Henry in the hunt for the U.S. Title for sure.

WINNER: Henry in 2:00.

-Verne told Henry to bring out the women. They had a dance party. Cole lamented never getting invited to the parties. "It's not obvious why, Cole?" said Lawler in the line of the night. Henry put Verne on his shoulders.

-They showed Jericho heading toward the entrance tunnel. Lawler said it'll be only the third time in the last seven years, Jericho and Triple H will face off one-on-one. Should be interesting given there's been heat between them in the past.

[Q8] [c]

-Cole hyped that Mark Cuban would be the guest host next week. He's a dot com billionaire who owns the Dallas Mavericks of the NBA. He's also outspoken and controversial.

-Triple H told Michaels backstage that he had a dream that a little man handed him a little piece of paper that said they have to go to Little People's Court. Michaels said he had the same dream. Hornswoggle walked up to them in a suit. He rambled, but they captioned his words: "Gentlemen, yo'uve ignored my plea for legal discourse and have left me little choice but to seek further prosecution. I am terribly disappointed." Triple H asked Michaels what he said. Michaels said, "Don't worry, I speak Leprechaun." Michaels said he's got nothing on them. Verne drove up to Hornswoggle and said he has to sue them for everything they've got.

4 -- TRIPLE H vs. CHRIS JERICHO

Michaels joined Lawler and Cole on commentary. The match began 54 minutes into the second hour. Jericho bailed out in the opening seconds, but Hunter went right after him and threw him back into the ring. The Big Show's music played, causing Triple H to stop in his tracks. Show walked out, shrugged, and asked, "What?" Jericho dropkicked Triple H off the ring apron. Show smiled and walked past Hunter. They cut to a break. [c] Show joined in on commentary as Jericho controlled the match. Triple H made a comeback at 6:00 until Jericho kicked him in the back of his head for a two count.

[Q9]

Triple H lifted his knees on a Lionsault attempt. He then set up a Pedigree. Jericho flipped out of it and scored a leverage two count. Show and Michaels bickered, trading threats and insults. Jericho countered a Pedigree attempt with a DDT for a two count at 8:00. Hunter followed up with a spinebuster for a near fall. Big Show stood up and walked to the ring. Michaels confronted him, but Show shoved him hard to the floor, then gave Triple H his knockout punch. The ref ordered Show to the back. Michaels gave Jericho his Sweet Chin Music. The ref saw Michaels leaving the ring and ordered him to the back, also. With both men down, the ref began his count. Both got up. Triple H brushed off a Code Breaker. They continued counters, ending with Triple H rolling up Jericho and pinning him. Cole and Lawler hyped the DX vs. Jericho match next week on Raw.

WINNER: Triple H in 9:00.

STAR RATING: **

QUOTEBOOK

Big Show to Shawn Michaels: "What you need to be worried about is when I grab a chair and ping-pong you and Triple H around the arena. I could end your careers."

Big Show to Shawn Michaels: "I can't wait to make you eat wood. I'm gonna put you through the table so hard."

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