By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
NOVEMBER 30, 2009
LIVE FROM BALTIMORE, MD.

[Q1]

-After the Raw opening, Michael Cole introduced the show as the hottest on cable TV. The NFL game featuring the marquee New England Patriots against the undefeated New Orleans Saints on ESPN is one of the biggest tests of the football season of the loyalty of Raw viewers. Cole and Jerry Lawler hyped the Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton main event, plus Verne Troyer ("Mini Me") as guest host.

-The Big Show and Chris Jericho walked to the ring. Lawler declared their upcoming match against DX one of the biggest ever. Jericho said they want to clear up some misconceptions. He said he wants to wake the fans out of the "ignorant bliss they're in" and "clear up the fallacy" that DX is the greatest tag team of all time. He touted that they've been tag champs for four months and have embarrassed every team put in their way. He said even Kane & Undertaker couldn't take them down. He said DX have been together since 1997 and they've never been tag champions. Show said DX may have glow sticks, but they have no record of title reigns. He said their merchandise will become useless and outdated garbage after they're through with them. Show touted that he's the only person to hold the WCW, ECW, and WWE heavyweight titles. They said the TLC rules makes them bigger favorites because DX has never been in one before. DX finally heard enough and walked to the ring to their music.

Hunter said fans don't care about them, but DX has been at the forefront of every revolution of the industry for the past decade and along the way have amassed an army. He said the "sea of green" represents "a worldwide army of people who believe in DX, not because of the jokes, not because of the merchandise, but because they believe the same things they do - that no matter how bad dumps on you, you grab life by the throat and you make it give you what you want." That's the first we've heard of that. Michaels said they'll make history again by being in their first TLC match and winning their first tag team titles. Triple H said an added bonus, they'll send Jericho back to Smackdown and out of Raw. He said the only reason he's on Raw is because of the tag team titles. He said once those are gone, he must leave Raw. The crowd sang the "na na na, good bye" song.

[Q2]

Jericho said, "All of you parasites know, with Chris Jericho, Raw is nothing. If I leave this show, the ratings go in the toilet and we're left with nothing but people like [DX] and that's not going to happen." Hunter replied, "Two weeks can't come fast enough for me." He said the clock is ticking on Jericho's time on Raw, so how about they make the most of his time left on Raw and have a one-on-one match with him. Show whispered something to Jericho, who then said he accepted the challenge on one condition. Show said if Jericho loses, he'll face DX in a two-on-one match, but if Jericho wins, Hunter faces them in a two-on-one match. Jericho closed with: "I'm never leaving Raw." That was DX's best promo because they references merchandise without hawking it with a wink, which was bad when it began and got worse over time. They also declared with DX actually stands for. And best of all, unlike headed into Survivor Series, they're talking about their opponents, their match, and the titles in a serious manner, discussing what's really at stake. The horsing around with Hornswoggle in the midst of hyping their match with Cena may be the reason early returns on Survivor Series buys are poor. This type of hype is more Booking 101 and will sell better. On the downside, boy was that a long segment for four people to stand talking in the middle of the ring. [c]

-After the ring intros of Melina and Gail Kim, the screen went black. Then they joined Josh Matthews interviewing Maryse and Jillian Hall backstage in progress. Maryse said Mickie proved to be a turkey last week. Jillian sang, "Turkey!"

1 -- MELINA & GAIL KIM vs. MARYSE & JILLIAN HALL

Maryse pinned Melina after blocking her finisher out of the corner and hitting an impact DDT.

WINNERS: Maryse & Jillian in 2:00. Crazy short.

-They showed Cole and Lawler at ringside, who talked about Sheamus's impact on Raw in just a few weeks. They showed Sheamus attacking Cena last week. They hyped that he was up next. This is the longest they've gone into a show since the Guest G.M. gimmick began that they haven't given the Guest G.M. camera or mic time.

[Q3] [c]

-WWE Fact: Fans from all 50 states and 22 countries have already purchased tickets to WrestleMania 26."

-Justin Roberts introduced Sheamus. Lawler said he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. He said he will become WWE Champion at TLC, at which point Cena will have no choice but to take him seriously. His scheduled opponent, Santino, walked out smiling, seemingly oblivious to Sheamus's dominance lately. Santino mispronounced Cena's name as he complained to Sheamus that he's focusing on Cena and not him. He asked if he's overlooking him. "Are you angry to me?" he asked. "You're jelly-ous of me because I actually have skin pigmentation. I can enjoy the sunshine, unlike you." He then said he must be mad because he's after his Lucky Charms. He called him a lame-ass, which prompted Sheamus to attack Santino. Lawler called it a bad idea to antagonize Sheamus like that. He gave him his running released Razor's Edge. Sheamus brought a table into the ring and leaned it into the corner. He then powered him through the table in the corner, shattering the table. He said that's nothing compared to what he'll do to Cena. The match never officially began.

-Show and Jericho walked near Verne Troyer backstage. He was on his cell phone. He is tiny. He told Jericho to hold his thought as he continued talking. He shook hands with Show, though, and smiled. Lawler said he would be out next. [c]

[Q4]

-Verne was sitting on a tall stool on the stage after the break. He said when he saw his friend Seth Green host Raw, it looked like a great time, so he wanted to try it himself. He said he had a great time at SummerSlam and everyone with WWE was great except for one person, who was an obnoxious jerk. He said that was The Miz. The Miz walked out and said: "Really? I'm inconsiderate? Really?" He said he didn't remember seeing Verne at the party. "Excuse me, I almost stepped on you," Miz said. He then apologized to Verne and asked if there was anything he could do. He suggested he could maybe give him one million dollars and he could be his sidekick, Mini Miz. Verne said, "Ohhh, like I haven't heard that one before." Verne said he'd imitate him, too, but hasn't done any movies. He said he's surprised because "didn't they film not one, but two, 'Jackasses.'" He said he's better than him, even with the ladies. Miz called him a little twerp and said he has no problem using the ringposts as uprights and kicking him right through them like a football. Mark Henry came out to stop the bullying. Miz said Henry is "The World's Blandest Man" and said he's the "Fat Bastard." He told Henry to savor this moment because he lacks a personality and is as boring as "this half of a human being's attempt at hosting my show." He said his 15 minutes of fame is up, so get off the stage so the fans can forget about his career. He said the only thing fans will remember is that "I'm The Miz and I'm awesome." Miz is really good at being the heel you want to see get punched, and his targets really let him let loose on them. Verne, of course, booked Miz against Henry tonight. Cole said Miz "may get his comeuppance tonight."

-Lawler hyped that Orton vs. Kingston was up next. [c]

-As Kingston slapped hands with fans on his way to the ring, Cody Rhodes jumped him from behind. He whipped him into the ring steps. Three referees intervened after a few seconds and ordered him to the back. Lawler said he was looking forward to this match all night, but now it looks as if it might not happen. Kingston, though, rolled himself into the ring.

QUOTEBOOK

Santino to Sheamus: "You're mad at me because you think I'm after your Lucky Charms."

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