By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT - HOUR THREE
NOVEMBER 23, 2009
HERSHEY, PA.

[Q9]

7 -- DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels) vs. THE HART DYNASTY (David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd w/Natalya)

Cole reset the show as the third hour began. It was nice to see a little action between Michaels and Kidd, but unfortunately the lumbering and bland DHS worked the majority of the short match. DHS and Kidd also managed to find time for two headlocks or chinlocks in this short match, each working Michaels over with one. Michaels and DHS collided and hit heads, although it was a lousy execution of that spot. DHS hot-tagged Kidd in at 3:00. Hunter also tagged in and hit a high knee and a face buster. He gave a spinebuster to an interfering DHS, and another for Kidd. Kidd and DHS managed to set up their Hart Attack clothesline on Hunter, but Michaels superkicked Hunter free and then Hunter finished DHS with his Pedigree. Cole declared that they were on the same page again.

WINNERS: DX in 4:00.

STAR RATING: * -- They didn't make all that much out of the "possible breakup" or at least "dissension" between Hunter and Michaels, so there was less at stake in this match than there could have been. Had they teased the possibility of remaining tension, this match might have had a stronger hook.

-As Hunter and Michaels celebrated, Jericho walked out and congratulated them on their "big win." He said Ventura just informed him that in three weeks, DX will face Jericho & Show for the tag team titles. He said Show is "on a personal vacation day," but he can speak for him. Hunter interrupted and said he knows why Show isn't there. He said: "This is Hershey. Big Show's over at the chocolate factory. He's eaten so much, they can't bring him out the door they brought him in." Jericho said this is serious, no time for joking. Michaels said it'll be a TLC match. When they went into their catch phrases, Jericho interrupted and said he's sick of that. He said he and Big Show are the best of this generation or any other. He said it's not about fart jokes and little people and merchandise and catch phrases, but rather the tag team titles. He said their list of accolades does not include being tag team champions. He said after TLC, they still won't be. He told the fans to chant DX "while they can." He vowed that for as long as he holds the tag titles, they never will.

-They cut to a shot of Batista backstage. That got a pop from the fans in Hershey who aren't up on current storylines or are pro-heel bad-asses. [c]

[Q10]

-Batista entered the ring. He said derisively that his "little buddy" Rey Mysterio decided to stab him in the back and cost him the World Heavyweight Title. He said he could have snapped him in half that night, but he was the bigger man and merely let him know he was a little angry. He said he gave Rey the chance to walk away, but instead he chose to stick out his chest and hold his ground. He said therefore he chose to powerbomb Rey last night until the EMTs had to scrape him off a steel chair. He said he's putting everyone on notice. He said if someone from Smackdown wins the battle royal, he's going to hit the ring and make them with they didn't because "the Undertaker is mine, the World Heavyweight Title is mine." He said no one alive will stop him. Out walked Kane.

Kane asked: "What exactly constitutes disrespecting you? Does interrupting you as you stand in this ring making empty threats, does that embarrass you? I hope it does, because I want to see what you're going to do about it." Batista grinded his teeth as Kane begged him to "make an example out of me," talking like the overweight slow-talking guy on "The Office." Batista smiled tightly and backed out of the ring, watching Kane the whole time. Batista is so much better as a heel than a babyface. It's just a better all-around fit, even though he threw his heart into being a likable babyface when that was his role. Kane waved his arms and the arena turned red and flames blasted out of the ringposts. Cole said Batista doesn't want to deal with someone his own size. "Or bigger," added Lawler. Good performance from both. [c]

8 -- CRYME TYME vs. CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE -- Qualifying Match

At 3:00 chaos broke out when Cody broke up a Shad pin attempt on DiBiase. Cody and J.T.G. tumbled to the floor, with help from Shad. DiBiase hit Shad from behind and then gave him his Dream Street finisher for the win.

WINNERS: DiBiase & Rhodes in 4:00.

STAR RATING: *

[Q11]

-A commercial aired hyping the Jeff Hardy DVD. How awkward. They showed him walking amidst the ruble after his house mysteriously spontaneously combusted, killing his dog and destroying his art and music and collections. Lots of clips of him hitting big highspots, too. It comes out next Tuesday. [c]

-Cole announced that Batista would face Kane on Smackdown. Is that supposed to make people want to watch? They've got bad in-ring chemistry, accentuating each other's weaknesses and compensating for none of them.

-Alicia Fox interrupted Gail Kim saying what she is thankful for. Kim threatened to throw a pie in Fox's face. Santino showed up and told them to "chill-axe." He said they shouldn't be fighting, but should be cooking. He said they have the thankful honor of cooking for their men. He said he "craves the breast." He said he'd like to see all of the Divas unite in a kitchen somewhere and prepare him a meal of epic proportions. They double pie-faced him. He said there are plenty of other Divas who would love to cook for him. In walked the Bella Twins. He offended them and they threw pies in his face, too. He asked for a napkin. In walked Eve Torres. He said, "You have the honor to clean my face." She threw a pie in his face, too. Vickie Guerrero walked in, but Santino threw up his arms and inadvertently shoved the pie she was holding into her face. The crowd popped.

-Justin Roberts introduced Ventura as the guest commentator. He introduced McMahon. McMahon strutted out to the ring, wearing the tux and red bow tie, to the original theme to "Saturday Night's Main Event." They exchanged a few barbs and Kofi made his ring intro. [c]

[Q12]

-McMahon said it felt strange to be sitting next to Jesse again. It was strange hearing McMahon welcome viewers back to Raw.

9 -- BREAK THROUGH BATTLE ROYAL

Orton's ring intro aired, also. McMahon said he didn't belong in the battle royal. Ventura said rules are made to be broken. He said McMahon has broken every rule in the entertainment business. McMahon denied breaking any rule ever. Could this be parlayed into McMahon returning to hosting Raw with Cole pushed to Smackdown (or ECW even)? He could say he enjoyed it more than he imagined he would and it's his company so he's making himself host again. McMahon actually sounded older in this setting, since it was easy to contrast his voice as an announcer with the last time he did this. Ventura said Henry is the logical favorite. Orton stepped to ringside through the ropes and just let everyone else fight. McMahon asked him why he doesn't do something about it. He said he's got three referees assigned to the match. Sheamus eliminated R-Truth at 3:00. He also eliminated MVP a minute later. Henry eliminated both Rhodes and DiBiase with a clothesline. Sheamus then knocked Henry over the top. Orton entered the ring and faced off against Kingston and Sheamus. Ventura asked who the favorite was. McMahon said Orton. When McMahon accused Ventura of being a cowardly heel in his wrestling days, Ventura seemed to get legitimately irked and brought up that he's a Vietnam vet and took the chance to take a dig at Dick Cheney, saying he's a coward. Kingston dropkicked Orton into the corner and then charged at him. Orton backdropped him over the top, but Kingston held on and leg scissored Orton over the top to the floor. Orton went bug-eyed and fumed in anger. Sheamus then charged at Kingston with an Ivan Putski axe handle to the chest, sending Kofi flying to the floor. Sheamus has earned a shot at Cena.

WINNER: Sheamus in 7:00.

-They went to McMahon and Ventura at ringside. Ventura said he's going to oversee the contract signing. [c]

-Next week Verne Troyer is guest host. He played the role of Mini Me in the "Austin Powers" movie series. He's from Baltimore where they'll be next week.

-Ventura stood in the ring with Sheamus. Ventura said he's not only undefeated, but he's put people out of wrestling. He called Cena to the ring. Cena came out to his full ring intro.

[Q13]

Cena sat at the table wearing his new orange hat and t-shirt. He said, "Standing before me is Sheamus, demanding I take him seriously." He said he beat up an announcer and retired a wrestler half his size. He asked what's next, beating up Michael Cole or a camera man. He said for eight years he has proven himself and is proud to stand there as champion. He said he didn't achieve what he has because he prayed on the weak. He began to yell and said whether people like him or don't like him, they know that "this is my life, this is my passion, this is all I've got." He said he has performed the impossible and achieved the improbable. He said he has gone toe-to-toe with the meanest, baddest, and toughest and "every single one has been compromised." Cena pointed at the contract and said he is not an announcer and he will not put him in a retirement home. He said when he signs that, it means he's going to war with him, so he better be ready to make a statement. You know Cena wanted to put on a good performance for Ventura, who probably doesn't watch much wrestling, but from his AWA days to the WWF was witness to some great promos, and wanted Ventura to be impressed with what he saw up close.

Sheamus said he retires people because he can. He beats up Hall of Famers because he can. He said that's nothing compared to what he's going to do to him. Cena threw off his hat. They leaned in, then signed the contract. Ventura said he thinks there's a conspiracy in "the World Wrestling... Entertainment." Ventura said Cena is the "perfect looking little champion that they want." He said there were times he didn't get title shots because he was a rebel who didn't go with the flow. He said they wanted someone who goes along to get along. Ventura said, "I never got a shot at the title." Well, that's not true at all. Cena walked toward Ventura. Sheamus surprised Cena with a boot to the face, then threw him shoulder-first into the ringpost. He paused, then powerslammed him through the contract signing table. Ventura said, "Guess what? This match will be a table match for the title." They were never clear about it not taking place tonight, so there were some fans watching on TV and in the arena who probably were waiting for the match to begin right then. Cole closed out the show with a recap of what just happened, making it clear the tables match would be at the TLC PPV. Good angle. I'm still amazed at how quickly they've shot Sheamus to the top. I'm not sure yet if the masses will buy into him as a top tier challenger yet, but if it takes a small step back to freshen things up for the long run, it's worth it.

QUOTEBOOK

Jesse Ventura: "Money don't buy everything."

Vince McMahon: "No, but it buys good grammar on occasion."

Vince McMahon on Sheamus watching as Kingston and Orton fought each other: "It's what you did back in your day. Some would say it's cowardice."

Jesse Ventura: "Cowardice? How dare you call me, a Vietnam veteran, a coward. Dick Cheney is a coward."

Jesse Ventura to Vince McMahon: "Sometimes you make no sense at all."

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