PWTorch is customized for your mobile phone such as your Blackberry. Just enter www.pwtorch.com on your phone's browser and choose the "Mobile" option. Samsung Omnia II users, download our free Widget. Apple iPhone users, download our free PWTorch App (search "pwtorch")
KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 11/16: DX vs. Cena & Taker vs. JeriShow, Piper and McMahon turn into Grumpy Old Men, Ventura Announced, Kofi further elevated in Orton brawl (hour two)
Nov 16, 2009 - 11:12:03 PM
KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT - HOUR TWO
NOVEMBER 16, 2009
LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY, N.Y.
[Q5]
As everyone in the back cringed, Piper began rambling incoherently. He actually said if you mess with the Hot Rod, you end up either bald or dead. He then said he loves them all, mostly the dead ones. He said he just can't help himself. He said he has one more dirty nasty job to do. He said he wants one more match with Vincent Kennedy McMahon. The crowd popped for that. He said he knows Vince is a big fan of his because when he did "Real Sports with Bryant Gumble," he was watching and he fired him right in that building. The crowd booed. Piper said, "That's what all my kids said." Piper said Vince is backstage because he has a soft spot from the Garden and a hard spot in his wallet from all the money the fans have been giving him. Out walked McMahon, not a second too soon. McMahon said what everyone was thinking: "Nice dye-job on the hair there, Hot Rod." McMahon said Piper had done a lot of bad things at MSG, but the worst thing ever was "show up here tonight." He said mother nature hasn't been too kind to him. He asked him when the last time was he had a 100,000 mile check-up. Vince wasn't one to talk with that circus suit he was wearing, and his hair has never recovered fully the head shaving angle. McMahon continued, turning Raw into "Grumpy Old Men." He said: "Some things ahven't changed. You still have those toothpick arms and spindly little legs and knobby little knees and you've always had that catcher's mitt face. The only thing I'd suggest that hasn't dried up and withered away is that kilt." He said if he soiled his hands on Piper, his forefathers would be ashamed of him.
Piper made fun of McMahon's suit. He said it matches his hair, the grey and the black. McMahon said at least it's not dyed. He said he's always looked better than all of the top stars including Triple H, The Rock, Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker. He's right about Triple H. He bragged that he's beaten them all. He said he regrets to inform Piper that he's officially retired from in-ring action. Piper said that's about all the games he's going to play with him. Piper said "retired" is another word for "coward." He said he's been in 7,000 car crashes and 30 matches - then added, "Reverse them around." Vince said, "Your mind is as sane as it's always been." Piper said he's not sane. He went down in an airplane, he's been electrocuted, and he's had cancer. He said if he beat those things, he can beat him. Piper said he should he held accountable to the people who have made him a billionaire. Piper told McMahon to tell the fans he's retired. They cut away from McMahon jus as he was about to say something more. Lawler laughed and stumbled his way through plugging the Triple Threat tag match main event. [c]
-An ECW ad hyped Hurricane vs. Paul Burchill. Are they trying to tank the ratings below 1.0 now?
[Q6]
-They showed the Empire State Building and then the street scene outside of MSG. Cole talked about the celebrities in attendance. Lawler wondered if McMahon would accept Piper's offer to fight later. About eight minutes of wrestling in the first hour and fifteen minutes of the show.
-Sheamus said he's going to make another impact by annihilating anyone who dares step in the ring with him. He waited and no one walked out. He then walked to ringside and grabbed the time keeper/bell ringer. Lawler had enough and stood up to him. Sheamus kicked him in the face. Referees and medics checked on both fallen men. [c]
-Matt Striker joined Cole on commentary, replacing Lawler who was still suffering facial pain. They hyped the line-up for Survivor Series. They didn't stand mid-ring which has been the norm lately for PPV plugs by announcers.
-Ring intros took place for Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne. [c]
[Q7]
4 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. JACK SWAGGER
The match was joined in progress. Striker did a nice job articulating the assets and bright futures of Swagger and Bourne. Swagger won after two minutes of action aired.
WINNER: Swagger in 4:00.
-They showed Piper walking backstage. Striker wondered if McMahon would answer Piper's call. [c]
-WWE Fact: Last week fans from all 50 states plus 22 countries purchased tickets to WrestleMania 26.
-Piper stood in the ring in jeans and a black "Hot Rod" t-shirt. He looked to be in better shape than the last time he showed off his belly with a tucked in shirt. Instead of McMahon, though, out walked Randy Orton. Cole said: "Oh no." The crowd broke Piper's heart with a chant of "Ran-dee Or-ton! Ran-dee Or-ton!" Orton said if it's a fight he wants... at which point he kicked him in the gut. Striker cited Piper's history with Orton's father, "Cowboy" Bob, as the reason for the aggression. Cole said he thinks Orton would do this regardless. Orton stomped away at Piper. Orton set up the punt kick. As he moved in, they were late playing Kofi Kingston's music, so Orton had to stop mid-kick. It messed up the move. Kofi did come out to his music and attack Orton. He cleared the ring of Orton quickly.
[Q8]
Piper cheered as Kingston attacked Orton further at ringside. Orton made a comeback, brought Kofi back into the ring, and snapped his neck upward into the bottom rope catapult style. He set up a punt kick, but Kofi leaped into the air to avoid it and tackled Orton and punched away at him. He beat up Orton at ringside again. Orton again turned the tables at which point five referees jumped in and separated them. Cole said he hadn't seen that side of Kofi before. Orton broke free and jumped Kofi once again. Kofi made a comeback as they brawled into the stands. They ended up in the production pit. Kingston put Orton on a table and leaped off the railing with the Boom Drop double legdrop, crashing Orton through the table. A long brawl that was both entertaining and another step in cementing Kofi as getting a top tier push. A for effort, and now we'll see if Kofi can deliver (so far he has in all respects) and the fans are willing to buy into him at this level this soon.
-Backstage John Cena cut a promo about his match at Survivor Series. He said MSG will once again be the place that makes WWE history with the Raw main event. He called Big Show the "overweight NWO Telly Sevalas." He said Undertaker seemed like a good choice for a partner until he came to realize how difficult he is to talk to. He said he is a fighting champion. He was handed a note. He read it and said he didn't believe it. He said, "That changes everything." He paused and said it came to his attention that he made a mistake, Survivor Series isn't a handicapped match, it's a Triple Threat match. He said as a result there will be no frisbee golf with the DX DVDs or glow stick party and a DX celebration. He said if Michaels and Triple H wanted to ask him if he's ready, the answer is yes. He said the Ghostbusters saved this city once from a marsh-mellow man, and I'm still not sure why. He closed with "The Champ is Here." So far, this is the weakest hype for a PPV main event in a long time, with that being Cena's "go home" promo.
-The ring intro for Jericho and Big Show began as they cut to a break. [c]
[Q9]
-Cole plugged that Jesse Ventura would be guest hosting next week. Striker did a brief Ventura impression.
5 -- TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. UNDERTAKER & JOHN CENA vs. CHRIS JERICHO & BIG SHOW
The ring intros were still going on six minutes into the overrun. Undertaker got the full "big event" ring intro with druids and torches. Striker said there are a lot of interesting interweaving conflicts in this match. Cena vs. Jericho vs. Michaels started the match. Show tagged in right away, though. Undertaker and Triple H also tagged in. Show speared Taker as he was scuffling with Michaels. Jericho tagged in and applied a Walls of Jericho on Michaels. Taker quickly broke it up. At 4:00 Triple H and Cena faced off. Triple H gave Cena a crotch chop. Show gave them both a double chokeslam. Taker went after Show with a flying clothesline, then knocked him to the floor. He continued to beat him at ringside. Meanwhile, Cena scored a near fall on Jericho. Michaels took over on Jericho and hit a top rope elbow. He followed by stomping the mat, but Cena ducked his superkick and his some shoulder tackles and a back suplex. Then came the "You Can't See Me" routine. As Cena lifted Michaels for an Attitude Adjustment, Triple H tagged himself in. A minute later Michaels superkicked Show. Jericho gave Michaels a Code Breaker. Taker gave Jericho a chokeslam. Triple H clotheslined Taker over the top rope. Cena then surprised Triple H with an Attitude Adjustment for the win. Afterward, Taker gave Cena a Tombstone.
WINNER: Cena in 8:00.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Not very long, but they got a ton of big spots in that were well timed and executed. A crowd-pleasing "parade of stars and signature moves" type of main event.
FINAL THOUGHTS (7.5): The final hype for Cena-Hunter-Michaels was lousy, and Cena pinning Hunter may portend a Hunter title win at Survivor Series. The show itself felt "big" and was a nice recovery from the disastrous run that led to a deserved drop in audience levels in recent weeks. The pushes of Kofi, Swagger, Miz, and Sheamus are all being well done. The crowd is clearly itching to get permission to cheer Orton, and setting him up as a top babyface is going to be tough to resist, but WWE should for another year or two until they have firmly established a whole new tier of credible heels. Strange that Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes were left off the show. Piper alone was terrible, as is par for him the last 15 years, but once McMahon was added to the mix it hit the right tone and was pretty entertaining.
QUOTEBOOK
Miz: "I haven't said one word yet and you people have already chosen to hate me. I thought you people loved champions."
Roddy Piper: "If you mess with the Hot Rod, you're either going to be bald or dead. Yeah, I went there, because they know I love them. I love them all. Mostly the dead ones, not so much the bald ones. I'm the reason Hulk Hogan has no hair. Some things I just can't help."
Vince McMahon: "I have people come up to me all the time and say, 'I hope one day when I'm your age I can look as good as you.' I truthfully look into their eyes and say, 'Son, you don't look as good as me now." Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
Let your voice be heard. PWTorch.com readers are encouraged to participate in our regular polls where you can vote for the option of your choice and also see how other readers are voting. Be sure to vote in today's polls on the first two rounds of the Monday Night Wars II, and 3/15 Raw & Impact MVP...
VOTE IN OR SEE RESULTS OF PREVIOUS POLLS
