TNA Epics TV Show report
June 12, 2009 - Week 5
Aired on Bravo in the U.K.
Report by Cody Endres, Torch TV contributor

-Host Mick Foley explains that this week's episode will feature some of the very best from the lovely ladies of TNA including Awesome Kong, Roxxi, Christy Hemme, and Gail Kim. They must have run out of "classic" Slammiversary footage already. We're kicking things off with a Knockouts gauntlet match to crown the first ever TNA Knockouts Champion.

-We're backstage with Jeremy Borash at the Bound for Glory PPV held on October 14, 2007 in Duluth, Georgia. Borash introduces us to four of the five Knockouts making their debuts: Talia Madison (Velvet Sky), Angel Williams (Angelina Love), Shelly Martinez, and O.D.B. All of them ended up shouting over one another. Suddenly, all of the women grew wide eyed and ran out of the room. Awesome Kong entered and Borash skedaddled. A video package aired hyping the gauntlet match.

1 – GAUNLET MATCH – Winner becomes the first-ever TNA Knockouts Champion

Two women start the match. Another enters every 60 seconds. You must be thrown over the top rope to be eliminated. The final two ladies will have a match decided by pinfall or submission to crown the champion. Entrant #1 is Ms. Brooks. Entrant #2 is Jackie Moore. Jackie catches Ms. Brooks with a spinning back kick to take control of the match. Entrant #3 is Shelly Martinez. Martinez gives Ms. Brooks an inverted DDT. Ms. Brooks climbs to the top and nails Martinez with a flying whoopee cushion that would make Doink proud. Entrant #4 is Awesome Kong. Everyone is mesmerized by her entrance. Kong takes so long walking to the ring that Entrant #5 O.D.B. is already being announced. Jackie backdrops Ms. Brooks to the floor to eliminate her. The crack TNA production crew manages to completely miss Kong tossing out Martinez. Jackie leaps onto Kong's back, but Kong runs backwards into the turnbuckle. Kong hits Jackie with the Implant Buster and flings her over the top.

[Commercial Break]

O.D.B struggles with Kong in the ring while Entrant #6 Angel Williams is introduced. Angel climbs onto Kong's back to try to slow her down. Kong flips her over onto the mat. Angel dazes Kong with an enziguri. Entrant #7 is Christy Hemme. Kong grabs Hemme on the apron and throws her into the ring. Kong gets Hemme up in the torture rack and practically makes her head touch her toes while Hemme screams. Entrant #8 is Gail Kim. Kong powerbombs Hemme. Kim immediately goes after Kong. Medics come out to attend to Hemme and she is eliminated by default. Kong attempts to powerbomb Kim, but Kim reverses it into a huracanrana over the top rope to eliminate Kong. This was the moment where I saw way more of Awesome Kong then I ever wanted to see. On the live PPV, her outfit flipped up and viewers pretty much saw everything. Instead of editing the elimination out, they just digitalized Kong's body. Entrant #9 is Talia Madison. O.D.B. and Kim double team Angel to eliminate her. Entrant #10 is Roxxi Laveaux. Kim tosses out Talia while Roxxi pushes O.D.B. off the top for the other elimination. We're down to a singles match between Gail Kim and Roxxi Laveaux.

Roxxi catches Kim with a fall-away slam for a nearfall. Kim turns a flying head scissors into an octopus submission, but Roxxi reaches the ropes. Kim fails on a missile dropkick attempt. Roxxi hits a powerbomb and floats over with a bridge for another nearfall. Moments later, Kim gives Roxxi the Celtic Cross for the win.

WINNER: Gail Kim in 12:04 to become the first TNA Knockouts Champion. More time should have been given to the singles contest.

-A spotlight video package aired with clips of a Velvet Sky sit-down interview. Velvet talked about her interest to get into acting/commercials, but she ended up in wrestling. She plays softball recreationally and is a huge boxing & UFC fan. Family is very important to her. Her favorite TV shows are Prison Break, Nip/Tuck, and Lost. Not sure how old this interview is, but Prison Break really took a dive after the first season.

[Commercial Break]

-A video aired recapping the Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match from January 6, 2008 at the Final Resolution PPV. After some shenanigans with multiple referees and weapons, Kim retained the Knockouts title in a No-DQ match.

2 – GAIL KIM vs. AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed) – TNA Knockouts Championship match

This match is from the January 10, 2008 edition of TNA Impact. Saeed (Cheerleader Melissa) is making her managerial debut here. Early on, Kong decks Kim with a spinning backfist Shonie Carter style and sends her to the floor. The crowd begins a dueling "Lets go Kong/Lets go Gail" chant. Kong sends Kim headfirst into the steps. Kim leaps off the entrance ramp onto Kong, but Kong rams her into the side of the ramp. Kim is groggy sitting against the side of the stage. Kong runs at her, but Gail ducks out of the way. Kong crashes through the wall of the stage. Inexplicably, we jump ahead in the match. Kong hoists Kim onto the top turnbuckle. Kim jumps off and hits a flying DDT for a nearfall. Kim follows up with a back splash off the top rope for another nearfall. Kong retaliates with a chokeslam. Kong gives Kim the Implant Buster and Kim barely gets a shoulder up. Don West shrieks in disbelief. Kong hits three powerbombs on Kim successfully to pick up the win.

WINNER: Awesome Kong in 4:43 of what aired to capture the TNA Knockouts Title. Great action. Personally I would have rather seen the Final Resolution match between these two, but it's hard to complain - we had to sit through three King of the Mountain matches last week.

-A spotlight video package aired with clips of a Traci Brooks sit-down interview. She likes all kinds of music and is a fan of hockey. If she wasn't involved with wrestling, she would be involved with pig farming.

[Commercial Break]

-Mick Foley said he had another important first, if you call seeing women locked up in a cage fun. Foley called it fun. People off camera agreed with him too.

3 – Queen of the Cage Match – Winner is #1 Contender to the Knockouts Title

This match is from the April 13, 2008 Lockdown PPV held in Lowell, Massachusetts. In a promotion that has had some ridiculously stupid gimmick matches, this one takes the cake. All the women start the match at ringside. The first two women to climb into the cage then have a singles match to determine a #1 Contender. Participants include Christy Hemme, Salinas, Jacqueline, Traci Brooks, Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Rhaka Khan, and Roxxi Laveaux. Before the match, Mike Tenay commented that we haven't seen much of Khan so we don't know what she can do in the ring. The answer: not much. A big clustermess at ringside occurs. Khan and Salinas have a horrible exchange. Love climbs up the cage and enters into the ring. Velvet Sky climbs up, but Roxxi races up and beats her into the ring. We're down to a singles match between Angelina Love and Roxxi Laveaux.

The women start with a stare down. Roxxi hits a running boot for a nearfall. Love connects with a jawbreaker and a kneelift. Love clotheslines Roxxi down and rams her head into the canvas repeatedly. Love executes a scissor kick for a nearfall. Love gives Roxxi the Lights Out (jumping flatliner), but Roxxi kicks out. Love rolls Roxxi up for another cover. Roxxi kicks out sending Love head first into the cage. Roxxi follows up with the Voodoo Drop for the win.

WINNER: Roxxi Laveaux in 5:27 to become the #1 Contender to the Knockouts Title. Forgettable.

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