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1/8 TNA Impact recap by Wilkenfeld: Nash makes threats, then forgets about them
Jan 11, 2009 - 12:11:42 AM |
By: Daniel Wilkenfeld, PWTorch Contributor
Where We've Been: There's not really much to say this week, since last week was just a recap show. Though it was fairly good, it did break up whatever forward progress they had going into Genesis, and I really cannot think of a good reason to care about this card. Angle-Jarrett has been a surprisingly slow burn, but mixed in with so much garbage it's not really setting my world afire. Mick Foley returning to action as part of a six-man tag match isn't really going to be a big seller either. They have one more night, so we'll see if they can motivate any of the rest.
The Show:
[Opening Credits]
Tonight we see…Kurt Angle vs. BG James? That's not especially interesting.
(1) ALEX SHELLEY defeats ERIC YOUNG
This is your second semi-final match for the X Division Tournament, but really it's the final. If Sabin wins the belt I'll eat a goat. Young starts things off with a Snap Power Slam for two. Shelley backs him into the corner and goes for a Tornado DDT, but it's reversed into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. EY gets tripped by Sabin, then gets knocked to the floor. Shelley Suicide Dives him into the barrier, then rolls him back in for a Cross Body Block off the top rope for a long two count. Shelley works over the upper body with some kicks and a Knee Drop. He locks in some new submission—it starts like a Russian Leg Sweep but becomes a Neck Vise. EY powers out, but whiffs from the top rope and eats a Standing Ensuguri and a Tornado DDT. Shelley tries to finish him off with Sliced Bread #2; EY throws him off, eats a Superkick, but then gets up and comes back with a Superkick of his own. They jockey for position, with Young gaining the advantage with a Body Slam. An Elbow Drop off the top rope gets two. Sabin gets up on the apron, but EY shoots Shelley into him and rolls him (Shelley) up for a long two count. Shelley sort of kicks out (though it looks more like EY just let go), and Young walks into a kick from Sabin from the outside. Shelley finishes him off with Sliced Bread #2.
Sheik Abdul Bashir comes down the ramp as referee Shane Sewell tries to go to the back. After a couple of slaps fail to goad Sewell, Bashir gives up and just starts pummeling him. He beats him all the way into the ring, where Sewell creates enough distance to nail a forearm. He tears off his shirt and crotch chops in Bashir's direction; Bashir charges into a Back Body Drop over the top rope. Sewell fights him out in the floor, then rolls him into the ring and beats him up some more. Bashir rolls out, waving bye bye to Sewell. Can you really fire someone for defending himself? Cornette comes down to the ring, telling Sewell and Bashir to stick around. He reminds Sewell that he was on probation, then fires him. It's a shame there's no other job they could give a wrestler once they fire him from his referee's position. Bashir is laughing, to which Cornette does not take kindly. He is not overly thrilled with how Bashir manipulated the situation, but lets Bashir know that Sewell is fired for exactly three days. Because at Genesis, Shane Sewell is back on the TNA payroll as a wrestler. I would never have seen that coming—you know, if I hadn't watched a wrestling program before. Sewell will begin his career as a wrestler against Sheik Abdul Bashir. What happened to Sewell needing to retire to protect his neck?
[Commercial Break]
The Main Event Mafia are out to the ring. Kurt says that the battle lines have been drawn, and that in three days the power shift will be finalized. When the TNA founder and executive share holder are both beaten in the same night, the MEM will fulfill their purpose by becoming the leaders of TNA. You know who won't be a leader no matter who wins? Any TNA original talent. Kurt questions what Jarrett could have been thinking putting his friend BG into the ring when Angle's in this state of mind. Kurt says that he feels sorry for Jeff, since he has no way out. At Genesis, Jarrett's whole world will come to an end. Sting takes the mic, and says that he never had anything against Rhino till he decided to side against them. He admits there's some stuff going on that's big and bad, but it's still all about getting respect. There's a war going on, but it'll be coming to an end, possibly at Genesis. Nash takes the mic, and he doesn't think things will end at Genesis. That's a whole three days away. They've always been able to take out who they wanted when they wanted, so why not just take care of things tonight by finishing off Mick and Jeff? Poor Rhino—the MEM doesn't even think he's worth beating up. Steiner takes the mic, and says that Mick made a big mistake by hitting him first. Now he's no longer untouchable. Booker grabs the mic next, and warns them that they'll be coming for them.
JB is in the back with Foley and Jarrett. He wants to know how they're going to survive. Devon and AJ Styles pop into the office, and say that they'll survive by sticking near them. Devon hands Mick a flannel shirt, and says that Ray would want him to have it. AJ thanks Jarrett for taking a chance on TNA and on him, and says that he'll return the favor now by defending Jeff.
[Commercial Break]
"The governor" has Angelina Love and Velvet Sky at some sort of horse farm for their "charity work." Kip's not there, because he's "done with this". If only we all could be. In response to someone's comment from a couple weeks ago, I have no beef with comedy sketches in wrestling. This one just hasn't been funny at least since Booker T's locker room.
(2) AWESOME KONG (w/RHAKHA KHAN, RAESHA SAEED, & SOJOURNER BOLT) defeats MADISON RAYNE
Kong's bringing a photo of Christy Hemme down to the ring, like she used to with Gail Kim. Aww…I think she misses her friend. Mike Tenay tells us that Bolt, Saeed, and Khan are Kong's "Kongterouge". I think I can get behind that. Rayne dodges around the ring before nailing a big dropkick. Sadly, it's only big compared to her, not Kong. Kong no-sells it and tosses her across the ring. She squishes Rayne in the corner, knocks her around a bit, and tosses her out of the ring. Bolt tosses her right back into the ring, where Kong floors her with a Short-Armed Clothesline. Kong is bored, so she just finishes things off with an Awesome Bomb.
Not-Crystal is in the back with Abyss, who's sad that Matt Morgan's not talking to him now. Abyss knows how to make things right though—he's going to revert to his old self at Genesis. He worries that he's upset Not-Crystal, which would be bad, cause he doesn't want his girlfriend and his best friend mad at him at the same time. Not-Crystal seems unsurprisingly displeased with her new appellation.
[Commercial Break]
Not-Crystal is in the back with LAX. Homicide expresses their excitement at holding two Feast or Fired briefcases, and says that he'll take on whomever wins the X Division Championship. Not-Crystal asks if the fact that they both have singles shots means they're over as a team, but Homicide informs her that just like diamonds, LAX is forever.
They run down the card for Genesis.
JB is in the back with The Motor City Machine Guns, and he wants to know if the X Division Championship will get in the way of their friendship. Sabin says that that's a rough question of priorities. Shelley points out that they've been planning this for weeks, ever since Mick Foley made the match. He's always said that great things since come in pairs, like he and Shelley, Mick Foley and bad hygiene, Mick Foley and hypocrisy…Mick Foley and standing right behind you…he doesn't list that last one, but it happens to be true. Mick swings by, and says that he can't afford to worry about whether they'll have a good match on Sunday, so if one of them takes a fall or they stink up the joint, they'll be gone.
[Commercial Break]
We take a look back 2008 in review again. Take that, original content!
On tonight's Rough Cut, Robert Roode and James Storm talk about how they're both aiming for the World Heavyweight Championship, but they're happy with where they are for now. Storm looks forward to getting to spend more time with his little girl, whereas Roode seemed more concerned with a legacy of greatness.
(3) MATT MORGAN (w/ABYSS) defeats ROBERT ROODE (w/JAMES STORM & JACQUELINE)
Morgan tells Abyss to hang back, then goes to have a word with James Storm. That gives Roode the chance to get the quick start from behind, but Morgan powers him into a corner and pounds him with back elbows. Roode rolls out of the ring to avoid the Carbon Footprint. Morgan comes out after him and slams his head into the barricade. He hits some big open-hand chops before rolling Roode back into the ring. Roode rolls out the other side and tries to get away with Storm, but Abyss introduces them to a Meeting of the Minds and rolls him back into the ring. The ref goes to chastise Abyss, which gives Jacqueline the chance to poke Morgan's eyes. Roode nails a Neck Breaker and an Elbow Drop for a one count. Roode hits his top-rope variant of The Throwback for two, then uses up what good will he might have generated with the crowd by working a Chin Lock. Morgan powers out; Roode tries to come at him off the top rope but gets caught in an Inverted Atomic Drop. Morgan hits one of the best dropkicks I've ever seen, then nails the Carbon Footprint. Storm gets up on the apron to spit some beer, but Morgan knocks him down and tosses Roode out on top of him. Roode sells a leg injury, and Storm brings out a trainer. Roode tells the ref he can't continue, so the ref stops the match. Morgan does not seem thrilled to win that way.
After the match, Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed appear at the top of the ramp with Lethal's tag team title shot.
[Commercial Break]
Lethal and Creed are now in the ring. Lethal has the mic, and uses it to remind us that he can cash in his title shot whenever he wants. Seeing as how the champions are out in the ring anyway, this seems like a good time.
(4) JAY LETHAL & CONSEQUENCES CREED defeat BEER MONEY INC.
Creed and Lethal start things off with quick shots on Storm. Lethal leaves the ring, but Creed nails a Rolling Clothesline for two. Creed makes the tag, and then they hit a double team Sunset Flip/Elbow Drop for two. Creed tags in and they work over Storm in the corner, and then Creed hits a Face Plant off the top rope for two. Lethal blind tags himself in, Storm goes outside the ring, but Lethal comes out with a Suicide Dive. He rolls Storm back in for two. He tags in Creed, who goes to the top rope, where Roode trips him up. Storm makes a quick cover for two.
[Commercial Break]
Storm is somehow in control still, flooring Creed with a big clothesline. He makes the tag to Roode, who slowly gets into the ring. They nail a Double-Team Suplex. Roode hits some big right hands, still favoring the knee. Storm fakes a tag, and tosses Creed out of the ring to Ms. Jackie. She rolls Creed back in, where he dodges a charge from Storm. Storm knocks into Roode, then cracks heads with Creed on the rebound. Creed flips over and makes the tag to Lethal. Lethal floors Storm with a series of forearms and flips into a dropkick off a Tajiri-like handspring for two. Lethal whiffs on a Slingshot Clotheslines and eats an Eye of the Storm for two. Storm goes for the Back Cracker, but Lethal holds onto the ropes and nails the Lethal Combo. Lethal nails the Savage Elbow, but the ref is distracted with Jacqueline. Robert Roode rolls into the ring with the briefcase, but Lethal sees him coming and kicks out his bad knee. He sees that the ref is still busy, so he whacks Storm with the briefcase and covers for three. We have new tag team champions.
[Commercial Break]
Not-Crystal is in The Front Line's locker room, where Lethal says they're bigger than The Mega Powers and Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlus. Creed wants them to know that from now on, the Consequences are Lethal. She tries to ask Devon a question about their match on Sunday, but he says the focus should be on letting Creed and Lethal enjoy their titles.
We rundown the card for Genesis again, with the tag title match now being a Triple Threat.
JB is in the back with Jeff Jarrett and BG James, who says that CODE: SCREW YOU TNA, THAT'S NOT COOL.
[Commercial Break]
The Beautiful People just finished shoveling horse manure. Angelina Love has finally had enough, as she doesn't think this feels right. "The Governor" explains to them that if you look at the women in Washington, you can tell that you can't get to the top based on looks. She promises though that next week she'll have the documents ready to officially make them part of her cabinet. Love seems appeased.
Jeff Jarrett tells us to cross the line.
(5) KURT ANGLE defeats BG JAMES
This is our main event? Really? BG lies in wait and ambushes Angle on the ramp. Apparently this is a No-DQ Match, which explains why BG is allowed to beat Kurt all around the ring. Angle rakes BG's eyes, then beats him against the barricade. BG comes back with right hands, but Kurt whips him into the ring post. You know what's an awesome way to get people excited right before a pay-per-view? A BG James match. BG's busted open.
[Commercial Break]
I just remembered that we still have the MEM trying to take out Jarrett and Foley still on tap for tonight, so I mind this match less. Angle nails a Vertical Suplex for two in the ring, then works the Sleeper. The crowd has dueling chants going, with Angle having I'd say about a 65-35 advantage. BG powers out, but Angle takes him back down with a knee to the gut for two. Angle is back to the Sleeper. BG powers out again, but again Kurt rakes the eyes. This time BG comes back with some Juke N' Jiving for two. A Pump Handle Slam gets two, but Angle picks an ankle as he gets up. BG kicks him off, but when he tries to charge, Angle sidesteps and nails an Olympic Slam for two. Angle's straps come down. He goes for a German Suplex—BG fights it for a few seconds, but Kurt gets it in the end. BG blocks the second and looks for a Pile Driver, but Angle Back Body Drops him and gets BG's ankle. BG makes it to the ropes, but Angle pulls him away. That happens one more time, but after the second near rope break Angle adds a Leg Grapevine and gets the tap.
After the match Steiner, Nash, and Booker join Kurt in the ring. Steiner tosses Kurt a chair, which Angle wraps around BG's ankle. They stomp the chair, eventually drawing out Jarrett and Foley. For some reason the MEM clear the ring. Jeff calls security and trainers down to the ring to help with BG.
[Commercial Break]
Jeff and Mick have been joined in the ring by Rhino, AJ Styles, and Brother Devon as BG gets stretchered away. Jarrett is sitting on the chair in the ring, mic in hand. He tells Kurt that words can't describe how he feels right now. This was between the two of them, and BG had nothing to do with it. Jeff says that as the leader of TNA he has prided himself on setting an example and doing things the right way every time. Like that time he pulled a fan out of the crowd and broke a guitar over his head. Or maybe he's referring to that time he got Larry Zabysko to instruct Earl Hebner to screw Christian Cage out of the King of the Mountain Match. Or maybe…oh, I guess he doesn't mean any of those things. Anyway, right now all he can think about is beating the hell out of Kurt. He starts to get riled up, so Mick calms him down. Mick says that with all this emotion in the ring he can't help but feel a little bit ashamed. Two weeks ago he told the MEM that at Genesis Mick Foley crosses the line. But then he looked up at himself in high definition, and realized he looked pretty bad. He's missing a tooth, has a graying beard, and a haggard face. But then he thought about why that was so—that tooth is gone because in one of the most famous matches of all time it shot up his nose. All his wounds are like that. He knows he can't walk the fastest, and that sometimes he stumbles when he walks and talks, but he's still a hardcore legend, and that's who's coming to Genesis. He knows Rhino and Jarrett will have their hands full of Genesis, but he'll draw strength from Brother Devon and AJ Styles. He might not be as good as he once was, but at Genesis, for one night only, he'll be as good as he ever was.
Where We're Going: That was a slight step forward, I guess? Sting and Foley sold the hell out of their respective matches, but I'm not sure it was nearly enough. Honestly the most promising advance of the night was the indication that they have some faith in Sabin vs. Shelley, which could easily be a show stealer. Elsewhere on the show, we have a grand total of one (1) TNA original taking it to the MEM. So I guess that war's over already? That would explain why, after promising to take out Jarrett and Foley, Nash just sort of wandered off at the end.
Star of the Night: Alex Shelley, I guess? There were pretty slim pickings this night.
Overall: This was a pretty bad show. There was relatively little that was overly offensive, but there were several occasions when I wanted to change the channel. It just sort of petered out at the end, and I'm guessing that if you weren't planning to get the PPV going into this show, you weren't planning to going out either. The tag title switch was probably the episode's only saving grace. D+
Daniel is a graduate student at The Ohio State University. He just finished the first of two phases of his PhD candidacy exam. Good-luck wishes for the second can be sent to dawilk316@gmail.com
Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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