TV Reports
Hulk Hogan's CCW TV report 10/18: Detailed rundown and overview of new pro wrestling series on CMT
Oct 19, 2008 - 3:07:16 PM |
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By Lee Stevens, PWTorch Specialist
In the early moments of "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling," Hogan claims that when done correctly, wrestling can be "an art form." When done correctly, reality TV and wrestling can be an art form too, or at least a pleasant diversion once a week. Before we get into the heart of CCW, we need to know the competition. Let's look at how we know them, any possible ties to wrestling, a past history with reality shows and other "vital" information.
Dennis Rodman: Forward for the Chicago Bulls, Detroit Pistons and several other NBA teams. He is known to wrestling fans as a celebrity member of the NWO and competed with Hogan at "Bash At The Beach."
Trishelle Cannatella: "The Real World - Las Vegas," "Gauntlet,""Inferno" and posed for "Playboy." No obvious ties to wrestling, unless you count the special "3-way dance" in an early episode of The Real World. I believe it was unsanctioned match.
Dustin Diamond: "Screech" from Saved By The Bell. Also appeared on Celebrity Fit Club and Celebrity Boxing
Danny Bonaduce: "The Partridge Family," a radio DJ and several reality appearances including his own show, "Breaking Bonaduce" and "I Know My Kid's A Star." He has several wrestling connections, including have former WWE Diva Ashley Massero serve as his training, plus he once dropped TNA featured player Johnny Fairplay on his head during a reality awards show.
Nikki Ziering: Former "The Price is Right," posed for "Playboy" and used to be married to the Ian Ziering from "Beverly Hills 90210." She appeared on the British reality show, "Celebrity Love Island" and "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here."
Eric "Butterbean" Esch: Boxer, MMA fighter and appeared in the wrestling ring against Marc Mero at "In Your House" in 1997 and knocked out Bart Gunn in a "Brawl For All" fight in 1999.
Tiffany: Teen singer, appeared on "Celebrity Fit Club," appeared in "Playboy," plus she thinks we're alone now, there doesn't seem to be anyone around.
Erin Murphy: Tabitha on "Bewitched." She appeared as a judge on Bonaduce's show "I Know My Kid's A Star" and "Identity."
Todd Bridges: He is the Willis in the famous question, "What chu talkin' 'bout Willis?," asked in "Diff'rent Strokes." He also appeared on "Skating With The Celebrities," "Surreal Life" and "Celebrity Boxing."
Frank Stallone: Actor, singer, writer, amateur boxer, brother of Rambo.
The rules of the competition are fairly simple. The celebrities (their word, not mine) are split into two teams and, with the help of their trainers, will learn three moves that week. Then, they will perform a match in front of a crowd, under the watchful eyes of three judges. One team will be safe, while the other will be up for elimination. From that team, one celebrity will go home.
Our trainers are Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, who will lead Team Beefcake and Brian Knobs from "The Nasty Boys," who will be in charge of Team Nasty. To be fair, neither man was famous for being an excellent technical wrestler, but being a friend of the Executive Producer has its benefits. To his credit, Beefcake looks like he could still be in the ring without much embarrassment. To his credit, Knobs looks like he knows that the buffet starts at 5:00 sharp.
The judges are former WCW head honcho Eric Bischoff, legendary manager Jimmy "The Mouth of The South" Hart and Hogan. Bischoff explains that the judges are looking for "Technical Ability" and "Showmanship."
As for the celebrities, several seem quite comfortable in the ring even during the training sessions. Bonaduce quickly distinguishes himself as someone who looks the part and acts the part. His only complaint to Hogan? "I don't like that the ring is red. I want to see the blood." Tiffany - are you still glad you came? Butterbean has a presence, along with Diamond and Rodman. Ziering immediately shows her dedication and research towards wrestling with the line "I never actually even watched it." If my agent had called me with this opportunity, I think I would have taken a few minutes to request a dvd or hit record at the appropriate time. Wrestling fans everywhere immediately book a match between Bonaduce and Ziering.
The three moves the celebrities much learn this week are the kick to the midsection, the forearm smash and the clothesline. Team Beefcake starts by kicking the middle rope, which leads to early success, while Team Nasty gets admonished for not having the right intensity. Ziering attempts a kick to the midsection and misses everything. Meanwhile at Team Beefcake Headquarters, Bridges has a better hit rate, which is unfortunate news for the wrestler in the ring with him. Bridges kicked him square in the "Bischoffs." We didn't such much training footage this week and if that move was any indication of the quality of work, perhaps there was a reason.
After everyone had a chance to practice, it's time for the opening bell. Because of the odd number on each team, one celebrity was designated as a manager. In the first match for Team Beefcake, Bonaduce and Tiffany team up to face Butterbean and Trishelle, with Bridges outside as the manager. Once again, Bonaduce and Butterbean match up well and appear more comfortable in the ring that some others. Trishelle had her moments, while Tiffany seemed to be enjoying herself, even if she didn't appear completely serious about the circumstances. Our guest announcer "Bubba The Love Sponge" compared Bonaduce to Brian Pillman, at least in "The Loose Cannon" category. In the end, Butterbean pinned Bonaduce. If I haven't mentioned Bridges, it's because he never got involved in the match, at least they never showed footage of him. After the bell, Bridges attacked Butterbean briefly, but the Bean quickly disposed of him. Until then, I had forgotten that he was on the team.
The second match featured Team Nasty, with Ziering serving as manager. To her credit, she picked her spots, choking an opponent or disrupting the flow, at least slightly. Nothing in the ring looked perfect, but the same could be said for the Beth Phoenix/Johnny Knoxville debacle last week on Raw. In the end, Team Nasty was deemed the winner of the week, so Stallone, Diamond, Murphy, Ziering and Rodman were safe from elimination. Team Beefcake was on the chopping block, but one by one, Bonaduce, Butterbean and Trishelle were moved to safety, leaving Bridges and Tiffany as the final two standing.
I'm not claiming that Tiffany showed that she's going to be the next Trish Stratus or Awesome Kong, but she was in the match and did something. Bridges performed the same amount of moves during the match that I did and I was nowhere near the ring. Still, Hogan, Hart and Bischoff saw something in the post-match attack, so Bridges is safe for another week and Tiffany is gone. CCW did a great job of defining "Heel" (bad guy) and "Face" (good guy) early in the show for casual fans or people stumbling onto the program. I wonder how many of those same fans have any clue as to Hogan's dismissal at the end. "You're a jabroni, get out of my ring." Jabroni, from the word "jobber" or "to job," roughly defined as someone who is going to lose, has lost and will likely lose again. I can't help but think a definition there could have helped. Otherwise, I picture someone watching and thinking, why did that tall bald man just call her pasta?
As for the rest of the season, Bonaduce clearly looks like a favorite, but if you believe the preview clips, he will have a rough stretch ahead. Dennis Rodman has an advantage with actually working matches in the past. Erin has the advantage of having a mother as a witch. She can shake her nose and make things happen.
The previews also show Goldberg making a rare wrestling related appearance. Rob Van Dam will teach the celebrities how to say their names while pointing at themselves and eventually a CCW champion will be crowned.
What did you think of the debut episode? Check out the poll on the main page of www.pwtorch.com or e-mail me at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com. Also check out Wade Keller's report on this show posted last night in the "TV Reports" section or the Main Listing.
Lee Stevens also takes a closer look at Monday Night Raw by going "Under The Microscope." He also takes a closer look at his floor by going under his coffee table. That usually happens on Saturdays.
Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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