TV Reports
KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (6-30-03): Triple H vs. Rob Van Dam, Stacy Keibler, Rico, Maven, Steiner, Christian, Molly
Jun 30, 2008 - 9:15:20 PM |
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
JUNE 30, 2003
BUFFALO, N.Y.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
-Steve Austin wasn't on the show. Eric Bischoff announced at the start that Austin wasn't there, so this was his show to make his mark. He intervened to restart several controversial match finishes, usually to the overt benefit of the heel in the match.
-Hunter retained the WWE Title against Rob Van Dam. Bischoff offered Kane a title rematch, but he was too ashamed to show his face and turned it down.
-After the title match at the end of the show, Kane chokeslammed Bischoff off the stage and through a table, after teasing throughout the show that he might be turning on Rob Van Dam. Kane was ashamed to show his face, but Bischoff said he had to or else he'd fire him.
-Christian retained the IC Title against Booker.
-Gail Kim debuted and won the Women's Title in a seven-woman battle royal.
DETAILED RUNDOWN AND ANALYSIS
-After the Raw opening and highlights of last week's Kane unmasking, they went to Chris Jericho in center-ring with the "Highlight Reel" set in place. (Jericho sounds a lot like Eric Bischoff, as I thought it was Bischoff doing the intro at first and Nitro was back on the air.) Jericho talked about Kane unmasking last week and said he looks like Crusty the Clown on crack, which got a pop from the crowd. He shifted gears from "ugly to beauty" by introducing Stacy, who came to the ring with Scott Steiner. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler said their first words at this point. Jericho said he is a legend in the ring and between the sheets and suggested Stacy join him. Jericho plugged Stacy's spread in Stuff Magazine and some photos were shown. Steiner threw out some lewd sexual innuendo which upset Jericho. Stacy kept the streak going of referencing Jericho's small penis. Jericho introduced Test as his second guest. Once his music began, Jericho attacked Steiner from behind. Steiner came back and threw Jericho to ringside near Test.
Eric Bischoff appeared on the stage. He said he had good news - Steve Austin would not be at Raw, so he would be making his mark with tonight's show. He announced Stacy & Steiner vs. Test & Jericho later in the show.
[commercial break]
-They went cold to the ring where Lance Storm was in the middle of addressing the crowd. "If there is one thing I am not, it's boring," he said. "I looked up boring in the dictionary and came up with this written statement." He began reading, but a couple sentences in, Goldberg's music started and he walked out amidst his fireworks and sparks. Just as Goldberg got to the ring, Rodney Mack attacked him from behind. Ross said Goldberg ended Mack's undefeated streak last week and Mack was looking for revenge. Mack threw Goldberg into the ring, but immediately found himself Speared to the mat with a thud. Storm fled the scene. Goldberg flexed and screamed, then Jackhammered Mack for good measure.
-Bischoff backstage told Kane not to be angry with him. He said it was RVD's idea for the mask to be on the line, not his. Bischoff said he was going to give Kane a rematch against Triple H for the WWE Title tonight. Kane shook his head no, still saying nothing with a towel over his head. Bischoff said he must fear the fans are going to ridicule him. Bischoff said he would give the title shot to RVD instead of Kane if he didn't want it. He did tell Kane, though, that he would have to go out in front of the people later or else he would fire him.
-Ross and Lawler plugged Christian vs. Booker for the IC Title later. As Trish came out for her match, Ross plugged the "100 Most Irresistible Women" special airing after Raw.
1 -- WOMEN'S BATTLE ROYAL: JAZZ, GAIL KIM, TRISH STRATUS, IVORY, MOLLY HOLLY, VICTORIA, JACQUELINE -- WWE Women's Title on the line.
Ross and Lawler hyped Gail Kim as being a big deal. They also mentioned that Austin had a case of "food poisoning." Early in the match, Jazz went down after a Victoria kick and rolled to the ring apron. Three referees checked on her and helped her to the back. It looked like Victoria must have potatoed her because not a lot of attention was drawn to what happened by the announcers at the time or later in the match. The final three in the ring at 2:00 were Trish, Kim, and Victoria. Trish and Victoria fought on the top turnbuckle. Victoria knocked Trish to the mat, then Kim sling-shot Victoria into Trish, knocking her off the apron. That left Victoria vs. Kim. Kim head scissored Victoria over the top rope to the floor to win the Women's Title.
WINNER: Gail Kim at 4:15.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Some ugly exchanges in a sloppy match overall with some anti-climactic eliminations early. The whole scenario really cheapened the Women's Title. How prestigious can a belt be if a newcomer can win it in a fluke-like situation by beating someone other than the champion in a four minute match without scoring a three count or submission.
[commercial break]
2 -- CHRISTIAN vs. BOOKER T -- IC Title match
Christian attacked Booker from behind during Booker's ring entrance. They brawled for a couple of minutes and ended up in the crowd even before the bell rang to officially start the match. Officials and refs separated the two. As officials attempted to restore order, Ross said they'd cut away for a commercial. I like the way they've made the intensity of the feud between these two seem so intense that they can't wait until the bell rings to get their hands on each other.
[commercial break]
Booker did his Spinaroonie late in the match, but when he went to the top rope, Christian knocked him off balance. Booker came back with a fisherman's suplex for a pin. At first the ref awarded Booker the match and apparently the title, but then Bischoff stepped out and said "Wait a minute!" He said Booker's shoulder was down, too. They replayed it, and sure enough Bischoff was right. Rather than restart the match, he declared it a draw, therefore Christian extended his streak of retaining the title by the slimmest of lucky margins.
WINNER: A Draw at roughly 10:00 (the match was joined in progress).
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good non-stop back and forth intense action in the ring.
-RVD told Kane backstage that he can't believe he turned down the World Title match. He said the fans will accept him. "No they won't! I hate the fans," Kane said. RVD said that's not true and he hopes he doesn't hate him. "I hope you don't hate me tonight when I win the World Title," RVD said, then he walked away. Kane said, after RVD was gone, "I do hate you, Rob."
I was critical of WWE earlier about how this weekend's house shows were headlined with Hunter vs. RVD for the WWE Title and how they should have run an angle on Raw last week to make the match at house shows make more sense. In a sense, they've done just that, but in reverse order. At house shows, they said Kane was too ashamed to wrestle so RVD was taking his place. At the time, it just seemed like some strange copout of the Kane-Hunter match and that RVD vs. Hunter was a relatively "cold" headline match without an angle driving it. Now, they've made those fans who attended the house shows over the weekend feel they saw the beginnings of what is a major storyline on this week's Raw - that being Kane being too ashamed to wrestle and RVD getting his title shot by default. I'd still like to see WWE do more to focus on next weekend's house shows on the TV show that precedes them - even just little things on the side that can be addressed if not resolved at house shows to make those attending feel they are part of something important - although I have to revise my thumbs down a bit regarding this weekend's RVD-Kane-Hunter situation since Raw tonight has managed to tie everything together well and not make it seem like one of those dreaded angles that happens in the "house show vacuum" but is never mentioned on TV.
[commercial break]
3 -- TEST & CHRIS JERICHO vs. SCOTT STEINER & STACY
At ringside Jericho choked Steiner with a cable. Test stomped away at Steiner back inside the ring. As Jericho had Steiner in a chinlock in center ring at 5:00, Ross said he hoped the closest Stacy got to the match was standing on the ring apron. Test ended up missing his big boot and crotching himself on the top rope. Stacy then shook the top rope to add injury to injury. Test, holding his crotch, helped Jericho stomp away at Steiner. Jericho shoved the ref to the side, prompting a DQ. Bischoff then interrupted and said that match isn't going to end on a DQ. He said the match is now restarted as a "no DQ" match. Steiner threw Jericho over the top rope, then gave Test the Ivan Putski Polish Hammer in center ring. Jericho re-entered and nailed Steiner with a chair. With Steiner unable to wrestle, he reached up to tag Stacy. She tagged in. What if she didn't tag? Would they DQ her and Steiner?) Test gave Stacy a pumphandle slam and score the pin.
WINNERS: Test & Jericho at 8:48.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Good TV match considering Steiner had to wrestle the entire time until the finish.
[commercial break]
4 -- RICO (w/Jackie) vs. MAVEN
Rico and Jackie continue to develop the little showmanship aspects of their match. Rico reached down his crotch and pulled out a key. Maven acted as if he had just offered him poop for a snack and slapped the key out of his hand. Rico celebrated any offense like Gorgeous George did. Rico jumped into Maven's arms and kissed him, then pranced around. He even held the ref's hand and pranced around the ring with the ref, which got the crowd - not sure what to think - to laugh a bit. Rico finished Maven with a wheel kick.
WINNER: Rico at 4:46.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Rico's character is better than Billy & Chuck's - which isn't saying much, but it's meant as an endorsement of Rico - because he's genuinely into it. It's clear that he's messing with his opponents in a way that Goldust originally did when his character was first introduced. His character is very much a take-off on Gorgeous George. Ross seems to be embarrassed to call Rico's matches, going so far as to say, "We've got some thinking to do on this one."
[commercial break]
-Clips aired of last week's Evolution attack on Mick Foley backstage.
5 -- RANDY ORTON vs. TOMMY DREAMER
Dreamer DDT'd Orton late in the match, but Flair put Orton's leg under the bottom rope to stop the count. Dreamer brought out the kendo stick. Flair ran into the ring to escape from Dreamer. Orton surprised Dreamer with his RKO finisher for the win. Flair put Dreamer in the figure-four leglock after the match as Orton whipped him with the kendo stick a few times.
WINNER: Orton at 4:17.
STAR RATING: * - Solid TV match.
-Bischoff approached RVD backstage as he warmed up for his match while doing the splits. RVD told Bischoff he knows he's trying to exploit Kane for TV ratings, "and that's not cool." Bischoff told RVD the mask idea was his (RVD's) in the first place. Bischoff said if Kane refuses to show his face, he'll lose his job and that will be on his shoulders. Bischoff told him to take out his aggression on Hunter and win the title. RVD said he would. I like the hype for this week's TV main event. RVD getting a title shot alone should be a draw, but rather than just focus on the belt, they've added the element of RVD's head being affected by causing Kane so much anguish, with Bischoff only adding to the mind games. Add in the mystery of whether Kane is going to cost RVD the match, and it's a good backstory for a TV main event.
[commercial break]
-Bischoff told Terri to interview Kane to find out his intentions. She said she didn't want to be in the same room with Kane in his state of mind. Bischoff said if she didn't she'd be fired. Ross said Bischoff is sure throwing his weight around. Whatever the reason for Austin's absence, they're doing a nice job setting up his return since it's becoming clear how "power hungry" Bischoff gets without him around.
6 -- LA RESISTANCE vs. SPIKE DUDLEY &
Lawler said he's surprised Hurricane wouldn't get together with a bigger partner. He said Spike just bought an ant house as a second residence. Fans were chanting "boring." The Lance Storm angle appeared to be haunting them on this one, although it died out quickly. It wasn't as if the wrestlers weren't moving non-stop for the 60 seconds before the "boring" chant started. In fact, by 2:30 the crowd was clapping to encourage the babyfaces, although that didn't last, either. It's not the type of crowd that I'd use to judge anything since they were dead for everything, or at least since they announced Austin wouldn't be there.
WINNERS: La Resistance at 3:50.
STAR RATING: * -- Fine TV action.
-Terri knocked on Kane's locker room door. He didn't answer, so she entered. It was actually a storage room. She couldn't find him anywhere. "Where's Kane? Where did Kane go?" asked Ross.
[commercial break]
7 -- TRIPLE H vs. ROB VAN DAM - WWE Title match
Triple H dominated the first minute or so, then RVD took control. RVD flipped onto Hunter at ringside. Both went down. That prompted Flair to come to ringside (neither Flair nor Orton came to ringside for Hunter). Then they cut to commercial around 3:30.
[commercial break]
They returned from break at 10:54 p.m. and Ross said they had finished all commercial breaks. RVD was on offense in the ring when they returned. He followed Hunter to ringside. Flair got in RVD's way. Back in the ring, Hunter escaped a bodyslam attempt by RVD and then nailed RVD between the legs on his hamstring. As Hunter distracted the ref, Flair yanked RVD's leg around the ringpost. Flair then did his strut at ringside. Hunter continued to work over RVD's leg in the ring. Ross pointed out the chop block is illegal in the NFL, but legal in WWE. They went to several minutes of not-exactly-edge-of-your-seat leglocks by Hunter. It wasn't a bad house show or PPV match, but as a TV match with no Hunter promo headed into it to give it any credibility, and Kane's situation as the central issue of interested headed into the title match, it wasn't exactly ideal use of TV time. They could have cut the leglock time in half and been better off. RVD at 14:00 nailed Hunter with a spin kick to show the first signs of life. RVD nailed Hunter with a split-legged moonsault at 15:40. Flair distracted RVD for a moment, but RVD eventually catapulted Hunter into the corner turnbuckle. The crowd got excited as RVD hit the Five-Star Frogsplash. Ross said that meant a title change. RVD went for the cover. Flair entered the ring and hit RVD from behind prompting a DQ. Bischoff said this night is supposed to be his "defining moment," so he restarted the match with no-DQ rules. Flair didn't look happy. Hunter grabbed a chair at ringside, but RVD kicked it into his face. RVD then sidekicked a charging Flair and threw him into the crowd. As RVD tried to drag Hunter back into the ring, Bischoff told him it was no DQ falls count anywhere, so he could pin him right there. Orton ran out and attacked RVD to stop the pin attempt. RVD fended off Orton, then rammed Flair into the ringpost, then chased Hunter up onto the stage. Hunter caught RVD with a Pedigree attempt, but RVD backdropped out of it. RVD hit Rolling Thunder for a two count. The crowd popped big for the near fall. The three heels then attacked RVD leading to a DDT and pin by Hunter.
WINNER: Hunter at 19:34.
STAR RATING: *** -- Good TV match.
-After the match Kane came out and chokeslammed Bischoff off the stage to the floor below. Kane was bald-headed. They zoomed in on his face and the close-up made him look a lot uglier than he really is.
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