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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
JUNE 16, 2008
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-After Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show, John Cena walked out at the start of the show and did his WWE rah rah speech that's got that "Teacher's Pet" vibe as if he's kissing up to the boss. He said there are moments WWE creates unforgettable moments that are passed down from father to son and when you remember where you were the moment it happened. He brought up Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, or Shawn Michaels's boyhood dream finally coming true, or the first time "Stone Cold" Steve Austin whipped somebody's ass. He said fans are excited about not just the money giveaway tonight, but also the "moment" in two weeks when at Night of Champions one man standing when he stands with his arm in the air and says, "The Champ is..." Triple H's music then interrupted. One thing about those moments - nobody had to tell people ahead of time it was going to be one; it just was. In this case, Cena winning at a non-traditional PPV, should he win, is hardly one of those "moments in time." The fact that they have to say it is pretty much defines it as not being one.

Anyway, Triple H entered the ring and complained that Cena cost him his match against Jeff Hardy. He said he is giving him one warning, but he won't give a second warning - "You get involved in my business and this is gonna get real personal, real fast." Cena pointed out at that Triple H knocked him off the announce table last week. Triple H said nobody asked him to stand up and act like a prima donna like that. He said he's wrestled him and he's so uncoordinated he probably fell himself. Cena said if he's such a big clumsy animal, how did he make him tap last time. Triple H said that was two years ago. Cena said not a damn thing has changed. He said then and now it is the top attraction in the business. Triple H said what has changed is that he's the champion. Cena said he may have the belt, but he walks around on his high horse and calls himself the measuring stick. He said he has the belt, but until he beats him, he's nothing.

Triple H said he knows Cena hates to disappoint his fans, but he shouldn't worry because his loss will happen past most of his fans' bedtimes. Good line. Hunter said after Cena loses, one of his fans can give him a foam belt and Cena can carry that around to ease the pain. Cena shoved Triple H and yanked off his shirt. Triple H held out his belt and dropped it, then took off his shirt. He walked right over the belt. Belts shouldn't be dropped and walked on. The great champions over the years treated the belt like a delicate treasure worthy of respect and reverence.

-Vince McMahon's music interrupted. He walked out onto the stage and said it was time to give away more money. The password is "Watch Raw and Win." McMahon then asked Cena if he was going to win his match tonight. He booked him against Umaga. Oh, just like Edge vs. Batista at Night of Champions, another fresh match fans have been waiting years to see. McMahon made it a street fight, which means nothing anymore since almost every match it seems these days is a gimmick match. Triple H wished Cena luck and told him not to get hurt.

1 -- JOHN CENA vs. UMAGA

Umaga beat up Cena early and even scored an early two count. The match spilled to the floor and they cut to an early break.

[Commercial Break]

Umaga gave Cena a nasty looking Samoan Drop on the steel ramp. Cena made a comeback after avoiding a butt crash against the ringpost at ringside. At 8:00 he went for an FU, but couldn't lift him and he actually fell straight down forward and Umaga landing on him. Umaga threw Cena into the ringside steps. When Umaga lifted the steps and aimed them at Cena, he ducked and hit a quick FU for a win.

WINNER: Cena in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Solid brawl. Too bad it just feels like a rerun. Anything with Umaga, given his utter lack of any character development, feels like competent filler, but largely inconsequential.

-Vince McMahon tried to dial a winner. He had some technical problem, of course. The second try resulted with several rings. The caller was very excited - Denzel Parker form Virginia Beach, Va. - and he knew the password. Vince asked him what his favorite animal is. He said a dog. Vince asked the guy to bark like a dog. He did, although it sounded terrible on the phone. The guy freaked out in the background as Vince introduced the Bikini Beach Blowout. Eve Torres walked to the ring as they cut to a break.

-A plug aired for the WWE Draft.

[Commercial Break]

-They cut to a clip of last Monday's skit with Mae Young and Charlie Haas. Haas then stood mid-ring with the rest of the WWE Divas. He said that incident last week wasn't funny, then he introduced the Bikini Blowout with a lot of enthusiasm - more than he's ever shown. Layla, Melina, Maryse, Maria, Jillian Hall, and Torres all took off their robes and revealed bikinis, then danced. Maria was declared the winner. The heels frowned and smirked jealously.

-McMahon called another person. Michael Leyva of Monroe, N.C. answered. He knew the password. Vince asked him who is the most handsome, well-known individual who was ever born in North Carolina. The guy said Ric Flair. (He wasn't even born in N.C.) Vince said he loses on that one, but he still wins 100K. The guy began talking, but that absolutely as horrendous as always diva theme music played over him as the divas danced.

[Commercial Break]

-Chris Jericho chatted with the make-up lady backstage about what he did to Shawn Michaels last week. Ross threw to a video package on Jericho's all-out turn on Michaels last week. They went to Ross and Lawler at ringside afterward. They talked about concern for Michaels's eyesight and said Jericho will give his side of the story later.

-McMahon was back on the stage. He brought out Hacksaw Duggan to help him. Duggan walked out in a tux. He dialed the number. An answering machine picked up. McMahon smiled and said: "This is so good. I've been waiting for this one. Sorry you could have won 50,000 dollars, pall, but you blew it, you weren't watching Raw, you weren't there by the phone, so you lose this one." He was probably in the bathroom. That's one expensive piss. Gabe brought out another number. They dialed another number and the Degeneration X music played for about 12 seconds. Jesse Jordan or Bethel, Ohio answered and said, "Raw is the only place to be on Monday!" He knew the password. He told him he won $50,000. Vince asked the called to give them his best Duggan impersonation.

-Jeff Hardy came out to a full ring intro. They showed a clip of Hardy diving onto both Cena and Triple H last week.

[Commercial Break]

-Did You Know? - In 2007, WWE held over 300 live events including 75 international events.

2 -- JEFF HARDY vs. CARLITO

At the 55 minute mark, the second match begins. Lawler asked if Ross had been lobbying him to be drafted to ECW to work with Adamle. Ross said, "No sir." He didn't play any more into it. At 4:00 Carlito hung Hardy upside down in the corner and charged at him. Hardy avoided it, but Carlito stopped short of crotching the ringpost. He acted relieved, only to have Hardy flip onto him off the top rope for a near fall. Hardy face planted Carlito, then climbed to the top rope. Carlito got up and set up Hardy for a Back Stabber. Hardy reversed him into a Twist of Fate followed by a Swanton for the win.

WINNER: Hardy in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- There's such a short list of wrestlers Vince McMahon believes in at this point, and Carlito is not one of them.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

-Vince called Kyle Mathisen in Hoyt Lakes, Minn. Vince asked the caller to sing him a few verses of the National Anthem. Kyle sang poorly. Vince said he thought Jillian sang poorly. The caller asked if he could ask Vince a question. Vince said, "Wait, now you're asking me questions?" Vince doesn't like people breaking from his script. He felt uncomfortable, but the caller slipped in that Night of the Champions is on his birthday. Vince said he's a winner all around, then cut him off and Chris Jericho's music played.

-Chris Jericho made a full ring intro. He went to a clip of what he did to Michaels last week. He said they were booing again, and they are cheering a backstabbing hypocrite. He said he came to WWE to save them, but he realizes they don't want to be saved. He says he's there now to save himself from all of them. He said he hasn't changed, he's still a hero and idol to millions and can look at his face with a clear conscience. He said they've all changed by becoming morally corrupt. He said he doesn't want them to cheer for him anymore. He called for Michaels to come out and answer for his actions. There was no response. Then "Whoo!" blared out and Ric Flair stepped onto the stage. Ross said this was an incredible surprise. Eric Bischoff always went back to Flair when ratings sagged because he was out of fresh ideas or feeling vulnerable. Some things never change.

[Commercial Break]

-The ECW commercial hyped that Kane and Big Show would face obstacles on their way to Night of the Champions.

-Ross said there was a three minute, thirty second standing ovation for Flair while they were away. Jericho and Flair faced off 18 inches apart. Flair yanked the mic away from Jericho and said he knows damn well Michaels isn't here. He said he's retired and can't wrestle him, but he can fight him. He called him out to the parking lot. He yanked off his jacket and rolled out of the ring and headed to the back. Jericho followed all the way to the exit doors. Flair walked out, but Jericho didn't make it all the way out. Instead, Triple H backed him right back into the backstage area. He asked Jericho if he hasn't caused enough problems lately. Jericho said it's not his business. Triple H said every since he came back to "save us," he's been waiting to make him his business. Jericho stared at him a few seconds, then walked away. All right! An actual hint of a fresh feud on Raw.

[Commercial Break]

-Triple H and Flair were still chatting backstage. Flair said he's mad about what happened to Michaels. Vince walked up to Flair, shook his hand, said he looks great, and then said he's no longer competing in the ring. He said he can't have him interrupting his show because he's giving away money. He said he's a sensational ambassador and it's great to see him, but he had to ask security to escort him out of the building. Flair looked shocked. Hunter hugged him. Vince asked Flair to give him a ring some time. Hunter asked Vince, "What's your problem?" Vince said he doesn't have a problem, but Hunter does. He said he is going to face Jericho one-on-one tonight. Oh my god. They finally have a fresh match that could have been built into something, but instead they're giving it away with zero notice and very little build-up. Just amazingly. So inefficient and a good example of this short-term thinking that is so self-destructive in the long-run.

3 -- CODY RHODES & HARDCORE HOLLY vs. CRYME TYME

Match no. 3 begins nearly an hour and a half into the show. Ted DiBiase (Jr.) walked out at the start of the match. J.T.G. was distracted and Holly schoolboyed him for a quick win.

WINNERS: Cody & Holly in 0:05. That was just a waste of time. And air travel expense. And hotel expense.

-Vince called Becky Carmon of Advance, N.C. Another N.C. resident. What's going on? She knew the password. He said in honor of Flair being a 16-time World Champion, she has won $16. She chuckled. Good sport.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- PAUL BURCHILL & KATIE LEA vs. MR. KENNEDY & MICKIE JAMES

After Kennedy beat up Burchill, the women tagged in and rolled around on the mat. When Burchill was going to interfere, Kennedy tackled him off the ring apron to the floor. Lea ducked Mickie's dive and gave her a sidebreaker with a yank on the hair for a sudden win.

WINNERS: Burchill & Lea in 3:00. These super-short matches for everyone except a few top wrestlers is just getting old. It says to everyone that these people don't matter.

-Vince McMahon called Alana Ayres of Westmont, Ill. She knew the password. She declared, "I love you so much!" She was weeping. "You have no idea what you're changing in my life." He seemed oddly cold and completely indifferent to her emotions and robotically went to a question about himself. He asked her who the most handsome man is she's ever seen. She said he is. He told her $174,984 was her prize.

[Commercial Break]

-Back to Vince McMahon. He called Peter Mauer of Bloomville, N.Y. He gave him $75,000. He said, "Holy Mackerel. Thank you very much." Ross told Peter to remember to pay his taxes. Ross and Lawler moved into a plug of the Night of Champions line-up. Then they got really excited and announced that someone was about to win 300 grand.

-Backstage Cena walked up to Triple H and wished him luck and added don't get hurt.

[Commercial Break]

-Back to Vince on the stage. He announced he's going to give another million away next week. He plugged the WWE Draft. Lawler said he's going to give his notice because he wants a chance to win. Vince called Frank Turbeville or Haddon Township, N.J. Frank said, "I love you, Vince!" He told him he just won 300K. Frank let out a huge "Whooo!"

5 -- TRIPLE H vs. CHRIS JERICHO -- Champion vs. Champion

The match began at 58 minutes into the second hour. Jericho pounded on Hunter in the corner early. The ref pulled Jericho back and scolded him for not breaking earlier. Hunter side-stepped a charging Jericho, who flew into the ringpost. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Jericho took over with an enzuigiri. He threw Triple H into the ringside steps, slapped his head, and threw him back into the ring. Hunter fired back with a clothesline at 7:00. Jericho came back with a flurry of offense by escaping a Pedigree, kneeing Hunter, and hitting a running bulldog. He went for a Lionsault, but Triple H moved. Hunter went for a Pedigree again. Jericho grabbed onto his leg to block it, then dropped down, then backdropped out of it. Jericho dove at Hunter on the ring apron, but Hunter side-stepped him. They fought onto the floor. Lance Cade then jumped Hunter from behind. Remember him? He joined Jericho in double-teaming Triple H. Cena ran out and made the save by clearing the ring of both heels. Triple H then tackled Cena and they rolled around on the mat. The heel duo returned to the ring. Cade centered on Cena and Jericho KO'd Hunter with his Code Breaker finisher. Ross asked, "What in the hell is the deal with Lance Cade?" Did Cade just jump JBL in the heel hierarchy this week? Good to see someone new in the mix. Cade has a lot to prove, but it's worth a shot.

WINNER: Triple H via DQ in 10:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Basic solid stuff. I still disagree with giving that away on TV with no notice, though.

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