By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S ECW ON SCI FI REPORT
MAY 13, 2008
AIRED ON SCI-FI

-The show opened with footage of Colin Delaney walking backstage. What were the Vegas odds one year ago of that being the opening scene on a WWE program? Clips aired of Colin winning his ECW contract last week by defeating Armando Estrada.

-They went backstage to Estrada telling Delaney, "Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Any idea at all? The odds of you beating me were astronomical." He said if he thought he was a target before, he'll see to it he's an even bigger one now. He presented him with the contract on a clipboard to sign. Delaney signed it with a big smile on his face. He said to prove his point, as his first match as an official roster member, he can face Mike Knox. Delaney took a deep breath, but looked to have a sense of growing confidence. Yes, a WWE program in prime time is being built in part around Knox vs. Delaney.

-The ECW opening aired. Mike Adamle and Tazz introduced the show.

1 -- C.M. PUNK vs. THE MIZ

Adamle plugged that Punk & Kane would challenge Miz & Morrison at Judgment Day. Adamle said regarding Miz, "This guy wakes up every single morning, looks in the mirror, and says, 'I like me.'" Tazz asked how he knew that. Good question. Adamle said Miz told him. The crowd chanted for Punk at the start. Adamle said, "Punk doing a good job riding The Miz." Adamle still has these awkward stretches of saying nothing. You wonder if he's said something stupid and he's been post-produced out of it. Adamle said, "If the beating rule was in effect, they'd call this one of." Tazz asked for an explanation. Adamle said it's like the ten-run rule in little league. Just to set the stage, at the time Adamle felt the match should be called of, Miz had been in control of the match for a whole two minutes and most of it consisted of three variations of chinlocks. That's another case of Adamle just saying something completely inapplicable to the situation in order to attempt to coin a phrase or get in a "clever" one-liner. He's just so disconnected from context and what's important or not or what constitutes momentum or a sustained beating. Punk hit Miz with a running knee in the corner in his comeback at 3:00. When Punk went for his GTS at 4:00, Miz escaped and hit his Reality Check for the win.

WINNER: Miz in 4:00.

STAR RATING: *

-They showed Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, and Cherry heading toward the entrance tunnel. Adamle said, "I don't know about you, Tazz, but I've got Diva Fevah!" What an utter total dork he continues to be. He's just sitting there waiting for his next chance to try to be funny rather than convey and enhance the storylines.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- CHERRY & KELLY KELLY & MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. NATALYA & LEYLA & VICTORIA

Adamle said they could dim the lights and it'd still be bright in the arena because of the smiles of the Divas. Tazz said Adamle looked mesmerized. Adamle said he was. Tazz said he usually is. Adamle laughed and said, "Thank you, pal." Cherry rolled up Victoria with a schoolgirl for the win.

WINNERS: Kelly & Cherry & McCool in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-Lena Yada interviewed Shelton Benjamin. He said Kofi Kingston is the luckiest man alive, saying he walks around with a horseshoe stuck where the sun don't shine and he's gonna pull it out. Yuck. Kofi walked up to him and said he wanted to be the first one to wish him luck. When Shelton shoved him, Kofi tackled him into the garage door backstage.

[Commercial Break]

-The showed Adamle and Tazz at ringside. Adamle turned to Tazz and said exactly the following: "Tazz, I know you had a chance to watch Raw last night. Were you surprised by the, how the, the end of, the frenetic ending to the match between, actually John Cena... and... and." Tazz saved him and said, "Well, hold on Mike, what I'm thinking is last night on Raw just a sample of what John Cena's going to bring to JBL at Judgment Day." Adamle is just a mess. They went into a preview of Judgment Day and a recap of last night's Raw main event.

-They showed Delaney taping his wrists backstage. Then they went to a video recap of Delaney's journey so far.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- COLIN DELANEY vs. MIKE KNOX

Colin got his own entrance music now that he's a contracted roster member. Tazz said the fans were cheering and standing for Colin. Adamle said, "Why not?" After a "Rambo" movie promo, Adamle asked, "I wonder if Rambo has ever run into Mike Knox?" Why would he wonder that? Seriously, why would he wonder that, and if he did, why would be express it out loud? How does that enhance anything about Knox or the story of the program? Knox squashed Delaney.

WINNER: Knox in 1:00.

-Estrada walked out and congratulated Delaney for his first match as an official ECW roster member. He said now he has to face the newest member of the ECW roster, "Me!" He kicked him and said as G.M., he just signed himself to a very lucrative salary. "My contract had a few more zeros on it than yours."

4 -- ARMANDO ESTRADA vs. COLIN DELANEY

WINNER: Estrada in 1:00 after an inverted suplex. Is Vickie Guerrero going to become an active Diva competitor next?

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial hyped Shelton vs. Kofi as a feature match on ECW next week.

4 -- JOHN MORRISON vs. KANE

Tazz plugged "The Dirt Sheet" on WWE's website. When Miz interfered repeatedly, Punk came to ringside to even the sides. Adamle used the term "wrestler" and quickly added "Superstar," realizing he used a naughty word ("wrestler").

[Commercial Break]

Morrison was in control after the break. He settled into a leglock on the mat at 10:00. He yanked Kane's left leg into the ringpost. Adamle said Kane is like he one-legged man in "The Fugitive." Kane came back with a sideslam at 14:00 for a two count, then climbed to the top rope and came off with a flying clothesline. Miz jumped on the ring apron for a distraction. Punk yanked him to the floor, then whipped him into the ringside steps. Morrison, meanwhile, hit Kane with the tag belt followed by a springboard roundhouse kick to Kane's face for the win. Adamle said, "Can you believe it?!" Let's see. A former ECW Champion beat a current ECW Champion in a non-title match using a weapon and a distraction? Unbelievable! Afterward, Miz and Morrison beat up Punk and then beat down Kane.

WINNER: Morrison in 14:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- This was booked more sensibly in terms of hyping a PPV match than anything on Raw.

Send us your 0-10 score and thoughts on the show: pwtorch@gmail.com.

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