By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
April 22, 2008 - Year 2, Week 47 (Week 99 overall)
Taped in Atlantic City, N.J.
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

The show started with Mike Adamle saying lady luck will take a backseat to athleticism and wrestling tonight. There was literally zero emotion behind that opening line. He swung it over to The Tazz, who talked about Matt Striker hosting a school session with Mick Foley tonight. Adamle said spring break is over. Yeah, like a month ago.

In-ring: Shelton Benjamin came to the ring while they showed a video of Kofi Kingston beating him on ECW last week. Kofi Kingston then came out for a re-match. Adamle said Kofi is unbeaten in...the ECW. Shelton took the mic pre-match and said Kofi's luck is about to run out tonight. Kofi wasn't paying attention, then the bell sounded.

1 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN

Kofi won the match last week, and Adamle commented that Shelton is dominating the match just like last week. Wade was completely right about Adamle sounding like a video game announcer repeating canned lines. Crowd was pretty quiet during the early going, and Adamle leaving plenty of dead air created a library-like feel to this. Kofi then came off the top with a leaping frog splash on a standing Shelton, who rolled through into a pin attempt for a nearfall. Suddenly, Kofi with the Jamaican buzzsaw kick for the pin and the win. Adamle called it an upset despite Kofi winning last week. Afterward, Shelton was pretty upset. Well, at least he put on a good mad face.

WINNER: Kofi Kingston in 5:00. Match didn't work live or on the TV broadcast. Shelton didn't exactly get the crowd involved with his pre-match promo, and the TV call featured more silence than intelligent thought. (1/2*)

[Commercial Break]

Smackdown promo: They plugged Matt Hardy making his first U.S. Title defense, and Miz & Morrison defending the WWE Tag Titles.

Announcers: Adamle started singing about The Boardwalk. I'll take Murdoch, thank you very much. Tazz, with chuckle, said that sounded pretty sharp.

In-ring: Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney came to the ring. Mike Knox spun out of the backstage area out on stage. Adamle said he's been told to stay away from Knox backstage. He said Knox is focused on his... ringsmanship. Now Adamle is just making up new words.

2 -- TOMMY DREAMER (w/Colin Delaney) vs. MIKE KNOX

Knox with a hard clothesline on Dreamer in the early going. He then reached through the ropes and slapped Colin hard across the head. On the floor, Knox sent Dreamer head-first into the ringpost, then brought him back into the ring. Adamle repeated himself from the opening match asking whether the babyface has any way of getting back in this match. Knox then hit the spin-out facebuster for the pin and the win. Adamle said Colin being ringside turned out to be a detriment to Dreamer. How? Colin didn't even do anything.

WINNER: Knox in 3:00. The bell sounded. A match happened. The bell sounded. Adamle isn't getting any better. End story. (1/2*)

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

Striker Classroom: Matt Striker was in the ring to teach us a lesson. Striker said they're getting used to the voice of Mike Adamle on ECW. The camera cut to a tight shot of Adamle, who had a twinkle in his eye. Striker then brought out the new color commentator on Smackdown, Mick Foley. Foley said it's great to be here, and Striker welcomed him to the classroom. Striker had a lesson for Foley. (1) We are all privy to the merits of Mick Foley as an in-ring performer. Foley cut him off and reminded him of the N.Y. Times bestsellers. Striker said that's fine, and Foley is perfect for the job. Well, if it was a radio gig instead of TV.

Striker poked fun of Foley's gap tooth and said it's obvious Foley isn't going to a physical fitness facility anytime soon. Foley said this might be an absurd statement, but he likes the way he looks because it means he sacrificed a great deal to entertain the fans. Foley said it's quite the opposite of Striker, who has never entertained anyone. Striker said Foley looks like he just rolled out of his dorm room after smoking The Pot. I have no idea where any of this going. Oh, here it goes, Foley with the cheap pop about his testicular fortitude.

Striker said Smackdown has some of the finest technical wrestlers on the planet, so he asked Foley if he knows the difference between an armbar and an armoire. Foley then started reaching into his pants and Striker told him it's a family show. He then yanked out Mr. Socko to a pop that was like " we've seen this 1,000 times, but we'll give a polite applause because this must mean the segment is over". Foley distracted Striker, then Foley stuffed Socko down Striker's throat. Foley declared that class is dismissed.

Foley tossed the sock to Adamle, who then had it playfully stuffed down his throat by Tazz. Adamle said a lot of people would like to see him keep that sock in his mouth. Tazz laughed it off, then quietly agreed under his breath. They plugged Punk vs. Palumbo next. Adamle's lead-in to the commercial sounded unbelievably amateurish, like a bad infomercial. You just had to hear how rehearsed it was.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: C.M. Punk came to the ring with MITB briefcase in hand. Adamle repeated the old commercial line about not leaving home without it. Chuck Palumbo rode out to the ring on his chopper, then he walked into the ring and pie-faced Punk. Adamle said Palumbo went right to work on Punk's face.

3 -- C.M. PUNK vs. CHUCK PALUMBO

Adamle said he expects this to be a very competitive match. Well, I sure hope every match is a competitive match, otherwise why are they even in the ring competing for a victory? Palumbo was the aggressor early on. He then started pounding on Punk in the corner with repeated right hand blows to the head. The ref had enough and DQ'ed Palumbo. Tony Chimel announced Punk as the winner, and Adamle called it an unpopular decision in Atlantic City. I don't think Adamle had any idea what just happened. Punk tried to come back against Palumbo after the decision, but Palumbo beat him down some more.

WINNER: Punk via DQ in 4:00. What in the world was that? C.M. Punk had tremendous momentum coming off the great match against Edge on Smackdown, and they stick him in this match to have him shown up by the charisma-challenged Palumbo. I currently have no idea what WWE is doing with this show. (1/2*)

Announcers: Tazz and Adamle talked about the end of Raw last night. Adamle called it more than controversial. What does that mean? It's either controversial or not controversial. This led to the Raw Rebound focusing on Regal and Kennedy's confrontation, then Regal pulling the plug on the main event. After the Rebound aired, Tazz plugged the reader feedback on WWE's website.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Adamle plugged episode 100 of ECW next week. He said Colin Delaney's ECW contract will be on the line, and Knox vs. Dreamer in an Extreme Rules match.

In-ring: Chavo Guerrero came to the ring with Bam Neely, who was not dressed to wrestle despite him being part of the upcoming handicap match. Adamle started to talk about the match, then suddenly he went silent mid-sentence. There were muffled noises coming from the headset, then Mike Adamle left the broadcast position. Tazz stood up and asked where he was going. The camera showed Adamle stepping through the barricade and leaving through the stands. Tazz then hyped the main event, the bell sounded, and he put down his headset to leave through the barricade apparently to follow out Adamle.

4 -- ECW champion KANE vs. CHAVO GUERRERO & BAM NEELY -- handicap match

All silence here except for crowd noise. Kane knocked Chavo to the outside, then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with neither of the broadcasters back at the broadcast position. Chavo tagged out to Bam, who slowly approached Kane before taking a boot to the gut. Chavo tagged in, then Bam dropped Kane knee-first across the ring apron. The heels began working over Kane's knee. Still no announcers.

[Q5 -- over-run]

Kane made his comeback on Bam with trademark uppercuts, then he went for a chokeslam on Chavo, but Bam took his knee out. Chavo came off the top with a frog splash in the corner to make the cover for the win. The show ended with Chavo and Bam shouting victory to the crowd.

WINNERS: Chavo & Bam Neely in 10:00. It was almost refreshing to hear silence, but the match was of no redeeming value. Could have used Tazz to at least explain the significance of what was happening. Heck, like I wrote last week, put Tony Chimel on the headsets and let him commentate. The story coming out of this, of course, is Adamle walking off the set. Stay tuned on this one. (1/2*)

Video package: They plugged a big party for episode 100 next week. If they bring back The Zombie and book him a 30-minute match against Kevin Thorn, it would instantly be better than this show.

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