By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

ECW TV Report
January 8, 2008 in Wilkes-Barre, Pa.
Year 2, Week 31 (Week 83 overall) on Sci-Fi

They opened with a plug for Layla vs. Kelly Kelly in a...wait for it...dance off!!! Oh, and Chavo gets a second chance against ECW champion C.M. Punk tonight. But, we start with the 15-minute iron man match for the tag titles.

John Morrison came out first so they could plug his ring entrance. The Miz came out second. During the Sci-Fi plug seven minutes before the show, a lady of the night had a sign offering free lap dances for Miz. She may have been screaming near a house mic during his entrance. Yang and Moore then came out together for the match.

1 -- WWE tag team champions JOHN MORRISON & THE MIZ vs. JIMMY WANG YANG & SHANNON MOORE -- WWE Tag Title match -- 15-minute iron man match

Their countdown clock was about two seconds slower than my stopwatch, so we'll see how that goes. Shannon tried several attempts to score a quick pin on Morrison early on. Tazz with the early line of the night that it's good strategy, because a football team that scores first usually has the advantage. Whoever came up with that line must have missed Ohio St.'s last two title games. Yang took a hot tag at 2:30 and monkey flipped Morrison clear over to his stomach. Morrison came back with a roll up near the ropes, but Moore broke up the pin. Yang had a pin following a spin kick, but Miz had the ref distracted. When Yang tried to argue with the ref, Morrison popped right up and schoolboyed Yang for the first pin.

Miz & Morrison 1-0 at 3:45.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Morrison working over Yang on the mat. Yang fought out of the heel corner, then went for a moonsault, but Morrison crotched him. Morrison then hung Yang upside down so Miz could land some blows behind the ref's back. Morrison then went for a top rope back drop, but Yang elbowed out and nailed a moonsault press for the pin.

Yang & Moore 1-1 at 8:45.

There's no break in between falls, as Miz came right into the ring and went after Yang's left knee. Morrison tagged in when Yang put up a fight against the Miz, and he worked over the left knee as well. Yang escaped with a corkscrew kick, but Miz tagged in and slammed Yang's left knee into the ringpost.

[Q2]

With 4:00 remaining, Miz continued to work over the knee. Miz then hung Yang back-first across his knees, and Morrison hit a springboard elbow smash to Yang's chest for a nice double-team combo. Yang fought out of the heel corner with 2:30 left in the match and finally made the hot tag to Moore, who flew off the top with a splash. He cleaned house before landed a flip dive on Miz on the floor. But, Morrison shoved him into the guardrail. Yang then recovered and came off the top with a splash onto Morrison on the floor. Moore flung Miz back into the ring 1:30 left in the time. He stalked Miz and hit a fallaway neckbreaker for a close nearfall. Does Moore have a finishing move? He slammed Miz into the ringpost, then came off the top with a corkscrew moonsault for a nearfall at 14:10. Moore couldn't figure out how to get the final fall, so he tagged out to Yang. Yang slipped on a neckbreaker attempt, made a cover, but Morrison put Miz's foot on the bottom rope. Yang then nailed a leaping dropkick on Miz for another nearfall. Yang with a moonsault press that just did catch Miz in the head when Miz moved in the way to protect the fall. Yang couldn't make the cover because of his knee, though, and time expired, giving Miz & Morrison retention of the belts.

WINNERS: Draw at 15:00, Miz & Morrison retain the belts. Good story, but they were off on too many spots late in the match. Guys were out of position and had to quickly move in the way of highspots, instead of moving out of the way of spots if this were a real fight. (*1/4)

[Commercial Break]

They showed a recap video of poor Colin Delaney getting beat up by Big Daddy V last week.

In the ring was Colin Delaney doing a taped ribs gimmick as Tazz built up Colin's aspirations to become a WWE star. Tazz suggested they go to the video as Colin looked frightened. Technical difficulties, as they didn't have the footage ready. Tazz paused, then went back to asking Colin how he felt the match went. He said he wasn't able to keep the match as close as he would have liked. Colin squeaked out that it hurts pretty much everywhere. This is like Santino and Noble great moments in WWE comedy history. Tazz asked the fans to applaud him, but they booed. Geez. Tazz said he has good news tonight - Colin doesn't have to face an ECW superstar! Colin forced a crooked smile, said thank you, and started to leave. Tazz then said the bad news is that Colin has to face this Smackdown superstar. Mark Henry's music played and Colin was so hurt that he didn't even turn around to face the entrance ramp. This is great.

2 -- MARK HENRY vs. COLIN DELANEY

Colin tried a right hand, but Henry smashed him to the mat. Henry then threw Colin high into the air and Colin flailed his legs like a little kid jumping off the high dive. Henry then did the Bonzai splash in the corner. Henry finished him off with a rolling slam for the easy win.

WINNER: Henry in 1:00. Colin's gimmick is simply great. I'm giving him honorable mention for Rising Star in the year-end awards. His delivery is spot-on for creating the unintentional humor. (n/a)

[Q3]

A new Kofi Kingston promo aired. A man was on the phone doing some business deals on the beach, probably trying to move laundered money off shore. He stepped in a kid's sand castle, which didn't sit well with Kofi. He beat up the guy off camera as they showed random reactions. Kofi then hung up the man's cell phone as he was KO'ed on the sand.

[Commercial Break. The Royal Rumble video aired with people getting beat up in the Subway. Thank goodness the naked guy from the Seinfeld subway episode wasn't booked for this.]

Tazz and Cole plugged that wwe.com has the list of wrestlers who have qualified for the Rumble.

One of the diva search finalists, Lena, was in the ring to host to the diva dance-off to determine the hottest diva is in WWE. I don't remember Lena in the slightest. She introduced Kelly Kelly first. She came out in the shortest hot shorts ever conceived. Layla El came out next throwing her hips everywhere. Honestly, I think the curly hair is a better look than straight her. But, what do I know? Lena then sloooowllllly explained the ruuuules of the dance-off.

Layla went first and danced to the Timbaland track the divas were on. Ah, how Brooke is missed. Layla went nuts on the ropes and got booed for her efforts. There's a fine line between dancing and awkward movements. Kelly then danced to the same track and took off her top to reveal a bikini. She did more of a gyrating dance that got cheered. Lena brought them in and slooowlllly announced the winnnnnner as...oh wait. She forgot that there's one more diva to enter the competition. "Me!" The music hit again and Lena did her own dance. She just kind of walked around in circles. Tons of boos for that. I don't even know what that was. Lena then announced the winner tonight as herself. So, there's your heel turn for the new diva that no one even remembers. Styles tried to make an analogy to the New Hampshire primaries, but Tazz cut him off.

They showed C.M. Punk walking backstage.

A plug for WWEHD aired. ECW goes HD in two weeks on Sci-Fi. Ok, so maybe it's time to upgrade the cable box in the office to HD. As if Comcast isn't charging enough already.

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

The plug for Raw next week hinted at Jeff Hardy getting a title shot at Randy Orton. Just creative advertising.

Shelton Benjamin was backstage in a sharp blue suit...from the 1970s. He said it's time for him to get filthy and dirty. He's going to audition for the next Christina Aguilera video? No, he's going to get down there and find some gold. He said he's getting the motherload of a guaranteed championship title match by winning the Rumble match.

Chavo Guerrero came out first for the main event. ECW champion C.M. Punk then came out. He just walks a little more confidently these days ever since the program with the huge freaks ended.

3 -- ECW champion C.M. PUNK vs. CHAVO GUERRERO -- Chavo's 2nd chance to earn a title shot

Chavo scored with an arm drag in the opening seconds, then he took Punk down to the mat with an amateur hold. He nailed a European uppercut in the corner, but Punk quickly sent him to the outside. Chavo held his head as Punk stood tall in the ring looking down at him.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Chavo was in control after slingshotting Punk across the top rope during the break. Chavo was working on the ribs with an abdominal stretch, but Punk escaped, only to crash into Chavo's knees on an attempted elbow drop. Chavo went back to a surfboard stretch in center ring. Punk quickly countered into a roll-up, but Chavo popped right up and nailed a clothesline. He went back to the ribs with a gutbuster and kick to the stomach. Punk tried to use his legs to kick his way back into the ring, so Chavo re-focused his attack on Punk's legs. Nice.

[Q5 -- over-run]

At 10:00, Punk suddenly countered a leg vice into step one of a Boston Crab before catapulting Chavo over the ropes to the floor. Punk then flew through the ropes with a suicide dive on the entrance ramp. Back in the ring, Punk hit a springboard clothesline. Crowd was pretty quiet here. Punk then executed a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a nearfall. Chavo suddenly caught Punk in the corner with a bridge pin for a nearfall, but Punk sent him into the corner for the knee strike and running bulldog combo. Punk made the cover for a nearfall. He went for a double-underhook, but Chavo rammed him into the corner. He then went for the Three Amigos suplexes, but Punk slipped out of the third into G2S position. Chavo escaped, though, and nailed a gutwrench backbreaker for a close nearfall that finally popped the crowd. The crowd came to life with a "C-M-Punk" chant as Chavo measured Punk for more offense. He went to the corner and removed a turnbuckle pad. The ref finally got wind of it and turned his back to put the pad back on. Chavo then grabbed the ECW Title belt from ringside and re-entered the ring, but the ref caught him with the belt and called for an instant DQ. To add insult to injury, Punk picked up Chavo and gave him the Go 2 Sleep after the match. Punk held onto his belt and kissed it before playing to the crowd to close the show.

WINNER: Punk via DQ in 15:00. Fine match. They could have used a believable nearfall on Punk earlier in the match to get the crowd firmly involved in the action. The program is now Chavo lost by count-out last week, he lost by DQ this week, and he'll probably get a third chance next week or sometime soon down the road. (**1/2)

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