By Mike Roe, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Friday Night Smackdown review
July 21, 2006
Taped in Corpus Christi, Texas on July 18, 2006
Aired on UPN
Report by Mike Roe, PWTorch.com contributor

Quick Links

* Raw Is Trivial
* Show rating
* Newsworthy Countdown

Hey kids, it's time for the last Smackdown before the Great American Bash! This has been an eventful week, with Mark Henry getting injured at Saturday Night's Main Event, plus more late breaking news on this weekend's pay-per-view that we'll get to later in the report. Right now though, time for my boy Seth on the trivia turntables!

***

Raw Is Trivial with the "Supreme" Seth Berger!

The fallout begins. We sort out the SummerSlam fiesta on the road to the 2nd or 3rd biggest PPV of the year. (I know the Great American Bash is the next big show. If more than 3 people are excited, they actually have a match on the PPV. If Khali can get booked, there's hope for us.)

United Center, SummerSlam 1994. Razor Ramon defeated Diesel to win the Intercontinental championship. Kinda anti-climatic, as the previous evening at a house show, "Big Daddy Cool" and Shawn Michaels won the Tag Team titles from the Headshrinkers. But that's not important right now. Tonight, we focus on Razor's second. Yes, he had someone watch his back. A legend in the world of professional sports. Question for this week - Who watched Razor Ramon's back at SummerSlam 1994? I'll be back in a little while. But now, more SmackDown goodness!

***

*** Teddy Long cold opened the show after the Power Is Back intro, letting us know that Mark Henry has been injured. On Tuesday, he underwent knee surgery. Long explained that, this Sunday, he was supposed to face Batista in a number one contender's match, but Henry will be unable to compete. Long said that he was about to officially name Batista... when what should happen but for Long to be interrupted by Mr. Kennedy's music! Kennedy came down to the ring and talked with Long a bit without a microphone. He tried to grab Long's mic, but Long jerked it back. So, Kennedy reached up and his mic dropped from the rafters! That was awesome. Kenedy said that Batista may be a former world champion, but he's not the one everyone's talking about. (I don't think people are talking about much on Smackdown these days other than JBL's commentary and all of the main eventers it has lost.) Kennedy said that everyone has been talking about Kennedy, which is why he is challenging Batista to a match at the Great American Bash! Kennedy said that, when it's all said and done, the announcer will "cry out to the heavens, the winner of the match, Misterrrrrrr Kennedyyyyy!" This was actually Kennedy's best announcing since his return from injury. Batista's music of course hit next.

Batista walked down to the ring in a sweet pinstripe suit, with a low cut white tank top underneath. Very fashionable. Batista paused as the crowd engaged in a loud Batista chant. Batista finally got on the mic and told "Teddy" that he'd like him to book that match. Batista said it was like he said last week: He's got six months of hatred and anger, and since Mark Henry "hurt his knee" (which Batista put in air quotes!), now he's got no one to take it out on. Batista thinks that Mr. Kennedy will do just fine. Kennedy acted a bit intimidated, but then tried to play it off and extended his hand for a handshake. In a nice touch, Kennedy pointed to the hand to get Batista to take it. Then, like a grade schooler, when Batista reached his hand out, Kennedy pulled it back! (Too slow!) Long said that the match is on for this Sunday. Kennedy walked up the ramp and stared down Batista as Long's music played.

Tonight: Lashley in a rematch against Finlay for the United States Championship that Finlay won last week!

(Commercial break.)

Promo time: A promo aired for WWE's Wreckless Intent CD. I'm not quite sure what the point is of that pun. I guess they want you to think violence since they're making the beginning into "wreck," but since it's "wreckless," it seems like you're saying that the CD is pretty boring.

(1) Kid Kash (with Jamie Noble) defeated Brian Kendrick (with Paul London).

Pre-match analysis: It's the tag team champions that no one knows anything about, Paul London and Brian Kendrick! Gotta love the extensive character development they've given these guys! Out next were the Pit Bulls. Word is that the Gymini are returning from injury soon, so looks like things might be picking up in the Smackdown tag division a bit soon, with at least a few teams to feud. Hopefully they get at least one more tag team with some good workers. The Pit Bulls got in the ring and seemed to be threatening London and Kendrick with their chains. London was pissed and grabbed a steel chair from ringside, but referee Nick Patrick stopped him from using it.

Match analysis: Kash jumped Kendrick while he was looking at London going back to ringside with the chair. He delivered a headbutt and was going for a back body drop, but Kendrick leapfrogged over and they went back and forth avoiding one another. Kendrick hit a drop toehold. JBL said that the Pit Bulls were smash mouth wrestling, the tag team version of Fit Finlay. Kendrick hit a deep armdrag into an armbar. Kash headbutted Kendrick and swept Kendrick's leg. They avoided one another once again, with one sloppy spot where Kash took a bump too early. Kendrick covered briefly but didn't get a count. Kendrick hit another armdrag into an armbar. Cole framed the pay-per-view match this Sunday as the viscious, beat down team of the Pit Bulls versus the speed and high flying of London and Kendrick. Kash kneed Kendrick in the gut. Kendrick did a flip off the second rope over Kash in the corner, though he didn't quite stick the landing. Kash hit a low dropkick to Kendrick's knee and continued to work on the left knee.

JBL talked about how Kendrick may look like a male diva (Oh!), but he's also been a Zero-One champion in Japan. Kash dragged Kendrick into the corner, then slammed the knee over the apron. Kash then dropped an axe handle off the apron onto the knee. Kash stomped at the knee in the ring, then lifted Kendrick up by the leg to put pressure on the knee. Kendrick fought out, but Kash followed up with a clothesline and covered. Kendrick kicked out at two. JBL talked about how Kendrick was trained by Ricky Morton. Kash hit some stiff kicks to the back of the knee, then twisted the knee around the bottom rope. Kash yelled "Come on," but his cockiness allowed Kendrick to start fighting back. JBL talked about his experience in tag team wrestling, first in the New Blackjacks with Barry Windham (Of which he said it didn't work and he doesn't know why), then with Ron Simmons as the APA and became "the greatest tag team of all time," saying that with the right tag partner things just work, and said that's just what it's like with Kash and Noble. Kash raked the eyes, then raked the lower back. Kash kicked that knee again and then dragged him to the center of the ring as he set up a submission that was sort of like an inverted figure four. While the ref wasn't looking, Noble held Kash's arms from the outside to put more pressure on the hold. JBL plugged that he would be on Fox News's Cashin' In at 11:30 AM on Saturday. Kendrick made it to the ropes. Kash kicked Kendrick in the back, then stood on him in the corner until the ref called for the break. Kash talked trash to London on the outside, calling him a punk. He went back to Kendrick. Kendrick started fighting back, but Kash snapmared Kendrick into the ropes. Kash dropped down on Kendrick's leg in the ropes, then twisted the leg around the bottom rope.

Kendrick dodged Kash in the corner and hit a neckbreaker! Kendrick started delivering right hands. Kash kicked the injured leg again and went to follow up, but Kendrick hit a clothesline, a high elbow, another clothesline, and then kicked Kash's leg and followed with a big kick to the back! Noble got up on the apron for the distraction. Kash accidentally ran into Noble, knocking him off the apron. Kendrick rolled up Kash, but Kash kicked out at two and a half. Noble ran into the ring, but London cut him off. While the ref was sending London out, Noble ran in as Kendrick was going for Sliced Bread #2 and grabbed Kendrick to stop him from hitting it. Noble pushed Kendrick up, allowing Kash to hit the brainbuster, which JBL cited as a Dick Murdoch move. Kash hooked the leg and picked up the win.

Post-match analysis: Noble and Kash celebrated their win as London checked on his partner. Cole talked about the tag team champions being screwed two weeks in a row. They showed a replay from another angle of Noble interfering to help Kash pick up the win. Noble did the belt sign on the outside and held up Kash's arm.

Match grade: B-. A good little match while it lasted, but not much of a story behind this match. Pretty much the same thing you saw last week, and in pretty much every WWE tag feud ever. I guess that, with even Steven booking, they'll be keeping the titles this weekend.

*** Chavo Guerrero was backstage with Teddy Long. Long said it was good to see that Chavo had recovered from his injury and said he looked good and asked how he felt. Chavo held his back and said he's starting to feel better and that his back is feeling better. Long asked him if he felt like coming out of retirement. Chavo acted incredulous said he was retired when he got hurt, and now Long wants him to come out of retirement? Sharmell knocked and Long told her to come in. She said the king needs to talk to Long. Booker asked if Long saw that Rey Mysterio had the audacity last week to 619 the king! Booker said he wants him in the middle of that "royal ring." Long said that the match is this Sunday, and it's for the World Champion, and asked if he realizes how big that is. Booker said he's not worried about that, because winning that match is his destiny. He's talking about tonight, he's talking about respect! He wants to make Mysterio bow down, that peasant! Long said he'd think about it. Chavo asked what he meant, he'd think about it. Chavo said he's tired of people disrespecting Rey's name. Booker said that he needs to mind his own business. Chavo said that, Sunday, he's going to watch the king get dethroned, and that's gonna be his business! Booker said that Chavo needs to back up, because he will bring Chavo out of retirement, then put him right back into it! Long said this wasn't the time or the place. Long said he would take this under advisement and talk to Rey about it. Chavo said he didn't believe this and walked off.

*** Jillian was stretching backstage with Ashley as they got ready to take on Michelle and Kristal in a tag team match next! They also walked by a random ladder that was open backstage. Weird.

(Commercial break.)

*** Long was talking to Chavo and Rey in his office, and I just realized that the walls are blue. I'm so used to the off-white walls most weeks, that it's freaking me out a bit. Anyway, Long was telling Chavo to hold on, even though he knows he's upset. Long told Rey that Booker challenged him to a match tonight and asked if he was up to it. Chavo said Rey doesn't have to do this, because he's already facing Booker Sunday, and he just wants to soften Rey up tonight, so he should think about it. Rey didn't say anything, so Chavo tried to get his attention. Rey told Chavo and Long to tell Booker that it's on, tonight! Rey walked off. Chavo shook his head and went after Rey, telling him that it's a setup! JBL talked about how Rey has a lot of machismo, but he doesn't have a lick of brains, and King Booker is having Rey eat out of his hands.

(2) Jillian Hall & Ashley defeated Kristal & Michelle McCool when Ashley pinned Kristal.

Pre-match analysis: Michelle McCool's music hit and she came out with Kristal. Michelle's ring gear was black boots, black booty shorts with a red waistband, and a red sport/cutoff top that was like a tube top with straps that said "McCool" on the front. Kristal had on a pink top that was also cut to show as much skin as possible while covering what needed to be covered, along with black pants, with cutouts showing off her hips and butt. Oh, if only Kristal and Michelle could wrestle as good as they look. To be fair, Kristal isn't half bad in the ring. Cole talked about how, ever since Ashley came to Smackdown from Raw, Kristal seems extremely jealous of Ashley. They showed a clip from last week of Ashley telling Kristal to stop blaming her for her miserable life and that this pity party was about to stop. This led to a double cat fight, with Kristal going after Ashley and Jillian going after Michelle McCool to prevent Michelle from using her ruler on Ashley. There was also blurring of Ashley and Kristal's, uh, sensitive areas. Cole joked about how JBL was upset he couldn't do his makeup since their brawl took apart the makeup table, but JBL defended himself by saying he just used powder to take the shine off. Ashley and Jillian Hall came out to Jillian's music. Jillian had on a light green top with white pants, while Ashley had camo pants and a cutoff, super low cut black tank top. Ashley also has some of her hair died blue, at least the tips, in layers underneath her blonde hair. Cole talked about how these four will be in a four-way bra and panties match at the Great American Bash.

Match analysis: Jillian and Michelle started things off. Michelle got an early advantage, but Jillian hit a scoop slam, then did a pretty sweet move with a cartwheel into an elbow! She floated into the cover and hooked the leg, but Michelle kicked out. Michelle kicked Jillian in the gut and hit an uppercut, then tried choking her in the corner. Jillian countered and hit a handspring elbow to Michelle in the corner. Jillian grabbed Michelle's head and rubbed it in her cleavage! She followed this by doing a shoulder shimmy, shaking her boobs. Oh my! JBL spoke dismissively about how Jillian has to prove she's good looking and talented when she should have just come crawling back to JBL to get her job as his image consultant back. Jillian got a wristlock and tagged in Ashley. Ashley put on a side headlock. Kristal yelled "take her head off" in the most annoying voice ever. As the ref dealt with Michelle, Kristal pulled on Ashley's hair from the ropes. However, Ashley decked her. Ashley turned around and walked into a clothesline from Michelle.

Michelle delivered right hands and pulled at Ashley's hair, then tagged in Kristal. Michelle tossed Ashley down. Kristal stood on Ashley's hair while pulling her up by her arms. She broke, then did it again while doing the most annoying scream ever. Seriously, this was painful. Then Ashley did an even more painful scream and I was seriously tempted to mute my television. Ten times as bad as when Melina does her scream. Kristal yelled at Ashley to get up. Ashley tried to fight back, but Kristal kicked her in the gut. She yelled "Get over here," Mortal Kombat Scorpion style, and delivered a snap suplex. She floated into a cover, but Jillian ran in from behind and ripped off Kristal's top, revealing Kristal's black bra! Which horrified her, but may have actually been covering more than her pink top was, as you could see the bra sticking out on the bottom before. This allowed Ashley to do an awful, sloppy rollup (she even had to change positions before she could do it!) for the win.

Post-match analysis: Kristal shrieked and covered herself as she walked to the back with Michelle.

Match grade: D+. Jillian's great, Kristal's OK, but this was just a sloppy match. It makes me sad when I think about the state of the women's division. I'm going to blame this match's badness on Michelle, I guess. The girls at least looked good, so that's nice, I guess.

Tonight: Rey Mysterio versus Booker T! Giving away your pay-per-view main event on free TV, always a greeeeat idea!

(Commercial break.)

Great American Bash press conference: They aired a video package which included a rare sighting of my hero Josh Mathews as the MC! Whooooo! Fans were shown chanting for the Undertaker. Daivari stood next to Great Khali and hyped up the Punjabi Prison match. Great Khali standing there in jeans, but still no shirt, was very weird. He said something that I couldn't make any sense out of. Lashley said that, at the Great American Bash, they can bring Finlay, Regal, or that Little Bastard, it doesn't matter, the title's coming back to him! Josh introduced Batista. Batista did the same "hurt his knee" in quotes thing, and guaranteed that someone is getting their ass whipped at the Great Amerian Bash. Booker talked about how Sunday night is the dawning of a new era, as the World Championship shall come back to their royal kingdom! (Back? I guess he's counting WCW title reigns?) Rey Mysterio said that he's not going to bow down at the Great American Bash, but Booker will, because he'll just be one move away from the 619! (One move away from it? What the Hell does that mean?)

*** Great Khali was in the ring as we came back from break. Daivari said that this Sunday at the Great American Bash, Khali and Taker would step into a Punjabi Prison match, the most brutal encounter ever seen in the western world! Once Taker is locked into that prison with Khali, there will be no escape! Daivari said that, ironically, escape is the only way to win. (Well, at least we know a little about the match now.) Daivari said that, for Undertaker, the outcome of the Punjabi Prison at the Great American Bash will be just like this. He then cued a video package. We saw highlights from Judgment Day where Khali took Taker apart and absolutely dominated him, finishing him with the judo chop and then pinning him with a foot on Taker's chest! The video talked about Khali being the new phenom. It's weird, because they seemed to be trying to not remind everyone that Taker was already soundly defeated by Khali, but I guess that's out the window. They then showed Khali destroying Roddy Piper, the tag champs, the Mexicools, and Simon Dean. They played a clip of Khali talking in slow motion that may be one of the weirdest sounds I have ever heard. They talked about Daivari challenging Undertaker to the Punjabi Prison match. We then saw Khali destroying Funaki, Super Crazy, Tatanka, Rey Mysterio, and Gunner Scott, as well as more clips of the other guys we saw. We saw the bit they did with a coffin with smoke coming out of it symbolizing Taker's return. It's weird that they included this Taker stuff in the video since Daivari was the one who supposedly made the video. We then saw the bit with Khali no selling a lightning bolt from the Undertaker. We finished with Khali and Big Show giving Undertaker the double chokeslam on Saturday Night's Main Event. They apparently didn't show the Taker/Khali stuff from ECW on Tuesday because it was taped after Smackdown.

*** Finlay was walking through the backstage area on the way to come out for his match against Lashley, next!

(Commercial break.)

Promo time: One of these great Great American Bash commercials aired. It's set up as a storybook with video clips as the pictures to hype up the story of King Booker versus Rey Mysterio. It seemed original and different from most PPV hype videos, which are often quite lame, so a big thumbs up for this.

*** The Miz was backstage with former United States Champion Bobby Lashley. So wait, now Miz is not only the host of the diva search and the host of Smackdown, he's a backstage interviewer?! This is much, much worse than Josh Mathews, though I suppose it may be marginally better than Kristal. Miz said that Lashley's defeat at the hands of Finlay had to be a shock, and I'm already thinking Kristal was a better actor than Miz is. They showed a clip from last week, with Finlay going crazy with steel chairs and Lashley considering using a steel chair, but the ref stopped him, allowing the Little Bastard to slide Finlay a second shillelagh to take out Lashley while the ref's back was turned and pick up the victory! Miz said that, in a few moments, Lashley will have a rematch against Finlay for the United States title, and asked what his gameplan is. Lashley looked surly for a moment, then thoughtful, and finally said that Finlay's not the only one who loves to fight, before walking off. Cole talked about how he's apparently not in the mood to speak tonight, but he is in the mood to fight!

(3) Bobby Lashley defeated Finlay via disqualification in a United States Championship match.

Pre-match analysis: Finlay made his way down to the ring. I was hoping that he would do something like put a big clover over the front of the title belt. Lashley was out next. JBL put over Lashley's amateur and military background. JBL talked about how Finlay has Lashley's number, and Lashley can't figure out this "Celtic warrior." JBL bragged about how he defeated Lashley and gave him his first loss with the clothesline from Hell, while Cole noted that Finlay's interference helped that happen.

Match analysis: Lashley got the early advantage, backing Finlay into the corner. They focused on Lashley's look of anger after he backed off from the corner. Lashley shot in and got a go behind into a takedown. He beat on Lashley from behind, then went on top for a cover, but Finlay quickly got the shoulder up. Lashley put on a front facelock as Finlay made it to his feet, shoving him into the ropes leading to a break. Finlay went down to a knee and complained to the ref that there was something wrong with his elbow and asked the ref to check on it. JBL worried that it could be tendonitis! The ref checked on Finlay, but Finlay used the distraction to jump out of the corner at Lashley, knocking him down! Finlay hit a snapmare into a cover, but Lashley kicked out at one. The ref reprimanded Finlay for the fake injury. Finlay pointed to his head and talked trash to Lashley. They went into a Greco-Roman knuckle lock, an Lashley got the advantage, first going to Finlay's throat, then delivering shoulder thrusts in the corner. Lashley hit a snapmare and dropped an elbow, then delivered a snap suplex and hooked the leg, but Finlay kicked out as hitting a palm strike to the face. Lashley put on a headlock, but Finlay took him into the corner for the break. Lashley hopped back and forth, similar to the way Brock Lesnar used to. They teased a test of strength, but Finlay used it to kick Lashley in the gut, followed by an uppercut.

Finlay hit another uppercut, followed by a short arm clothesline. Finlay tried going for a cover, but couldn't get Lashley's shoulders down. Finlay put on a nerve hold and then stomped on Lashley's hand! They showed a replay of the clothesline. Finlay delivered an elbow to the shoulder, then covered, but Lashley kicked out at two. Finlay bounced Lashley's head off the turnbuckle and yelled at the ref to stop touching him. Finlay bounced Lashley's head off the turnbuckle again, then went to a side headlock. Lashley shoved off and delivered a shoulder block! JBL complained about Cole being xenophobic for not supporting Finlay as our United States Champion, while Cole pointed out the irony with JBL and Rey Mysterio. Finlay went to deliver a thumb to the eye, but Lashley avoided it. Lashley went for a straight right, but Finlay avoided it and the ref reprimanded Lashley. Finlay kicked Lashley in the gut and delivered a series of uppercuts. Finlay delivered a snapmare, then hit his running seated senton and locked on a chinlock. They showed a replay of the senton. Lashley made it to his feet, but Finlay threw him back to the mat. Finlay then tossed Lashley out of the ring. Finlay went to bounced Lashley's head off the apron, but Lashley blocked it and bounced Finlay's head off the apron! Lashley then drove Finlay's lower back into the apron! Lashley was climbing the steel steps, but Finlay pulled Lashley's leg out from under him, sending him back to the floor. Finlay rolled Lashley back into the ring. Finlay worked on Lashley's left knee that got injured when he fell off the steps, and JBL noted it was the same knee that Finlay attacked with the shillelagh a month ago when he was fighting King Booker. Finlay put on a knee lock and asked Lashley if he was going to give up. Finlay stood up and held onto that knee, but Lashley grabbed the ropes for the break. Finlay dropped a knee on Lashley's knee, then kicked it. Finlay called for Lashley to get up. Finaly grabbed Lashley's leg, but Lashley jumped up and delivered a front dropkick! Finlay picked the leg and tried putting on a submission, but Lashley grabbed Finlay in a rear naked choke! However, Finlay escaped and held onto the knee. Finlay dropped a knee on that knee again, then put it on the ropes and dropped down on it, which got a replay. Finlay was going after the leg in the corner, but Lashley kicked him off!

Lashley hit a clothesline followed by a scoop slam and covered, but Finlay kicked out at two. Lashley bounced Finlay's head off the turnbuckle, then beat on him with clubbing blows to the back of the head. Lashley pressed Finlay above his head, then dropped him on his knee! Regal came to ringside for the distraction. Lashley snapped him into the ring, but the ref pulled Lashley off. Lashley turned into a clothesline from Finlay! Finlay lifted up the ring apron and out ran the leprechaun! With the ref still distracted by Regal, Finlay threw the Bastard into Lashley's midsection, then dropped him down on Lashley's abdomen! The Little Bastard left and crawled back under the ring. I also just noticed that the bottom of his shoes are green, which makes him even better! Finlay grimaced and went back to Lashley, then grabbed Lashley's leg and went to the outside, slamming the knee over the apron! Finlay then whipped the knee into the steel post! Finlay got back in the ring as the ref reprimanded him. Finlay kicked Lashley's leg out from under him as he tried standing up. Regal tried playing innocent ont he outside. Finlay put on a leg submission, but Lashley kicked him in the head several times to escape! Lashley was throwing punches, but Finlay delivered a drop toehold and put on another submission, cranking back on that knee. JBL talked about how Finlay had been working on that knee for three months. Lashley kicked Finlay off, then kicked Finlay in the gut and delivered right forearms, firing up!

Lashley delivered a pair of clotheslines, followed by a belly-to-belly throw! Lashley picked up Finlay and delivered the one arm delayed vertical suplex! Lashley was setting up for the spear, but while the ref was checking on Finlay, Regal grabbed Lashley's leg and pulled it out from under him, then beat on Lashley! Regal did the best innocent look ever after the ref turned back around. Finlay exposed the turnbuckle. The ref reprimanded him and went to fix it, at which point Regal handed Finlay a chair! Finlay went after Lashley with the chair, but Lashley kicked it in Finlay's face! Regal ran in with a chair, but Lashley speared Regal! Lashley fired up, but turned into a shot with the end of the chair from Finlay to the head for the DQ finish!

Post-match analysis: Finlay was upset. He was bleeding, apparently hardway, from what looked like the bridge of the nose or the side of the eye. Regal went after Lashley on the outside, but Lashley tossed him aside. Lashley then grabbed Finlay by the throat! However, the Little Bastard ran out and delivered a low blow from behind with a shillelagh! Finlay then delivered a shot to the back of the head with another shillelagh! They showed a replay of the finish and the post-match shenanigans. Lashley held up his title and the shillelagh on the ramp, with Regal behind him holding up either a number two or a peace sign. Finlay yelled about being the champion and being Irish!

Match grade: B+. Finlay's awesome. Lashley has been getting better and better. Too bad they're taking Lashley off the road due to elevated liver enzymes and this match is going to mean next to nothing on the pay-per-view. I felt that Finlay got the heat on Lashley for too long, and Lashley still needs to step it up a bit more, which will probably be a problem upon his return since he's going to have some ring rust after being taken off the road for a while. Maybe they can throw Matt Hardy into this match or something so that Finlay and Regal can both work heel. I guess I could see Finlay turning face with all the cheers he's been getting for being freaking great and with the midget getting over, but I think it would be foolish to turn him face at this point. I'm still pissed we never got Finlay versus Booker in a big one on one match on pay-per-view.

Up next: A diva dance off. Oooooh boy.

Promo time: A Punjabi Prison match, this Sunday! For the first time ever, the Undertaker versus the Great Khali in this match! (Wait, the first time ever? I thought JBL and Regal had seen it during their world travels!)

(Commercial break.)

Promo time: Smackdown, coming to a town near you live! I may be the only one that noticed this, but they usually do these going into a commercial break, not coming out of one. Weird.

*** It's time for the people to rejoice, it's the Miz! He ran out like the world's biggest goof, as he usually does. He also clearly had an earpiece this week. Maybe that's so he doesn't have to look at anything written on his wrist this week and can actually remember his lines. He talked about Amy being elimianted last week, then introduced the finalists. Jen was first, and was tossing something out to the fans. Layla, the African-American Miami Heat dancer was next, and she did this little shimmy that just made me want to smack her. Erica, the sexy teacher, was up next. They have got to feud her with Michelle McCool. She was followed by Maryse, the one who can barely put together an English sentence. Milena was next, wearing a pink cowboy hat. They've got the built in feud with Melina for her. Rebecca was next, in full cowboy gear, and it seemed really F'ing stupid to not separate her from Milena. JT was last, and even among this group, JT may be the most boring one, which is really saying something. The dance off is apparently up next. Glad to see this is taking up multiple segments.

(Commercial breaks.)

I was impressed with JT jumping up and down in her heels. I think that would take some serious balance. Miz explained that each girl would have thirty seconds to shake their "thing," and that the fans' cheers woudl decide the winner. Miz sounded like a complete robot explaining how to vote, and I'm pretty sure he was trying to repeat exactly what was being said to him through his earpiece.

Jen started us off. She had on black boots, a pink scarp, and sort of a pink one piece lingerie outfit with black trim, as well as a hot choker. She used the scarf as she danced. This girl is already a better stripper than ECW's Kelly Kelly. She had her name written across the back of her outfit. She went to her knees and did the back and forth hair swing, which is a stripper staple (at least from what TV and movies have led me to believe, since I've never actually seen one). She stood up on the ropes and bent down, then pointed to all the fans. She danced a little more. Seems like she's got a little bit of a belly bump, so perhaps that's why she's not as eager to show off her abs as all the other girls. Layla was next, and it's really clear that she's the experienced dancer in the group from her run as a Miami Heat cheerleader. She had on short black spiked boots, black booty shorts, and a red cutoff top. She did a pretty nice splits, though couldn't do it all the way. I think that she's the one who seems like she'd be the biggest natural in the ring after getting some training as she's got that athletic background. Erica had on a white and red outfit, with white tiny halter top vest, white and red shorts, and red heels and accessories. She had absolutely no dancing skills whatsoever and looked about as white as you possibly could while dancing. She more just kind of walked around. I don't know what the Hell that was, but it was hysterically bad. The fans loudly booed this woman, getting an "Ohhhh" from the Miz. Maryse was next, and had a little more game than Erica. She had on big black boots, a black bikini top, a pink mini-skirt, and black choker. She got down and was basically humping the mat, which got a pop. She stood up on the turnbuckle in the corner and felt herself up before finishing up. Milena was next, in her black top, black boots, pink camo miniskirt, and pink cowboy hat. She had some decent moves and, of course, tossed the hat to the crowd. She ripped open her top to reveal a black bra underneath. She did some nice hip thrusts, and I was distracted enough for my finger to slip while typing this, so I guess that's good. Rebecca in her ridiculously overdone brown and white patterned cowgirl outfit, that I guess was supposed to look like a cow, was next. She also had black shorts and fishnet stockings. Definitely the most garish of the bunch. She did the cowboy hat throw and then threw off her bracelets. She then pulled off her chaps, then took off the top to also reveal a black bra. Putting these two next to each other was another ridiculously stupid move. On the plus side, her bra, with a word on either boob, said "WANT MILK?" So, I guess the cow outfit did have a point. She got a mixed reaction from the crowd. JT was next in silver heels, a black miniskirt with the bottom with a torn look like Melina often wears, a blue bikini top, and, uh, mesh arm things. I dunno. She did a lot of gratuitous bending over and blew a kiss to the ring. In possibly the coolest move of this whole thing, she did a splits on the bottom rope. I was worried we were getting close to some more blurring, but looks like she had some shorts or something on under her skirt.

They asked if Jen was the winner and people booed. Layla got mixed boos and cheers. Erica got loud boos. Maryse got loud boos. Milena got cheers for the most part. Rebecca got some light cheers and light boos. JT got a mixed reaction as well. Miz announced Milena as the winner. I do wonder whether they doctored that sound at all. Miz reminded the fans to vote. I'd encourage you all to vote for Milena, my personal favorite, but she won immunity anyway, so I guess there's no point. So, just don't vote for the sucktastic Layla.

*** In what is apparently the jobber locker room, Matt Hardy was talking with Funaki and Tatanka about the Punjabi Prison match. Up walked Sylvan and asked how they were doing in French. Sylvan asked Matt if he was from Cameron, North Carolina, then asked Funaki if he was from Japan, then asked Tatanka if he was from a reservation, uh, somewhere (Sylvan doing this was great, with Tatanka totally no selling it). Sylvan said who he was, the ambassador at large for the beautiful province of Quebec! He said, as nice as their hometowns may be, he encourages them to leave the doldrums of their daily life behind and join Sylvan for a visit to Quebec, an island of tranquility in a truculent world! Sylvan then walked off as the jobbers just looked on. JBL said on commentary "I hate him."

Tonight: Rey Mysterio versus King Booker!

(Commercial break.)

Promo time: Diva search. Vote. WWE.com or, if you want to waste your money, via text message. Yay.

(4) Super Crazy defeated Psicosis.

Pre-match analysis: Gregory Helms was coming down to ringside for commentary. He had on a pretty sweet red and black shirt. Helms talked about being the longest reigning champion in sports entertainment history. It sounded like something was wrong with his headset as his voice was a bit muffled. They said there would be a WWE fan rally at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan on Tuesday to promote WrestleMania 23, and it would be hosted by Mean Gene Okerlund. Psicosis was out next with new music. I'm surprised they didn't save this match for the pay-per-view. Helms said he would be defending his title at the Great American Bash, and he didn't know if it would be one of these guys or someone else, but he has agreed to defend his title. Helms said he had no animosity for either one of these guys, and said he'd beat them up a couple of times. He hoped they beat each other to death, as it would make it easier to win if it is one of these guys. (I guess pinning a corpse would be pretty easy.)

Match analysis: Psicosis kicked Crazy in the gut and beat on him into the corner. Psicosis hit a clothesline similar to the clothesline from Hell off the ropes after bouncing Crazy off the turnbuckle. Psicosis kicked at Crazy's back and dropped an elbow. Psicosis delivered shoulders in the corner. Crazy countered a move into an armdrag. Crazy kicked Psicosis in the corner, but Psicosis grabbed his leg and sent him into the turnbuckle. Helms talked about being the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion ever, since the Royal Rumble in January. Psicosis hung Crazy upside down in the ropes and kicked at his back. Psicosis tossed Crazy by his hair. Psicosis slapped Crazy in the face, then threw him by the hair again. Psicosis locked on a kneelock, then grabbed the other leg and finally picked up Crazy by the arms for a pendulum stretch submission before dropping him. Crazy tried fighting back, but Psicosis tossed Crazy back down. Psicosis put a knee in Crazy's back, then put on a modified camel clutch, pulling at Crazy's face as well. Crazy looked for fan support. JBL talked about Crazy being his hot dog vendor at Yankee Stadium, while Helms in a total non sequitor said that the reason they don't have lawnmowers anymore is that they had to pawn them for more hot dogs. Crazy started battling back.

Crazy delivered a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, then hit a springboard dropkick to Psicosis on the apron to send him to the outside! Crazy went up top and hit a moonsault to Psicosis on the outside! The fans chanted "E C dub," and Helms mocked them for it, saying they were acting like that was where the moonsault was invented. JBL talked about Crazy being a former Puerto Rican hardcore champion, GWA Mexican champion, and Zero One champion in Japan. Crazy rolled Psicosis into the ring and hooked the leg, but Psicosis kicked out at two. Psicosis hit a spinning heel kick and hooked the leg, but Crazy kicked out at two. Psicosis picked up Crazy and hit a sit out slam, but Crazy kicked out at two and a half. Psicosis chopped Crazy, but Crazy managed to jump up on the ropes off of an Irish whip into an armdrag, then rolled and grabbed Psicosis' arm with his legs, then rolled back over into a rollup in a pretty sweet move.

Post-match analysis: Helms yelled at the Mexicools that neither one of them can beat Helms. He yelled at Crazy that he hopes it's him, and that he'll beat him just like he did before. He said he'd be happy to take on both of them as well. They showed a replay of the sequence with the moonsault, as well as the finishing sequence. Crazy walked to the back.

Match grade: C+. A decent little match, but there hasn't been much of a reason given for why these two have been fighting. Kind of just spots without a lot of storytelling.

Up next: Rey Mysterio versus King Booker!

(Commercial break.)

Earlier today: We saw Vito walking through Corpus Christi and going into a clothing store wearing a red dress. He tried on some clothes, including a jean skirt with a black tank top, cowboy hat, necklace, cowgirl boots, and sunglasses, going for a cowgirl look. He did a little line dancing, which got some laughs.

Cole hyped up "Lonely Train" by Black Stone Cherry, the Great American Bash theme song. They then ran down the card. Rey Mysterio defends his World Championship against King Booker, Batista makes his return to pay-per-view against Mr. Kennedy, the Pit Bulls challenge Brian Kendrick and Paul London for the WWE Tag Team Championship (Paul London had the greatest goofy smile ever in this picture), American Bobby Lashley tries to get back his United States Championship in a triple threat match against Ireland's Finlay and England's William Regal (Or at least that was the plan before Lashley got taken off the road), a four way bra and panties match between Michelle, Ashley, Kristal, and Jillian, and a Punjabi Prison match between the Undertaker and the Great Khali. Weird that they didn't include the cruiser match they just announced in that rundown.

(5) Rey Mysterio defeated King Booker (with Sharmell).

Pre-match analysis: Queen Sharmell came out to her music, then introduced her man, her king and your king, soon to be king of the world, King Booker! Sharmell did the all hail King Booker bit. It's still obnoxious, but not nearly as obnoxious as when Regal does it in his gruff voice. Sharmell actually stopped after saying it a few times too, which was nice. Thumbs up for the new style introduction. JBL is great talking up how great King Booker is. Booker extended his hand to a cute girl in the front row and let her touch his hand to her cheeks. He nodded, like he wanted her to kiss his hand, but they cut away. Sharmell looked like a goof, because she tried lifting Booker's robe as he got into the ring, but he walked away as she was trying to grab it, but she finally got it before he got to the stairs. Cole said that the girl at ringside did kiss the ring of the king. Booker spun around as he lifted his robe in the ring. He looked so silly and awesome. Rey Mysterio's music hit. Mysterio had on a new t-shirt this week. Not great, but not a bad shirt. Mysterio went over to a kid in the front row who was wearing a Mysterio mask. Cole talked about how Mysterio was the greatest underdog champion of all time. Isn't that some sort of oxymoron? The match is up after the break!

(Commercial break.)

Match analysis: We joined the match in progress. They were in a Greco-Roman knuckle lock, and Booker had the advantage, giving it to Mysterio. Sharmell cheered on her man. Mysterio kicked Booker in the got, then started delivering kicks to the leg, mostly at the hamstring, to escape. Mysterio started giving the ten punch to Booker in the corner. Mysterio hit a nice tilt-a-whirl headscissors that sent Booker into 619 position. Mysterio went for it, but Booker ducked out of the way and went to the outside. Mysterio hit a seated senton to Booker off the apron! Rey kicked Booker and rolled him back in the ring. Mysterio got in the ring, but Booker delivered a blow to the back of the head as Mysterio got in the ring.

The fans started the "Eddie" chants as Booker gave the boots to Mysterio in the corner. Booker followed up with chops. Mysterio tried going up and over in the corner, but Booker caught him and threw him down in the middle of the ring. Booker covered, but Mysterio kicked out. Booker delivered a pair of short-arm clotheslines. Booker hit the superkick to the jaw and hooked the leg, but Mysterio kicked out at two. Booker locked Mysterio's arm. The fans chanted "Eddie" again. Mysterio made it to his feet and started fighting out with rights and lefts, but ended up running into a back elbow. JBL talked about how Hector, Mondo, and Chavo Senior all made a name for themselves in Corpus Christi, and how Gory Guerrero is a legend. Booker did the belt motion and posed to loud boos from the crowd. Booker hung up Mysterio's gut on the top row, bouncing him off the ropes into a suplex. Booker hooked the leg, but Mysterio kicked out at two and a half. JBL argued that the fans should be cheering for Booker, since he's from Texas, while Rey's allegiances are to north Mexico and San Diego. Booker locked on a chinlock and another Eddie chant started. I love that Booker has "KING" written on his wrist tape. JBL said that they should open up a spot for Booker in the Hall of Fame if he wins the title, and that if he wins, he in fact deserves his own wing, just like JBL. Mysterio made it to his feet and started throwing elbows to the gut to escape. He ducked a clothesline and went for a crossbody, but Booker caught him and slammed him down! Booker covered and hooked the leg, but Mysterio kicked out. Booker yelled repeatedly at Mysterio in the corner "Eddie can't help you!" Oh my. Booker chopped and threw right hands. Sharmell yelled "Kiiiiiing Bookerrrrrr!" Booker whipped Mysterio into the ropes, but Mysterio managed to turn it into a wheelbarrow bulldog!

Mysterio threw right hands and leg kicks, followed by a low dropkick to drop Booker, then hit a springboard seated senton and hooked the leg, but Booker kicked out at two! Mysterio went for the leg kick and punches in the corner again, then delivered a baseball slide to the balls while the ref was distracted by Sharmell! Mysterio hit a snapmare and rolled up Booker, but Booker kicked out! So, apparently even a low blow can't get Mysterio a win anymore. Mysterio tried going up and over in the corner, but Booker caught him. However, Mysterio escaped and delivered the drop toehold to set up the 619. Mysterio was coming off the ropes, but Sharmell pulled Mysterio's legs out from under him! JBL pointed out Cole's hypocrisy, saying how Cole loved it when Mysterio cheated, but now he's upset that Sharmell gave Mysterio "a receipt." Booker delivered a Bookend and hooked the leg, but Mysterio got his foot on the bottom rope! Booker was pissed. Booker talked trash in Mysterio's face, then kicked Mysterio in the gut. Booker was going for the axe kick, but as he came off the ropes, Chavo ran down and grabbed his leg! Cole actually yelled "Look at Eddie!" by accident. Sharmell complained to the ref. Mysterio hit a front dropkick to Booker's back to set up the 619, then hit the 619 and dropped the dime! Mysterio covered and hooked the leg to pick up the victory!

Post-match analysis: JBL yelled "Damn it! Those Guerreros!" Chavo pointed to his head to say how smart he is, then held up Mysterio's arm and pointed at his title belt. The royal family was not happy. They showed a replay of Sharmell interfering, followed by Chavo's interference. Nice how they gloss over the low blow and try to act like Sharmell cheated first. This was ridiculous. Mysterio was kneeling down on the stage and holding up his belt, then signaled up to the heavens for Eddie. Chavo pointed at his EG wristband.

Match grade: B-. It was a fine main event, but it's going to be wiped from your mind almost instantly, especially with the match taking place again on Sunday. The booking was so illogical that my brain just hurt afterwards. It was also uncomfortable with all this Eddie Guerrero talk being dredged up once again.

Show rating: 5.5. The Great American Bash pay-per-view lost a lot with Mark Henry's injury, as Batista versus Mark Henry was probably the biggest selling point for a lot of fans who wanted to see Batista get his revenge on pay-per-view. Kennedy's an OK replacement, but they didn't even do much of an angle between these two men, with the biggest source of animosity being that Ken Kennedy wouldn't shake Batista's hand. This isn't Ring of Honor, so that's not going to sell anyone on this.

One of the two other biggest selling points for the mass audience, the Great Khali versus the Undertaker in a Punjabi Prison match, has also been ruined due to Khali being taken off the road, but it probably won't affect the buy rate much since it wasn't announced on television. Daivari's go home promo added nothing to this feud other than explaining that it's some sort of escape match, and the video package didn't even make that much sense since Daivari supposedly put it together and it showed some good stuff about the Undertaker.

The third big pay-per-view selling point, Booker T versus Rey Mysterio, also took a hit, as they gave it away for free. It was a fine match, but we already saw the good guy get the win over the dastardly heel, so what are you paying for to see on the pay-per-view? With this loss, it looks like Booker almost has to win on the pay-per-view, or there at least needs to be a controversial finish to set up Summerslam. It was also sad to see that Rey couldn't get a win after kicking his opponent in the balls. It made my brain hurt to hear Cole trying to justify Rey's cheating while shooting down Booker's cheating. Rey's not Eddie Guerrero, and the lying, cheating, and stealing gimmick doesn't work for him. It was also uncomfortable to hear them bringing up the Eddie stuff much more tonight than they have in months, with Booker yelling at Rey about Eddie not being there to help him and Michael Cole accidentally calling Chavo Eddie.

The biggest selling point for fans who want to see good wrestling was probably the Lashley versus Finlay versus William Regal match, and for those fans, they may be even more excited since Lashley's been taken off the road too which means we may get a Finlay versus Regal singles match. Still, it wasn't announced on television either, so it shouldn't affect PPV buys much. Their match was the best match on the show, though knowing that Lashley has been taken off the road makes it hard to get behind this match and makes you wonder what they're going to do on the pay-per-view.

The Brian Kendrick and Kid Kash match was fine, but they've barely given these guys any promo time, with the tag team champions getting no promo time at all, so it's hard to get excited about this despite all four of the guys involved being great workers. I didn't think that a Super Crazy versus Psicosis match could be that boring, but they just didn't click at all, and combined with the lack of storyline buildup and no reason given for why these two guys are fighting, there just wasn't anything there. It also seemed silly that they wouldn't just say who Helms is fighting, because unless they're bringing in some great indie cruiserweight, there aren't any guys in WWE who come to mind that would be intriguing at all.

I generally like women's wrestling more than most, but this tag match was just lame and sloppy. The diva search stuff was comically bad, with some really awful dancing, and the live fans booing some of these women out of the building. Sylvan continues to waste all of our time.

***

Newsworthy countdown

1) The Great Khali is off the pay-per-view due to elevated liver enzymes after being promoted as being in the Punjabi Prison match against the Undertaker on pay-per-view, and is being replaced by the Big Show.
2) Lashley is off the pay-per-view due to elevated liver enzymes after being promoted as being in the United States Championship match on Smackdown.
3) Mark Henry had knee surgery earlier this week, so he's being replaced in the number one contender's match on the Great American Bash with Ken Kennedy.
4) Rey Mysterio giving Booker a low blow still couldn't get him a win.
5) Gregory Helms will be defending his Cruiserweight Championship on the pay-per-view now that he is officially the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion ever.

***

Raw Is Trivial: Answer Time with the "Supreme" Seth Berger!

We're back and the answer portion of our show is upon us, here at Raw Is Trivial. We mentioned SummerSlam 1994, the lone WWF PPV from the "House That Michael Jordan Built (And Jerry Krause Razed)". We brought up Razor Ramon's title victory over Diesel at this show. And we alluded to who escorted Razor to the ring. The question - "Who was it?" If you're any kind of sports follower, you know who Walter Payton is, and that's the correct answer. "Sweetness"; oh how I couldn't stand him; especially those high strides as he got into clear field for a touchdown. (I'm a Packers fan, just so you'd know.) But, I respected Walter. I think one of the biggest crimes in the history of sport is that poor Walter, arguably the greatest running back of all-time, never scored a touchdown in the 20th Super Bowl; the Bears' lone appearance in the big game. Not one. The frickin' Fridge got one, but not Payton. Even Richard Dent scored points, and he plays defense.

***

Thanks for tuning in, everyone! Be sure to drop me a line at mikeroe@gmail.com with your thoughts, comments, and questions. I'll be back later this weekend with Torch columnist James Caldwell on Smackdown audio for Torch VIP members, and I'll see the rest of you back here for Express next week! Until next time, be strong and remember to smile!

Mike Roe reviews Friday Night Smackdown every week for PWTorch.com. Mike always wants to hear from you at mikeroe@gmail.com with your thoughts, comments, questions, critiques, or whatever other specialness you want to share. He also writes a Specialist column.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax