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TNA Destination X PPV Report
March 15, 2009
Orlando, Fla.
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor

The PPV started with a black and white video package reminding us that the economy sucks. Transition into some slow-motion shows of TNA wrestlers trying to rise above and push forward to the great horizon. No over-bearing voice-over man throughout this. Suddenly, they went to color footage of Kurt Angle spitting in Sting's face to set up tonight's TNA Title match.

Impact Zone: Mike Tenay introduced the show. Tenay did all the talking, then Don West chimed in. Opening with the women's six-Knockout match. Tenay then picked up his feud with Don West by asking how the "flu bug" is treating him. West said he's doing just fine and his voice might have been impaired, but his judgment was not. Sound was all over the place. Up down up down.

1 -- BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY & MADISON RAYNE) vs. TAYLOR WILDE & ROXXI & GOVERNOR FAKE SARAH PALIN

Roxxi was isolated for some time, then Taylor took a hot tag and the action broke down in the ring. Finally, everyone was cleared except for Taylor and Madison, who picked up their TV feud after Madison turned on Taylor. Taylor nailed a German suplex and got the pin for the win.

WINNERS: Team Wilde in 6:00. Just a standard divas match to start things off. Fine and Madison got her comeuppance. (3/4*)

Backstage: Lauren brought in Jeff Jarrett in a referee t-shirt and Mick Foley for an interview. Jarrett said tonight is the night for Sting to show the Mafia and the world where he really stands. Is there a chance, though, Jeff whether you will be impartial tonight? Jarrett said he'll call it right down the middle and the best man will retain the TNA World Title. Mick Foley repeated right down the middle and he will do his job to enforce that Mafia is nowhere near ringside. Suddenly, a "Brutus Magnus" graphic flashed across the screen. A little early.

Impact Zone: Brutus Magnus came out in his ridiculous gladiator outfit. Why? Tenay said another open challenge for Brute. A petty officer from the U.S. military was then introduced to announce Brutus's opponent. Our military friend milked the moment, then Eric Young came out as the opponent.

2 -- ERIC YOUNG vs. BRUTUS MAGNUS

Bad spot at 1:00 where Brutus tried to catch Young off the ropes with a powerslam, but Young kinda fell down. Crowd was tough on Brutus for the appearance of a botched spot. Meanwhile, Tenay and West debated the main event match of Angle vs. Sting tonight. Brutus with a powerbomb at 2:00, but he missed with a top rope splash. Young made his comeback and nailed the Death Valley Driver. Young made the cover, but Brutus kicked out before three. Young shoved Brutus off the top rope, then nailed a flying elbow drop in a nice spot for a two count. The action moved to the top rope where Brutus nailed a spinning cutter for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Brutus Magnus in 5:00. Match had its moments. Young was good, as usual. Kozlov...er...Brutus is a work in development. (*)

Impact Zone: Sheik Abdul Bashir showed up to complain about not getting any bookings on PPV. He made his message last week on Impact that he won't stand for TNA management holding him down. Typical "U-S-A" chant at the dude from Detroit. Bashir said Barack Obama talks about hope, but where's the hope for him?! Bashir said one guy walks down to the ring and gets a hero's welcome, but he shows up in a turban and he gets booed. Bashir was nearly in tears, apparently, then Jim Cornette showed up to answer the Sheik.

Cornette said the reason why Sheik isn't on the PPV tonight because he doesn't like him. West whispered it's prejudice. Cornette said the wrestlers don't like Sheik and the fans don't like him. Cornette said the problem is that big fat thing between his nose and his chin: his mouth. Cornette said people don't like him because he's a big, obnoxious jerk. Cornette got a chant for his promo, then he told Sheik to simply get the heck out of the building. Wait, hold up. Let's be fair first. Cornette brought back officer Neal who ring intro'ed the previous match. Cornette asked him to sing a song for Bashir to head out of the ring. Mr. Neal then sang "God Bless America" as Bashir left the ring with his head hung low. Kind of feel bad for Bashir, who sold dejection as the sympathetic figure in this segment.

Backstage: Kurt Angle addressed Main Event Mafia. Booker said he has to take care of his own piece of business regarding A.J. Styles. Scott Steiner said Kurt Angle is just paranoid. He said he has to take care of that big piece of Canadian bacon, Samoa Joe. Steiner walked off, then Kevin Nash talked to Angle about this deal with Sting being Angle's fault. He told Angle to take some responsibility by taking care of Sting tonight. Nash walked off, leaving Angle to pout about everyone being against him. He called Nash back and told him they will see what side Sting is really on by the end of the night.

Impact Zone: Matt Morgan came to the ring for the 10,000 thumbtack match. Don West said Jim Cornette went over the line in the previous segment. He made a very compelling speech about why, which continues to reinforce West not as the heel announcer, but as the announcer who points out how stupid, out-of-date, and unintelligent TNA's storylines are. Don West = MVP of TNA. Tenay, of course, tried to shoot down West's argument to defend the "babyface" Cornette.

3 -- MATT MORGAN vs. ABYSS -- 10,000 thumbtack match

Match moved to the floor early on where Abyss crotched Morgan into the ringpost. Abyss tried to retrieve a bed of thumbtacks, but the items did not come into play yet. Match moved back into the ring with Morgan in control. He made a cover, but ref Hebner disallowed it because you apparently have to put a dude through the tacks first. Morgan tried to send Abyss head-first into a pile of tacks, but Abyss fought back with elbow smashes. He then tried to retrieve a bag of tacks, but Morgan kicked him in the head with the bicycle kick. Morgan then retrieved a chair from ringside and wedged it into the corner turnbuckle. Abyss reversed a corner whip and whipped Morgan head-first into the chair. Abyss then introduced more tacks into the current pile, but opted for a Black Hole Slam away from the tacks. Abyss then grabbed some shards of glass and added them to the tack pile. Morgan wanted no part, so Morgan tried to run away. Abyss met him on the entrance ramp for a chokeslam attempt, but Morgan kicked him in the groin. Morgan then gave Abyss a bicycle kick off the ramp through the bed of tacks below the stage. Apparently that was the finish. Abyss didn't really sell it, as he just kind of wiggled his hands. I know his concern isn't selling, but surviving with a bunch of tacks in his body, but the sell of the spot was pretty weak. Morgan celebrated before they cut backstage.

WINNER: Morgan in 9:00. Just a forgettable undercard gimmick match. Abyss wiggling his hands around was laughable. I'm sorry, it just was. I don't know why he continues to take crazy bumps because they don't mean anything, especially in the third match of the card. (1/2*)

Backstage: Booker complained to Jim Cornette about not agreeing to put his Legends Title on the line. Sharmell tried to debate the semantics with Cornette. Playing off the real deal where Sharmell basically runs the PWA behind-the-scenes while Booker is the face of the operations.

Video package: Very ironic video package on ODB. ... ODB then came to the Impact Zone dressed up in a blue dress. Much different than her usual attire. Contestant #1 to win a date with ODB: Cody Deaner a/k/a Joe Dirt. Contestant #2 was Shark Boy from the deep blue sea. Out third was the "suit" from the video packages: Bernie Weber. Music for this was game-show bad.

Lights were dimmed. Deaner said he could get ODB done in 60 minutes. Sharkie said what Deaner could get done in 60 minutes, he could do in 22-23 minutes. He could probably do it twice, too. Suit made a bad pitch about having cars and airplanes. ODB wanted to see them dance-it-off. Jeremy Borash, your gameshow host, said he knows every dance move known to man like Mike Tenay knows every wrestling move. First to dance was Weber, who did a karate chop and giving birth. He needed the shopping cart. That's the only thing that would have saved him.

Shark Boy with a rusty trombone, Badstreet USA, Norman Smiley, flip flop fly, and mini-roonie. Up to Mr. Deaner, who decided to dedicate this one to Dale Earnhart. Deaner with an Alabama Slam into footloose fight dance into mullet mania. Hammer time, then Deaner told ODB that his hair is not the longest part of his body. Crotch thrust, "Deaner" chant, and Borash collected himself. Fan vote results: heel heat for Weber, babyface reaction for Shark, and tweener pop for Deaner. ODB was given one final look at the three candidates before making her decision. ODB made her final decision: Cody Deaner. He did a wild dance, then rubbed his shirt through his crotch. Shark was a bit upset with the decision, then ODB took a swig from her flask. West pleaded no children for them two.

Backstage: Lauren quietly interviewed Beer Money backstage. Roode called Lauren a b----. Well, that's one way to start a promo. Roode said he's tired of hearing how many times Team 3D has won tag titles. He said 3D needed to go to Japan to get tag title gold because they couldn't get the job done here in TNA. Roode said the 3D myth takes a crashing fall tonight. James Storm said he keeps hearing "respect" flying around the locker room. He said they're not getting their own respect even though they accomplished everything. Storm said they don't care about management, 3D's fans (who, where?), and they don't care which one of those gloryhogs leaves TNA tonight. Time for them to write their names in history.

Video package: Sojo Bolt feature to set up the Knockouts Title match.

4 -- Knockouts champion AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. SOJO BOLT -- Knockouts Title match

Kong dominated her protege early on. She then missed with a corner splash, but landed a big slam before making a cover with her boot on Sojo's chest for a two count. Kong wanted a top rope splash, but Sojo moved out of the way. Sojo had enough of Raisha and kicked her through the ropes. She then dumped Kong to the floor and tried to follow, but Kong rolled her back into the ring. Sojo tried a huracanrana, but Kong countered in mid-air with an Awesome bomb for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Kong in 4:00. Basic knockouts match. Not much to it. Continued a subpar, by-the-numbers, unmemorable undercard. (3/4*)

Video package: They focused on Samoa Joe and his nation of violence including his attempts at Samoa Joe's life. Steiner came out first, then Samoa Joe just showed up with a very short haircut, crazy-looking biker jacket, and black pants. Joe stormed the ring and went right after Steiner.

5 -- SAMOA JOE vs. SCOTT STEINER

Joe landed right hand blows and Steiner came up bleeding from the forehead. Joe looked so fat in those black pants. He looked athletic in the short trunks, but he looks so overweight in the pants. Steiner took momentary control, but Joe smashed Steiner with a weapon and knocked out the referee. He then knocked out another ref and they called for the bell.

Steiner simply raised his arms in victory, so Joe nailed a suicide dive on the floor. Joe took Steiner to the arena stands as West talked about feeling bad for the crowd because they didn't get to see a match. Joe bit into Steiner's forehead and liked the taste of blood. Action moved backstage and out of sight. And that's all she wrote. Fans booed.

WINNER: Steiner via DQ in 2:00. Well, that was short and lame. The new Don West is solid, especially when he indirectly calls out TNA for ridiculous booking like advertising a match that barely happened and delivering a fat, out-of-shape Samoa Joe in a ridiculous look. Might as well have slapped Magnus's helmet on Joe and called him the Samoan Warrior. (n/a)

Backstage: Lauren brought in A.J. Styles for an interview on Booker T. He said some stuff, then rubbed his head in disgust and walked off. They showed a video package on Styles vs. Booker for the fake Legends Title tonight.

6 -- Legends champion BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. A.J. STYLES -- Legends Title match

Booker played heel early on, begging off in the corner when Styles drove him into the corner turnbuckle. Styles and Booker then snapped off chops and slaps on each other to pick up the pace of the show. At 5:00, Booker whipped Styles into the corner, but Styles came back with a discus clothesline. Styles then teased the Clash, but Booker kicked Styles away. Booker teased the book-end, but Styles moved and Booker nailed a thrust kick to the face for a two count when Styles appeared to miss the cue to kick out. Styles came right back with a German suplex and bridge for a two count. Styles wanted a springboard move, but Booker met him mid-air with a kick. Booker mis-timed the spot, though, and came up holding his right knee. Ouch. Styles then nailed the Pele kick and they went to the finish with Styles hitting the Clash in center ring. Styles rolled Booker over and made the cover to win the Legends Title. Post-match: Styles celebrated in the stands with the Legends Title. Meanwhile, Sharmell helped Booker roll out of the ring. Tenay then got word on something happening backstage.

WINNER: Styles in 10:00 to capture the Legends Title. Best match of the night, which isn't saying much. Booker appeared to be legit injured leading to the early finish. Good energy from Styles, who unfortunately had to settle for celebrating victory of a fake title. (**)

Backstage: Lauren caught up with Samoa Joe, who was holding his butcher knife with some fluid smeared on his chest. Lauren wanted to know what happened to Scotty. Joe told Lauren to tell everyone in the Mafia that he will take them out one-by-one. Joe walked off, following a trail of liquid on the ground flowing from a large truck. Apparently Joe killed Steiner.

7 -- TNA tag team champions BEER MONEY, INC. (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM w/Miss Jackie) vs. TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) -- TNA tag title match and 3D's careers on the line

Storm was sporting athletic wrap around his left thigh to apparently nurse an injury. Ray wanted a test-of-strength, so he put Storm in the popcorn machine by making him one-step slow on which hand was going to be utilized for the test. Ray eventually danced and rubbed Storm's chest before giving him a neckbreaker. Heel tag champs then worked over Devon before Ray took the hot tag at 6:00 and cleaned house. Ray landed a big corner splash, then Storm fell down on all fours and Roode fell down behind him in rear mount position. They were grossed out, then collected themselves and Ray landed a Dusty Rhodes elbow combo. Ray played to the hard cam, and West pointed out Ray played to the crowd and it cost him when the champs took control again. Ray recovered and went to the second rope where Storm snapped off a huracanrana. Roode then hit a top rope cross body block for another two count.

At 10:00, Roode and Storm had a miscommunication and 3D hit the hanging neckbreaker double-team on Roode. Storm then grabbed a chair and introduced the chair to smash Ray across the back with a chair shot to call for a DQ. Devon was beside himself with the finish. Cornette then showed up and did the reverse Dusty finish. He said the fans came to see a winner and a loser, so he asked for a re-start of the match. And this time...it's No DQ. Devon went to ringside and retrieved the tag champs. Ray put on a Cowboy hat and 3D hit the 3D on Storm, but Roode pulled the ref out of the ring to stop a count. Roode then grabbed Storm, the tag belts, and took off to the back with Cornette chasing after them. Ref had no choice but to make a ten count for the count-out victory.

Post-match: 3D confronted Don West for handing Beer Money the tag title belts. West defended himself, then Ray shouted at West. He pointed his finger at him while Tenay put on his mad-face. 3D walked off while Tenay glared at West before they cut to an X Division promo.

WINNERS: Team 3D via count-out in 13:00; Roode & Storm retain the tag titles. Walk-through-the-motions tag team PPV match with a typical non-finish for a Beer Money match. West is such a convincing advocator for the heels that it's hard to root for the babyfaces, especially when Mike Tenay is defending them. Finish wasn't actually that frustrating because Tenay's boys didn't win the belts. (*1/2)

Earlier today: What's left of the X Division - X Division champion Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, and Jay Lethal talked about the Ultimate X match for the X Division Title. Shelley said the X-factor is Suicide because he's apparently willing to kill himself to win the belt. Creed and Lethal talked about being nervous about the match. Lethal talked circles around there being a lot of factors - friendships, careers, and bodies. Is it all worth it? Lethal said, "oh yeah, it's worth it." Regarding the Ultimate matches with an "X" hanging above the center of the ring, Lethal made this profound statement: "Some say it's a shape. Some say it's a letter."

8 -- X Division champion ALEX SHELLEY vs. JAY LETHAL vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED vs. SUICIDE -- ULTIMATE X match -- X Division Title match

Guns went right after Suicide in the beginning of the match in an attempt to eliminate him from the equation. Sabin was the first one to attempt to climb the ropes toward the X Title, but Creed knocked him down to the mat. Suicide landed some crappy knee-lifts on Sabin a few minutes in, but Guns knocked him down. If that's Christopher Daniels behind the Suicide outfit, I feel sorry for him because that outfit limits his movement so much. Suicide set up a spot where he put Creed on his shoulders and crashed into everyone on the floor with a rolling Samoan drop. Back in the ring, they set up the monkey bar spots. Creed found himself very close to the belt, but Sabin ran off Shelley to knock Creed off the cables to the mat. They set up a huge four-way Tower of Doom spot in the corner, but Suicide jumped onto the cables and tried to climb. Lethal met him with a powerbomb to the mat, though.

At 10:00, people started hitting finishing moves that no one will remember in 30 seconds as if they were in a video game. Considering they have a video game character in the match, it's not a sarcastic statement to make. Shelley was favoring his right knee as he started to climb the corner, but Lethal cut him off. Suddenly, three men started battling toward the center of the X. Suicide then balanced himself on top of the Ultimate X structure and jumped across the cables to land at the very center and knock three men off the cables. Suicide then grabbed the X Title belt and pulled it down with him to win the match and the belt.

WINNER: Suicide in 14:00 to capture the X Division Title. Fine match with a solid dose of athleticism to stand out on the PPV card. Too bad there were so many inconsequential moves that didn't have any bearing on the outcome of the match. Just limits the X Division as the "monkey-bar special" division where they get three minutes on TV and no time to develop legit feuds or storylines. (**)

Backstage: Borash was with TNA champion Sting, who reflected on the title match main event. They went to a video package on the Sting vs. Angle feud leading to an assortment of ring intros for Jarrett, Foley, Angle, and Sting.

9 -- TNA World champion STING vs. KURT ANGLE -- TNA World Title match -- Jeff Jarrett special ref and Mick Foley special enforcer

Action moved to the floor early on where Sting dumped Angle into the front row and beat him up a little. Angle then took control and brought him back into the ring. They cut to a shot of Mick Foley looking up toward the top of the arena, as if he were getting a cue from someone. When I glance up from the keyboard, it looks like ref Shane Sewell, not Jeff Jarrett, as the third man in the ring. In any event, Angle dominated the match with groundwork. They had a mid-ring collision, then Sting came up in control with a Stinger splash for a two count. Angle came back with consecutive German suplexes and nailed three of 'em.

At 10:00, Sting missed with a Stinger splash and Angle hit the Angle Slam for a two count only. Angle then nailed a top rope moonsault and scored another two count. Angle went back to the German suplexes, but Sting countered into a Scorpion deathdrop for a nearfall. Oops, there's your ref bump with Jarrett taking the bump. Mick Foley then slipped into the ring and helped Jarrett up. Meanwhile, Angle was tapping out to the Scorpion deathlock. Foley didn't see it, though, as he was helping up Jarrett. Angle then covered Sting following an Angle Slam from behind, but Foley counted a two count only. Foley and Angle argued, then Angle kicked Foley between the legs.

Angle retrieved a steel chair, but Foley woke up and stole the chair. Angle ducked and Sting took the chairshot to the head. Angle covered, Jarrett came to as ref, but Sting kicked out before three. Angle argued with Jarrett, then he spit in Jarrett's face. Sting suddenly came to and did his pounding-chest routine before Jarrett spun Angle around into the deathdrop for the pin and the win. Afterward, Sting and Foley stood tall in center ring, but Sting had a choice word for Foley. Angle argued with Jarrett on the ramp and Sting celebrated to close the PPV.

WINNER: Sting in 14:00 to retain the TNA World Title. Another mid-card-quality effort in the PPV main event. Just a basic match where Angle couldn't even get a main event-quality match out of Sting. Predictable ref bump leading to Foley accidentally knocking out Sting, which apparently will lead to them setting up their Lockdown match on TV. (*1/2)

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