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This is my first attempt at a virtual time recap, so I apologize in advance for the slow updates and plethora of typos.

(1) LAX vs. The Rock & Rave Infection (w/Christy Hemme)
Homicide and Rave start things off with some cool back and forth. Rave hits his neat Tilt-a-Whirl Armbar early, and after that he doesn't serve much purpose. Hernandez and Hoyt tag in and have their big-man face off, rightly won by Hernandez. Homicide and Rave fight on the apron, and then Hernandez takes to the air to follow Hoyt to the outside with a big Splash. Homicide and Hernandez reenter the ring and double team Rave for a bit. Hoyt comes back in and tosses Hernandez, allowing the heels to isolate Homicide. A big Twisting Slam get two. Just when things look bad Hernandez comes back in with a Flying Double Clothesline from the outside. He nails a big Powerbomb and tosses Hoyt, which allows Homicide to hit a Somersault Suicide Dive. Hernandez goes for the Border Toss on Rave, but Christy Hemmy grabs Rave's legs and prevents Hernandez from pulling the trigger. Rave starts taking it to Hernandez, but gets caught on the top rope. Hernandez hits a Super Border Toss off the top, and I'm fairly sure Jimmy Rave is dead. Sure enough, it's enough for the three count.

Winner: LAX

(*) LAX are fun.

After the match the new member of the Latino Nation comes to join LAX in the ring, but Hoyt reenters to take out Homicide and Hernandez. The mystery member refuses to back down to Hoyt, nailing him with a low blow. Christy goes for a low blow on "him", but it doesn't faze "him." Sure enough, "he" takes off the mask to reveal Shelley Martinez, who is in fact hot enough to hopefully insure a push for LAX. Tenay points out that no one will be confusing her for a man again anytime soon.

Backtage, Storm and Young are playing "Never Have I Ever." Apparently James Storm has been to the moon. Who knew? He's also responsible for the 1967 Detroit Riots, despite the fact that he wasn't born yet. In a nice bit of continuity, they talk about buying condoms at 1 AM and Young reminisces about the time he and JB went cruising for condoms at 3 AM a year or so ago. Storm seems to have won, but I'm not really clear on the rules.

Crystal is in the back with Tomko & Styles, and she wants to know AJ's decision. He says that the night's not over yet, so he still has time. Tomko says that AJ is out of time, cause he should be focused on their title defense later tonight. Tomko storms off.

(2) Kaz vs. Black Reign

Kaz starts things off with a Springboard Reverse Elbow, and follows it up with a Leaping Clothesline. Reign goes for some sort of running move and eats nothing but barrier. Kaz nails a beautiful Leaping Side Kick, but Reign turns things around with a Low Blow. They fight up the ramp, but a Knee Lift takes Kaz all the way to the floor. Reign takes back to the ring and hits an Inverted DDT on Kaz, prone on the ropes. Sadly he decides to rock the Randy Orton offense with a big Chin Lock, but Kaz fights out mercifully quickly. Reign catches him with a big STO and follows it up with a choke. Then…yep, it's another Chin Lock. Kaz fights out again but gets caught with a knee. The crowd's booing, and I'm honestly not sure if they're booing Reign or the match. A big shot to the jaw gets two, and then we're back to the Chin Lock. Kaz eventually fights out (again) and he and Reign nail simultaneous Cross Body Blocks. Kaz gets up first and hits a couple neat kicks and a Spinning Neck Breaker for two. He hits a cool Slingshot DDT for two, but whiffs when he tries to follow up with a Springboard Leg Drop. Reign catches him with that Facebuster he does, but only gets two. When he tries to go for some type of Inverted DDT it's reversed into the Wave of the Future for the win.

Winner: Kaz

(½*)--Bleh.

After the match, Kaz steals Black Reign's rat. They should really never let anything happen after Black Reign matches.

JB is in the back with the Angles, and he can't believe that AJ Styles won't side with them. Angle makes it clear that JB is not part of the team, but then asks what "we" are going to do tonight if AJ turns on them. Karen doesn't want to hear either of their ideas, since she doesn't trust either of them to take care of business. Angle points out that her taking care of business is the sort of thing that lands them in these messes, and sends JB after her.

(3)Gail Kim (c) vs. Awesome Kong
Street Fight for the Knockouts' Championship

Kong attacks Kim on the on her way into the ring, and the crowd is bizarrely hot for Kong. Kong goes over to the announce booth, but Kim avoids getting put through it. Kong beats her all the way back to the ring, and the crowd's booing something again. She locks in a big Chin Lock, but makes it actually entertaining by swinging Kim around while it's locked in. The crowd's got dueling "Let's go Kong"/"Let's go Kim" chants. Kim gets up to the top rope, but gets caught by Kong's Spinning Back Fist. Kim falls to the outside, and she's clutching her knee. Kong follows up, hitting the Samoa Joe Big Swing into the barricade. The crowd chimes in with a "Holy Shit" chant. Kong tosses Kim into the crowd. Kim tries to rally, but she just gets overpowered again. They fight up the steps, and eventually Kim is able to fight back with the assistance of a Coke bottle borrowed from the crowd. They fight back down, and Kim is able to follow up with a bunch of stiff kicks. She tosses Kong back over the barricade and hits a Double Axe Handle from the rail. Kim tries to roll Kong into the ring for the cover, but she can't lift her up. That gives Kong a chance to retake control, and she goes for a chair. That's pretty silly though, as Kim kicks it back into Kong's face. Kim climbs to the top rope and goes for a big Cross Body to Kong on the floor, but Kong catcher her. Kong takes her back into the ring and nails another Spinning Back Fist. She tries to follow up with an Awesome Bomb, but Kim wiggles out and goes for a Sunset Flip. Kong resists and goes for a Bonzai Drop, but Kim dodges. Kim goes for some move off the top, but gets caught in a sort of massive Lifting Face Buster. It only gets two, and Kong is less than thrilled. She takes out the ref, and starts attacking him with a chair. The distraction is enough for Kim to get the chair and pummel Kong with it, knocking her down and following it up with a Splash off the top. The ref is out though, and the time it takes for the ref to get down is enough for Kim to kick out. Kim goes for something like a Union Jack, but gets reversed into a Choke Slam for two. Kong is once again ticked at the ref, and lifts him up for an Awesome Bomb. This time Gail Kim hits a School Girl on Kong as she holds the ref, who falls onto Kong and counts the three.

Winner: Gail Kim
(***) Solid title match.

After the match Kong tries to destroy Gail Kim, but Angelina Love and Velvet Sky come and pull Kim out of the ring.

JB follows Karen Angle to the men's bathroom, where she finds AJ Styles and offers to relieve him of his tension. A toilet flushes and ODB comes out. Karen says she's always liked him, and that's why she recruited him. Styles, surprisingly astute, points out that she's not exactly known for her honesty.

Crystal is in the back with James Mitchell, and he bets that tonight Mesias will torture Abyss to the point where he'll reveal his secret. He says that Abyss's bitch of a mother would tell him that little boys who don't tell the truth are doomed to burn in hell. Mitchell's trying. He's really trying.

(4) Abyss vs. Judas Mesias
Mesias starts off on offense, which for some reason draws cheers from the crowd. Abyss clotheslines him over the top rope, taking the fight to the outside. There's a brutal toss into the steel steps on Mesias, but when Abyss goes back into the ring Mesias raps his legs around the ringpost. Mesias continues working the leg, trying to lock in an Ankle Lock and hitting a series of low kicks. Mesias goes for some sort of Hurricanrana, but gets caught in a Slam. Mitchell pulls a bag of tacks out from under the ring, and Abyss chases him around the ring and up the ramp. Not surprisingly, the distraction is enough for Mesias to clip the leg from behind. Mesias whips him into the steps, and Abyss takes the full-on Foley bump. Abyss gets back into the ring, and Mesias tries to hit a Double Axe Handle off the top. He gets caught, and Abyss follows up with a big kick and a Reverse Stinger Splash in the corner. Abyss gets a chair and sets it up in the corner, but the delay is enough for Mesias to get to his feet. He tries to hit some sort of springboard move, but Abyss catches him coming down with a Low Blow and tosses him into the chair. He follows it up with a Choke Slam for two. Mitchell comes back to ringside with an abnormally large black bag, and Abyss grabs a chair wrapped in barbed wire. Referee Andrew Thomas grabs the chair and tosses it out, but while his back is turned Mesias nails a stiff shot with the other chair. Mesias hits a big splash, but it only gets two. He goes on the assault but gets caught in a Black Hole Slam, but Mitchell has the referee distracted. Abyss pulls Mitchell into the ring and goozles both him and Mesias. The ref tries to escort Mitchell from the ring, but with his back turned Mesias spits some red mist at Abyss and then hits the Straight to Hell on Abyss on the chair wrapped in barbed wire (I have no clue how that got back in the ring).

Winner: Judas Mesias

(3/4*) – Poor Abyss.

Mitchell asks whether Abyss is ready to reveal his secret, but then settles for dousing him in lighter fluid. Security comes in and breaks things up before he can set Abyss on fire.

Crystal is in the back with Nash, and says that while he and Joe have had their differences they seem to have made their peace. Nash says that he's the kind of guy to smack you one day and kiss you the next. He says that he'll do what he always does, which is make a lot of money.

Crystal is next up with Booker T and Sharmell, but they're clearly just buying time for the ring to get cleaned up.

(5) Robert Roode & Ms. Brooks vs. Booker T & Sharmell

The crowd really loves them their Booker T. He starts things off, but Roode won't get in the ring with him. Eventually Roode comes in, and Booker slaps the taste out of his mouth. They trade blows, but when Booker goes for a Suplex Roode floats over and takes control. Roode takes a minute to yell at Ms. Brooks, but is still able to catch Booker with a DDT. Booker seems ticked. He hits a couple big spinning kicks, but when Booker Irish Whips Roode he leapfrogs Booker and takes him down. Booker starts to fight back, but a reluctant Ms. Brooks trips him up. Roode follows up with a big Back Breaker, but when he follows up with a Chin Lock he earns the night's first "boring" chant. He takes Booker to the outside, but then brings him back in and goes back to the Chin Lock. Booker T fights out, but Roode catches him with a Leaping Neck Breaker off the top. He takes him over to Ms. Brooks who again reluctantly slaps Booker T. She still doesn't want in though, and when Roode grabs her the ref calls it a tag. Booker tags in Sharmell, and it's time for the women. Roode goes up on the apron just in time for Sharmell to shoot Ms. Brooks into him and roll her up for the win.

Winner: Booker T & Sharmell

DUD—Nothing happened, but I think it was just supposed to set up the cool post match antics:

After the match, Roode starts yelling at Ms. Brooks, and she loses it and slaps him. He starts grabbing her when Sharmell runs in and tries to pull him off. Roode, seemingly thinking it was Booker T, turns around and slugs her right in the face. The camera goes to Booker, who has an awesome look that would scare the hell out of me if I were Robert Roode. Roode backs away slowly, claiming it was an accident. Apparently he's the new Snitsky.

Crystal is in the back with Christian, and she wants to know if he needs or has any help tonight. He says that he never needed the help, but was always just trying to elevate AJ. He says that Karen was trying to "make things clear" for AJ, but all she made clear was that she was starting to show her age. He says that the only thing that'll be hard tonight is her attempting to explain to her husband why everything went wrong. If we don't know, now we know.

We're back with the DCS, where Eric Young and Storm are playing Edward 40-Hands, which my friend assures me is a real drinking game. Young accuses Storm of having spilled some, and he gets up to reveal a wet spot on his pants. He tries to convince everyone that it isn't beer, but they're not buying. It's apparently tied up at one apiece.

Team 3D & Johnny Devine hit the ring and Brother Ray has a mic. He claims that they're in the best shape of their careers; he has the speed of a gazelle and Devon has the agility of a Black Panther. That's kind of funny. He calls SoCal Val a bit of trash, and says that they're the best at gimmick matches. He calls down the ref and tells him to keep his eyes open because The Motor City Machine Guns are cheaters. Ha! It's funny because they're the ones who are really the cheaters.

(6)Team 3D & Johnny Devine vs. "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal & The Motor City Machine Guns
Ultimate X Match for Possession of the X Division Championship

The Guns do a full-on London & Kendrick to get to the ring. Most of the crowd is behind the Guns, with the rest of course behind Lethal. They pair up and brawl on the outside.
Devine takes a mean whip into the barricade while Ray and Devon set up some tables. They go to hit Powerbombs on the Guns, but Lethal comes out of nowhere to make the save. Shelley tries to climb the ropes, but falls down clutching his hand. Ray comes in to capitalize, but gets caught by a Springboarding Sabin. Sabin also fails to climb the ropes, and Devon takes him out. Lethal tries it, but Devine catches him and slams him to the mat. Devine goes for the belt, but Sabin and Shelley grab a leg each and flip him inside out. As they gloat Ray takes them out with a big Double Clothesline. Ray and Devon try jumping for the belt, but it's not happening. They try to give each other boosts, but are both too heavy. It's actually kind of funny. Ray makes a tentative move towards climbing the ropes, but Lethal jumps to the middle of the rope and cuts him off. Lethal falls, but it was enough time for Shelley to come and pull Ray down. Ray goes for a Savage Elbow but gets nothing but canvas. Lethal goes back to the ropes, but Devine catches him and hits a brutal Leaping Gut Buster. Shelley catches him, and Sabin follows up with a Tornado DDT. Shelley whiffs on a Plancha to the outside. Devon tries to get to the belt on Brother Ray's shoulders, but they first knock Ray out and then Dropkick a hanging Devon to the mat. Ray tries to take Devine on his shoulders, but Lethal hits a leaping Inverted Hurricanrana on Devine on Brother Ray. After some brawling, Ray just goes for a ladder, which Tenay says violates an unwritten rule of the X Division. The Guns catch Ray and Devon with Stereo Ensuguris, but get caught themselves with kendo stick shots from Devine. Devine tries to climb the ladder, but Sabin knocks him all the way to ringside where he hits the tables and bounces off. Ray and Devon hit a 3D on Sabin, then toss the ladder at Jay Lethal. The ref goes down somehow, and Team 3D climb the ladder to claim the belt. Devon hangs on the top while Ray gets rid of the ladder, meaning that when the ref gets up he only sees Devon hanging with the belt.

Winner: Team 3D & Johnny Devine

(***1/4)—It was a nice cross between an athletic contest and a fun sports-entertainment segment.

Crystal is in the back with Joe, who says that maybe he was wrong regarding Nash. He says he's been working closely with him, and that he's been learning a lot about mind games. If I were Nash I'd be a bit worried about that.

(7) Tomko & AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe & Nash
Styles and Joe start things off with some cool chain wrestling before Joe tags in Nash. Nash tosses Styles around, but Styles takes out the legs and gets in Tomko. But as big as Tomko is, he's no Nash. He somehow takes the bigger man down and starts working the leg. Styles and Tomko take turns working the leg some more until Nash catches Tomko in a Sidewalk Slam and gets Joe in. Joe hits big moves faster than I can type them down, but when he goes for a cover on Tomko AJ Splashes him from the top rope. Some brawling later AJ hits a mean Drop Kick on Joe, and he and Tomko work over Joe's neck. Man, they really like their Chin Locks tonight. Tomko hits a weird slow DDT, but when Styles tries to trade blows with Joe the Samoan Submission Machine hits some mean open hand slaps. AJ tries to hit a Springboard Hurricanrana but gets caught in a Powerbomb. Tomko runs in to help but eats a Snap Slam himself. Joe crawls over to Nash, who drops off the apron and walks away. Tomko and Styles go for a double team move, but Joe fights out and hits a brutal flip over choking Suplex on Styles. He gets Tomko in the corner, but when AJ tries to rush him Styles eats a Yurinagi. Joe follows up with a Muscle Buster, but Tomko breaks up the three count. The crowd chants "Thank you Tomko"—if TNA was hoping Joe would be the face here they should have made him a mite less whiny. Joe tries to get the Rear Naked Choke on Tomko, but when Tomko gets out Joe tries to follow him and eats a Pele for his trouble. One double team move later it's over.

Winner: Styles & Tomko

(**1/2) A decent outing with a fun (if, in retrospect at least, predictable) twist. There were some slow points in the beat down on Joe though.

We go the finals of the DCS, where Storm and Young are playing what appears to be a game of war. Young loses and has to drink whiskey from a funnel, but while Jackie Moore distracts him with her breasts Storm pours something (salt?) into the funnel. Young falls over, conceding the match.

Winner: James Storm

Borash is in the back with Angle, and points out that despite Karen's efforts AJ hasn't committed. Kurt's confused, but when JB explains that she tried to seduce AJ Kurt seems confident that he's got AJ in his pocket. Kurt says that Christian doesn't have Tomko, doesn't have Styles, and doesn't have an Olympic gold medal.

Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage
World Heavyweight Championship
It's 10:32 before they finish the introductions, which is sort of weird for a main event that probably sold a lot of people on the card. The crowd is all over Angle from the start, and sure enough they eventually start up an "Instant Classic" chant. After a couple of lock-ups Angle hits a Gut-Wrench takedown. They do some leapfrogging, which Angle tries to stop with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex, which Christian reverses into an Ensuguri attempt, which Angle reverses into an Angle lock attempt, from which Christian rolls away. Cool. Angle takes Christian to the mat with a Headlock Takedown, but Christian fights out, and a few leapfrogs later Christian nails a One-Man-Flapjack and some slaps to Angle's bald head. Angle charges, but gets nothing but ringpost. Christian tries to follow up with the Unprettier but it's way to soon for that. They grapple some more and Christian tosses Angle from the ring. Angle goes in and gets in Christian's face, delivering two open hand slaps. Christian responds by spitting in Angle's face. Angle nails a European Uppercut but gets caught with a flurry of right hands. Christian tosses Angle to the apron; Angle tries to Suplex him out, but Christian lands on the apron and uses the ropes for a seesaw-like kick. He follows up with an amazing Springboard Cross Body Block from the corner ringpost to the floor (picture a Jericho Springboard Drop Kick but cooler). They get back in the ring, where Angle catches Christian with a huge Overhead Suplex from the ring all the way out to the floor. Angle rolls him back in and starts working the body with kicks and a Body Slam for two. Christian tries to break out but Angle catches him with a big knee for two. Angle follows it up with some type of Body Lock. Christian fights out, only to get caught by a Belly-to-Belly Overhead Suplex. Christian rolls to the outside for a breather, but Karen Angle meets him with a slap to the face. Kurt rolls him back into the ring where he locks in a dual Headlock/Leg Scissors. Christian fights his way up, gets caught by a Double Leg Takedown, but catches Angle coming in with a Sleeper, which is reversed into an Arm Drag, which is reversed into a Spear. Again: cool. Christian goes up top, but Angle crotches him and catches him with a Back Body Drop, followed by a picture perfect Moonsault. Angle lifts him up for some sort of drop, but Cage reverses it into a big DDT. Christian follows it up with some elbows and an Inverted DDT. He goes up top for a Frog Splash, but Angle rolls out of the way and catches Christian with a roll-up for two. When Christian gets up Angle gets him with a trio of German Suplexes. The straps come down, and Angle is stalking his prey. He goes for the Olympic Slam, which is reversed into an Unprettier attempt, which is reversed into an Angle lock. Christian rolls through but Angle hands on. He kicks Angle off and goes for a Small Package when Angle rebounds off the ringpost, but Angle rolls through and reapplies the Angle lock. Christian turns him over for a cover and makes Angle break the hold. He tries to go to the top rope, but Angle catches him with a running Belly-to-Belly Superplex for two. Angle locks back in the Angle Lock, which Christian somehow reverses into a Texas Cloverleaf, which Angle reverses back into an Angle Lock. Christian gets to the ropes, and as he gets up he goes for the Unprettier. Angle reverses it into a Back Body Drop, but Christian lands on his feet and hits an Edge-O-Matic for two. Christian goes to the top again, but this time when Angle tries to cut him off he bites Angles head and nails the Frog Splash for a long two. The ref narrowly avoids a clothesline, but while he's distracted Angle hits a Low Blow and an Olympic Slam for two. Angle locks in the Angle Lock, but Christian rolls through and shoots him towards his wife. When Angle hits the breaks, he gets caught in an Unprettier for a long two. Christian tries to get Karen off the apron, and when Angle tries to attack from behind Christian reverses it into an Angle Lock of his own. Angle's tapping, but Karen has the ref distracted. AJ styles comes down to ringside and takes Karen away from the ring. Christian sees that and shares a hug with AJ, but when he turns his back AJ nails a Flying Forearm to the back of his head. Angle catches him and smoothly rolls upwards in such a way as to nail an Olympic Slam for the three count. Angle and AJ share a hug.

Winner: Kurt Angle

(***3/4) The ending was obvious as soon as AJ took Karen down, but it was still just an awesome wrestling contest with great back and forth.

Overall:This was a fun show. The parts that one expected to be bad were just that, but the matches one expected to be good I think delivered above and beyond the call of duty. The Main Event was the clear match of the night, which is a always a good sign. However, strong performances from the women's match and the Ultimate X segment really gave this show a much better rounded feel than any of TNA's outings since Bound for Glory in October. B+


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