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POLL: Vote for the Best Valentine's Day Fail - PWTorch Livecast Listener Contest

Feb 11, 2014 - 10:33:48 PM
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PWTorch Livecast listeners know we solicited stories from listeners who were brave enough to share their Valentine's Day Fails in the past, as part of our promotion with Shari's Berries (visit www.Berries.com and enter "wrestling" to unlock 40 percent savings on a box of chocolate covered strawberries as a Valentine's Day gift - there's time act now and receive them by Friday).

We are opening up this contest for voting. The winner of the most humiliating Valentine's Day Fail will receive a free prize - an Ultimate Insiders DVD Collector's edition of my interview from 2006 with ex-Monday Night War TV writers for both Raw and Nitro, Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara, in their first interview together since their days writing Raw and later Nitro together.

Please scroll down and read over the following Valentine's Day Fails and then vote for who think had the biggest Valentine's Day Fail and deserves a prize.

SHANE F.: Valentine's day 2012 my co-workers and I decided on our lunch break to attempt the infamous Four Horseman Challenge, which is a burger featured on the Food Network that has jalapeno, cerano, habanero, and the dreaded ghost pepper. I failed miserably, to say the least. It was the hottest thing I've ever eaten in my life and almost sent me to the hospital. The pain had only just begun because it had only gone in and still hadn't come out. When I got home that evening I had a night of fine dining and romance all mapped out, but you can fill in the blanks. I spent the entire evening alone on the commode screaming in pain while my wife probably questioned her life decisions in marrying such a fool. Needless to say, that night Shari's Berries would have saved my ass... literally.

NICK S.: Well Wade, I'd have to say the worst Valentine's Day present I ever received was Valentine's Day 2008. I had just lost my dog and I was very heart broken. This dog was my life and I was very, very depressed. This happened two weeks prior to Valentine's Day. So the girl I was dating at the time actually got a deceased dog - the same kind as my dog - and she got it stuffed and actually went out of her way to put it as a display in a cage and even wrapped it up for me. Wade, I was so freaked out that she had a real life dead dog stuffed that I had to walk away from her - and she was the very first girl I had ever left in 25 years of life. I will never forget that. She spent god knows how much money getting a real dog stuffed and then paid for a cage; god only knows how expensive that was. Disgusting.

JIMMY G: My Valentine Day story starts six months before it. I sold a power tool (can't remember the name of it) in a local news paper ad, to a man of a similar age. Three months later, I started dating my girlfriend and our first Valentine Day was coming up. I gave her the normal chocolate, roses, etc. and then she precedes to hand me a box. As I opened it, I saw that it had been reboxed, and it happened to be the same power tool I had sold 6sixmonths earlier (I recognized a mark on it), but to make it worse, it was even missing a battery pack with it! After questioning, it turns out she stole it from her ex-boyfriend, the guy I sold it to, after they split up and regifted it to me. Future Valentine's Days turned out better for me. Thank you.

KOFI P.: Three years ago, I had messed up bad with this girl in my Journalism class. I had asked for her number and then completely chickened out on asking her out on a date. We had awkward stare downs in class. Valentine's Day was coming around the corner. I didn't have any plans, but then my mother sent a box of chocolates in the mail. This gave me an idea, an extremely bad idea. I knew the dorm where the girl lived, so I went into her building, early in the morning with the box of chocolates. It was pitch black dark in there. I could barely make my way to her door. I wrote her name in the box of chocolates and left them there. In the afternoon, I woke up, ready to send her a message on Facebook about how I was the secret admirer. I looked at her Facebook wall and gasped in horror. She posted that she and her roommate threw the chocolates away because they thought the chocolates were poisoned. Just my luck. Never spoke to her again.

MICHAEL: The following is a true story. I will never forget it as long as I live. It all occurred back in 2003. I was seeing a co-worker named Angela. She was a beautiful girl. A little shorter than average height, blonde hair, pretty face, nice boobs, the whole package. We had been seeing each other for about three months when Valentine's Day rolled around. She had always told me about how her father, who had passed away, loved to take her horse-back riding as a child. Well, my aunt and uncle has some horses, and agreed to allow me to take Angela to their place and ride horses with her. When we arrived, I was naturally nervous as I had never actually ridden a horse. But, for Angela, I mustered the courage and saddled up. Unfortunately, I did not have the saddle tight enough and slid off of the horse shortly after the ride began. When I hit the ground, I hit hard. Evidently this spooked the horse who jumped wildly in the air. The horse's rear foot came down on my testicles. My scrotum was torn and I suffered testicular trauma. Needless to say, I ended up in the hospital. While receiving treatment for my injuries, apparently Angela had struck up a conversation with an off-duty male nurse. Long story short, she went home with him. I missed a few weeks of work because of the severity of my injuries. The entire time I was out I never heard from Angela. The last words she said to me were, "I am so sorry. We just have so much in common." When I finally returned to work, everyone knew of the incident. I ended up leaving that job. About a year later I received a letter from Angela in the mail. It was a wedding invitation. In it, Angela said that she considered it fate and that if the horse had not injured my testicles, she never would have met her future husband. I responded with the following: "Well, did you invite the horse, too?!"

THOMAS L.: Last year was the first Valentine's Day that I was with my girlfriend so I wanted to try something special. I decided to order the premium package online which included flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear and an "I love you" pick that went into the flowers. I got this package sent to her job and figured to score major brownie points. I was on the phone with my girlfriend as she got to work and heard her start crying as she approached her job. She saw the box sitting in the office and got very excited. She opened up the rather large box but instead of the package being in there, she only go the "I Love You" pick and nothing else. This company had screwed up and sent a straw with a cardboard heart attached that looked completely cheap. I was mortified as my girlfriend was bummed saying she expected at least flowers. I called up the company, screaming about how they ruined my Valentine's Day and they explained how there was fine print that stated in rare cases the company screws up and it has two weeks to make it right. This meant that all my girlfriend got on Valentine's Day was the worthless toothpick and, to make matters worse, for the next week she got one package a day delivered to her job with a piece of the package. On Valentine's Day was the pic, then the bear, then the chocolates, then the vase, and finally the flowers about a week after Valentine's. They said they couldn't give me a refund because they fulfilled their commitment. but rather 35 percent off my next order. My girlfriend was so sick and embarrassed that she received piece of crap gifts at work that she was fed up with the gifts and to this day thinks I was trying to make up for the dud of a Valentine's Day gifts by sending new ones every day. She even asked me to stop sending the items, but I couldn't because the online company said my gifts were in transit. Just a bummer of a holiday.

MARTIN: Valentine's Day horror stories happen to be a tradition in my family. However, the one that happened to me may not be suitable to be read on the air. It was Valentine's Day 2001 and I had been dating a girl for about six weeks. Valentine's Day was coming up and we decided we hadn’t been together long enough to make a fuss over it, so she said, "Let's just get each other a card." On the morning of Valentine's Day I heard from a mutual friend that this girl had actually only said "let's not make a fuss" because she was planning on making some kind of surprise for me. I decided to buy a big teddy bear and an expensive card, which I wrote a poem in (I’m cringing thinking about this). I was only 21 at the time and at six weeks, this girl represented one of my longest ever relationships and I really liked her. She invited me over via text message also letting me know her parents were out along with a wink. I thought to myself "Jackpot." Anyway, in my excitement, I left both the card and the teddy on the bus. I attempted to chase the bus for a block or two but couldn’t catch up with it, so beaten, dejected, and sweating profusely I headed to the girl's house. When I got there she was wearing some very sexy nightwear and the whole staircase was covered in candles. She led me upstairs and her bedroom was also covered in, I’d say, about 200 candles. It looked amazing; she had also made up a little bed on the floor, also surrounded by candles. It looked like a freaking love palace and I was about to become it’s king… or so I thought! She told me to take off my jacket and shut my eyes, which I did. She then told me to open them and she had removed the night gown and was just in her underwear. She walked over to me and kissed me and I... I don’t really know how to describe this using words suitable for a family show - I basically ruined my underwear there on the spot. She knew it too; it was fairly obvious in fact! She just said "oh" and proceeded to start blowing the candles out. Fueled by embarrassment and a need to break the silence I then picked this moment to tell her that I’d left her card and present on the bus. I’m happy to tell you the rest of the night went great and this year we will spend our 13th Valentine's Day together (if we manage to get a babysitter for our two children) and no doubt we’ll talk about this story too. It’s bought up at least twice a year!

JASON L.: I will share with you my most humorously disappointing Valentine's Day. As an added bonus, it's actually more of a humorously disappointing Valentine's week. It's a long story, but I get humiliated in the end so feel free to drop that ultimate pity prize on me. Last February I was working in NYC. My job really did not care at all about their employee's whereabouts during the day, so being the obedient employee I was I routinely took advantage of this by taking unceremonious (yet paid!) one hour walks to nearby Washington Square Park. On 2/14 last year, Kind, some kind of granola bar company, had a booth in the park handing out fake roses with a free candy bar. They said I could have the free bar if I promised to give the rose to someone I loved that day. Since Carrie Underwood was already married, I totally disregarded the stipulation and just figured, "Hey what the hell free candy bar!" That's when it dawned on me: I'm in my mid-20s and alone on Valentine's Day, so why not use this free rose to try to create some great "how we met" moment with a lovely young lady? It could be kind of funny, and some girls might find that kind of confidence and spontaneity to be endearing. So I set about a mission to find a cute girl who looked to be about my age (and wasn't with a guy) to give her the rose. I mean it works for The Bachelor every year. Easy enough, right? Wrong. I don't know if you've ever tried to just cold approach a strange girl, but it is incredibly scary. I was overwhelmed with feelings that I'd just be bothering them, I wouldn't know what to say, they'd already have a guy, and that the hundreds of people surrounding me on the streets of NY would see me get rejected and ridicule me. I walked those streets for the next 45 minutes only to return to the office still with the rose. There were tons of girls, but I had an excuse every time: "she's walking too fast so she's probably busy," "she's too hot, I'd have no chance," "too many people on this road, let's turn right here". Now I was even more depressed about Valentines Day. I was still single and now I had to live with the shame of being too chicken to hand a simple rose to a strange girl. I was determined to prove I could do it. Problem was I had a long commute home that day, so any chance of giving out the rose on Valentine's Day was over. That said, I was going to make it happen the next day. Went out for a walk again on 2/15, chicken out again. The weekend passes, Monday comes, and there I was walking around for an hour again... nada. I was literally packing this fake rose with me going to work everyday and then bringing it back home with me. Finally, Tuesday 2/19 comes and it happened! I was coming back from a 30 minute unsuccessful voyage again when there she was, standing by herself with her dog outside a Starbucks. I'll spare the romanticized details about her blonde hair flowing perfectly in the wind and how time felt like it stood still...she was cute, enough said. I think after five days and probably close to four hours of actual walking around just trying to give the rose out, I had reached my breaking point. So I finally found the nerve, walked up to her and said something like, "Excuse me. This candy bar company was giving out roses in the park today and said to give it someone special. I don't have anyone special, but I thought you looked adorable so this is for you." I'm sure despite how smooth the words look in text form, they came out rather nervously. Nevertheless, she smiled and possibly even began to blush. It actually looked like my play was going to work. "Oh my god, thank you. I'm Jenny." She said. "I'm Jason. Soooooooooooooooo......... what kind of dog do you have?" I attempted to small talk her, figuring I might have a chance. "Oh he's a golden doodle. I got him when...wait a minute, wasn't there a booth giving out these exact roses ON VALENTINES DAY?" Busted.



Who had the "best" Valentine's Day Fail story and deserves to be declared the winner?
SHANE F. - Spicy Burger leads to V-Day Evening Screaming on Commode
NICK S. - Girlfriend Presets Him With Stuffed Replica Dog in a Cage
JIMMY G. - Gets Regifted Powertool He Sold To His Girlfriend's Ex
KOFI P. - Girl Throws Out His Chocolates Thinking They Were Poison
MICHAEL: Testicular Trauma from Horseback Riding Accident, GF Leaves With Male Nurse
THOMAS L.: Girlfriend Receives Valentine's Day Package In Separate Pieces for a Week
MARTIN: Prematurely "Celebrates" Girlfriend In Her Underwear, Ruins His Underwear
JASON L.: Busted Giving A Rose To A Stranger Five Days After Valentine's Day
  



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