By Dusty, Eric, Jeremy & Kevin, The Experience

Hi everyone and welcome back to week two of “Ask The DEJ Experience.” Yeah we are a day late but it is only so we can provide some real insight in to you, the reader/listeners questions. If you happen to have a question for any of us drop us an e-mail at the audioexperience@gmail.com or we drop us a line in the Torch Contributors Zone in the Official Ask the Experience Thread. We will eventually answer all of the questions asked unless we constantly forget to answer certain questions and in this case take the friggin hint. Anyway, on to the questions.

SteveMHW: What are your thoughts on the OVW-WWE split, and what are your favorite memories of the OVW era? This is mainly for Dusty, but all three of you are welcome to respond. (This is all Dusty’s as he is the resident OVW expert)

Dusty responds: I have a lot of fond memories of OVW from when Jim Cornette was the booker. Really, that was pretty much my favorite wrestling at the time. I thought it was perfect, an old school promotion booked by the most old school man in professional wrestling. No one is better than Cornette at making lemonade out of what was given to him. A lot of people on the internet would have you believe Paul Heyman could turn water to wine or whatever, but for OVW, no one was a better fit than Corney. They should have shut the promotion down the minute he got himself fired.

I know it's a cliché answer but the best hour of OVW television ever was the culmination of the Doug Basham vs. Danny Basham feud. They were feuding with each other in OVW, but had just recently debuted on WWE television as a team, so watching Cornette weave through the garbage he was just handed and doing an angle that not only resulted in a great match between the two, but ended up with them being united at the end, tying up all the loose ends and having it all make sense for the OVW fanbase. Cornette was a master at turning WWE's curveballs into works of art.

Truth asks: Who is the best rapper who wrestles?

Kevin responds: The WWE doesn't want to show up John Cena so Kofi Kingston's styling’s have been put under wraps even though he is the best rapper in wrestling. Kofi gained great knowledge from Ziggy Marley while on the island but has been influenced since by the greats of the rap tradition such as Grandmaster Flash and Run DMC and has created a great hybrid between Reggae and Rap. (Jeremy’s note: Kevin knows nothing about rap other than John Cena’s album.)


Steve MHW asks: Eric, which Simpsons episode is your favorite? Are there any episodes from more recent seasons that are up for consideration?

Eric responds: No, there are absolutely no episodes from recent seasons that are up for consideration. OK, after lots of contemplation, I did like the gay marriage episode, "There's Something About Marrying," from season 16 (aired in 2005), where Homer starts marrying gay couples ("Queerly beloved..."), Patty comes out, Marge is concerned about her sister's wedding, but it's because Patty is about to marry a man. A man Patty met on the LPGA tour. Figure that one out. But my favorite episode by far is the Beer Baron episode, "Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment," from season eight. it turns out Springfield is under a 200-year-old edict that has outlawed alcohol, so Homer starts making booze in his house ("Who wants a bathtub mint julip?"). This brings in Rex Banner, who replaces Chief Wiggum but just can't seem to solve the mystery ("What's the matter, Chief? You've hardly touched your Banana Kaboom." "Well it's not a very happy birthday.") Anyway, upon further review, it turns out the law that was passed 200 years ago was repealed 199 years ago, and Banner gets catapulted far, far away. This episode is stuffed with hilarious lines and just enough ridiculousness to let you, as the nerds say, suspend your disbelief. Season eight is a must own ("Hurricane Neddy," "You Only Move Twice"), so go own it!

ChrisSimpson asks: This is for Jeremy, I've heard rumors that in Titan Towers where Vince McMahon works, all of the bathrooms are unisex and of identical white porcelain design, consist of four stand up urinals and 6 sit down toilets against a wall facing a wall of sinks and a long mirror. I've also heard that these unisex bathrooms do not have stalls, that it's just a row of sit down toilets in the open like the urinals and that the employees are paid well but at the expense of having to go to the bathroom in front of each other. Is this true and if it is, what the &*#@ is wrong with Vince McMahon?

Jeremy responds: Vince McMahon is trying to socially advance the American culture by creating such a bathroom system. By placing men and women I the same situation it creates an environment of asexuality and thus a more productive office environment. Vince believes in sex on the airways not in the office. This al comes from a truly inspirational figure.

Vince originally got the idea from the unheralded classic films of Paul Verhoeven. In Robocop the bathroom you described had already been created. You remember the scene where Dick Jones threatens the young upstart bob Morton? This is the idea behind that bathroom. No young upstarts in WWE will act that way towards Vince McMahon or Linda McMahon if they know what is good for them and this bathroom serves as a reminder that Dick wins that battle in the end. He also aped another Paul Verhoeven with the unisex portion of the bathroom just like the showers in Starship Troopers. It is a little known fact that Vince is a huge fan of Verhoeven and tries and emulates his theories and beliefs in his bathrooms. It seems to be working as WWE is a billion dollar company so more power to him. He also aped the morality of Showgirls and Basic Instinct but that is for another time.

Kirk Angel asks: Do you think New Jack would make be a better garbage man than Batista?

Dusty responds: Absolutely not. Batista has big huge all natural looking arms. That means he is stronger than Jack. You have to be strong to be a garbage man. There's a lot of lifting. Note also that Jack has all those gig marks on his head. Picture this scenario: Grandma B's out there trimming her hedges, because she is completely insane, and that's all she does all day until she pisses herself too many times and the neighbor kid comes over and rolls her down the street because of the smell. So she's out there doing her thing and the garbage truck rolls up. Those gig marks could really frighten her, you know? Batista would wear a suit with the arms cut out. Grandma B calls him handsome.

Eric responds: No way. New Jack might be able to use his trusty utility knife to cut down your cardboard boxes for curbside recycling (speaking of which, ol' Betsy the Roommate is sitting here like a god-forsaken lump, watching wrestling even though she doesn't like it, instead of taking out the garbage -- something I've done probably 28 out of 32 weeks -- like a functional human being... she is a damn idiot), but Batista is pretty much a Hefty bag stuffed, or dare I say injected, with muscles full of water and lungs with diminished capacity. He kinda reminds me of when Earthquake sat on Damien, but inside the bag was really pantyhose stuffed with hamburger. Oh, and there's no Santa Claus. Sorry to ruin everyone's childhood memories.

Kevin responds: Definitely, Batista would blow up just getting on and off the truck and wouldn't be able to lift the garbage cans by the end of the first street. On the other hand, if the mechanical compacter failed to work, New Jack would jump off the nearest building to get the garbage compacted.

Jeremy responds: If anyone says Batista would make a better sanitation worker than New Jack they are ridiculously misinformed. New Jack has shown time and again that he has the muscle strength, stamina and the accuracy to throw a trash can like no other in the industry of professional wrestling. The next closest would be Bubba Ray Dudley but even he has struggles with the trash can now. It is a sad site to behold. But New Jack never lost his propensity for the flying trash can. He routinely would launch the trash can from half the aisle away and it nearly always landed in the ring. Oh, did I mention the can was usually full of garbage to begin with. If this is not a concrete argument I don’t know a better way to explain. Batista has shown the ability to lift people and dump them but then afterward he is winded and his recovery period is much too long. Imagine him on the streets. He would be winded after hopping off the side of the truck or just walking from house to house. How would he possibly lift his fourth can in a row when he is blown up? He can’t and thus, New Jack is the only correct answer. Plus, he has his own overalls to wear which saves our tax dollars.

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